I am done. In every way; spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally, I am done. I have known this feeling was coming and was just hoping to hold it off until Christmas when I would get to go home for a good amount of time, but alas, everything has caught up to me (with a vengeance), and its not pretty.
I have been feeling "off" for a few weeks now, knowing that stress and frustration were building but not really sure what to do about it. It all hit me last night, however, as I was driving home from a night at the symphony with Shera.
Shera and I had a blast together, enjoying the music (I LOVE the symphony!!) and then talking over coffee (tea for me) afterward. I was happy and enjoying myself. As I drove into Kensington, however, my demeanor immediately changed. I became angry and frustrated and realized that I hated it. For the first time, I hated going home.
Because I have been angry and frustrated; stressed and overwhelmed; I have just not cared about myself. I find myself not exercising, eating whatever and whenever I want and just not looking in the mirror because I just don't care. Stress alone will cause you to gain weight, add to that the fact that I am a stress eater, and you can kinda guess where I am right now.
You are probably thinking that working 2 jobs is what is causing me stress, but that's not it. It's Kensington. And I'm not the only one struggling (though I seem to be handling it the worst). On our staff we have a family who is dealing with cancer, another who is dealing with diabetes, a broken car AND a house infested with bed bugs, and another who is being slandered and gossipped about because they are unafraid to speak the truth in love even if it isn't popular.
For me, the list of struggles is long. Its disrespectful teens who blame me for their problems.
Its expectations of me that I can never live up to (expectations place on me by people I minster to) and then vocalized disappointment when I fail.
Its the mom of 2 kids that I love telling her children that I am the reason things are so bad in their house...and its them believing her.
Its the people talking about me behind my back, all the time.
Its the countless people with hard, unrepentant hearts.
Its pouring myself out and being mocked and slandered.
Its the neighbors playing loud music and cursing non-stop, and ignoring requests for that to stop.
Its people knowing that the only way to really get to me is to go after Bonita and Linda...and doing that. That kills me.
Its the fact that I can't remember the last time I got a good night's sleep; one that wasn't interrupted by cars, music, cursing, helicopters, dogs, etc.
Its always being on guard (if even just subconsciously) as I walk around my neighborhood.
Its people needing something from me, all the time.
Its watching parents ignore their kids, and not being able to do anything about it.
Its watching people I love and care about struggle and not being able to do anything about it.
Its...I should stop now. There are just a lot of things that make life hard right now.
There are some really great things going on as well, thank God! Despite all of the attacks on our staff, I feel like we are closer than ever. Not a single one of my many frustrations has anything to do with my coworkers.
Jen (my roommate) and I are getting along great!!
Bonita, Linda and I are doing great as well. They continue to blow me away.
GOD IS GOOD!!! I can honestly say that, I know it and believe it with all my heart. I have been learning a lot through this time, and I will definitely share more about that later. Right now, though, I'm just so completely done I don't think it would make sense. Rest assured, I still know that I serve an amazing, and LOVING King.
Oh, and I am leaving for North Carolina early Wednesday morning!! And I will get to see my brother, whom I haven't seen in a year!!! And we're having Thanksgiving dinner with my grandmother, who I haven't seen in over a year!! I'm SO EXCITED!! I plan to soak up every moment with them, and sleep a ton!!!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
On My Way Home
My house is located less than one block from Kensington Ave. In fact, my "backyard" is the back of buildings that line Kensington Ave. So, in order for me to get to my house, 9 times out of 10 I have to drive down Kensington Ave.
This means that almost every night as I drive home I have to pass the adult video store with the neon arrow pointing to the front door. Along the way I watch as a cars pull over to the side of the road and young women get in those cars. I'm not exaggerating. I see it all the time. I pass police patting people down and men pushing shopping carts that hold their entire lives. I see cars dropping women off on the side of the road, looking vacant and numb. Every night as I drive home.
After I turn off of Kensington, I have to circle around McPherson Square Park. Its more commonly known name is "Needle Park". As I drive around I pass kids playing football while the guy sitting on the park bench behind them falls asleep in a drunken stupor. I see dogs being walked, and needles being tossed. Trust me when I tell you that the park lives up to its name.
Once I make my way around the park, I get out of my car and walk toward my house. To get there I must pass through an empty lot full of trash. I pass guys standing on the corner waiting for their customers. Kids play in the street, shouting curse words at one another as if they learned them from Dora the Explorer.
I open my door, say good bye to my neighbors (all of whom said hello to me as I walked by) and close it again. The sounds of the street; loud music, yelling, cursing, kids crying and dogs barking, can not be avoided and often fill the rooms of my house. Still, in my home I find peace and sanctuary. I thank God for it because I am desperate for it.
This scene plays out in my life day in and day out. And that's just my trip home. My days are filled with hurting kids, hurting teens, and angry adults.
