The past few days have been really good, mostly because I feel even more solid in my decision to stay in Philly. The response to my last blog was overwhelming with everyone confirming what the Lord has been saying and supporting my decision. Even my parents, who constantly worry about me overworking myself, are in full support. That has to be God! :) I'm ready to start looking for a job now, but since I can't start until September, there isn't much point right now. I'm keeping an eye out though.
Memorial Day was really nice, though kind of boring. Jenna and I decided to spend the day at the park reading and getting some exercise. Our plan started out well. It was kind of an overcast day, but that actually kept it from being too hot. We headed to Fairmount Park (my favorite place in the city) and I read while Jenna went for a run. When she came back, I headed out for a run while Jenna read for a while. Not too long after I returned from my run it started to rain. Then a strange man showed up who was showing a little too much interest in Jenna so we decided to head home. We had hoped to stay longer, but it was a good time nonetheless. We came home and finished the day by doing some major cleaning. I hadn't cleaned the bathroom or the kitchen since I moved in, and I'm pretty sure the guys didn't clean them before I left. I'm not convinced that they were ever cleaned. How do I know? Well, once we started cleaning we realized that the bathtub and the kitchen floor were very different colors than they appeared to be. It was really really really gross.
Things have been going really great having Jenna around and we both commented on how we will miss it when she moves out in a few weeks. She is absolutely what I needed right now, and vice versa. We take turns cooking (she is a great cook!) and are really encouraging one another toward healthy eating and regular exercise and we have awesome conversations about God. She is actually the one that really helped me process what God was saying and put it all together to finally be able to make the decision to stay in Philly. Plus, we have a lot of fun together! Brooke, our Cornerstone summer missionary, arrives tomorrow and I really pray she is half as great as Jenna. :) My friend Ashely comes tomorrow too, although she is only staying with me for a few days. It should be a really fun few days though! In fact, I finally unpacked my room so Ashley will have a place to sleep. The only thing left for me to unpack is the kids' room, but that doesn't need to happen any time soon...so I doubt that it will, haha.
We had a membership dinner tonight at church, which pretty much means that the summer is starting. It is going to be a VERY busy summer, but I am so excited about everything that is going on. We have a group coming next week that will do a fun program for the after-school kids. Next Friday is our trip to Hershey Park (YAY!!!!) and then all of our clubs start up again. I am definitely going to miss the flexibility I have in my schedule now, but I am excited to see all that God has in store for the summer!!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
I am staying in Philly!
I am staying in Philly. I made the decision officially today, although you all are the first to hear about it, haha. I feel 100% confident in this decision and I am going to try and explain why in just a minute. I am still unsure of what my role will look like. Unless something major changes, I will be looking for a part-time job in the fall to help supplement my income. My prayer is that I can get an 8-12 or 9-1 type job that will leave me open for all of my afternoon and evening ministry. I will again explain my reasons in a minute.
Okay, so I don't really know how to explain all of the things that God has been speaking to me over the past few weeks, so I apologize if I get confusing for you. I'm going to do my best though! (And Carisa, I still want to hear everything that you learned on your cruise!)
Okay, so obviously I have been praying about all of this for a while. First, I read about the Israelites being led BY GOD out of Egypt. First, He led them to the Red Sea. They followed Him to that exact place. He took them from one place of suffering, and led them to the impossible. They didn't get there as a result of their sin or by accident, God absolutely led them to the Red Sea...to a place where they could do nothing for themselves but had to completely rely on Him. So, what did God do? He parted the sea, stalled their enemies while they crossed the sea on dry land, then destroyed the enemies that were pursuing them. From there He led the Israelites every day by a pillar of cloud and every night by a pillar of fire.
But, where did He lead them? Well, we all know that eventually the Israelites sinned and God's punishment on them was to wander the desert for 40 years. However, before this happened, the Lord was taking them on the path to the Promised Land. What did that path look like? Well, at first it was wandering in the desert for 3 days without any water!!! What?!? I'm serious! The Lord led them around in the desert for 3 days without water, because that was HIS PLAN. Again, they hadn't sinned or gotten lost (they were following the cloud and the fire that God placed before them), and yet they went without water for 3 days. The Lord brought them to a point of complete desperation and utter dependence on Him. After 3 days He led them to water...water that was too bitter to drink. It's almost like He was playing with the Israelites! It almost seems cruel. Until you read what happens next. The Lord had once again brought them to a place where the Israelites (God's chosen and anointed) had to completely trust in and rely on God. Was their life easy? No. Were they always happy? No. Were they thirsty? YES! And I don't think the Lord had a problem with that. They were thirsty and needed water. I think the Lord loved that they were asking Him for water. I think He rejoiced every time one of His children said, "Father, I need water and I know you are the only one that can provide it. Please, give me water!" The more they asked, the more He rejoiced in being their Father and their Provider.
