Okay, I have to start this post with something funny. My mom called me yesterday to inform me that I had spelled Philadelphia wrong in the title of my blog. I have had this blog for close to a year now and no one has noticed, or if they have they didn't say anything. I certainly didn't notice! I'm excited to see my mom is finally reading this thing, and keeping me accountable with my spelling. :) Thanks mom!!! (I have fixed the misspelling, fyi, so don't go looking for it now, haha)
I am back from staff retreat and I am SO excited to be home!!! I'm going to bed soon (in my OWN bed!) and I will wake up tomorrow whenever I wake up! And, I don't have ANYTHING on my to do list for the day! I am SO EXCITED!!! I do have plenty of things to do, but nothing is pressing. I think I will pretend I'm not in town so I can just do whatever I want. Maybe I'll read a book...maybe I'll watch a movie...maybe I'll go for a run...who knows??? I'll decide tomorrow!!
So, to explain a little about the title of this post...on the way back from the mission trip one of the teens, L, had a mood ring and we all took turns putting it on and seeing what mood we were in. For some reason that entertained us for hours. I don't have the mood ring but I am experiencing a variety of emotions so I thought I would be creative with the title of this post. Of course, the only people that would really get it are the people that don't read this blog...but oh well!
Staff retreat has left me in a state of mixed emotions. I will try to explain, but as usual I make no promises of making sense. Overall it was a good retreat. I really enjoyed my time with the girls and although they added to my responsibility while there, it was worth it. They make me laugh and smile a lot. The 3 of us have been together for 5 years now and there is an incredible level of comfortably with us. I know them, they know me. We love each other, we annoy each other. We make mistakes, we forgive, we challenge and we grow. Its hard, but its wonderful.
I had fun with the staff as well. I got to the retreat on time (for the first year ever, haha) and enjoyed hanging out with some of the staff in a relaxed low key environment. Our first meeting as a staff went well as we all shared how our summers went. It was encouraging to hear some awesome things that God did in and through each of us this summer, but it was difficult to hear some of the struggles everyone faced...mostly being overworked and not getting enough time with family. Overall, though, we were all encouraged by what God had done. In fact, this time last year we were making a long list of mistakes we had made, and this summer that list was much shorter. Praise God!
We only had 2 more meetings as a staff over the course of the retreat and they were good as well. We spent a lot of time this morning in prayer and I was VERY encouraged, uplifted and motivated as I felt the Spirit of God rest amongst us. I was most encouraged to watch all of us just enjoy one another and everyone be excited about the upcoming year.
Now for the hard stuff. I feel more alone now than ever before. Carisa has had an EXTREMELY difficult summer...and that comes after a pretty difficult spring and fall. In fact, I would say that the last year has been one of the hardest of her life. (Ironically, it has been one of the hardest for me as well, although in a very different way). Anyway, she has continued to work in full time ministry accomplishing things that would blow your mind, all while raising a wonderful and rambunctious 1 year old, homeshooling an equally wonderful and very strong willed 5 year old, mentoring/supporting/mothering a beautiful and hurting 17 year old girl that isn't even her own, and supporting a very hard working and in demand (but also very supportive and loving) husband. How in the world she survived can only be attributed to the supernatural strength of God. However, it is time for her to rest. So, she is stepping out of all ministry for at least the next 4 months. It is absolutely needed, deserved, and a part of God's plan.
Now, I am alone in everything that I do. I came on staff specifically to work along side Carisa and almost exactly 2 years to the day that I came on staff, Carisa steps down. And now I am alone. Before I go on, I want to make it clear that every role I am taking on in the fall is a role I feel called to. I do NOT feel pushed or manipulated into it, I know God is leading me to it. That doesn't mean I really like it though...
After Carisa made her announcement (and my heart broke for her), I immediately told God I would not take over her job as leader of Kids Club. I have said that before (you can actually read it in previous blog posts), but God had another plan in mind (don't ever tell God never...He doesn't like that word, haha). After some discussion it was decided that Denise (a wonderful woman who leads Sunday School and Children's Church) and I would co-lead Kids Club this fall. I also decided that I would take over her Prayer Pals. I decided a while ago that I would not be running after-school in the fall, so that frees up a lot of my time to be able to take on these new responsibilities. I will be helping with teen after-school tutoring, but it isn't a program and I am not in charge of it by myself, so I don't think it will be too bad.
One of the reasons that I wanted Bonita and Linda to come on the staff retreat was so I could feel more connected to the staff. It is a family retreat and I thought if I had somewhat of a family around I wouldn't feel as out of place. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. I actually felt 100% more connected last year when the single people were allowed to be single and the families were allowed to be families. This year most of the conversations were (as usual) about children and families, and I (as usual) had no input. Occasionally conversation would drift to the "old days", of which I was not a part, so I just listened a lot. I enjoyed having Bonita and Linda as a distraction, but I felt very disconnected from the staff.
Another thing that has always kept me connected was Carisa. I am now the only woman on full time, support raised staff at the church. I never wanted that, I don't like that. I know its not PC to say that I don't like God's plan, but I'm just being honest...right now I just don't like it.
I am so frustrated with doing things alone...with being alone...I could just scream. I have been thinking about Joseph for the last few days and wondering what he thought as he sat in prison...time after time. His brothers sell him into slavery but he works his way out of that. Then, when faced with the temptation of lust he runs away, only to be put in jail. Seriously Lord?!? From there he is able to interpret dreams for other people who are in jail with him, and they promise to talk to the Pharaoh for him and get him out of jail. But, they forget and he stays in jail. Are you kidding me God?!? Then, he finally gets out of jail, works really hard, follows God...and is still faced with having to forgive the people that caused him all that hardship in the first place. For the Love!!! I know Joseph stayed faithful, trusted God and followed Him every step of the way...but he couldn't have been happy about everything that happened to him, right?
Throughout every good and bad thing that happened to Joseph, the Word says that God was with him, there was never a doubt that God was in the midst of everything that Joseph faced. Joseph was in prison for 2 years before the cup bearer that promised to get him out of jail remembered his promise. Do you think there was ever a time when Joseph got frustrated? I believe that Joseph trusted completely in God's plan and ultimately desired for God's will to be done in his life...but was he always happy with the direction God was taking him?
I am not. I 100% trust in God's plan, will follow God's plan and in the deepest part of my heart I desire this over anything else that I could be given. If given the choice between God's plan for my life (no matter how difficult), or an easier road where I might know God but not experience Him the way I do now...I would ABSOLUTELY choose the road I am on. Still...I'm not always happy about the direction that road takes me. I don't like where I have to walk right now...I especially don't like that I have to walk it alone. I hate that I am walking it alone.
Joseph had a dream when he was young where he saw his brothers bowing down before him. He knew how his story would end, or at least he had an idea. I don't know if he remembered the dream his whole life, but God told him from the very beginning how his story would end. I don't know how my story will end...I like knowing the ending. I am the girl that reads the last chapter of the book to decide if the book is worth reading. If I don't like the ending, I won't read the book. Life is a challenge for me.
I have also been thinking about Hosea. He was commanded by God to love and be faithful to a women who would not do the same for him. Time and time again the wife that Hosea loved would leave him for other men. How could Hosea accept such a thing?!? That was God's plan for him!!! Hosea and Joseph were so much more faithful than I will ever be...
I am excited about the challenges that I will face in the upcoming year. I am especially excited that I know this is completely from God. Every challenge I have ever faced has brought me closer to God and burned away more of my flesh and made me more like Him...and Lord knows (as do all of you), I have plenty of flesh left to burn away. A ridiculous amount in fact. I LOVE that God does that. I don't like how He does it.