No president can change my neighborhood, only Christ can. I honestly don't know how people can survive in this place without Christ. I have Him and sometimes I'm just barely hanging on.
This means that almost every night as I drive home I have to pass the adult video store with the neon arrow pointing to the front door. Along the way I watch as a cars pull over to the side of the road and young women get in those cars. I'm not exaggerating. I see it all the time. I pass police patting people down and men pushing shopping carts that hold their entire lives. I see cars dropping women off on the side of the road, looking vacant and numb. Every night as I drive home.
After I turn off of Kensington, I have to circle around McPherson Square Park. Its more commonly known name is "Needle Park". As I drive around I pass kids playing football while the guy sitting on the park bench behind them falls asleep in a drunken stupor. I see dogs being walked, and needles being tossed. Trust me when I tell you that the park lives up to its name.
Once I make my way around the park, I get out of my car and walk toward my house. To get there I must pass through an empty lot full of trash. I pass guys standing on the corner waiting for their customers. Kids play in the street, shouting curse words at one another as if they learned them from Dora the Explorer.
I open my door, say good bye to my neighbors (all of whom said hello to me as I walked by) and close it again. The sounds of the street; loud music, yelling, cursing, kids crying and dogs barking, can not be avoided and often fill the rooms of my house. Still, in my home I find peace and sanctuary. I thank God for it because I am desperate for it.
This scene plays out in my life day in and day out. And that's just my trip home. My days are filled with hurting kids, hurting teens, and angry adults.
No president can change my neighborhood, only Christ can. I honestly don't know how people can survive in this place without Christ. I have Him and sometimes I'm just barely hanging on.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
In Another Man's Arms
Okay, this post has been brewing around in my head for months now and I just haven't had a lot of time to really dig into it more. So, there may be a continuation of this later, but I needed to get it out and at least let my mind start to explore.
When I was home visiting my parents back in September I read several books. In fact, that's my favorite thing to do when I have time off. Recently I have been reading and enjoying a lot of fiction novels. As I was reading one night, one sentence in a book really struck me. The narrator is walking us through the story of a woman named Elle. At the end of what was supposed to be her wedding day, the narrator says that Elle, "danced on her wedding night in another man's arms.".
The plot of the story was a woman who had her engagement broken a few weeks before the wedding, and her struggle to recover from that sorrow and trust God and herself again. It wasn't the plot that I related to. But that line; I felt that line.
See, one of the things that I long for as a single woman is the ability to dance in some one's arms. I'm not a huge physical touch person, but I do desire the peace and security that can be found in some one's arms. To be able to rest even for a moment...
Of course, because I am very strict with myself when it comes to relationships with the male gender, there is no dancing in any one's arms until I am married. At least, not in any intimate way. So, while I desperately desire to rest in some one's arms, I will not settle for just any arms, they must be attached to the man who has promised his life to me.
What I am realizing, though, is that this doesn't mean that I don't seek that security and rest from other things. The battle that goes on in my head is ridiculous. For me, that "other man" appears in very different forms. Sometime its all out anger and frustration with God for withholding this blessing from me. Other times its simply turning to food or television for comfort. Sometimes its simply sleeping so I don't have to face the world. My sad list goes on and one.
There is a God in heaven with His arms desperately reaching for me, wanting to wrap me up so tight that the only sound I hear is the beating of His heart. A God who left this earth to prepare a place for me in heaven so I can be with Him forever; because His greatest desire is to be with me. That God is wooing and pursuing me every moment of every day. He wants to share my joy and heal my pain. He is passionately in love with my heart.
Instead of resting my head on His shoulders and finding comfort in His embrace; too often I find myself spending my wedding night dancing in another man's arms.
When I was home visiting my parents back in September I read several books. In fact, that's my favorite thing to do when I have time off. Recently I have been reading and enjoying a lot of fiction novels. As I was reading one night, one sentence in a book really struck me. The narrator is walking us through the story of a woman named Elle. At the end of what was supposed to be her wedding day, the narrator says that Elle, "danced on her wedding night in another man's arms.".
The plot of the story was a woman who had her engagement broken a few weeks before the wedding, and her struggle to recover from that sorrow and trust God and herself again. It wasn't the plot that I related to. But that line; I felt that line.
See, one of the things that I long for as a single woman is the ability to dance in some one's arms. I'm not a huge physical touch person, but I do desire the peace and security that can be found in some one's arms. To be able to rest even for a moment...
Of course, because I am very strict with myself when it comes to relationships with the male gender, there is no dancing in any one's arms until I am married. At least, not in any intimate way. So, while I desperately desire to rest in some one's arms, I will not settle for just any arms, they must be attached to the man who has promised his life to me.
What I am realizing, though, is that this doesn't mean that I don't seek that security and rest from other things. The battle that goes on in my head is ridiculous. For me, that "other man" appears in very different forms. Sometime its all out anger and frustration with God for withholding this blessing from me. Other times its simply turning to food or television for comfort. Sometimes its simply sleeping so I don't have to face the world. My sad list goes on and one.
