Learning from Andrew Jackson

I really like history. I especially like American History. I don't know why, but history just fascinates me. I am horrible at memorization, but for some reason learning History was never about memorization to me. I learned it, was fascinated by it, so it just stuck. AP American History was my favorite class in high school, and it came pretty easily to me. I thought about majoring in history in college, but I didn't see much of a future for me with a History degree (unless I went into teaching or on to graduate school, neither of which I desired). I did get a history minor in college, and most of my history classes were my favorites.

The late 1700's through the 1800's is the most interesting time period to me. The people that make up that part of American History are endlessly fascinating to me and I feel like I can learn so much from them. Actually, the people are what make history most interesting to me. I like learning about events, but the people are what I like the most. (I think this is why I enjoy the bible so much as well. Its a historical account that focuses not just on the events, but the people as well. Its always interesting to me!). For some reason, Andrew Jackson, is one historical figure that continues to fascinate me. I have read a lot about him, and still want to know more. Maybe its because I prosecuted him in a mock trial we had in 11th grade (and won). He's also a pretty controversial figure and I just can't decide if I really like him or not, which makes him really interesting to me. (My favorite athletes tend to be like that as well...you don't want to like them but you can't deny that they're good...its weird, I know).

Anyway, my interest in Andrew Jackson brought me to a revelation recently. And yes, you are about to get a history lesson. Feel free to skip to the end of this bores you. :)

Andrew Jackson has been described in many ways. His nickname was "Old Hickory" because he was so tough (he never backed down from anything). He was a war hero in the war of 1812, VERY popular among the American people (actually won the popular vote in the 1824 presidential election but lost because of electoral votes. Why we STILL haven't changed that system, I will never understand, but anyway...). He loved his wife more than anything and was incredibly loyal to those he supported. If he didn't like you, however, you were in trouble. Jackson also owned over 140 slaves and is responsible for the horrific "Trail of Tears" in which the Cherokee Indians were forced out of their home in Georgia and moved out west, a journey that killed 1 in 4 along the way.

I would describe Jackson in one word: bitter. Bitterness surrounds almost everything he did, good and bad.

Andrew Jackson was captured by the British and tortured as a prisoner of war. Not long after, he fought against a tribe of Indians who were attacking (at the command of the British) whites along the Georgia/Florida border. I believe it was his bitterness toward the British, and the Indians who did what they said, that lead to him forcing the Cherokee out of Georgia, in direct violation of the Supreme Court.

Jackson won the popular vote in the presidential election in 1824, but the electoral votes were tied. That meant that the vote went to the House. The Speaker of the House (Henry Clay) gave his support to Adams and Adams was declared the winner. He then nominated Clay as his Secretary of State (back then the Secretary of State was basically next in line to become President). Jackson was convinced that Adams and Clay were corrupt and never forgave either of them.

In 1828 Jackson ran for President again and ran a very dirty campaign against Adams. Adams fired back, often slandering Jackson's wife in the press. When she and Jackson met, she was in an unhappy marriage. Her 1st husband petitioned for, and was granted permission to divorce her. She and Jackson mistakenly thought that meant that the divorce was final, and they married one another soon after. A few years later they discovered that the divorce had not been final and they were therefore living in sin. The divorce was quickly taken care of, and Jackson and his wife remarried one another, but the gossip continued. Adams often attacked Jackson's wife's "bigamy", which angered Jackson a lot (The marriage/divorce mishap happened 31 years BEFORE the 1828 election). Incidentally, Jackson also fought in at least 13 duels in his life, most of which were because of people talking about his wife. Jackson won the election of 1828 by a land-slide, but his wife died before he was inaugurated. Jackson blamed John Quincy Adams for the death of his wife because he said the stress from the accusations of the campaign killed her. Jackson spent the rest of his life trying to make Adams miserable (and succeeded).

That is just the tip of the ice berg about Jackson. He held so much anger and resentment inside of him for every real and perceived wrong that he faced. And it appears that he never let it go.

In many ways, Jackson was a good president...fighting for the common man and against the elite that had been running things. He was the first to support term limits, hated the electoral college and is still the only president to have $0 federal debt during his term (although it didn't last long). However, his anger and resentment often clouded his otherwise good judgment and led to a fight with the congress over the national bank, directly disobeying the Supreme Court and being responsible for the deaths of thousands of Indians, firing his entire cabinet because he didn't like the way their wives were acting and almost losing South Carolina as a part of the US because he refused to compromise.