You will probably laugh at me in a few months...no matter how wonderful or challenging (or both) this fall is, I KNOW that God will be all up in that (haha) and I will not regret a second of it. That's the way the last 5 years have been (okay, the last 27 years) and I have no reason to think this will be different. God is good. All the time.
"Who is wise? He will realize these things. Who is discerning? He will understand them. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them." ~Hosea 14:9
Lord, please don't let me stumble!!!!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
So much to say...so little time!
I'm home!! At least for the next 16 hours...
How to sum up the mission trip...it was the hardest trip we have had yet, but it was the best. There were SO many ups and downs, but overall it was amazing. And personally, I feel really great! This is the first time I have come back from a mission trip feeling excited and happy with myself. I was far from perfect on this trip, but I learned a lot, feel like I have grown a lot and I am excited to see where God is going to take the teens now that we are back. Thank you Jesus!!!
I am trying to think of the best way to share everything and I feel like I am going to be all over the place. I'm going to try though! I'm not going to go day by day, I'll go activity by activity.
First, you have to know that the trip consisted of 18 teens...14 guys and 4 girls. The leadership consisted of 4 guys and 2 girls and a couple that came as our cooks for the week (and were an INCREDIBLE blessing!). Each of the leaders had a team of teens that they worked with for the week. Since there were only 6 girls total (including leaders) we were our own team. I was a bit worried about that at first, but it turned out to be AMAZING!! We had almost no issues with the girls all week and they blew me away with their joy, love, enthusiasm and servants hearts. This was the hottest week of the year and there was NOT A SINGLE complaint from the girls, even when we had kitchen duty on the biggest cooking day of the week. They were SO GREAT!!! All week everyone commented on how amazing they were...what a blessing!
We spent our mornings doing work projects around the church, and everyone worked SO hard! We got a ton of projects done around the church and for the most part we had little complaining. (We have some younger teens that caused some problems, but the older ones were great at encouraging them toward the right attitude).
At 11 every day several teams (we rotated each day) went to host "PrimeTime", and hour of fun pouring into kids that were specifically invited. The first day we had about 10 kids, but by Thursday we had 25! During that hour we taught the kids how to juggle (which I actually learned to do by the end of the week!), make balloon animals, stack cups (I hold the record for the fasted 6 stack!), and learn the miachi, which is kind of like hacky sack (I never got that down at all). The kids that came were a lot younger than we expected, but they had fun hanging out with us even if they didn't quite get what we were trying to teach them.
At 12 the PrimeTime kids ate lunch with us and then came to VBS at 1. Other kids came to VBS as well and while we had a small crowd on Tuesday, we were up to over 30 kids by Thursday. I have to say that VBS was one of the biggest highlights of the week for me. The teens BLEW ME AWAY with how they ran things. The volunteered to be in charge of different parts of VBS (leading songs, doing the bible story, the memory verse, crafts, games, name tags, and so on) and each part was INCREDIBLE! And, they got better every day!! The skits were creative and very well thought out and performed, the song leaders were amazingly enthusiastic, the memory verse team was fun, creative and very clear in their explanations of the verses, the crafts went great and the game guys were so creative with their games!! All of the leaders were SO IMPRESSED! Thursday was the biggest day where we presented the gospel and gave and invitation to the kids and it was by far the best day of VBS. We really encouraged the teens to dig deep and give it their all, and they gave even more than that. It was...indescribable.
Since our days went from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. non stop every day we spent most evenings showering and hanging out and then doing some worship and devotions at night. One night we decided to head to the park to do some outreach and a lot of the teens had some good conversations with some guys from the neighborhood. Basketball seems to be a great ministry tool! The guys ended up playing basketball several times this week after VBS and before dinner, but that was the girls' scheduled shower time so I didn't see any of it, but I heard a lot about it. It was really nice to have that time with just the girls at the church, and it was even nicer to get to shower after sweating all day, haha.
Friday we hosted a big block party, which we had done last year as well. Last year's block party was a huge success, but this year was even better!!! We took our time in the morning (we were all pretty tired from the week), but at 1:30 we kicked into high gear and didn't stop until the party was over around 7:00. While many of us were taking it easy in the morning, several of the guys volunteered to go on the roof and silver coat it before the block party. It was over 100 degrees outside and apparently silver coating is pretty intense work, but all of the guys came off the roof with smiles on their faces and excited for the rest of the day. I'm telling you, some of these guys just blew me away!!!
Okay, so the block party was a lot of fun and a huge success. Tons of people from the neighborhood came out and had a blast. We had carnival games with prizes, a dunk tank, 2 moon bounces, music and a clear Gospel presentation. I was again blown away by the servants' hearts that these teens have. Even the ones that were giving us some problems throughout the week always pulled it together for VBS and the block party. God is so amazing!
Saturday was our day off and we surprised the teens with a trip to Kings Dominion (an amusement park). We decided to let them free in the park without having to have a leader with them, which ended up leaving several us leaders together throughout the day without many teens...and I personally had a blast!!! We got there at 11, went in and rode some ride and then met up outside the park at 12:30 for lunch. I started the day with Andy, Joy and some of my favorite teens (several of the girls, Q and E). One of them, E, had promised to ride a roller coaster with me so we decided to start with the flight of fear. It sounds much scarier than it is and was a good coaster to start with. E loved it and then we headed to the Volcano, the best ride at Kings Dominion. E was extremely nervous to get on the ride but afterward yelled, "I love roller coasters!". The line for the Volcano made us a bit late for lunch, but not too bad. After lunch I ended up with Joy, J, Frank and 2 of the girl teens. Most of the rest of our group wanted to spend a good amount of time in the water park while we wanted to ride roller coasters. Brooke also came up for the day along with several of my friends from my home church and I got to spend most of the day with them as well. It was SO GREAT!!! I really enjoyed the day and especially the people I got to spend it with. We all met up at 6:30 to go home and it sounds like everyone had a blast. We were pretty exhausted though.
We headed back to the church, ate dinner, had some free time and then started our evening worship. We were all SO exhausted by the time worship started and none of us were sure how it would go. J was pretty much done by that point (he worked so hard all week...he and Frank are often in charge of things that no one else can do and while they handle it well, I know it can't be easy), but the Spirit of God completely took over. We ended up praying and worshipping for quite a while and even took communion together which was really powerful. We didn't get to bed until well after midnight and had to get up at 7:30 a.m. to pack up and get ready for church. I am so impressed with the teens that pushed through and let God lead them last night!
So, today was our final day. We led the church's worship service and had a ton of kids from VBS show up to say goodbye, which was amazing. We headed out around 1:30, but because of traffic got home around 7.
Okay, so my overall thoughts from the week...there were some teens that I was hugely disappointed with. Some of them really showed their true colors and they turned out not to be who I thought they were, and it broke my heart. I really struggled with this at times throughout the week (not only because they were causing some problems with the other teens but also because I love them and it was hard to see their hearts so hardened). However, J and I had a conversation one night where God showed me that as hard as it is to see these teens struggle, I am glad that our eyes have been opened. I think God showed us these struggles so that we can help these teens grow through them. It wouldn't do them any good for us to be deceived. We have been enlightened to their struggles and we are going to help them push through those.
On the other side, there were some teens that just blew me away. L, the youngest girl on the trip, was almost unrecognizable. Last year on the mission trip we could barely get her to talk in public and this year she was running around at VBS as a superhero and sharing at church about Jesus being the only way to heaven. She was awesome!! E, one of the older guys, was a joy to be around all week and served exactly how I picture Christ did. He was always smiling, always encouraging and worshipping every night with all of his heart. He was a highlight for all of us.