There is a God in heaven with His arms desperately reaching for me, wanting to wrap me up so tight that the only sound I hear is the beating of His heart. A God who left this earth to prepare a place for me in heaven so I can be with Him forever; because His greatest desire is to be with me. That God is wooing and pursuing me every moment of every day. He wants to share my joy and heal my pain. He is passionately in love with my heart.
Instead of resting my head on His shoulders and finding comfort in His embrace; too often I find myself spending my wedding night dancing in another man's arms.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
We Revolved!
And once again I wait a ridiculous amount of time to post on my blog and I now have way too much to write. Will I ever learn? Let's hope so!
This has been an extremely busy week (as you can see by my lack of posts) and I have a million things running around in my head. I honestly feel like I hardly have time to breath, and I'm not really enjoying it. Its just that time of year, though, so I need to push through...and I will.
I really have a lot to share with you all, and I REALLY want to (honestly, more for me than for you, sorry. I have been so busy I haven't had a chance to really talk to anyone about things that are on my mind and my heart...which means you guys will get it soon! Be afraid...be very afraid...). Anyway, unfortunately its getting late and I don't have time to write everything I want (need) to. I do, however, have time to tell you about the Revolve Tour that several teens, leaders and I attended this weekend. (Okay, so I know there are other things I could talk about, but Carisa requested a Revolve post, and well I just can't say no to her!). :)
Revolve is a 2 day concert/event specifically seared toward teenage girls; challenging and encouraging them in their faith. Its basically Women of Faith for teen girls. Imagine 10,000 teenage girls in one auditorium. Scary? You have no idea...
We attend Revolve every year, usually making it a fun get together for our God's Girls, past and present. This was our 3rd year attending, and honestly I went into it with some reservations.
First, in the past 2 years there has been a lot of focus on having the right look. All of the speakers and singers on stage were dressed in the latest fashions with their hair and make up perfectly done. And other than Natalie Grant last year (who had just given birth to twins), not a single girl appeared to be larger than a size 4. This didn't seem to fit with all the talk about God loving you exactly how you are and finding your true identity in God, not the world. Many of the women on stage seemed to be conforming to the world.
There also seemed to be a big focus on relationships. I will never forget Tammy Trent's testimony at Revolve the first year, it spoke to my heart in a way few things ever have. I also remember Jenna Lucado's talk last year about fathers and the Father's heart for His daughters. Unfortunately, those talks were exceptions rather than the rule. Well, the lone guy speaker, Chad Eastham, is always memorable, funny and speaks truth. Still, the rest of the talks always seemed to follow this formula; "I was born, I went through some rough stuff, I accepted Christ, I met my husband and we are living happily ever after". I really felt like we were setting our girls up for some serious disappointment with that one.
And finally; I REALLY don't want to downplay the pain and struggle that women face when they struggle with anorexia or bulimia...but if one more skinny girl talks to me about her food struggles, I think I might scream.
So, I went into the Revolve not expecting much and actually pretty convinced that it would be our last year. Praise the Lord I was pleasantly surprised!!!
First, I couldn't even tell you which of the women were wearing makeup and which weren't. Some wore their hair in a pony tail, some down. They looked nice, but not overdone. It was as if they had gotten themselves ready instead of having a makeup artist do it. It was such a wonderful difference! They were all dressed nicely, but not necessarily in the latest fashions. I could actually believe that their outfits came out of their own closets instead of a wardrobe room.
Second, several of the speakers were single!! In fact, I only know that because they weren't wearing rings...there wasn't even one talk that involved relationships or "living happily ever after". The talks were all about the heart. God's incredible love and desire for your heart!!
Chad did talk about boys (that's kind of his role on the tour), but he did it in a way that spoke to the heart of each girl, not just her actions. He's always been good at that and this year was no different.
And this year no one talked about their eating disorder!! There were references to that being a possible struggle for the girls, but the focus was on God, not the struggle.
Of course, me being the horribly opinionated person that I am, I still didn't think it was perfect. The cost of everything boggles my mind. I question how all the commercialization of the event is honoring to God. I don't understand how an event that is focused on trying to get girls to see God before boys can have faint inducing boy bands perform. There are entirely too many pop culture references, and almost none of them relate to our girls. The event is very focused on suburban teens, although not so much that our girls don't love it.
All that aside, though, I think this was the best year yet.
Another thing that made this year so much fun was having so many former God's Girls there that are now teens. It was almost like a reunion with them. Revolve is designed for teen girls, but since Carisa and I lead the pre-teen girls Sunday School class we usually focus on the preteens that go. This year, though, I came to a revelation. For the most part, Revolve is over the heads of our preteens, but our teens are really starting to listen. It was really exciting to watch the teens tune in, and even more exciting to hear their thoughts on things afterwards. Several of them really felt like things that were spoken went straight to their heart.
