On the Rollercoaster!

When I said I felt like I was about the get on a roller coaster in my life, I had no idea how true that metaphor would be! The last few days have been full of ups and downs, twists and turns and I think my head is still spinning a little!

Almost exactly a year ago I was going through one of the hardest times of my life (just after my vacation with the kids, which was one of the greatest times of my life!). On July 9th, 2008 I had to make a phone call and report a teenage boy that I believed was abusing his sister. (I wrote about it here). The weeks and months that followed were full of accusations, arguments, lies, confessions and the beginning of healing. Almost a year later, all of those things continue.

One of the hardest parts about that time was that I was not only close to the girl being abused, but I was very close with the abuser. And my heart absolutely broke for him. I probably should have been angry at him, but from the moment I heard the accusations Jesus allowed me to see this boy through His eyes. Its hard to believe, but Jesus loves the abused AND the abuser. I never wavered in my support of the hurting little girl, but my heart still broke for this broken young man.

I haven't talked to him since he was arrested (he eventually confessed and is serving 5-10 years in jail), but I have not stopped praying for him. I have wanted to write him a letter for the last year, expressing my heart for him, but I've been too scared. Scared it would hurt him worse, scared that I would say the wring things...just scared. So, I never wrote him, I just prayed.

Then yesterday, I received a letter in the mail from him. This time I was scared of what he would have to say to me. Turns out, I had no reason to be scared, God was doing something big.

The letter is full of grammatical and spelling errors, run on sentences and some things that I can't really read, but its the most beautiful letter I have ever received. My heart was pounding as I read his words of honesty, repentance and love. He wrote to tell me that he is sorry, he cares about me and prays for me often. He told me about how hard things are for him, but that he is really trying to trust in God. He told me that he wants me to come and visit him and pray for him. I read the letter while I was at church, and bawled through the worship time. (How I made it through leading Children's Church, I will never know!).

I have been trying to write him back, but nothing by tears of joy and thankfulness come out. Hopefully God will give me the words soon. I plan to go and visit him sometime soon too.

I am again full of shock and awe in the midst of some incredible moves of the Holy Spirit.

But the enemy is still at work too.

Last night that same little girl called and asked if she could spend the night with Bonita and Linda. Of course I said yes and they all had a really fun night singing and dancing and laughing together. Unfortunately, unbeknown to me, her mom had not given her permission to sleep over. And when her mom discovered where she was, she was not happy. I got a phone call at 10:00 this morning that went something like this:

"Hello?"
"This is ___'s mother. I did NOT give ___ permission to spend the night with you last night. I don't want you around her anymore. You got my son locked up and if this happens again I will get you locked up" Click.

I immediately went and told the girl that she had to go home and talk to her mom, so she got dressed and left. After she left, the girls shared with me that they had spent most of the night talking, singing worship songs to God and praying. They said this little girl prayed for hours, crying and begging God to come and help her.

As it turns out, things in her house have gotten very difficult and she wants out. Apparently so do several of her siblings. My heart broke and the girls and I immediately went to prayer. I knew that there was little else we could do.

I got 2 phone calls later, one from her and one from one of her brother's, both apologizing for how their mom had treated me. I assured them that I was not upset at all and was intensely praying for them and their mom. I also reminded them that I was in the wrong, I should have checked with the mom before agreeing to have the little girl at my house. They both thanked me, and the little girl told me that she wanted me to know that she loves me very much.

This family is so amazing and each one of them has such unique gifts (there are several kids in the family, all wonderful in such different ways). I know their mom has a lot on her mind and I pray so much that she would look to Jesus and not the things of this world. I am sad that my house can not be a sanctuary for this girl, but I trust God to meet her where she is and bring her peace despite everything going on around her. I pray the same thing for the rest of her family.

So many ups and downs! PLEASE join me in prayer for this family. I, and other leaders that these kids have confided in, need serious Godly wisdom as to what, if anything, we should do. The kids desperately need to know that God is right with them every moment, and their mom needs to know just how loved and cherished she is by her heavenly bridegroom.

I am all too aware that I can't save this family, but I can see them saved. Pray with me in expectation of something big. God has proven Himself to be more than faithful.