Then there is L and M (both girls), cousins who are usually not so much fun to be around. L tends to complain (a lot) and M seems to be negative, a lot. Not on this trip!!! L didn't complain once and M was always smiling, happy and serving without complaint. I LOVED being around them all week!!!!! L even hurt her ankle on Wednesday night and was limping for several days but still participated in everything, and smiled and laughed through all of it. M had to go to the hospital in Friday night because of an asthma attack, but kept smiling and laughing through it all...and she didn't complain at all either!
And then there is the leadership team. Its pretty much the same team we have on all the trips, but this year was by far the best for us. I felt unified with them and supported by them every step of the way. Since most of them were guys, they had to deal with a lot of the issues we faced throughout the week and I am still in awe of the patience, love, and understanding they all displayed while still being firm and doing what needed to be done. J and Frank especially went way beyond what they thought they were capable of and really let God use them incredibly all week. It was also a huge blessing to have Joy with us this year. I was a little worried about having 2 female leaders for only 4 girls, but Joy's incredible humility and servant's heart made the trip so amazing for me. She really freed me up to be able to do what I needed to without feeling overwhelmed. This was probably the hardest year to be a leader in terms of the issues we faced with the teens, but the best year we have had as a leadership team.
I am pretty sure this was Frank's last year leading the trip and I honestly don't know if we will have one next year. He has been AMAZING at planning, organizing and leading the trips each year and I just can't imagine anyone being able to accomplish the things that he has done. We'll see what happens, but I am not ready to think about trying to do this without him...unless maybe Carisa comes along, haha.
Now I am off to the laundromat to wash my clothes and get packed for staff retreat. We leave tomorrow at noon and I will get back on Wednesday just in time for Prayer Pals. I am pretty excited about staff retreat, mostly because Bonita and Linda are coming, but I am also looking forward to Thursday. I plan on relaxing all day and cleaning my house (I sort of trashed it while packing for the mission trip...and it was really clean to begin with, haha). So, you won't hear from me again for a while. I miss Gizmo! :)
(for some reason I am having a hard time adding pictures to this post right now, so I will try again later!)
How to sum up the mission trip...it was the hardest trip we have had yet, but it was the best. There were SO many ups and downs, but overall it was amazing. And personally, I feel really great! This is the first time I have come back from a mission trip feeling excited and happy with myself. I was far from perfect on this trip, but I learned a lot, feel like I have grown a lot and I am excited to see where God is going to take the teens now that we are back. Thank you Jesus!!!
I am trying to think of the best way to share everything and I feel like I am going to be all over the place. I'm going to try though! I'm not going to go day by day, I'll go activity by activity.
First, you have to know that the trip consisted of 18 teens...14 guys and 4 girls. The leadership consisted of 4 guys and 2 girls and a couple that came as our cooks for the week (and were an INCREDIBLE blessing!). Each of the leaders had a team of teens that they worked with for the week. Since there were only 6 girls total (including leaders) we were our own team. I was a bit worried about that at first, but it turned out to be AMAZING!! We had almost no issues with the girls all week and they blew me away with their joy, love, enthusiasm and servants hearts. This was the hottest week of the year and there was NOT A SINGLE complaint from the girls, even when we had kitchen duty on the biggest cooking day of the week. They were SO GREAT!!! All week everyone commented on how amazing they were...what a blessing!
We spent our mornings doing work projects around the church, and everyone worked SO hard! We got a ton of projects done around the church and for the most part we had little complaining. (We have some younger teens that caused some problems, but the older ones were great at encouraging them toward the right attitude).
At 11 every day several teams (we rotated each day) went to host "PrimeTime", and hour of fun pouring into kids that were specifically invited. The first day we had about 10 kids, but by Thursday we had 25! During that hour we taught the kids how to juggle (which I actually learned to do by the end of the week!), make balloon animals, stack cups (I hold the record for the fasted 6 stack!), and learn the miachi, which is kind of like hacky sack (I never got that down at all). The kids that came were a lot younger than we expected, but they had fun hanging out with us even if they didn't quite get what we were trying to teach them.
At 12 the PrimeTime kids ate lunch with us and then came to VBS at 1. Other kids came to VBS as well and while we had a small crowd on Tuesday, we were up to over 30 kids by Thursday. I have to say that VBS was one of the biggest highlights of the week for me. The teens BLEW ME AWAY with how they ran things. The volunteered to be in charge of different parts of VBS (leading songs, doing the bible story, the memory verse, crafts, games, name tags, and so on) and each part was INCREDIBLE! And, they got better every day!! The skits were creative and very well thought out and performed, the song leaders were amazingly enthusiastic, the memory verse team was fun, creative and very clear in their explanations of the verses, the crafts went great and the game guys were so creative with their games!! All of the leaders were SO IMPRESSED! Thursday was the biggest day where we presented the gospel and gave and invitation to the kids and it was by far the best day of VBS. We really encouraged the teens to dig deep and give it their all, and they gave even more than that. It was...indescribable.
Since our days went from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. non stop every day we spent most evenings showering and hanging out and then doing some worship and devotions at night. One night we decided to head to the park to do some outreach and a lot of the teens had some good conversations with some guys from the neighborhood. Basketball seems to be a great ministry tool! The guys ended up playing basketball several times this week after VBS and before dinner, but that was the girls' scheduled shower time so I didn't see any of it, but I heard a lot about it. It was really nice to have that time with just the girls at the church, and it was even nicer to get to shower after sweating all day, haha.
Friday we hosted a big block party, which we had done last year as well. Last year's block party was a huge success, but this year was even better!!! We took our time in the morning (we were all pretty tired from the week), but at 1:30 we kicked into high gear and didn't stop until the party was over around 7:00. While many of us were taking it easy in the morning, several of the guys volunteered to go on the roof and silver coat it before the block party. It was over 100 degrees outside and apparently silver coating is pretty intense work, but all of the guys came off the roof with smiles on their faces and excited for the rest of the day. I'm telling you, some of these guys just blew me away!!!
Okay, so the block party was a lot of fun and a huge success. Tons of people from the neighborhood came out and had a blast. We had carnival games with prizes, a dunk tank, 2 moon bounces, music and a clear Gospel presentation. I was again blown away by the servants' hearts that these teens have. Even the ones that were giving us some problems throughout the week always pulled it together for VBS and the block party. God is so amazing!
Saturday was our day off and we surprised the teens with a trip to Kings Dominion (an amusement park). We decided to let them free in the park without having to have a leader with them, which ended up leaving several us leaders together throughout the day without many teens...and I personally had a blast!!! We got there at 11, went in and rode some ride and then met up outside the park at 12:30 for lunch. I started the day with Andy, Joy and some of my favorite teens (several of the girls, Q and E). One of them, E, had promised to ride a roller coaster with me so we decided to start with the flight of fear. It sounds much scarier than it is and was a good coaster to start with. E loved it and then we headed to the Volcano, the best ride at Kings Dominion. E was extremely nervous to get on the ride but afterward yelled, "I love roller coasters!". The line for the Volcano made us a bit late for lunch, but not too bad. After lunch I ended up with Joy, J, Frank and 2 of the girl teens. Most of the rest of our group wanted to spend a good amount of time in the water park while we wanted to ride roller coasters. Brooke also came up for the day along with several of my friends from my home church and I got to spend most of the day with them as well. It was SO GREAT!!! I really enjoyed the day and especially the people I got to spend it with. We all met up at 6:30 to go home and it sounds like everyone had a blast. We were pretty exhausted though.