The preteens were a different story. They spent about as much time in the bathroom during the talks as they spent in their seats. They did have fun, though, so it wasn't a total waste. Still, it was more than just fun for a lot of our teens, which is so exciting.
Realizing this led me to go ahead and decide to buy tickets for next year (you get the best price if you buy them at the tour). While Revolve isn't perfect, it does a pretty good job of reinforcing the things we teach the girls at God's Girls. So, if nothing else, its an amazing reminder that what we taught them wasn't just for the year or two that they were God's Girls, we are talking about their whole lives.
It's also really good for the girls to be in a place with 10,000 other girls who want to live their lives for Christ. In our neighborhood, these girls are often the only ones in their family/school/block trying to live for Christ. At Revolve, for once, they don't feel so alone, weird or out casted. Its a really great encouragement for them.
Revolve was a bigger deal for me this year because of Linda and Bonita. Linda is growing up (big time!) and is already being faced with a lot of choices that I have no control over. She literally has countless boys chasing after her and choosing to follow Christ is becoming harder and harder. I am SO thankful for the friends she has chosen at church, but she still is the one making the choices. I saw her listening and really paying attention this year at Revolve. There was a lot said in talks, in the dramas and even in the lyrics of many of the songs that I am praying will resonate in her mind as she faces challenges I can't even begin to understand. And Bonita; she is coming up right behind Linda. She isn't quite as physically developed as Linda (yet), but I believe that Linda's choices will have a HUGE impact on what path Bonita will follow.
Plus, I really enjoy having all the God's Girls together, they are a wonderful group of girls. Revolve is kind of like a yearly reunion for us. Based on this year, I will focus on inviting as many teens as I can and only a select few of preteens. The tickets are too expensive for girls who are only there for the concerts.
I came home from Revolve relieved, thankful, and hugely burdened. There is so much going on in our church with teen girls getting pregnant and my heart literally started to cry out for these girls. They have to stand strong in ways that none of us can understand. They have internal and external pressures that I can't fathom. They will not make it if they don't trust in the strength of Christ. I literally cried for their hearts, knowing that my tears were expressing the heart of their Father. They are beautiful and so loved...but God will continue to work to develop perseverance in them, and that will not be easy.
In all, the money and time spent was well worth it. God will complete the work He began in them...
And, we had a lot of fun. :)
This has been an extremely busy week (as you can see by my lack of posts) and I have a million things running around in my head. I honestly feel like I hardly have time to breath, and I'm not really enjoying it. Its just that time of year, though, so I need to push through...and I will.
I really have a lot to share with you all, and I REALLY want to (honestly, more for me than for you, sorry. I have been so busy I haven't had a chance to really talk to anyone about things that are on my mind and my heart...which means you guys will get it soon! Be afraid...be very afraid...). Anyway, unfortunately its getting late and I don't have time to write everything I want (need) to. I do, however, have time to tell you about the Revolve Tour that several teens, leaders and I attended this weekend. (Okay, so I know there are other things I could talk about, but Carisa requested a Revolve post, and well I just can't say no to her!). :)
Revolve is a 2 day concert/event specifically seared toward teenage girls; challenging and encouraging them in their faith. Its basically Women of Faith for teen girls. Imagine 10,000 teenage girls in one auditorium. Scary? You have no idea...
We attend Revolve every year, usually making it a fun get together for our God's Girls, past and present. This was our 3rd year attending, and honestly I went into it with some reservations.
First, in the past 2 years there has been a lot of focus on having the right look. All of the speakers and singers on stage were dressed in the latest fashions with their hair and make up perfectly done. And other than Natalie Grant last year (who had just given birth to twins), not a single girl appeared to be larger than a size 4. This didn't seem to fit with all the talk about God loving you exactly how you are and finding your true identity in God, not the world. Many of the women on stage seemed to be conforming to the world.
There also seemed to be a big focus on relationships. I will never forget Tammy Trent's testimony at Revolve the first year, it spoke to my heart in a way few things ever have. I also remember Jenna Lucado's talk last year about fathers and the Father's heart for His daughters. Unfortunately, those talks were exceptions rather than the rule. Well, the lone guy speaker, Chad Eastham, is always memorable, funny and speaks truth. Still, the rest of the talks always seemed to follow this formula; "I was born, I went through some rough stuff, I accepted Christ, I met my husband and we are living happily ever after". I really felt like we were setting our girls up for some serious disappointment with that one.
And finally; I REALLY don't want to downplay the pain and struggle that women face when they struggle with anorexia or bulimia...but if one more skinny girl talks to me about her food struggles, I think I might scream.
So, I went into the Revolve not expecting much and actually pretty convinced that it would be our last year. Praise the Lord I was pleasantly surprised!!!