I truly believe that Jackson could have been one of our greatest presidents had he been able to push aside his pride and bitterness.

But, he wasn't. So, instead of having a great president, we have a pretty good one that could have been so much more, and in some instances did way more harm than good.

I don't ever want to look at my life and think it could have been so much more.

Yet, I feel like at this point, there is a lot of pride and bitterness holding me back.

I realized that I have lost love for my neighbors and instead harbor incredible frustration and even bitterness toward some of them. I have held on to this frustration under the guise of "righteous anger", but that's not what it is. Its me not loving.

I should be able to sleep at night without music blaring right outside me window. The fact that I can't is not the fault of my neighbors. Its the fault of the selfishness they struggle with. The same selfishness that I struggle with, it just comes out in a different way.

I want to love my neighbors, but right now I don't. And honestly, that fact didn't really bother me much, until I saw myself in Andrew Jackson. Bitter and angry. Not pretty.

I'm fascinated by Andrew Jackson, but I don't want to be like him.

I want to love, Jesus. I need your help.

Oh How I Need You, Lord

I am currently sitting in a windowsill on the 17^th floor of hotel room overlooking the city, listening to a 9 month old little girl babble to herself while fighting the sleep that will (hopefully) soon win. The girls (Linda, Bonita, and Cupcake) are downstairs playing in the indoor pool. It’s the first time in a while that I feel really relaxed. (The 9 month old is Cupcake’s niece).

This last week has been insane. I led an AIM trip in Philly (that consisted of 2 churches), and part of that trip included running a VBS at Cornerstone. I also did all of my normal Cornerstone activities (Reading Rocks, Kids Club, etc). My car spent the week in New Jersey, which meant I couldn’t travel back and forth to my house like I am used to. Unfortunately, that meant that I would leave the house at 8 a.m. every morning and got home around 11 or later every night. Needless to say, by Friday I was exhausted. The girls were with me for almost all of that, and unlike me, they were AMAZING!

For the last several weeks I have been spending my times with the Lord trying to rekindle my desire for Him. This week reminded me that even when I don’t desire Him, I NEED Him. I had forgotten how desperate that need is. I literally had nothing to offer anyone, and every night in worship fell before Him crying out for…Him.

I got spiritually beat up pretty bad this week. I battled with feelings of uselessness and utter failure almost every moment of every day. I am more aware than ever that anything good that came out of this week could not have come from me, it is ALL Him. I can’t really describe how worn out, bruised and battered I felt by Friday.

We survived the week, and by everyone else’s accounts, it was a great trip. The VBS was amazing and the students talked every night about how God was moving in their lives. (You can check out the video blogs on the trip at http://philadelphia.myadventures.org/). They even spent several hours washing people’s feet on Kensington Ave. It was amazing. The girls were incredible. They had their moments (they are fighting with one another a lot lately, I wish I could give them each their own room), but overall they were wonderful. They didn’t complain at all despite the long hours(they were with me everywhere…from 8 a.m.-11 p.m.), and were always willing to jump in and serve.

By Friday we were completely exhausted and really needing a day off (I worked over 80 hours this week between Cornerstone and AIM). The girls spent the day with their mom, so I planned to go to NJ to pick up my car, hang out there for a while and then come home to just chill. That was not exactly what happened.

First, we left Philly about 2 hours later than we planned (my friend Ashley kindly drove me the hour and a half to Ocean City to get my car). We hit some traffic as well, so we didn’t get to the mechanic until around 12:45 (we had hoped to be there by 10 at the latest). My car was ready to go though, and it started right up when I got in, I was so excited!

Ashley headed home and I headed to a movie theater. I VERY much enjoyed the movie (mostly because I was by myself), although I was one of only about 5 people in the theater yet I somehow had people sitting right behind me. That kinda made me mad, but I got over it. J

After the movie I started back toward Philly so I could take a shower, relax and sleep (I was SO tired!). I made it about 30 minutes down the road when my car radio cut off (exactly what happened the week before). Then my power windows wouldn’t go down (again, happened before). I realized immediately that I didn’t have much time before my car was going to die again so I quickly got off the interstate and made it to a parking lot before it quit on me. It was about 4:30 by this time, and I was pretty frustrated. When my car broke down a week ago I told the mechanic I thought it was the alternator since it started with the radio cutting off (the alternator is what distributes power throughout the car. A battery recharges itself, so it shouldn’t cut off while driving, but an alternator will). Anyway, the mechanics said that the battery was the problem, so that’s all they replaced. They were only half right.