What He wanted to know, however, was whether or not the Israelites would trust Him to bring the water they needed, no matter how thirsty they got...or if there was a point at which the Israelites would turn from God. According to "experts", a person can only survive in the desert without water for 3 days. During those 3 days people experience extreme nausea, headaches, cramping, dizziness and even hallucinations. The Israelites followed God into these circumstances, they were a part of His plan. Would they trust Him through those circumstances, even when no solution was coming?
How about when they thought they had found a solution, and it turned out that the water was undrinkable? (Like maybe when I thought I had a roommate for the fall, but it all fell through). Would they still trust God, or was this the final straw? They were sick and tired and literally at the point of death (they didn't just think they might die, they were actually about to die), when God turned the water from bitter to sweet and the Israelites drank. God waited until the last possible minute, but He showed up. From there He led the Israelites to Elim where there were 12 springs of fresh water and had the Israelites camp there. (This is where the story goes downhill...where the Israelites forget all that God has done and end up angering God so much that He punishes them by not allowing them into the Promised Land...except for Joshua and Caleb. Lord NEVER let me forget who you are!!). This was all from Exodus 15, fyi.
I absolutely believe that I have followed the Lord every step of the way and that I am on the path that the Lord has laid out for me. I may have gotten a little off track here and there, but the Lord has always gently restored me and I believe that I am exactly where He has called me to be. I do feel like I am wandering in the desert right now, so thirsty....feeling lost, confused, dizzy...but still following His lead.
The events of the past few weeks, and especially the past few days have reminded me that there is also an enemy after me. I forget that sometimes because I know in the end he is defeated. However, that doesn't mean that he isn't out to do some damage right now. And he is relentless. As I was praying about this, the Lord led me to Joshua and Judges. In the first part of Joshua you read about all of the enemies that the Israelites fought and defeated. The Lord promised them victory over their enemies and over and over again He delivered. We see their victory over Jericho in a miraculous way, victory at Ai, victory over northern Canaan, and Edom, and so on and so on. But then you read in Joshua 15: 63 that they could not overcome the Jebusites in Jerusalem. Then again in Joshua 16:10 you read that they also could not conquer the Canaanites living in Gezer (The Canaanites over all were defeated, EXCEPT the ones living in Gezer). In fact, according to the Scripture, to this very day (meaning whenever the book of Joshua was written) the Jubusites and the Canaanites, of Gezer, live among the Israelites...they were never defeated (although the Canaanites are considered slaves). The Lord promised the Israelites victory over their enemies, why did He keep them from victory over these people?
The answer is found in the beginning of Judges. In Chapter 3 the Lord explains that the Israelites that were fighting these battles were not the Israelites that were used to battle. This was the generation of people that had come AFTER the generation that wandered the desert. This current generation had only known victory and never faced defeat. This generation needed to "be taught war" (Judges 3:2). The Lord didn't want them to become lazy or complacent in their victory, but needed them always ready for the battles they would face.
The Lord was also testing their faith. Would they "keep the way of the Lord to walk in it as their fathers did, or not"? (Judges 2:22) Every battle that we face does not result in immediate victory and rejoicing. Some battles will not be won until the day of Christ's return. Will I turn my back on Him when I face defeat? Will I continue to trust Him and follow Him as He trains me for battle?
At this point, though, in my life, I am still hurting. I am still suffering and I don't see any end in sight, and I can't help but wonder if I am doing something wrong. I hear what God is saying and I am starting to think that maybe He isn't leading me away from Philly, but I have to make sure that I haven't done something to bring this suffering on myself. Are things really supposed to be this hard, or did I mess something up along the way?
That is when the Lord led me to 1 Peter. " Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon for your testing, as though something strange were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed". (1 Peter 4:12, 13). Peter then goes on, in chapter 5 verses 8 and 9 to remind us that the enemy is prowling around like a lion seeking to destroy us! I have read plenty about suffering in the scripture and have often equated it to facing persecution or physical harm or even mockers. Here, though, Peter is talking about attacks from the enemy, that come in all shapes and sizes. Don't be surprised, Trish, when you are tested. He is making you more like Him, strengthening you everyday to fight for His glory, and ALLOWING you to share in His sufferings so you can receive even greater joy when His glory is revealed!!!