We headed back to the church, ate dinner, had some free time and then started our evening worship. We were all SO exhausted by the time worship started and none of us were sure how it would go. J was pretty much done by that point (he worked so hard all week...he and Frank are often in charge of things that no one else can do and while they handle it well, I know it can't be easy), but the Spirit of God completely took over. We ended up praying and worshipping for quite a while and even took communion together which was really powerful. We didn't get to bed until well after midnight and had to get up at 7:30 a.m. to pack up and get ready for church. I am so impressed with the teens that pushed through and let God lead them last night!
So, today was our final day. We led the church's worship service and had a ton of kids from VBS show up to say goodbye, which was amazing. We headed out around 1:30, but because of traffic got home around 7.
Okay, so my overall thoughts from the week...there were some teens that I was hugely disappointed with. Some of them really showed their true colors and they turned out not to be who I thought they were, and it broke my heart. I really struggled with this at times throughout the week (not only because they were causing some problems with the other teens but also because I love them and it was hard to see their hearts so hardened). However, J and I had a conversation one night where God showed me that as hard as it is to see these teens struggle, I am glad that our eyes have been opened. I think God showed us these struggles so that we can help these teens grow through them. It wouldn't do them any good for us to be deceived. We have been enlightened to their struggles and we are going to help them push through those.
On the other side, there were some teens that just blew me away. L, the youngest girl on the trip, was almost unrecognizable. Last year on the mission trip we could barely get her to talk in public and this year she was running around at VBS as a superhero and sharing at church about Jesus being the only way to heaven. She was awesome!! E, one of the older guys, was a joy to be around all week and served exactly how I picture Christ did. He was always smiling, always encouraging and worshipping every night with all of his heart. He was a highlight for all of us.
Then there is L and M (both girls), cousins who are usually not so much fun to be around. L tends to complain (a lot) and M seems to be negative, a lot. Not on this trip!!! L didn't complain once and M was always smiling, happy and serving without complaint. I LOVED being around them all week!!!!! L even hurt her ankle on Wednesday night and was limping for several days but still participated in everything, and smiled and laughed through all of it. M had to go to the hospital in Friday night because of an asthma attack, but kept smiling and laughing through it all...and she didn't complain at all either!
And then there is the leadership team. Its pretty much the same team we have on all the trips, but this year was by far the best for us. I felt unified with them and supported by them every step of the way. Since most of them were guys, they had to deal with a lot of the issues we faced throughout the week and I am still in awe of the patience, love, and understanding they all displayed while still being firm and doing what needed to be done. J and Frank especially went way beyond what they thought they were capable of and really let God use them incredibly all week. It was also a huge blessing to have Joy with us this year. I was a little worried about having 2 female leaders for only 4 girls, but Joy's incredible humility and servant's heart made the trip so amazing for me. She really freed me up to be able to do what I needed to without feeling overwhelmed. This was probably the hardest year to be a leader in terms of the issues we faced with the teens, but the best year we have had as a leadership team.
I am pretty sure this was Frank's last year leading the trip and I honestly don't know if we will have one next year. He has been AMAZING at planning, organizing and leading the trips each year and I just can't imagine anyone being able to accomplish the things that he has done. We'll see what happens, but I am not ready to think about trying to do this without him...unless maybe Carisa comes along, haha.
Now I am off to the laundromat to wash my clothes and get packed for staff retreat. We leave tomorrow at noon and I will get back on Wednesday just in time for Prayer Pals. I am pretty excited about staff retreat, mostly because Bonita and Linda are coming, but I am also looking forward to Thursday. I plan on relaxing all day and cleaning my house (I sort of trashed it while packing for the mission trip...and it was really clean to begin with, haha). So, you won't hear from me again for a while. I miss Gizmo! :)
(for some reason I am having a hard time adding pictures to this post right now, so I will try again later!)
Monday, August 20, 2007
Off to VA!!
Well, last night's mission trip meeting went MUCH better than last week's, so we are going on the mission trip!! Actually, there was never really any danger of it being cancelled, that was all just dreaming on my part, haha. After last night, though, I am actually excited to be going!!
Yesterday was an insane day. I went to Sunday School and then church, dropped the kids off at home, went shopping for VBS, immediately picked the girls back up and headed to T's birthday party. T just turned 13 and she is one of my favorite God's Girls of all time (besides Bonita and Linda of course, haha). I am SO excited that she is a teen now and will be coming to God Squad and all the fun stuff we do with teens. Her party was actually really fun and all the people she invited were God's Girls! I asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she said a day hanging out with me, so we're going out for a fun day (doing what? I have no idea!) when I get back from the mission trip and staff retreat.
So, after the birthday party I headed immediately to a leaders' meeting for the mission trip and then our final group meeting (dropping the girls off in the in between, whew!). The meeting started rocky, but only for me because I am a control freak that overreacts to small upsets. Thankfully, God checked my attitude quickly and I was able to enjoy the rest of the meeting. The teens were on task, very prepared and excited for the trip and almost all 18 of them prayed out loud at our closing prayer. I really think this is going to be an amazing trip!!!
We only have 4 teen girls going and I am really excited to pour into them. We have already talked about all the younger girls that will be teens this time next year and we are praying that God will prepare them to step up as leaders and mentors over the younger girls. I'm excited to see God move in these young women this week!
Okay, I need to go to my final packing. I have, unfortunately, left my house much messier than I had planned but I'm trying to make myself okay with it. :) I can clean when I get back...
Yesterday was an insane day. I went to Sunday School and then church, dropped the kids off at home, went shopping for VBS, immediately picked the girls back up and headed to T's birthday party. T just turned 13 and she is one of my favorite God's Girls of all time (besides Bonita and Linda of course, haha). I am SO excited that she is a teen now and will be coming to God Squad and all the fun stuff we do with teens. Her party was actually really fun and all the people she invited were God's Girls! I asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she said a day hanging out with me, so we're going out for a fun day (doing what? I have no idea!) when I get back from the mission trip and staff retreat.
So, after the birthday party I headed immediately to a leaders' meeting for the mission trip and then our final group meeting (dropping the girls off in the in between, whew!). The meeting started rocky, but only for me because I am a control freak that overreacts to small upsets. Thankfully, God checked my attitude quickly and I was able to enjoy the rest of the meeting. The teens were on task, very prepared and excited for the trip and almost all 18 of them prayed out loud at our closing prayer. I really think this is going to be an amazing trip!!!
We only have 4 teen girls going and I am really excited to pour into them. We have already talked about all the younger girls that will be teens this time next year and we are praying that God will prepare them to step up as leaders and mentors over the younger girls. I'm excited to see God move in these young women this week!
Okay, I need to go to my final packing. I have, unfortunately, left my house much messier than I had planned but I'm trying to make myself okay with it. :) I can clean when I get back...
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Back in Philly
Its almost midnight and I am wide awake listening to my neighbors excruciatingly loud music (they have 3 small children, not sure how they are sleeping) and their dog bark and whine in the backyard. Ugh.
I just got back from a few days visiting my parents in VA and NC and this is one of the few times that I'm actually not that excited to be back in Philly. Last Monday we had a meeting for the upcoming teen mission trip and it was less than encouraging. In fact, it involved a lot of complaining from the teens and I left feeling very discouraged. On Tuesday I headed to VA to visit my mom, which turned out to be a very relaxing time. On Thursday morning my mom and I headed to NC to see my dad. (In case you didn't know, my dad is the new chief of police in Washington, NC. He has been there since July 1, but my mom has stayed in VA to try and sell the house there. My mom will be moving to NC with my dad in a few weeks, thank goodness!!). I completely fell in love with Washington and I am so excited about going back there to visit, its so beautiful and relaxing!!! Its a pretty small town right on a river and only 45 minutes from the ocean. I can take night walks along the river and not be afraid!!!