I called a tow truck and about an hour later was again sitting at Pep Boys waiting to hear the news. I was right, it was the alternator. Apparently, the problem had been a bad battery and a bad alternator. The other Pep Boys didn’t test the alternator once they saw the bad battery, so they didn’t catch the problem. Thankfully, since it was their fault, I didn’t have to pay for the towing or the second tests. Unfortunately, I did have to pay for the alternator and the labor to install it, which came to a little under $350. That, plus the $150 I spent on the new battery has bankrupted me for a while.

Thankfully, this Pep Boys was able to fix my car that day, so by 8:00, I was on my way home. I got back to Philly, picked up the girls and was finally in my bed by around 9:30…and I was DONE, completely wiped. My neighbors, however, were just getting started. They were having some sort of party that started before I got there, and was still going as of 5:00 this evening, when the girls and I left. I didn’t sleep well last night.

My house was a disaster from all 3 of us just running in and out of the house all week (and we didn’t clean anything up from our beach trip), so we spent the first part of today cleaning. The girls did a great job with their chores and my house actually looks livable. Unfortunately, around 2:00 this afternoon I had a mini breakdown. I was SO tired and wanting a nap, but the music was SO loud outside. I literally couldn’t take it anymore. So, despite the fact that my car completely bankrupted me, I went to priceline.com and prayed we could find a decent hotel at a decent price so I could get away and at least get some rest. The girls were pretty frustrated as well, they had a really long week too!

Let me just say that I LOVE the “Name Your Own Price” thing on priceline. I decided to get a room for two nights so we would really have some time to relax, and we ended up getting a 4 star hotel (with an indoor pool!) in the heart of center city for 60% off. We were packed and out of the house by 5:00! And, thanks to a wonderful gift card I got for my birthday, we had a really yummy Olive Garden dinner (only 2 blocks from the hotel!) once we checked in. You could literally see the stress and frustration wash off as we laughed and splashed in the pool.

I hadn’t been able to spend much time with Cupcake this week, and the girls both consider her their best friend, so we were VERY excited she could come too. She helps her parents take care of her niece a lot, and tonight she was in charge of her. I really wanted to help ease that load (she is only 17 and has to help raise a baby that she didn’t give birth to. She loves her niece, and her parents are great, but its hard…), so I told her to bring the baby. I have enjoyed every moment of playing with the baby and am loving watching her sleep right now. I don’t want to go back home. I have no desire to leave Philly, or even Kensington. I also have no desire to return to my block.

At the End of the Day...

I realized today that a lot of my recent posts have been pretty positive. As I go through each day, though, things are not so positive.

Pretty much every day I wonder what in the world I think I am doing having 2 teenage girls that are not my own living in my house. SO many issues come up all the time, SO much drama surrounds almost everything we do and I get to the end of every day totally exhausted. At least a hundred times a day I ask God what in the world He was thinking...I ask myself if I really heard God say to take the girls in, and I wonder if I will make it to the end of the day.

The strange (and wonderful) thing is, though, that at the end of the day; when I sit down to write my blog posts, I am overwhelmed by the blessings of the day. Seriously. Every night as I sit down to write, as I replay the day in my head, I am nothing but thankful. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

I feel that way tonight. And when I tell you about my day, you will see why I am so surprised as the fact that while I am writing this I am smiling and thanking God for how blessed I am!

I have been promising the girls for about 2 weeks now that we would take a day off and go to the beach. Unfortunately, things kept coming up and we kept postponing it. Finally I stopped flaking out on them and we decided to go today.

We left about an hour after I wanted to, but we really didn't have to be any where at any time so it was okay. All of the AIM staff that is here for the summer came along with us (in their own van), so we had a good size crew (with me were Cupcake, Bonita, Linda and Linda's boyfriend, Rocky and then there were 5 AIM staff girls).