1 Peter ends with this, " And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (1 Peter 5:10). The NASB says that He will "perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish" you. He doesn't say how long the suffering will last...for the disciples and many others on this earth today, the suffering lasts their entire lifetime. However, the promise is always there...that in the end, God HIMSELF with restore me, making me strong, firm, and steadfast. That has always been my prayer...which means without realizing it, I have been asking for these trials!!!!
Here is a quote from the book "Shattered Dreams" that I am reading. "In the mystery of suffering, enter the deeper mystery of His restrained passion. As the mother holds her baby still so the doctor can deliver the needed injection, so your Lord is allowing you to suffer for reasons you do not know".
I'm not finished though, He has shown me more!!! I hope this isn't boring you all too much...I guess you can stop reading whenever you feel like it, haha. :)
The final kicker for me was where my heart is. At no point in this journey have I had any peace about leaving Philly, and my heart ached at the thought of being here but not being able to be in ministry (which would happen if I got a full time job). I truly believe that God never pushes us to His will, He draws us to it. When Jesus walked on water and called Peter out of the boat to join Him, He was already on the water. He didn't get in the boat and then push Peter onto the water, He drew Peter out onto the water where He already was. I have absolutely been feeling pushed away from Philly, not drawn somewhere else.
Then today after church I was talking with Kareem about his plans for the future. He has made some mistakes this year that have left him a little behind on his track toward graduating. He will be able to graduate on time next year, but only if he takes extra classes after school, which means he is going to have to work extra hard all year. I want so badly to help him with that. With no after-school program in the fall, I am free to be available to tutor teens as well as help them with any projects that they have. I really do feel like I have a lot to offer the teens to help them realize their potential and get on the path toward what God has for them. My biggest thing with the kids and the teens is helping them seek the path that God has for them, but also preparing them for the work required to get there. God may have given the Israelites victory in battle, but they still had to fight, and I want to give these teens the tools as well as the motivation that they need to stay on the path God has for them. I know several people who are in their late teens and early twenties that still don't understand what it means to push through when things get hard. I have learned a lot about hard work and steadfastness in every area of my life, and I want to help these teens find that for themselves. I think I can actually do it too...though obviously not on my own strength. :)
All of this, however, still leaves me with the practical to deal with. I literally don't have enough money to live off of, and I don't believe that the Lord is leading me to a place of debt. So, where do I go from here? I don't know, but I know He will show me in His time. Maybe working a part time job as well as my work at the church is what the teens need to see...that I trust completely in the Lord, but that doesn't equal laziness. Or, maybe God is ready to make my bitter water sweet and I just have to wait for that timing. Either way, I have complete trust that His plan is perfect and I will follow wherever He leads me.
'Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today" ~Ruth 3:18
Okay, so I don't really know how to explain all of the things that God has been speaking to me over the past few weeks, so I apologize if I get confusing for you. I'm going to do my best though! (And Carisa, I still want to hear everything that you learned on your cruise!)
Okay, so obviously I have been praying about all of this for a while. First, I read about the Israelites being led BY GOD out of Egypt. First, He led them to the Red Sea. They followed Him to that exact place. He took them from one place of suffering, and led them to the impossible. They didn't get there as a result of their sin or by accident, God absolutely led them to the Red Sea...to a place where they could do nothing for themselves but had to completely rely on Him. So, what did God do? He parted the sea, stalled their enemies while they crossed the sea on dry land, then destroyed the enemies that were pursuing them. From there He led the Israelites every day by a pillar of cloud and every night by a pillar of fire.
