I'm in Blacksburg

So, I'm in Blacksburg and its pretty surreal. There are buildings I don't recognize and people I definitely don't recognize...but its Virginia Tech. Its still the school that changed my life, that God used to make me into the woman of God that I am...and the school that I love so much. The school is hurting though. Everyone here is hurting.

Last night was really amazing as we got to attend Intervarsity's worship event. They joined with Cornerstone Christian Fellowship (the Asian Christian Fellowship on campus) as well as really anyone that wanted to come. Add to that the 20 or so Intervarstiy alumni that are here this weekend, and there were a lot of people. It was INCREDIBLE! We spent the night worshipping together, praying together, and lifting up the name of Christ. We heard speakers encourage us to allow God to heal us, and we felt the presence of God. I miss that community. I love my life so much, but I have never experienced community like that, except while I was at Tech.

"It sucks to mourn alone." That's what my friend Wade said when I asked him how he was doing, and I completely understood what he meant. Many people think that since we have already graduated and no longer live in Blacksburg (Wade and I no longer live in VA), then we weren't directly affected...but we were. We wore maroon and orange this week, not because it was "Hokie Hope Day", but because we had to. Even if we were the only ones, which we were, we still had to do it.

Few people have asked how I'm doing. Wade experienced the same thing. He couldn't take it anymore and came to Blacksburg on Wednesday. I spent the week trying to minister to others while hurting so deeply. I spent the week trying to explain to 10 year olds how God could allow something like that to happen...while I was asking Him the same question. I spent the week crying to my parents on the phone because they were the only ones that understood.

Wade and I talked about what it was like to watch the Convocation Ceremony on TV. We both watched it alone. Cried alone.

It feels so good to be here! People here understand. You look at someone and you know they are thinking and feeling the exact same things that you are. Neither one of you can put it into words, but you don't have to.

Maroon and Orange are incredibly healing. I walked around all week as the only one wearing maroon and orange, and felt so alone and lost. The minute I got here, I felt peace. I felt the community...people cared, and they understood.

It really does suck to mourn alone. This weekend, however, I don't have to.

My friend Wes (Wade's twin brother) is the Intervarsity staff worker here and has had the incredible job and trying to help the students heal, to see God in the midst of their pain and to trust in Him and not turn away in anger. He has been doing all of this while dealing with the pain himself. Wes went to Tech. He graduated the year after I did. His heart and passion is for this school, and for the students here to know Christ, and know Him intimately. Please pray for Wes. The first female victim's roommate is a part of Intervarsity...and she is in pain. Please pray for her.

Honestly, I could go on and on...so many hurting people that need prayer. I know most of the rest of the world has moved on. If this had happened at any other school, I probably would have moved on too. But, I can't move on. I need to be healed. And I am definitely not the only one. So, if you think about it, please pray. We are Virginia Tech...but we still need Christ.