My time in VA and NC was so nice and relaxing and I wanted more of it!! I got back to Philly last night but didn't tell anyone and enjoyed a day alone here in Philly. It was a BEAUTIFUL day here, which almost made me forget where I live. Almost being the operative word there...my phone rang off the hook with people calling me needing one thing or another and only one asking how I was doing.
We leave for the mission trip on Monday and I have a lot to do to get ready, and not a lot of time. I should have spent today getting things done, but I chose to rest, sleep and read. I don't regret that, but I might feel differently tomorrow. :) Tomorrow will be a pretty full day with Sunday School, church, a birthday party, shopping for everything I need for the mission trip and then our final mission team meeting. I am really hoping tomorrow night goes better than last week. If it doesn't we might just cancel the trip. I don't think I would be opposed to that...
Bonita and Linda continue to be a beautiful light for me. I just can't believe how wonderful they are! I come back from the mission trip next Sunday and then leave on Monday for the Cornerstone staff retreat. Its usually a really good time, but it is designed to be a family retreat, which is not very fun for me since I don't have a family. Last year I asked if it would be okay for me to bring Linda and Bonita with me this year. Everyone agreed that it would be fine and I am SO excited to have them along. I almost NEVER get to hang out with just the two of them, and this is my chance!!! We are all very excited!! Plus, it looks like the girls might help babysit some of the staff kids while we are in meetings. I am just so impressed that at 11 and 12 they have shown enough maturity for them to not only be allowed to come along even though they aren't my actual children, but that they are trusted as babysitters. Incidentally, they are both wonderful with kids. I am still so impressed with how wonderful Bonita was at God's Girls, she really seems to "get it".
Awww, the music stopped for a little while, but it just started again. Oh well, I think I will be able to sleep through it. Anyway, I have a pretty busy few weeks coming up. I will be in Philly for about a week after returning from staff retreat on August 29th and the only things on my agenda are back to school shopping with the kids and cleaning my house. I do have some preparing to do for Kids Club and other things, but nothing hugely pressing, although I doubt I will ever find myself bored. On Sept. 6th I am heading back to NC to relax with my parents until the 11th. I am driving back to Philly on the 11th only to fly out again on the 12th for AIM's staff conference. (Ironically, the staff conference is in NC, but its the other side of the state and all of the flights included layovers in Philadelphia! So, to save money I'm driving back here and then just flying from here). I will be back on Sept. 15th and will start working part time for AIM as well as full time for Cornerstone on the 17th. I wonder what it will be like to pay all my bills on time... :)
I just got back from a few days visiting my parents in VA and NC and this is one of the few times that I'm actually not that excited to be back in Philly. Last Monday we had a meeting for the upcoming teen mission trip and it was less than encouraging. In fact, it involved a lot of complaining from the teens and I left feeling very discouraged. On Tuesday I headed to VA to visit my mom, which turned out to be a very relaxing time. On Thursday morning my mom and I headed to NC to see my dad. (In case you didn't know, my dad is the new chief of police in Washington, NC. He has been there since July 1, but my mom has stayed in VA to try and sell the house there. My mom will be moving to NC with my dad in a few weeks, thank goodness!!). I completely fell in love with Washington and I am so excited about going back there to visit, its so beautiful and relaxing!!! Its a pretty small town right on a river and only 45 minutes from the ocean. I can take night walks along the river and not be afraid!!!
My time in VA and NC was so nice and relaxing and I wanted more of it!! I got back to Philly last night but didn't tell anyone and enjoyed a day alone here in Philly. It was a BEAUTIFUL day here, which almost made me forget where I live. Almost being the operative word there...my phone rang off the hook with people calling me needing one thing or another and only one asking how I was doing.
We leave for the mission trip on Monday and I have a lot to do to get ready, and not a lot of time. I should have spent today getting things done, but I chose to rest, sleep and read. I don't regret that, but I might feel differently tomorrow. :) Tomorrow will be a pretty full day with Sunday School, church, a birthday party, shopping for everything I need for the mission trip and then our final mission team meeting. I am really hoping tomorrow night goes better than last week. If it doesn't we might just cancel the trip. I don't think I would be opposed to that...
Bonita and Linda continue to be a beautiful light for me. I just can't believe how wonderful they are! I come back from the mission trip next Sunday and then leave on Monday for the Cornerstone staff retreat. Its usually a really good time, but it is designed to be a family retreat, which is not very fun for me since I don't have a family. Last year I asked if it would be okay for me to bring Linda and Bonita with me this year. Everyone agreed that it would be fine and I am SO excited to have them along. I almost NEVER get to hang out with just the two of them, and this is my chance!!! We are all very excited!! Plus, it looks like the girls might help babysit some of the staff kids while we are in meetings. I am just so impressed that at 11 and 12 they have shown enough maturity for them to not only be allowed to come along even though they aren't my actual children, but that they are trusted as babysitters. Incidentally, they are both wonderful with kids. I am still so impressed with how wonderful Bonita was at God's Girls, she really seems to "get it".
Awww, the music stopped for a little while, but it just started again. Oh well, I think I will be able to sleep through it. Anyway, I have a pretty busy few weeks coming up. I will be in Philly for about a week after returning from staff retreat on August 29th and the only things on my agenda are back to school shopping with the kids and cleaning my house. I do have some preparing to do for Kids Club and other things, but nothing hugely pressing, although I doubt I will ever find myself bored. On Sept. 6th I am heading back to NC to relax with my parents until the 11th. I am driving back to Philly on the 11th only to fly out again on the 12th for AIM's staff conference. (Ironically, the staff conference is in NC, but its the other side of the state and all of the flights included layovers in Philadelphia! So, to save money I'm driving back here and then just flying from here). I will be back on Sept. 15th and will start working part time for AIM as well as full time for Cornerstone on the 17th. I wonder what it will be like to pay all my bills on time... :)
Monday, August 13, 2007
It's Hard...
Its really hard to be a woman in ministry. I would also venture to say that it is even more difficult to be a single woman in ministry, but since I have never been a married woman in ministry, I can't really compare. What I can say, though, is that it is hard to be a woman in full time ministry.
It is especially difficult when 90% of your co-workers are men. It doesn't matter how hard you work or how "qualified" you are, you are still second to a guy in most circumstances. I work with one guy who is 4 years younger than me and has only been in full time ministry for 2 years, but he gets much more respect than I do and is often given the benefit of the doubt in situations that I am called to account for.
There are several women on staff at church and they are all amazing. They are all moms yet they do incredible ministry outside their homes as well. They understand where I am coming from, to a point. But they all have men in their corner backing them up. I do not.
It doesn't help that I work with teens...as a part of a leadership team that consists of 4 men and me. It is natural that they would have a camaraderie that I am not a part of. It makes sense that a lot of the work that I do would go unnoticed. It's no ones fault, but that doesn't make it easy.
Our teen ministry also consists of mostly guys. In fact, we only have 4 girls going on the mission trip, as compared to 13 guys. Its hard for me to get respect, its easier for them to just ignore me. And they do. Its hard for my male coworkers to understand how difficult this is for me. I don't expect them to, but that doesn't make it easy.
I work extremely hard. I do a majority of that work alone and behind the scenes. I spend a lot of time with kids and teens that no one sees. I spend a lot of time doing a lot of things that no one sees, either because I'm not in their sight or they just aren't paying attention.