But, where did He lead them? Well, we all know that eventually the Israelites sinned and God's punishment on them was to wander the desert for 40 years. However, before this happened, the Lord was taking them on the path to the Promised Land. What did that path look like? Well, at first it was wandering in the desert for 3 days without any water!!! What?!? I'm serious! The Lord led them around in the desert for 3 days without water, because that was HIS PLAN. Again, they hadn't sinned or gotten lost (they were following the cloud and the fire that God placed before them), and yet they went without water for 3 days. The Lord brought them to a point of complete desperation and utter dependence on Him. After 3 days He led them to water...water that was too bitter to drink. It's almost like He was playing with the Israelites! It almost seems cruel. Until you read what happens next. The Lord had once again brought them to a place where the Israelites (God's chosen and anointed) had to completely trust in and rely on God. Was their life easy? No. Were they always happy? No. Were they thirsty? YES! And I don't think the Lord had a problem with that. They were thirsty and needed water. I think the Lord loved that they were asking Him for water. I think He rejoiced every time one of His children said, "Father, I need water and I know you are the only one that can provide it. Please, give me water!" The more they asked, the more He rejoiced in being their Father and their Provider.
What He wanted to know, however, was whether or not the Israelites would trust Him to bring the water they needed, no matter how thirsty they got...or if there was a point at which the Israelites would turn from God. According to "experts", a person can only survive in the desert without water for 3 days. During those 3 days people experience extreme nausea, headaches, cramping, dizziness and even hallucinations. The Israelites followed God into these circumstances, they were a part of His plan. Would they trust Him through those circumstances, even when no solution was coming?
How about when they thought they had found a solution, and it turned out that the water was undrinkable? (Like maybe when I thought I had a roommate for the fall, but it all fell through). Would they still trust God, or was this the final straw? They were sick and tired and literally at the point of death (they didn't just think they might die, they were actually about to die), when God turned the water from bitter to sweet and the Israelites drank. God waited until the last possible minute, but He showed up. From there He led the Israelites to Elim where there were 12 springs of fresh water and had the Israelites camp there. (This is where the story goes downhill...where the Israelites forget all that God has done and end up angering God so much that He punishes them by not allowing them into the Promised Land...except for Joshua and Caleb. Lord NEVER let me forget who you are!!). This was all from Exodus 15, fyi.
I absolutely believe that I have followed the Lord every step of the way and that I am on the path that the Lord has laid out for me. I may have gotten a little off track here and there, but the Lord has always gently restored me and I believe that I am exactly where He has called me to be. I do feel like I am wandering in the desert right now, so thirsty....feeling lost, confused, dizzy...but still following His lead.
The events of the past few weeks, and especially the past few days have reminded me that there is also an enemy after me. I forget that sometimes because I know in the end he is defeated. However, that doesn't mean that he isn't out to do some damage right now. And he is relentless. As I was praying about this, the Lord led me to Joshua and Judges. In the first part of Joshua you read about all of the enemies that the Israelites fought and defeated. The Lord promised them victory over their enemies and over and over again He delivered. We see their victory over Jericho in a miraculous way, victory at Ai, victory over northern Canaan, and Edom, and so on and so on. But then you read in Joshua 15: 63 that they could not overcome the Jebusites in Jerusalem. Then again in Joshua 16:10 you read that they also could not conquer the Canaanites living in Gezer (The Canaanites over all were defeated, EXCEPT the ones living in Gezer). In fact, according to the Scripture, to this very day (meaning whenever the book of Joshua was written) the Jubusites and the Canaanites, of Gezer, live among the Israelites...they were never defeated (although the Canaanites are considered slaves). The Lord promised the Israelites victory over their enemies, why did He keep them from victory over these people?
The answer is found in the beginning of Judges. In Chapter 3 the Lord explains that the Israelites that were fighting these battles were not the Israelites that were used to battle. This was the generation of people that had come AFTER the generation that wandered the desert. This current generation had only known victory and never faced defeat. This generation needed to "be taught war" (Judges 3:2). The Lord didn't want them to become lazy or complacent in their victory, but needed them always ready for the battles they would face.
The Lord was also testing their faith. Would they "keep the way of the Lord to walk in it as their fathers did, or not"? (Judges 2:22) Every battle that we face does not result in immediate victory and rejoicing. Some battles will not be won until the day of Christ's return. Will I turn my back on Him when I face defeat? Will I continue to trust Him and follow Him as He trains me for battle?
At this point, though, in my life, I am still hurting. I am still suffering and I don't see any end in sight, and I can't help but wonder if I am doing something wrong. I hear what God is saying and I am starting to think that maybe He isn't leading me away from Philly, but I have to make sure that I haven't done something to bring this suffering on myself. Are things really supposed to be this hard, or did I mess something up along the way?