First, I couldn't even tell you which of the women were wearing makeup and which weren't. Some wore their hair in a pony tail, some down. They looked nice, but not overdone. It was as if they had gotten themselves ready instead of having a makeup artist do it. It was such a wonderful difference! They were all dressed nicely, but not necessarily in the latest fashions. I could actually believe that their outfits came out of their own closets instead of a wardrobe room.
Second, several of the speakers were single!! In fact, I only know that because they weren't wearing rings...there wasn't even one talk that involved relationships or "living happily ever after". The talks were all about the heart. God's incredible love and desire for your heart!!
Chad did talk about boys (that's kind of his role on the tour), but he did it in a way that spoke to the heart of each girl, not just her actions. He's always been good at that and this year was no different.
And this year no one talked about their eating disorder!! There were references to that being a possible struggle for the girls, but the focus was on God, not the struggle.
Of course, me being the horribly opinionated person that I am, I still didn't think it was perfect. The cost of everything boggles my mind. I question how all the commercialization of the event is honoring to God. I don't understand how an event that is focused on trying to get girls to see God before boys can have faint inducing boy bands perform. There are entirely too many pop culture references, and almost none of them relate to our girls. The event is very focused on suburban teens, although not so much that our girls don't love it.
All that aside, though, I think this was the best year yet.
Another thing that made this year so much fun was having so many former God's Girls there that are now teens. It was almost like a reunion with them. Revolve is designed for teen girls, but since Carisa and I lead the pre-teen girls Sunday School class we usually focus on the preteens that go. This year, though, I came to a revelation. For the most part, Revolve is over the heads of our preteens, but our teens are really starting to listen. It was really exciting to watch the teens tune in, and even more exciting to hear their thoughts on things afterwards. Several of them really felt like things that were spoken went straight to their heart.
The preteens were a different story. They spent about as much time in the bathroom during the talks as they spent in their seats. They did have fun, though, so it wasn't a total waste. Still, it was more than just fun for a lot of our teens, which is so exciting.
Realizing this led me to go ahead and decide to buy tickets for next year (you get the best price if you buy them at the tour). While Revolve isn't perfect, it does a pretty good job of reinforcing the things we teach the girls at God's Girls. So, if nothing else, its an amazing reminder that what we taught them wasn't just for the year or two that they were God's Girls, we are talking about their whole lives.
It's also really good for the girls to be in a place with 10,000 other girls who want to live their lives for Christ. In our neighborhood, these girls are often the only ones in their family/school/block trying to live for Christ. At Revolve, for once, they don't feel so alone, weird or out casted. Its a really great encouragement for them.
Revolve was a bigger deal for me this year because of Linda and Bonita. Linda is growing up (big time!) and is already being faced with a lot of choices that I have no control over. She literally has countless boys chasing after her and choosing to follow Christ is becoming harder and harder. I am SO thankful for the friends she has chosen at church, but she still is the one making the choices. I saw her listening and really paying attention this year at Revolve. There was a lot said in talks, in the dramas and even in the lyrics of many of the songs that I am praying will resonate in her mind as she faces challenges I can't even begin to understand. And Bonita; she is coming up right behind Linda. She isn't quite as physically developed as Linda (yet), but I believe that Linda's choices will have a HUGE impact on what path Bonita will follow.
Plus, I really enjoy having all the God's Girls together, they are a wonderful group of girls. Revolve is kind of like a yearly reunion for us. Based on this year, I will focus on inviting as many teens as I can and only a select few of preteens. The tickets are too expensive for girls who are only there for the concerts.
I came home from Revolve relieved, thankful, and hugely burdened. There is so much going on in our church with teen girls getting pregnant and my heart literally started to cry out for these girls. They have to stand strong in ways that none of us can understand. They have internal and external pressures that I can't fathom. They will not make it if they don't trust in the strength of Christ. I literally cried for their hearts, knowing that my tears were expressing the heart of their Father. They are beautiful and so loved...but God will continue to work to develop perseverance in them, and that will not be easy.
In all, the money and time spent was well worth it. God will complete the work He began in them...
And, we had a lot of fun. :)
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Much Better
I only have a few minutes (I am feeling motivated to clean my room right now and I don't want to lose it!), but I felt like I should update today since yesterdays was so depressing. Today, I had a really good day!
I spent most of it with Bonita and Linda and we had a BLAST!!
First, Bonita, Linda, Monique, Tasha and I all wore matching shirts to church. I LOVED IT!
After church I took Monique and Tasha home (I almost never get time alone with just Bonita and Linda) and then headed to the Verizon store to pick out a new cell phone. I was apparently due for an upgrade last year, but didn't realize it. My old phone has been acting up a lot, so this free upgrade came at the perfect time.
