Grace and Justice

Looking back on my life, I would have to say that I was a very... interesting child. In some ways, I haven't changed much at all. So, imagine my passion for helping people being played out in a 2 year old. Thankfully, I had a little brother that clearly always needed me to "help" him. The poor kid didn't talk forever because I just decided I knew exactly what he needed all the time and would take care of everything for him!

I was also the "that's not fair kid". I mean, to a ridiculous point. If my parents could explain to me why something was fair, I would totally accept it. However, if they couldn't, well then it wasn't fair and therefore I didn't have to listen to them. How in the world they put up with me... whew...

As I grew older, my passion for justice grew stronger and stronger. (I think it has at least something to do with my dad being a police officer... and an awesome one at that...). I not only wanted things in my life to be fair, I believed strongly that things everyone should always be fair. In 7th grade I got into a very intense discussion (okay, it was close to an argument, haha) with my state representative (he came to visit our school to talk about... I don't remember what...) over the death penalty. Yes, as a 12 year old I was convinced that the death penalty was unfair and therefore should be outlawed (I had statistics, stories of people who were wrongfully executed and even financial data showing how cost ineffective it is... feeling sorry for my parents yet??) and felt that I needed to let my state representative know. I wonder why everyone thought I was going to grow up to be a lawyer...

Okay, cut to 19 years later and I am more than aware that the world is unfair. Working with abused and neglected kids in the inner city for 9 years has more than beaten the "fairness" out of me. I have seen way too many people get away with things and too many children punished for things they have no control over. I get it. My dad was absolutely right (shhh, don't tell him I said that!); life is not fair.

And there is another big difference between now and then (nope, I am actually not any taller now that I was in the 7th grade). Now, I am a Christian. 4 years after arguing (quite impressively for a 12 year old, if I do say so myself) that the death penalty was wrong, I accepted Christ into my heart; becoming a huge beneficiary of the most extreme example of a wrongfully convicted man in the history of the world. I got away with every wrong I have ever committed and fully accepted another man; a completely innocent man, being punished instead. Oh the irony...

This turn of events in my life, however, has not decreased my passion and desire for justice on earth. This is not entirely a bad thing, but it certainly causes me some problems.

I still get angry when I see injustice in the world. The cries of Habbakuk mirror my thoughts:

How long, LORD, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds.
Therefore the law is paralyzed,
and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous,
so that justice is perverted.
~Habakkuk 1: 2-4
And I do fight against injustice, in every way that I can (Isaiah 58:6). Still, no matter how hard I fight or how angry I get, injustice continues. All over the place. All around me.

So, what do I do? I can't ignore injustice, but I also can't live life angry.

How do I go home at night and sleep soundly knowing that injustice continues no matter how hard I fight or how angry I get? And what about that whole; "Love your enemies" thing? How do I fight against injustice yet love those who perpetrate it?

I can't. It is literally impossible. My passion for justice runs so deep, I don't think I could ignore it if I wanted to. I hate injustice. And if I am really honest, I hate those who perpetrate it.

God hates injustice. But, he still loves those who perpetrate it.

I can't stop injustice, but one day He will.

I can't love those who perpetrate injustice, but He does.

So, what do I do?

I look to Him. I ask Him to fill my heart with love, even for my enemies. On my own, I have no compassion. But as Christ works on my heart, I find the anger dissipating and compassion emerging.

I spend time reading the Sermon on the Mount. Help me take the speck out of my own eye Lord, so that I can more clearly see the world with through your eyes.

I meditate on Genesis 1:27 and Psalm 139. Yes, I was knit together in my mother's womb, created for a purpose by the creator of the universe! I was created in the image of God, given life to spend my time on earth reflecting His glory! I wasn't the only one, however. Every single person was created in the image of the Almighty; Lord help me to see you in everyone I meet... and to glorify you because of that.

And finally, I remember. I remember that day in 1996 when I accepted the death of an innocent payment for my own wrongs; so that I could go free and escape the punishment that I deserved.

It's a lot easier to love my enemies when I realize that without Christ, I am the enemy.