That is when the Lord led me to 1 Peter. " Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon for your testing, as though something strange were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed". (1 Peter 4:12, 13). Peter then goes on, in chapter 5 verses 8 and 9 to remind us that the enemy is prowling around like a lion seeking to destroy us! I have read plenty about suffering in the scripture and have often equated it to facing persecution or physical harm or even mockers. Here, though, Peter is talking about attacks from the enemy, that come in all shapes and sizes. Don't be surprised, Trish, when you are tested. He is making you more like Him, strengthening you everyday to fight for His glory, and ALLOWING you to share in His sufferings so you can receive even greater joy when His glory is revealed!!!
1 Peter ends with this, " And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (1 Peter 5:10). The NASB says that He will "perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish" you. He doesn't say how long the suffering will last...for the disciples and many others on this earth today, the suffering lasts their entire lifetime. However, the promise is always there...that in the end, God HIMSELF with restore me, making me strong, firm, and steadfast. That has always been my prayer...which means without realizing it, I have been asking for these trials!!!!
Here is a quote from the book "Shattered Dreams" that I am reading. "In the mystery of suffering, enter the deeper mystery of His restrained passion. As the mother holds her baby still so the doctor can deliver the needed injection, so your Lord is allowing you to suffer for reasons you do not know".
I'm not finished though, He has shown me more!!! I hope this isn't boring you all too much...I guess you can stop reading whenever you feel like it, haha. :)
The final kicker for me was where my heart is. At no point in this journey have I had any peace about leaving Philly, and my heart ached at the thought of being here but not being able to be in ministry (which would happen if I got a full time job). I truly believe that God never pushes us to His will, He draws us to it. When Jesus walked on water and called Peter out of the boat to join Him, He was already on the water. He didn't get in the boat and then push Peter onto the water, He drew Peter out onto the water where He already was. I have absolutely been feeling pushed away from Philly, not drawn somewhere else.
Then today after church I was talking with Kareem about his plans for the future. He has made some mistakes this year that have left him a little behind on his track toward graduating. He will be able to graduate on time next year, but only if he takes extra classes after school, which means he is going to have to work extra hard all year. I want so badly to help him with that. With no after-school program in the fall, I am free to be available to tutor teens as well as help them with any projects that they have. I really do feel like I have a lot to offer the teens to help them realize their potential and get on the path toward what God has for them. My biggest thing with the kids and the teens is helping them seek the path that God has for them, but also preparing them for the work required to get there. God may have given the Israelites victory in battle, but they still had to fight, and I want to give these teens the tools as well as the motivation that they need to stay on the path God has for them. I know several people who are in their late teens and early twenties that still don't understand what it means to push through when things get hard. I have learned a lot about hard work and steadfastness in every area of my life, and I want to help these teens find that for themselves. I think I can actually do it too...though obviously not on my own strength. :)
All of this, however, still leaves me with the practical to deal with. I literally don't have enough money to live off of, and I don't believe that the Lord is leading me to a place of debt. So, where do I go from here? I don't know, but I know He will show me in His time. Maybe working a part time job as well as my work at the church is what the teens need to see...that I trust completely in the Lord, but that doesn't equal laziness. Or, maybe God is ready to make my bitter water sweet and I just have to wait for that timing. Either way, I have complete trust that His plan is perfect and I will follow wherever He leads me.
'Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today" ~Ruth 3:18
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Fun with Kids
This was the scene I came onto Friday night when I went to the Curry's house. Kareem was going to prom that night and the family invited me to come and see him in his tux. He looked SO HANDSOME!! They told me to come around 6, but it turns out that they weren't leaving until 8, so I ended up sticking around for 2 hours and playing with all the kids in the neighborhood (okay, maybe not ALL of them, but it sure felt like it!). There are a lot of kids from the church on that block (Jonerik's family lives right next door to the Currys), but there are also a lot of other kids that I had never met before. I had fun doing puzzles, watching races and getting my hair done by the kids. 
There were a ton of friends and family members at the house to see Kareem off and it was so much fun. They made me feel like part of the family! I still can't believe these guys are growing up so much, I can't wait to see all the plans that God has for them! (Doesn't he look so handsome?!?)
Today was a very uneventful day, other than another shooting on the block next to mine. I spent most of the day hanging out with Shera helping her get errands and things done, and getting a few things on my to-do list crossed off as well. It was a beautiful day for most of the day and I loved listening to all the kids on my block playing outside. A huge thunderstorm hit around 8 and I heard them all collectively singing "rain, rain go away", which made me smile. Less than an hour later we heard the gun shots and Jenna and I immediately thanked God for the rain because it kept most people inside, away from the shots. No one was hurt in this shooting. I still don't know how the guys on my block are doing, no one has really heard anything. I think that's a good sign though, I think we would know if any of them had passed away.