My new phone is sweet! And it was free!! I love free upgrades!! I went into the store with an idea of what I wanted, something simple and functional. Then I found a really cool phone that I really liked, that was free thanks to my upgrade. So, I got it! Here it is:
I have never really had a "nice" phone before, so now I'm kinda scared to use it, haha. Actually, right now I'm trying to learn how to use it. I think I'll get the hang of it eventually...
After we got my phone we grabbed some lunch and then headed to Sears to try and find winter coats for the girls. Bonita's prayer pal had sent some money for her to get a coat and we were hoping that it would also cover some of Linda's coat. Boy were we in for a surprise!!
It took less than 5 minutes for both girls to find the exact coats they wanted. Of course, they weren't paying attention to the price so I was a bit worried. Turns out, both coats were on sale for 60% off! So, instead of pay $72 for one coat, we paid $50 for 2! And they are really nice, name brand coats! We were excited!! New phone, new coats and very little money spent! Yay!! (And Bonita's Prayer Pal's money easily covered the coats, and then some!)
After we got the coats we picked up Monique and Tasha, as well as Miguel, and headed to Prayer Pals. We had to move the location of Prayer Pals due to some insurance issues and we weren't sure how it was going to work out. Well, it worked out great! We had our biggest night ever and all the kids wrote great letters and were very well behaved. We also had some extra help from 2 of the moms, which helped make it a really great night at Prayer Pals! (Plus, Carisa was there! I love it when she is around!).
After Prayer Pals it was time to go home. As I was driving Bonita and Linda home (I usually drop them off last), Linda made the comment that today was the first day she can remember not feeling angry or frustrated or getting an attitude with anyone. Bonita commented that she felt the same way. It was a really great day. :)
I don't even want to think about what my life would be like without those two. Thank you Jesus.
I spent most of it with Bonita and Linda and we had a BLAST!!
First, Bonita, Linda, Monique, Tasha and I all wore matching shirts to church. I LOVED IT!
After church I took Monique and Tasha home (I almost never get time alone with just Bonita and Linda) and then headed to the Verizon store to pick out a new cell phone. I was apparently due for an upgrade last year, but didn't realize it. My old phone has been acting up a lot, so this free upgrade came at the perfect time.My new phone is sweet! And it was free!! I love free upgrades!! I went into the store with an idea of what I wanted, something simple and functional. Then I found a really cool phone that I really liked, that was free thanks to my upgrade. So, I got it! Here it is:
I have never really had a "nice" phone before, so now I'm kinda scared to use it, haha. Actually, right now I'm trying to learn how to use it. I think I'll get the hang of it eventually...After we got my phone we grabbed some lunch and then headed to Sears to try and find winter coats for the girls. Bonita's prayer pal had sent some money for her to get a coat and we were hoping that it would also cover some of Linda's coat. Boy were we in for a surprise!!
It took less than 5 minutes for both girls to find the exact coats they wanted. Of course, they weren't paying attention to the price so I was a bit worried. Turns out, both coats were on sale for 60% off! So, instead of pay $72 for one coat, we paid $50 for 2! And they are really nice, name brand coats! We were excited!! New phone, new coats and very little money spent! Yay!! (And Bonita's Prayer Pal's money easily covered the coats, and then some!)
After we got the coats we picked up Monique and Tasha, as well as Miguel, and headed to Prayer Pals. We had to move the location of Prayer Pals due to some insurance issues and we weren't sure how it was going to work out. Well, it worked out great! We had our biggest night ever and all the kids wrote great letters and were very well behaved. We also had some extra help from 2 of the moms, which helped make it a really great night at Prayer Pals! (Plus, Carisa was there! I love it when she is around!).
After Prayer Pals it was time to go home. As I was driving Bonita and Linda home (I usually drop them off last), Linda made the comment that today was the first day she can remember not feeling angry or frustrated or getting an attitude with anyone. Bonita commented that she felt the same way. It was a really great day. :)
I don't even want to think about what my life would be like without those two. Thank you Jesus.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Not a Good Week
In fact, I would say this week bordered on horrible. I am SO glad that its over!!! There were some good points though, and I promise to mention them in this otherwise depressing post. :)
Monday night at God Squad the teens got so unruly during our beginning game that we had to end it early. The rest of the night went okay, but it was (is) hard to get over the discouragement of teens who have been involved with us for years showing such disrespect.
Kids Club came on Tuesday night and along with it came similar disappointment. It was a cold and rainy night so we didn't have as many kids as we usually do (last week we had 90, this week it was 50). That turned out to be a good thing since only 4 of my 13 leaders showed up as well. The kids seemed to have fun during the game time, but I had to stop my lesson 3 times to get them to behave. I've never had to do that before...
Wednesday was actually a highlight day. For several years now the girls have wanted to go to a haunted house for Halloween and this year I felt like they were old enough. So, we planned to go on Wednesday night. J, Jared, Lindsay and my roommate Jen all went with us and we had a lot of fun!! We went to the Bates Motel in Glen Mills, PA which actually has 3 different haunted attractions- a haunted hay ride, haunted corn maize and haunted house.
