The Romance

I feel like I am living in a never ending romantic drama, and I'm tired of it. Let me explain:

We've all seen romantic dramas (I love them). Titanic and The Notebook are examples. Two people meet and at some point (usually pretty quickly) we realize that they are meant to be together. However, soon after we realize their destiny, obstacles get in the way. Things start out great, but then they get complicated. The lovers go through ups and downs and as the viewer we get frustrated, and a little nervous. Are they going to end up together? We watch as pride gets in the way of one admitting they are wrong or the other letting go of the hurt. We watch the lovers make ridiculous decisions and wonder (out loud if you are me, haha); "what are you thinking?!?" (Of course, many of us have made the same mistakes they have).

(Romantic Comedies are very similar except that the obstacles are funny and seem less intense to us. While at times I feel like I am the butt of cosmic jokes and enjoy laughing at the things going on in my life, there is way too much drama in my life for this to be a romantic comedy)

I enjoy watching the drama for a while, but eventually I long for the ending. The roller coaster gets old and I want to get to the end...hopefully, a happily ever after.

That is exactly where I am...longing to get to my ending...my happily ever after. Not with a man...with my bridegroom. I know I am guaranteed a happily ever after- an ending to the roller coaster and an entrance to a life of never ending and completely fulfilling love. No more obstacles coming between me and my great love- no more silly decisions, hurtful words or devastating actions (all of which, by the way, come from me). While I don't wonder what the end of my story will be, I am desperately longing to get there. Its not the suspense or the not knowing that's killing me, its the drama...the drama is getting old.

I want to be with Him so desperately I can barely stand it. My heart doesn't always match up with my actions-which is why the drama continues. I am ready for my lover to say "enough" and to come and get me. That's how most romantic dramas end...and how the book of revelation tells me my story will end as well. At some point my lover will get tired of the drama. He won't be able to stand being apart from me any longer and will come and get me.

Don't hear anything suicidal or depressing in this, I don't want to die...I just want to be with my lover. "How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" (Psalm 13:1-2).

I like my life, I like the people in my life...but I love Him. I love Him desperately and with all that I am. I HATE being apart from Him. I have intimate moments with Him, but they simply leave me longing for more...because I know there is so much more. And then there are the days that I don't feel close to Him...the days when the drama continues and I feel empty and alone; and longing for Him.

I have come to the point in my life where nothing comes close to Him. He is so good...and nothing can compare. Don't get me wrong, I still settle for less than Him far too often. At times, I still seek comfort in things that are not Him, I sometimes desire simplicity and comfort over Him. That's more of the drama that I am so tired of, yet still participate in.

I wish my life was TiVoed. In fact, my TiVo remote has a button that I can push that will take me directly to the end. I would absolutely push that right now. I am not saying that I don't enjoy life...I just know I will enjoy my next life so much more.

Since I can't push the button, I sit and wait for the ending. I will try enjoy the experiences that make up my love story...the ups and the downs that come together to make my life. Truth be told, the drama only makes me fall more and more in love with Him, which I'm sure is why He allows the story to continue. He will get tired of it some day, though. He will get to the point where He can't stand being away from me anymore, and He will come get me. "Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready." (Revelation 19:7). I long for that day...with all of my heart, I long for that day.