Tomorrow and Monday should continue to be uneventful days. I am really enjoying the flexibility in my schedule and I am honestly not looking forward to the upcoming busyness. I'm going to try and enjoy the peace while I can though!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Full Update
I still can't believe that I am back in my own house. It feels SO SO good!! Its very different, living farther away from the church, and not in a church building. I am feeling a bit disconnected, but its worth it because I also finally feel like I am home.
To catch you all up on everything, the move went really great. I had several teens help me which made it go pretty quickly, and I only had to buy them pizza as payment. :) So far the only thing that has been lost in the move is all the bolts for my huge bookshelf that I had to take apart...whoops. Hopefully I will find them somewhere...
On Sunday night my friend Jenna arrived. She came to Philly last summer on a week long trip with AIM and fell in love with the city. She is working with AIM for the summer, but doesn't start until June 20th. She couldn't wait that long to get here so she came a month early to do an internship at a hospital and get to know the city. She is young (just finished her freshman year of college), and getting used to life "On her own", but it has been really nice having her around.
Next Wednesday Brook arrives, our Cornerstone summer missionary. She will be living with me until August and working with the church, mostly with the teens. I am really excited to have her come as well. She has been to Philly before, but I don't remember meeting her. It will be nice to have roommates around for the summer. I am also babysitting a friend's dog for a month in July, so I am going to have a full house! Yay!
I haven't even come close to completely unpacking, but that is mostly due to my lack of motivation. I hope to have it all finished by the end of the weekend. Its pretty hot outside, so staying in the air conditioning is pretty appealing. :)
Things are still very up in the air with me in terms of the fall. I go back and forth everyday and I don't feel like I have a clear direction at all. I do know one thing, though, Satan is on the attack. I almost feel like Wednesday night was God's wake up call to me not only about the neighborhood that I live in, but of the war that I am a part of. I have been seeking God's direction but not really trying to battle again the forces trying to keep me from His will. I temporarily forgot that God is NOT the God of confusion, that all comes from the enemy and I need to battle against that!
Unfortunately, that still hasn't left me with any clear answers. Despite our "break" from programs, everyone around me is still very busy (or on vacation) and so I haven't really been able to talk to people much. I am still keeping my eyes open for jobs and just talking to God a lot.
In the meantime, summer is almost here and there is SO much to do! We have Extreme Team for the teens, Reading Rocks for the kids, missions groups coming, our mission trip that is going, plus all of our regular activities...including Kids Club in which I am supposed to be planning a weekly activity for the Reading Room. I forgot about that until just now...hehe. I don't feel overwhelmed by all of it, I just need to really get on it! First, though, I have a college group coming to work with us for the first week in June and we are going to do a special after-school week with them. I haven't even started to think about that yet. I don't usually procrastinate, but I think my mind is just kind of overloaded with life.
Things have been pretty calm on my block since the shooting. I have talked to everyone in my family and they have been amazing! I was fully expecting to see my dad and brother drive up to my house, throw me in a car and speed off never to return me to Philly, haha. My dad admitted that he would like to do that, but actually wasn't too freaked out about what happened. He was more worried about my heart and how I was handling the scare than about my safety...he told me he trusts God to take care of me, he just wants to make sure I am emotionally okay as well. I LOVE MY FAMILY!!! My brother is planning on getting me a dog to make himself feel better, but other than that he wasn't too freaked out either. Its really awesome to see my family become more and more trusting of God and supportive of me being here.
Please keep praying for the people that were shot though, 2 of them are still in critical condition.
Okay, I think everyone is officially updated on my life. Don't you all feel better now? Haha, well I think now I might go out and enjoy the nice weather. Or...take a nap. :)
To catch you all up on everything, the move went really great. I had several teens help me which made it go pretty quickly, and I only had to buy them pizza as payment. :) So far the only thing that has been lost in the move is all the bolts for my huge bookshelf that I had to take apart...whoops. Hopefully I will find them somewhere...
On Sunday night my friend Jenna arrived. She came to Philly last summer on a week long trip with AIM and fell in love with the city. She is working with AIM for the summer, but doesn't start until June 20th. She couldn't wait that long to get here so she came a month early to do an internship at a hospital and get to know the city. She is young (just finished her freshman year of college), and getting used to life "On her own", but it has been really nice having her around.