Little things start to pile up, and they make the big things even bigger in my mind. Someone offers me a new set of couches and then the offer is rescinded when a guy friend decides he wants them. I ask to talk to a friend about some decisions I need to make about my ministry and the request is ignored. A guy friend shows up at my door, banging on it until I awaken to let him in (he needed to get something from me but I was taking a nap...he banged on the door for 10 minutes to wake me up), and then I am accused of overreacting when I ask him to never do that again.
I know I am not the only one struggling with this. I talked recently with a friend who experiences the exact same thing at her church. She does just as much work as her male counterparts, but they are heralded as gifts from God, while she is given a never-ending list of things she needs to correct. We understand each other so well.
I don't think all of this would bother me as much if I also didn't feel constantly at the mercy of the men around me. I don't make enough money and often need their help to get paid. I can't fix things that break in my house and am constantly dependant on their generosity. The amazing thing is, they are EXTREMELY generous. I do not work with self centered chauvinist pigs. I work with incredibly wonderful men of God. Most of the things that I struggle with are simply a result of the differences between men and women. Some changes do need to be made, but a lot of it is just the way things are. I'm a woman. They will never get that. And that makes it hard.
It is especially difficult when 90% of your co-workers are men. It doesn't matter how hard you work or how "qualified" you are, you are still second to a guy in most circumstances. I work with one guy who is 4 years younger than me and has only been in full time ministry for 2 years, but he gets much more respect than I do and is often given the benefit of the doubt in situations that I am called to account for.
There are several women on staff at church and they are all amazing. They are all moms yet they do incredible ministry outside their homes as well. They understand where I am coming from, to a point. But they all have men in their corner backing them up. I do not.
It doesn't help that I work with teens...as a part of a leadership team that consists of 4 men and me. It is natural that they would have a camaraderie that I am not a part of. It makes sense that a lot of the work that I do would go unnoticed. It's no ones fault, but that doesn't make it easy.
Our teen ministry also consists of mostly guys. In fact, we only have 4 girls going on the mission trip, as compared to 13 guys. Its hard for me to get respect, its easier for them to just ignore me. And they do. Its hard for my male coworkers to understand how difficult this is for me. I don't expect them to, but that doesn't make it easy.
I work extremely hard. I do a majority of that work alone and behind the scenes. I spend a lot of time with kids and teens that no one sees. I spend a lot of time doing a lot of things that no one sees, either because I'm not in their sight or they just aren't paying attention.
Little things start to pile up, and they make the big things even bigger in my mind. Someone offers me a new set of couches and then the offer is rescinded when a guy friend decides he wants them. I ask to talk to a friend about some decisions I need to make about my ministry and the request is ignored. A guy friend shows up at my door, banging on it until I awaken to let him in (he needed to get something from me but I was taking a nap...he banged on the door for 10 minutes to wake me up), and then I am accused of overreacting when I ask him to never do that again.
I know I am not the only one struggling with this. I talked recently with a friend who experiences the exact same thing at her church. She does just as much work as her male counterparts, but they are heralded as gifts from God, while she is given a never-ending list of things she needs to correct. We understand each other so well.
I don't think all of this would bother me as much if I also didn't feel constantly at the mercy of the men around me. I don't make enough money and often need their help to get paid. I can't fix things that break in my house and am constantly dependant on their generosity. The amazing thing is, they are EXTREMELY generous. I do not work with self centered chauvinist pigs. I work with incredibly wonderful men of God. Most of the things that I struggle with are simply a result of the differences between men and women. Some changes do need to be made, but a lot of it is just the way things are. I'm a woman. They will never get that. And that makes it hard.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
A Very Full Week
SO much has happened this week! I am absolutely exhausted and so excited to get to bed tonight, but I wanted to update on everything before I sleep. Here are the highlights:
First, I co-led an AIM trip this week. I was dreading it and wasn't sure if I would be able to really pour into the teams the way that I wanted to. As it turns out, it was an amazing week!! I even got to do a talk one night with the girls on both teams about being a woman of God. We had a lot of questions about dress code throughout the week and one of the leaders heard about God's Girls and asked if I would talk to his girls about the beauty and modesty part. I was extremely nervous about it, but it went AMAZINGLY!!! After the talk I had several girls come and tell me that they had never heard what I was telling them and they were so excited. All of the girls from one team immediately made plans to go shopping together to buy modest clothing! One girl and I had a great conversation about being beautiful and she confessed struggling with an eating disorder. We talked and prayed together and it was awesome!!! One of teams was an from an inner city in Toronto and the teens reminded me so much of my teens at Cornerstone. I really enjoyed working with them and their leaders were amazing. I am praying about the possibility of taking Cornerstone teens to their church in Canada next year!!
This week we also had the Reading Rocks party! We had over 50 kids participate this year, and most of them came to the party (several were out of town or forgot). The party was a bit of chaos, but overall it was really fun and the kids had a blast!! Each kid got a brand new book bag FILLED with school supplies (because Shannon is incredible and made money multiply through sales like I have never seen before), a school uniform and even new underwear and socks!!! We also played games where the kids won different prizes. Every kid went home very happy. I am VERY proud to say that Bonita was the second highest points earner with 373 points!! I think she could have been first but she was at camp for the entire last week of the program. I am still so proud of her!! Linda earned almost 100 points and got a backpack as well. Pedro and Miguel are still out of town but will get their backpacks when they come home. (Miguel was gone all summer but he absolutely would have participated and earned a ton of points if he had the chance. Pedro was only around for a little bit, but earned enough points to be invited to the party).
Of course, this week was also God's Girls and I can't believe we have finished our 3rd year!! This year was very different, Carisa and I both went into it a lot more scattered than we have in the past, but it all still went VERY well. The entire week was amazing and it all culminated in the annual God's Girls sleepover last night. We had 8 girls participate this year, and of course I LOVED having Bonita there (she was pretty excited about it as well). I feel really good about how everything went, but I have to honestly say that I am relieved it is over. This week tends to be the hardest week of the year for me spiritually, but that wasn't the case this year...Praise God!! I made the conscious choice to ignore the lies of the enemy this year, and it seems to have worked. Whenever I had thoughts come to mind that I knew were not from God, I just ignored them...I didn't try to fight them, I just moved on. I ended the week very tired, but still feeling really good about all that God has done. That's awesome to me!
There were only 2 real hiccups with God's Girls this year. First, last night around 10:30 Frank called Carisa is intense pain from a kidney stone. Carisa had to immediately leave to take him to the emergency room which left me with the girls to finish up the night. We had not finished all of the teaching yet, but thankfully the stuff that was left was mostly my part to teach anyway. (I am SO thankful that Carisa was around for the "sex" talk, I am not ready to give that one any time soon!). We finished the night well and while we definitely missed Carisa (me probably more than anyone), we were fine without her. It took a while to get the girls to sleep, but that's to be expected at a sleepover. :) Carisa finally got back around 6 a.m. and helped get the girls up and home this morning. It was a crazy night! (You can check out the God's Girls Blog and read all about it as well as see great pictures!! The web address is: http://www.godsgirls2007.blogspot.com/)
The only other difficult part of God's Girls this year is probably only known to me and Carisa (and Carisa only because she knows and loves me so much). Every year we have at least 2 amazing Christian guys come and speak to the girls about what a Christian man is looking for in a woman. Our goal with this is to show the girls that Carisa and I aren't the only ones trying to live as godly women, and that good men are seeking godly women. Every year it is a fun time as the guys share and the girls get to ask them questions. This year things were going great until the question was asked, "How old do you want to be when you get married?" Both of these guys are 23 (one is 22 but about to turn 23), so they are still very young, and obviously younger than me (I'm 27). Both of them immediately responded that they wanted to get married and have children before they were 28. One even went as far as to explain that his reasoning was that he didn't want to be too old when he had children.
