I was thinking about this yesterday, and I think I have figured out why. I'm overweight, and I have been most of my life. I'm not sure exactly what that means, other than I am not skinny. I am not even saying that I have a problem with my weight, but I am constantly aware that I don't weigh what people think I should weigh. I could be thinner, absolutely. I don't think I could ever really be thin (at least not in a healthy way), but I could definitely be thinner than I am. I am in pretty good shape (I run on a regular basis), I am physically pretty strong (which I really like about myself), I have never had anything close to high cholesterol or high blood pressure (which everyone says is the reason that being overweight is bad). But, I also eat too much. For the most part, I eat healthy...but I tend to eat too much. I also have a pretty intense sweet tooth, which I often satisfy with fruit...but not always.
There are people that eat more than me, and much less healthy than me...but they are thinner than me. I know plenty of people that exercise less than me, that are much thinner than me. The problem for me is not that I am unhealthy, its that I am overweight. Most people think that the two go hand in hand, but that's not always true.
Here is a report that just came out TODAY:
"Also surprising was that overweight people were up to about 40 percent less likely than normal-weight people to die from several other causes including emphysema, pneumonia, injuries and various infections. The age group that seemed to benefit most from a little extra padding were people aged 25 to 59; older overweight people had reduced risks for these diseases, too.
Why extra fat isn't always deadly and might even help people survive some illnesses is unclear and is still disputed by many health experts.
But University of South Carolina obesity researcher Steven Blair, who says people can be fat and fit, is a believer. He called the report a careful and plausible analysis, and said Americans have been whipped into a "near hysteria" by hype over the nation's obesity epidemic".
"Experts" are always changing their minds about what is healthy and what isn't. What is society going to do with this new information? This study states that people that are about 25 pounds OVER their "normal" weight are actually healthier than thinner people.See, the solution to this problem is not for me to become thinner. If I did try and solve this problem by losing weight, I would always just be terrified of gaining it back. When I lose weight, the goal can't be to be thinner so I can feel beautiful. I need to feel beautiful now, and lose weight simply because I want to. How do I get there?
I am healthy, decently intelligent, occasionally funny with pretty eyes, good hair and skin (and thanks to my parents, great teeth)...why can't I feel beautiful? My lips are thin and my smile is crooked, my hair is sometimes too frizzy, I bite my nails and my feet aren't my favorite...but none of those things make me feel unattractive. It all comes down to my weight.
When I walk around, I don't feel uncomfortable with myself. When I see pictures of myself, I do. When I look in the mirror, I do. Every woman claims to struggle with this, but I have a really hard time believing that thin women have any idea what I'm talking about. They might not like certain parts of themselves, but overall society immediately accepts them. Tyra Banks walked around in a fat suit for a day. She had the same eyes, lips, hair that she always has. The only difference was that she was fat...and suddenly, she became unattractive.
So how in the world are overweight people supposed to feel beautiful?
How is it that I can be the most confident I have ever been in who I am as a daughter and chosen bride of the King...and still not feel beautiful? I absolutely feel beautiful to Him, doted on by Him...but He's the only one (well, Him and my dad here on earth...my dad has thought...and told me...I was beautiful from the minute I was born...and you know I couldn't have been too attractive as I was being born, haha).
I am not the woman you want to look like. Maybe that's my problem. You might think, "Oh I wish I had her...", but you don't think, "Oh, I wish I looked like Trish". I'm not saying this because I am ugly, I am saying this because if you wished to look like me, then you would be wishing to not be accepted. To be judged and ridiculed immediately, before a word is even spoken, because your body is unacceptable. No one would wish that on themselves. I wouldn't wish it on anyone else.
How do you feel beautiful when satan isn't the only one lying to you...the rest of the world is too?