Unfortunately, some of it proved to be a bit too scary for Monique and Tasha (I tried really hard to convince Tasha not to come, but I guess she learned her lesson), so they sat out most of it. Bonita and Linda LOVED it though and we all had fun laughing at one another.
We got back into Philly right as the World Series game was starting, so I was able to watch us win!!! I enjoyed celebrating with my neighbors as we all ran into the street yelling. I quickly went back inside, however, to avoid the gun shots into the air. It was a great day to live in Philly. :0)
Unfortunately, Thursday came and kind of ruined the fun. On Thursdays at church, a group of students from PBU host an after-school program called "THRiVE". I am supposed to oversee it, but it becoming more and more obvious that I need to be even more involved. Right now the program is just kids sunning around for about 2 hours. That's what happened on Thursday. Not so good.
After THRiVE I usually take Bonita and Tasha home and then take Linda and Monique to Teen Club. I don't stay for Teen Club, so I usually get 2 hours alone in my house, which I enjoy very much. Unfortunately, the night before Halloween in Philly is know as Mischief Night. So, as I was driving home, a group of kids standing on a corner threw eggs at my car. I was mad...but also prepared. As soon as the eggs hit my car, I jumped out and chased them down. As I caught up to them (neighbors helped me follow their path, haha) a cop drove by and I handed them over to him. My car was still messy, but I felt a little vindicated. :)
On my way back to my car some of my neighbors informed me that I needed to get inside soon because there was going to be a shootout later. I thanked them for the info and headed home. Since no one knew exactly when the shootout would happen, I decided to try and see if someone else could take Linda and Monique home from Teen Club. Unfortunately, no one at Teen Club was checking their phones, so I had to go back out to get them. Thankfully, there was no shootout, nor did my car get any more eggs on it. Still a pretty frustrating day.
Friday was an extremely busy day. I was in charge of organizing our Halloween Celebration at church and while I had the plans finished, I still had a lot of shopping to do plus all of the set up. So, I spent the morning at church (with Jen helping me, thank goodness!) getting tables and chairs set up and making a final shopping list. I left around 1 to get all of my supplies, only to find traffic was horrendous (thanks to the Phillies parade being held downtown). I was able to get everything I needed though.
I picked Bonita and Linda up as soon as they got home from school, around 3:30, so they could come and help. We were at the church from then until the party started at 6:30, and then were there cleaning up until almost 11. Whew!
The party went really well! At least, I think it did...people definitely seemed to have fun! I had no idea how many people to expect, but we ended up with over 140!! We played some really fun games that got the kids really messy. Unfortunately, that took a lot of time to clean up, but I still think it was worth it.
Bonita was my official photographer at the party and Linda helped me run the games. Lindsay was also a HUGE help, pretty much doing anything I asked her to (as usual). I had some great help from the Hinsons, J, Jen., Dominique, Ms. Denise and some of the teens. They definitely saved the night for me!
I was beyond exhausted when I got home and pretty much went straight to bed. Today I purposely made NO PLANS and spent the day getting odds and ends taken care of, if I felt like it. I just needed one day without a to-do list!
I am SO thankful for Bonita and Linda right now, they have been amazing. They are the ones that asked me to pick them up so they could help me (they actually asked me to pick them up from school early so they could help more, but I declined), and they were so hard working. They even demonstrated one of the games for me during the party.
They never once complained during the hours of set up nor during the hours of clean up (even when they were carrying heavy buckets of water or scrubbing the bathroom floor). Honestly, they were perfect, and I am beyond thankful.
As we were scrubbing parts of the carpet (to clean up dropped marshmallow, haha) Bonita said to me, "Now I understand why you have to work so much. This is a lot!". She said it with a smile that told me she is really starting to understand that while work is hard, when you're doing it for Jesus, its totally worth it. It was really cool for them to get to see all that goes into what happens at church, so many people don't understand. I'm glad they are beginning to.
I still have a lot on my plate in the coming weeks with the Revolve Tour next weekend, my support raising trip to VA the following weekend, an AIM staff conference right after Thanksgiving and then the Kids Club Christmas party. I'm trying to not get too overwhelmed and just take things one day at a time.
Tomorrow, I am going to church where Bonita, Linda, Monique, Tasha and I will all wear our matching Phillies t-shirts. That should be a fun day. :)
Monday night at God Squad the teens got so unruly during our beginning game that we had to end it early. The rest of the night went okay, but it was (is) hard to get over the discouragement of teens who have been involved with us for years showing such disrespect.
Kids Club came on Tuesday night and along with it came similar disappointment. It was a cold and rainy night so we didn't have as many kids as we usually do (last week we had 90, this week it was 50). That turned out to be a good thing since only 4 of my 13 leaders showed up as well. The kids seemed to have fun during the game time, but I had to stop my lesson 3 times to get them to behave. I've never had to do that before...