I was devastated. There is a VERY small possibility that I will be married by 28, but it is very doubtful...and I will certainly not have children by that time. The reason I was devastated was not that I am desperate to get married or that I have any regrets about being single at my age. I was upset because they in effect told these girls, "We just don't want to end up like Trish". They basically just made my ministry 100 times more difficult than it already is. Each year at God's Girls (and honestly with the teen girls as well) I place myself in front of these girls and do my best to show them that the life God has chosen for me is a beautiful one. It is an amazing life full of incredible blessings and above all, it is a life full of Him. I absolutely want to get married someday, but more than that I want God's plan for my life...so I will wait for His timing for my wedding day. I live an extremely uncommon life around here and am often pitied, looked down upon and even made fun of. But, I know I am following God in the choices that I have made, so I make no apologies and have no regrets. However, it is extremely difficult to convince young women that being single at my age is not the end of the world. Those guys just made that even harder.
God is the redeemer and my prayer is that my life will consistently show that. I was telling a friend earlier this week that my prayer is not that I would be proven right, but that God would use my life to prove Himself right. I want my life to be a constant example of His beauty, mercy and love. My prayer is that when I die there will be no discussion about how old I was when I got married, if I even marry at all. My prayer is that my life will be a celebration of His goodness and faithfulness and that someday people will look at me not with pity, but with a stronger desire to know Him, no matter what the cost.
Finally, Cornerstone has a new website with all of our pictures, so you really want to check it out!! You can see tons of pictures from God's Girls, Reading Rocks, Kids Club...pretty much everything! I added the link to the right, so check them all out!! :)
First, I co-led an AIM trip this week. I was dreading it and wasn't sure if I would be able to really pour into the teams the way that I wanted to. As it turns out, it was an amazing week!! I even got to do a talk one night with the girls on both teams about being a woman of God. We had a lot of questions about dress code throughout the week and one of the leaders heard about God's Girls and asked if I would talk to his girls about the beauty and modesty part. I was extremely nervous about it, but it went AMAZINGLY!!! After the talk I had several girls come and tell me that they had never heard what I was telling them and they were so excited. All of the girls from one team immediately made plans to go shopping together to buy modest clothing! One girl and I had a great conversation about being beautiful and she confessed struggling with an eating disorder. We talked and prayed together and it was awesome!!! One of teams was an from an inner city in Toronto and the teens reminded me so much of my teens at Cornerstone. I really enjoyed working with them and their leaders were amazing. I am praying about the possibility of taking Cornerstone teens to their church in Canada next year!!
This week we also had the Reading Rocks party! We had over 50 kids participate this year, and most of them came to the party (several were out of town or forgot). The party was a bit of chaos, but overall it was really fun and the kids had a blast!! Each kid got a brand new book bag FILLED with school supplies (because Shannon is incredible and made money multiply through sales like I have never seen before), a school uniform and even new underwear and socks!!! We also played games where the kids won different prizes. Every kid went home very happy. I am VERY proud to say that Bonita was the second highest points earner with 373 points!! I think she could have been first but she was at camp for the entire last week of the program. I am still so proud of her!! Linda earned almost 100 points and got a backpack as well. Pedro and Miguel are still out of town but will get their backpacks when they come home. (Miguel was gone all summer but he absolutely would have participated and earned a ton of points if he had the chance. Pedro was only around for a little bit, but earned enough points to be invited to the party).
Of course, this week was also God's Girls and I can't believe we have finished our 3rd year!! This year was very different, Carisa and I both went into it a lot more scattered than we have in the past, but it all still went VERY well. The entire week was amazing and it all culminated in the annual God's Girls sleepover last night. We had 8 girls participate this year, and of course I LOVED having Bonita there (she was pretty excited about it as well). I feel really good about how everything went, but I have to honestly say that I am relieved it is over. This week tends to be the hardest week of the year for me spiritually, but that wasn't the case this year...Praise God!! I made the conscious choice to ignore the lies of the enemy this year, and it seems to have worked. Whenever I had thoughts come to mind that I knew were not from God, I just ignored them...I didn't try to fight them, I just moved on. I ended the week very tired, but still feeling really good about all that God has done. That's awesome to me!
There were only 2 real hiccups with God's Girls this year. First, last night around 10:30 Frank called Carisa is intense pain from a kidney stone. Carisa had to immediately leave to take him to the emergency room which left me with the girls to finish up the night. We had not finished all of the teaching yet, but thankfully the stuff that was left was mostly my part to teach anyway. (I am SO thankful that Carisa was around for the "sex" talk, I am not ready to give that one any time soon!). We finished the night well and while we definitely missed Carisa (me probably more than anyone), we were fine without her. It took a while to get the girls to sleep, but that's to be expected at a sleepover. :) Carisa finally got back around 6 a.m. and helped get the girls up and home this morning. It was a crazy night! (You can check out the God's Girls Blog and read all about it as well as see great pictures!! The web address is: http://www.godsgirls2007.blogspot.com/)
The only other difficult part of God's Girls this year is probably only known to me and Carisa (and Carisa only because she knows and loves me so much). Every year we have at least 2 amazing Christian guys come and speak to the girls about what a Christian man is looking for in a woman. Our goal with this is to show the girls that Carisa and I aren't the only ones trying to live as godly women, and that good men are seeking godly women. Every year it is a fun time as the guys share and the girls get to ask them questions. This year things were going great until the question was asked, "How old do you want to be when you get married?" Both of these guys are 23 (one is 22 but about to turn 23), so they are still very young, and obviously younger than me (I'm 27). Both of them immediately responded that they wanted to get married and have children before they were 28. One even went as far as to explain that his reasoning was that he didn't want to be too old when he had children.
I was devastated. There is a VERY small possibility that I will be married by 28, but it is very doubtful...and I will certainly not have children by that time. The reason I was devastated was not that I am desperate to get married or that I have any regrets about being single at my age. I was upset because they in effect told these girls, "We just don't want to end up like Trish". They basically just made my ministry 100 times more difficult than it already is. Each year at God's Girls (and honestly with the teen girls as well) I place myself in front of these girls and do my best to show them that the life God has chosen for me is a beautiful one. It is an amazing life full of incredible blessings and above all, it is a life full of Him. I absolutely want to get married someday, but more than that I want God's plan for my life...so I will wait for His timing for my wedding day. I live an extremely uncommon life around here and am often pitied, looked down upon and even made fun of. But, I know I am following God in the choices that I have made, so I make no apologies and have no regrets. However, it is extremely difficult to convince young women that being single at my age is not the end of the world. Those guys just made that even harder.
God is the redeemer and my prayer is that my life will consistently show that. I was telling a friend earlier this week that my prayer is not that I would be proven right, but that God would use my life to prove Himself right. I want my life to be a constant example of His beauty, mercy and love. My prayer is that when I die there will be no discussion about how old I was when I got married, if I even marry at all. My prayer is that my life will be a celebration of His goodness and faithfulness and that someday people will look at me not with pity, but with a stronger desire to know Him, no matter what the cost.
Finally, Cornerstone has a new website with all of our pictures, so you really want to check it out!! You can see tons of pictures from God's Girls, Reading Rocks, Kids Club...pretty much everything! I added the link to the right, so check them all out!! :)
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
And now...