The drive up was fine (we went to Ocean City, NJ) and we had a cooler packed with food and drinks to make it through the day. We got there in a little less than 2 hours, but just as we were parking my car started acting funny. The radio turned off and then my automatic window wouldn't roll up. As I pulled into the parking space, the car turned off and wouldn't start again. I realized pretty fast that this was a battery or alternator problem, but I didn't really want to deal with it right as we arrived. So, I decided to pray about it and deal with it whenever we were ready to head home (all the while hoping it would just miraculously start when we got back).

We ended up spending about 5 hours on the beach, having A BLAST!! I LOVE the ocean, so I spent most of the day in the water with the kids. The waves were insane and we all laughed about getting beat up by the ocean. We laughed so hard, all day!!

When we weren't in the water (which was only about an hour or so), this is what the kids were doing:

Yup, they dug a giant hole. They had SO much fun doing it, and I just laughed at them. No, not with them, AT them. They spent an hour digging a hole! :)

(Incidentally, my camera recently broke, so my pictures may be a bit funny. It still takes pictures, but the screen is broken, so I have no idea exactly what I am taking a picture of. I just kinda guess, haha)

After the hole digging we spent some more time in the water (between the giant waves and really strong undertow, we got a work out!) before packing up our things and starting to head home.

That's when the real fun began.

My car would not start when we got back so we decided to try and find someone to give my car a jump. Apparently no one in Ocean City has jumper cables (yes, I know I should have them. I will soon...). Thankfully, one of the AIM girls has a AAA membership, so we called them. After about an hour they arrived to jump start my car.

I was nervous at this point that the problem was not my battery, but my alternator instead. The issues I had with the radio and window pointed to alternator to me, but the AAA guy said it was the battery. He also said I would need a new one immediately, so once he got my car started we drove straight to Pep Boys (about 10 minutes away) to get that replaced.

Unfortunately, my car didn't make it that far. Thankfully, it waited until we got off the interstate before it died again. So, I called AAA again and the lady that I talked to agreed that it sounded like an alternator problem. She called me a tow truck and we sat and waited again.

During this time, the AIM girls had gone to grab some dinner. Unfortunately, on their way back to rescue me, they accidentally made an illegal U-turn and were pulled over by the police...and given a ticket. At this point we had been dealing with my car for about 2.5 hours, so the ticket wasn't an exciting addition to our evening.

Finally, the tow truck arrived and took my car to Pep Boys.

(poor car!)

Since it was so late (close to 8 p.m. at this point), there wasn't anything they could do until tomorrow. They will call me and let me know what the problem is (although we all agree it appears to be the alternator...about a $300-$400 repair) and then fix it. Of course, then I will have to drive back to New Jersey to pick it up. Oh, and did I mention that I'm leading an AIM trip this week AND helping run a VBS at Cornerstone...while still leading Reading Rocks, Kids Club, etc. Oh, and my head boss at AIM (like second in command to the CEO) will also be here this week. I should have plenty of free time to take 4 hours out of my day to get my car, no problem!

Anyway, thankfully the AIM girls had driven a 12 passenger van so we all just piled in with them and headed home. My house was the last stop and after we unloaded everything I was heading back out to the van to take the AIM staff home (I am using the AIM van temporarily since I have to make airport runs tomorrow), I realized that the ONLY key to that van had fallen off the key chain and was no longer there. By this time it was about 10 p.m. and we were exhausted...and looking all over the street in the dark for the van key.

It took us about 20 minutes to find it, but we did find it!! I immediately took the staff to their house so they can rest (our teams arrive tomorrow!) and then went home to get everything ready for tmw.

There were so many insane moments today. I don't have $400 to fix my car, and I kinda freaked out about it. I thought my car was going to die in the middle of the interstate, and that wasn't really fun. I felt so guilty making the kids just sit and wait, over and over again, as we dealt with all of these issues. I was close to frantic when we couldn't find the van key, wondering how much it was going to cost to have a new one made (incidentally, I am getting copies made tomorrow!). I was exhausted, overwhelmed, confused and frustrated and many points during the day.

Still, as I write all of that, its not what I remember most about the day. What I remember most is me, Cupcake, Linda, Bonita and Rocky holding hands and laughing as we were all being dragged away by the waves. I remember laughing uncontrollably as the kids buried themselves in their hole only to realize they couldn't get out. I remember not one complaint coming out of their mouths as we sat in parking lots for hours waiting for jumper cables and tow trucks. I remember laughing as Linda explained what she thought tentacles were (she was way off base with that, haha). I remember driving home, after dropping everyone off and thinking, "Lord, how is it possible for you to be THIS good??"