Next Wednesday Brook arrives, our Cornerstone summer missionary. She will be living with me until August and working with the church, mostly with the teens. I am really excited to have her come as well. She has been to Philly before, but I don't remember meeting her. It will be nice to have roommates around for the summer. I am also babysitting a friend's dog for a month in July, so I am going to have a full house! Yay!
I haven't even come close to completely unpacking, but that is mostly due to my lack of motivation. I hope to have it all finished by the end of the weekend. Its pretty hot outside, so staying in the air conditioning is pretty appealing. :)
Things are still very up in the air with me in terms of the fall. I go back and forth everyday and I don't feel like I have a clear direction at all. I do know one thing, though, Satan is on the attack. I almost feel like Wednesday night was God's wake up call to me not only about the neighborhood that I live in, but of the war that I am a part of. I have been seeking God's direction but not really trying to battle again the forces trying to keep me from His will. I temporarily forgot that God is NOT the God of confusion, that all comes from the enemy and I need to battle against that!
Unfortunately, that still hasn't left me with any clear answers. Despite our "break" from programs, everyone around me is still very busy (or on vacation) and so I haven't really been able to talk to people much. I am still keeping my eyes open for jobs and just talking to God a lot.
In the meantime, summer is almost here and there is SO much to do! We have Extreme Team for the teens, Reading Rocks for the kids, missions groups coming, our mission trip that is going, plus all of our regular activities...including Kids Club in which I am supposed to be planning a weekly activity for the Reading Room. I forgot about that until just now...hehe. I don't feel overwhelmed by all of it, I just need to really get on it! First, though, I have a college group coming to work with us for the first week in June and we are going to do a special after-school week with them. I haven't even started to think about that yet. I don't usually procrastinate, but I think my mind is just kind of overloaded with life.
Things have been pretty calm on my block since the shooting. I have talked to everyone in my family and they have been amazing! I was fully expecting to see my dad and brother drive up to my house, throw me in a car and speed off never to return me to Philly, haha. My dad admitted that he would like to do that, but actually wasn't too freaked out about what happened. He was more worried about my heart and how I was handling the scare than about my safety...he told me he trusts God to take care of me, he just wants to make sure I am emotionally okay as well. I LOVE MY FAMILY!!! My brother is planning on getting me a dog to make himself feel better, but other than that he wasn't too freaked out either. Its really awesome to see my family become more and more trusting of God and supportive of me being here.
Please keep praying for the people that were shot though, 2 of them are still in critical condition.
Okay, I think everyone is officially updated on my life. Don't you all feel better now? Haha, well I think now I might go out and enjoy the nice weather. Or...take a nap. :)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
PLEASE PRAY!!!!!
I am writing this at 11:30 on Wednesday night, but I probably won’t be able to post this until sometime tomorrow, whenever my Internet is fixed.
This is one of those blog entries that I don’t really want to write, and I’m not 100% sure I should, but somehow I feel like I have to. I always want to be honest about what is going on in Philly, the highs and the lows, and I always want to have people praying. Plus, this blog has become somewhat therapeutic for me to be able process everything I experience and knowing that people read it reminds me that I am not alone, no matter what the enemy tries to tell me. So, as much as many of you (mom and dad) would probably rather not hear this, I am going to tell it.
Less than an hour ago was a major shooting on my block and 4 people were shot. They are all at the hospital and I have no idea how they are doing. At least one of them looked pretty bad, though all were alive when they left for the hospital. It was not a random shooting, and judging by the massive amounts of police cars and helicopters still circling the area, the shooters have not been found.
I am scared.
My friend Shera came over tonight and we watched the American Idol finale. I have a friend, Jenna, staying with me for about a month, so we all enjoyed eating dinner together and watching TV. When the finale was over I left to drive Shera home while Jenna stayed and got ready for bed. I came back and wasn’t really tired, so I decided to see how much of the Lost season finale I could get through before falling asleep. I lay down on the couch by the window and started watching TV. About 15 minutes into the show I heard the gun shots.
Gun shots are not uncommon around here, but neither are fire works and sometimes it is difficult to tell which sound you are hearing. However, when the gun shots are right outside your window, they are unmistakable…especially when there are 7 of them…one right after the other in a very controlled fashion.
This was not a random shooting.