Pictures of my house!!! I had an AIM group over today and they cleaned my basement for me. My house is still messy, but its to the point where I will probably only have to spend a day cleaning, not all weekend. Yay!! So, there might be a bit of a mess in some of the pictures, but you get the idea. Its SO beautiful to me!!! :)
We haven't gotten to painting yet, which is actually a good thing because I need my mom's help to pick out a color. :) The ceiling isn't finished yet either, so stay tuned for that in the coming months. I'm so excited!
I don't have time to do before and after pictures right now, so here are a bunch of the after pictures!
How beautiful are those floors?!?!?
And the surprise they left me was this beautiful mural in the basement...this is actually one of my basement walls!
If you look really close, you can see the girl is wearing a VT tank top...I think its supposed to be Bonita or Linda, but I'm not sure...
So, everything is still a work in progress, but I am so excited about where we are! Next, the bathroom! :)Monday, August 6, 2007
You will have to wait...
Okay, so you are going to have to wait a little bit longer for the pictures of my house, sorry! The group left on Saturday and they did an amazing job, but they also left a HUGE mess behind (I don't think the word huge accurately describes the enormity of the mess that is now my house). I am NOT complaining and don't mind cleaning the mess...I just don't have time right now. So, until I can get to the cleaning (hopefully this weekend), you will have to wait for the pictures. Stay tuned though!
God's Girls starts today and I have to admit I'm not too excited about it. I think I will be once it actually starts, but that hasn't happened yet. I think I'm just preparing myself for the worst. God's Girls is usually the hardest week of the year for me, and I am going into it very tired, worn out and stressed with A LOT on my mind. I don't know many of the girls that will be participating this year, which also makes it difficult. Bonita is a God's Girl this year, though, and she is so excited she can't stand it, so that is getting me more excited. I just really want to be able to spend time with her this week without a million things weighing on me. Starting next Sunday she and Linda will both be in my Sunday School class and will be official God's Girls. I'm not sure I am ready for Bonita to grow up like Linda has...she's supposed to me my little girl!! :) I am very proud of the woman that she is becoming, so if she can't stay little forever at least she is growing into a woman who loves the Lord!
Tonight is the last God Squad of the summer. For the next 2 weeks we will be preparing for the mission trip. We have 16 teens going this year and it is going to be amazing! God has been working overtime to prepare these teens for this trip and I can't wait to see what He has in store for all of us!
I am terrified of the weeks to come (including this week), but I have felt that before this summer and God blew me away with His goodness and faithfulness. I'm praying and trusting that it will happen that way again! :)
God's Girls starts today and I have to admit I'm not too excited about it. I think I will be once it actually starts, but that hasn't happened yet. I think I'm just preparing myself for the worst. God's Girls is usually the hardest week of the year for me, and I am going into it very tired, worn out and stressed with A LOT on my mind. I don't know many of the girls that will be participating this year, which also makes it difficult. Bonita is a God's Girl this year, though, and she is so excited she can't stand it, so that is getting me more excited. I just really want to be able to spend time with her this week without a million things weighing on me. Starting next Sunday she and Linda will both be in my Sunday School class and will be official God's Girls. I'm not sure I am ready for Bonita to grow up like Linda has...she's supposed to me my little girl!! :) I am very proud of the woman that she is becoming, so if she can't stay little forever at least she is growing into a woman who loves the Lord!
Tonight is the last God Squad of the summer. For the next 2 weeks we will be preparing for the mission trip. We have 16 teens going this year and it is going to be amazing! God has been working overtime to prepare these teens for this trip and I can't wait to see what He has in store for all of us!
I am terrified of the weeks to come (including this week), but I have felt that before this summer and God blew me away with His goodness and faithfulness. I'm praying and trusting that it will happen that way again! :)
Friday, August 3, 2007
Kinda Boring...
I am sorry that I don't have a whole lot to update, once again, life is just really crazy right now. If I had to describe everything that is going on in one word, it would be humility. I feel incredible humbled right now and...well I'm not sure what to do with that feeling.
Frank has been working like a maniac on my house all week and I know it has been hard on him and his family. I LOVE the way my house looks and appreciate everything that he has done more than he will ever know...but there is no way that I could ever repay him for all of this. So, I can't help but feel incredibly guilty for all the time I have taken away from his family.
My home church has been with Frank all week, working SO hard...and they actually raised money to come and do this! Again, I am SO grateful and in awe of how wonderful everything is, but I know there are plenty of other worthwhile things all of these guys could have been doing.
I guess I just hate the fact that I need other people so much. There is no way I would ever be able to do the work that has been done on my house, so I am dependant on other people to help make that happen. Other people that owe me nothing and really should be doing other things. Its probably my pride that makes me feel this way. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for everything, but I know how unworthy I am as well.
I am excited to move back into my house and settle into some normalcy. I have felt very out of sorts for the last 2 weeks, not having a home or any semblance of a schedule. I am really struggling because I like to have things finished, and nothing I am doing is finished. I have a ton of balls in the air, so to speak, and I don't feel like I really have a grasp on any of them...and that tends to stress me out. In the next 2 weeks I will lead an AIM project, co-lead God's Girls, help run the Reading Rocks Party, hopefully clean my house (it is a disaster from all the work projects), finally close on my house, visit my parents for a few days and then leave for the mission trip. When I look at it like that, I get extremely overwhelmed. However, if I just focus on tomorrow, I think I will make it.
Tomorrow we are moving all of my furniture back to where it goes (right not the basement and 2nd floor have all the furniture, and the 1st floor is empty). I think several of the teens are going to help me...their servants' hearts are again extremely humbling. Once I do that, the cleaning will have to happen in sections, over the next few weeks. It will all get done, though...and even if it doesn't, its not the end of the world. Right? :)
PS I'm not exaggerating at all when I say that my house looks AMAZING! I will try and post pictures of the finished product tomorrow.
Frank has been working like a maniac on my house all week and I know it has been hard on him and his family. I LOVE the way my house looks and appreciate everything that he has done more than he will ever know...but there is no way that I could ever repay him for all of this. So, I can't help but feel incredibly guilty for all the time I have taken away from his family.
My home church has been with Frank all week, working SO hard...and they actually raised money to come and do this! Again, I am SO grateful and in awe of how wonderful everything is, but I know there are plenty of other worthwhile things all of these guys could have been doing.
I guess I just hate the fact that I need other people so much. There is no way I would ever be able to do the work that has been done on my house, so I am dependant on other people to help make that happen. Other people that owe me nothing and really should be doing other things. Its probably my pride that makes me feel this way. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for everything, but I know how unworthy I am as well.
I am excited to move back into my house and settle into some normalcy. I have felt very out of sorts for the last 2 weeks, not having a home or any semblance of a schedule. I am really struggling because I like to have things finished, and nothing I am doing is finished. I have a ton of balls in the air, so to speak, and I don't feel like I really have a grasp on any of them...and that tends to stress me out. In the next 2 weeks I will lead an AIM project, co-lead God's Girls, help run the Reading Rocks Party, hopefully clean my house (it is a disaster from all the work projects), finally close on my house, visit my parents for a few days and then leave for the mission trip. When I look at it like that, I get extremely overwhelmed. However, if I just focus on tomorrow, I think I will make it.
Tomorrow we are moving all of my furniture back to where it goes (right not the basement and 2nd floor have all the furniture, and the 1st floor is empty). I think several of the teens are going to help me...their servants' hearts are again extremely humbling. Once I do that, the cleaning will have to happen in sections, over the next few weeks. It will all get done, though...and even if it doesn't, its not the end of the world. Right? :)
PS I'm not exaggerating at all when I say that my house looks AMAZING! I will try and post pictures of the finished product tomorrow.
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