As I think about today, I can't help but think that I am so undeservedly, undeniably, inexplicably, blessed.

Wonderful

Had a GREAT day today. Had 44 kids at Reading Rocks. Spent the afternoon watching Cupcake, Linda and Bonita come up with a dance that displays the constant pull on their hearts between good and evil. Had fun at Teen Club. Went for a 3 mile run after Teen Club and thoroughly ENJOYED Bonita and Linda the whole time(even if I did have to circle back several times to stay with Linda). Laughed a lot as we made lunches and prepared for our trip to the beach tomorrow.

There is so much more to tell, but I am exhausted.

And very blessed.

Best Birthday Ever!

I know I have a lot to update, so I will take it one subject at a time. :)

First, I had a really really great birthday! My parents came to visit and we seriously had pretty much the best weekend ever. THANKS mom and dad!!

They arrived on Thursday and were exhausted, so they just relaxed at the house while I went to Teen Club. Of course, a huge fight broke out on my block about 15 minutes after they arrived and I had to call the cops to come and break it up. That was just awesome. My parents did stay up until I got home and then went straight to bed. :)

Friday (my birthday!) we spent the morning at the Battleship New Jersey. We LOVED it! My dad took pictures of everything on the ship except the underside (we couldn't find any scuba gear to rent, haha). It was fascinating and fun!

From there we headed to my favorite restaurant in the city and enjoyed delicious food. After that we went to tour the Mutter Museum. That part wasn't as much fun. Several of my friends really enjoy that museum (its full of a lot of gross medical experiments), but it was so crowded we spent more time getting bumped into than actually looking at things (and the design of the museum is...well, its just stupid). We were pretty tired after that and just headed home to chill for the night. (Woohoo! I'm 29!!!)

Saturday was the 4th of July and there was a LOUD party on my block all day. Thankfully, we were out of the house most of the day so it didn't bother us too much. We spent the entire day in Center City, checking out all the historical stuff (yes, I am just one of many dorks in my family). We saw Elfreth's Alley, Ben Franklin's grave, the US Mint, Constitution Hall...as well as a memorial to all the fallen fire fighters and police officers, a really cool park that I like, and some other stuff I can't remember. It was a full day!

When we got back to my block the party was still going strong so we decided to head to Target and pick up some things for my house. We got home around 9:30 and thankfully at least the music was turned down. My parents went to bed just in time to miss the drunk woman loudly cursing at my front door. I had to call the cops...again. Twice in one visit, my dad was loving that part.

Sunday was my favorite day of their visit. We started at church where everyone was very welcoming to them. From there we went to a DELICIOUS lunch with Shera and laughed a lot. After lunch we chilled at the house for a while before heading to Prayer Pals. There my dad got to spend an entire hour hanging out with his pal, which was awesome for both of them (my mom got to see her pal for a little while on the 4th and then again at church). After Prayer Pals we visited with Junito and Donni and took pictures. They were so excited to see my parents, and vice versa! It was awesome!!!

After visiting with them for a while we picked Shera up and then visited with my friends Frank and Elizabeth and their adorable daughter Selah (where my parents made sure to mention their love for babies, i.e. grandchildren. I don't know why the 4 kids we had just left are not enough for them, haha). We ended our day at the Art Museum where we took pictures with Rocky and enjoyed an amazing view of the city. Oh, and we stopped for some Rita's water ice as well.

Unfortunately, my parents had to leave early Monday morning and I was actually sad to see them go. We had an AMAZING weekend!! I have no idea what I am going to do next year to try and make my 30th top this...

Taking a little blog break...

Hey Everyone! I have a lot to update you on (the start of Reading Rocks, me speaking at Teen Club, some crazy things happening in Philly), but you are just going to have to wait until probably the beginning of next week.

Why? I'm glad you asked! My parents are here visiting!! This is only their 3rd visit in 7 years, so I plan on soaking up every moment I can with them! Tomorrow (my 29th birthday, woohoo!) we are touring the Battleship New Jersey. Yes, we are all history geeks, so we will all love it. Not sure what else we'll be up to this weekend, but I'm excited!

So, I will be back in a few days with a lot to share!

Happy Birthday America! :)