Wednesday was actually a highlight day. For several years now the girls have wanted to go to a haunted house for Halloween and this year I felt like they were old enough. So, we planned to go on Wednesday night. J, Jared, Lindsay and my roommate Jen all went with us and we had a lot of fun!! We went to the Bates Motel in Glen Mills, PA which actually has 3 different haunted attractions- a haunted hay ride, haunted corn maize and haunted house.
Unfortunately, some of it proved to be a bit too scary for Monique and Tasha (I tried really hard to convince Tasha not to come, but I guess she learned her lesson), so they sat out most of it. Bonita and Linda LOVED it though and we all had fun laughing at one another.
We got back into Philly right as the World Series game was starting, so I was able to watch us win!!! I enjoyed celebrating with my neighbors as we all ran into the street yelling. I quickly went back inside, however, to avoid the gun shots into the air. It was a great day to live in Philly. :0)
Unfortunately, Thursday came and kind of ruined the fun. On Thursdays at church, a group of students from PBU host an after-school program called "THRiVE". I am supposed to oversee it, but it becoming more and more obvious that I need to be even more involved. Right now the program is just kids sunning around for about 2 hours. That's what happened on Thursday. Not so good.
After THRiVE I usually take Bonita and Tasha home and then take Linda and Monique to Teen Club. I don't stay for Teen Club, so I usually get 2 hours alone in my house, which I enjoy very much. Unfortunately, the night before Halloween in Philly is know as Mischief Night. So, as I was driving home, a group of kids standing on a corner threw eggs at my car. I was mad...but also prepared. As soon as the eggs hit my car, I jumped out and chased them down. As I caught up to them (neighbors helped me follow their path, haha) a cop drove by and I handed them over to him. My car was still messy, but I felt a little vindicated. :)
On my way back to my car some of my neighbors informed me that I needed to get inside soon because there was going to be a shootout later. I thanked them for the info and headed home. Since no one knew exactly when the shootout would happen, I decided to try and see if someone else could take Linda and Monique home from Teen Club. Unfortunately, no one at Teen Club was checking their phones, so I had to go back out to get them. Thankfully, there was no shootout, nor did my car get any more eggs on it. Still a pretty frustrating day.
Friday was an extremely busy day. I was in charge of organizing our Halloween Celebration at church and while I had the plans finished, I still had a lot of shopping to do plus all of the set up. So, I spent the morning at church (with Jen helping me, thank goodness!) getting tables and chairs set up and making a final shopping list. I left around 1 to get all of my supplies, only to find traffic was horrendous (thanks to the Phillies parade being held downtown). I was able to get everything I needed though.
I picked Bonita and Linda up as soon as they got home from school, around 3:30, so they could come and help. We were at the church from then until the party started at 6:30, and then were there cleaning up until almost 11. Whew!
The party went really well! At least, I think it did...people definitely seemed to have fun! I had no idea how many people to expect, but we ended up with over 140!! We played some really fun games that got the kids really messy. Unfortunately, that took a lot of time to clean up, but I still think it was worth it.
Bonita was my official photographer at the party and Linda helped me run the games. Lindsay was also a HUGE help, pretty much doing anything I asked her to (as usual). I had some great help from the Hinsons, J, Jen., Dominique, Ms. Denise and some of the teens. They definitely saved the night for me!I was beyond exhausted when I got home and pretty much went straight to bed. Today I purposely made NO PLANS and spent the day getting odds and ends taken care of, if I felt like it. I just needed one day without a to-do list!
I am SO thankful for Bonita and Linda right now, they have been amazing. They are the ones that asked me to pick them up so they could help me (they actually asked me to pick them up from school early so they could help more, but I declined), and they were so hard working. They even demonstrated one of the games for me during the party.
They never once complained during the hours of set up nor during the hours of clean up (even when they were carrying heavy buckets of water or scrubbing the bathroom floor). Honestly, they were perfect, and I am beyond thankful.As we were scrubbing parts of the carpet (to clean up dropped marshmallow, haha) Bonita said to me, "Now I understand why you have to work so much. This is a lot!". She said it with a smile that told me she is really starting to understand that while work is hard, when you're doing it for Jesus, its totally worth it. It was really cool for them to get to see all that goes into what happens at church, so many people don't understand. I'm glad they are beginning to.
I still have a lot on my plate in the coming weeks with the Revolve Tour next weekend, my support raising trip to VA the following weekend, an AIM staff conference right after Thanksgiving and then the Kids Club Christmas party. I'm trying to not get too overwhelmed and just take things one day at a time.
Tomorrow, I am going to church where Bonita, Linda, Monique, Tasha and I will all wear our matching Phillies t-shirts. That should be a fun day. :)
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