I immediately paused the TV and sat quietly, praying that God would protect us. His angels surround my house, but I wanted assurance that they were there. The block was quiet for a few minutes, long enough to make me question what I heard. Then I heard people yelling to call 911 and looked out the window to see a man being carried down the street toward a car. He was bleeding and gasping for air.
This is real.
I went upstairs and got Jenna and we started to pray. I heard the helicopters and sirens outside, and the neighbors talking, and I have to admit that my curiosity got the best of me. I opened the door and asked what happened.
All 4 of the victims are young, early 20’s. No one that I talked to is 100% sure why they were shot, but at least one of them was the target…he runs around with some shady people. It is believed that some of the others were just with the wrong person at the wrong time.
Several people were outside when it happened, but no one is really willing to talk about what they saw…or at least who they saw. Jenna and I stayed outside for a little while talking with the neighbors, trying to bring truth. One girl had literally just gone inside when it happened; she is now wondering if there is a God that led her inside.
My next door neighbor suddenly had to use the bathroom and heard the shots as he flushed the toilet. He asked me if I thought it was nature calling him, or someone else.
God is at work.
On Sunday as I was moving my stuff back in the house, there was quite a commotion on the block as everyone saw me coming back. Several people were very excited to have me around again and one woman couldn’t wait to invite me to her daughter’s 1st birthday party. They wave to me every time I step out of my car and help me carry my groceries into the house. Their kids are already knocking on the door asking me to come and play with them, and I can’t believe how much they have grown up in the last 2 years.
As I sat on my steps tonight talking with the neighbors I marveled at having just moved back in. One neighbor laughed and said, “Welcome Back!” I am back. I am home.
I do live on a dangerous street. There are drug dealers and some very shady people. The enemy is at work. But, there are also kids, families and people very open to the Gospel. God is at work too, and we already know who has the victory. I am on the winning team, but many people on my block are not. I want them on my team.
Tonight reminded me that my life here in Philly is not just about Cornerstone Community Church. It’s not just about the programs I run or even the people that I already know. My life here is all about Christ. Christ is doing an amazing work, but He is not finished. There is so much more that He wants to do, and I truly believe that He has called me to be an integral part of it.
I am still scared. I am still very unsure. I still have no idea what He is doing, but I know He is doing something.
People are dying here, and they don’t know Jesus. There is a song out now by LeCrae that I absolutely love called “Send Me”. It’s all about missions and the urgency of the Gospel. One line that is running through my head right now is: “If the violence doesn't cease, then at least the deceased might know Jesus as their Savior as their bodies hit the streets”.
I know those words seem harsh and the image that they create is not pretty. But I have seen that image right in front of me. It is real. The people around me know that all too well.
Jesus is real too. The people around me don’t know that truth, though. They need to know.
This is one of those blog entries that I don’t really want to write, and I’m not 100% sure I should, but somehow I feel like I have to. I always want to be honest about what is going on in Philly, the highs and the lows, and I always want to have people praying. Plus, this blog has become somewhat therapeutic for me to be able process everything I experience and knowing that people read it reminds me that I am not alone, no matter what the enemy tries to tell me. So, as much as many of you (mom and dad) would probably rather not hear this, I am going to tell it.
Less than an hour ago was a major shooting on my block and 4 people were shot. They are all at the hospital and I have no idea how they are doing. At least one of them looked pretty bad, though all were alive when they left for the hospital. It was not a random shooting, and judging by the massive amounts of police cars and helicopters still circling the area, the shooters have not been found.
I am scared.
My friend Shera came over tonight and we watched the American Idol finale. I have a friend, Jenna, staying with me for about a month, so we all enjoyed eating dinner together and watching TV. When the finale was over I left to drive Shera home while Jenna stayed and got ready for bed. I came back and wasn’t really tired, so I decided to see how much of the Lost season finale I could get through before falling asleep. I lay down on the couch by the window and started watching TV. About 15 minutes into the show I heard the gun shots.
Gun shots are not uncommon around here, but neither are fire works and sometimes it is difficult to tell which sound you are hearing. However, when the gun shots are right outside your window, they are unmistakable…especially when there are 7 of them…one right after the other in a very controlled fashion.
This was not a random shooting.
I immediately paused the TV and sat quietly, praying that God would protect us. His angels surround my house, but I wanted assurance that they were there. The block was quiet for a few minutes, long enough to make me question what I heard. Then I heard people yelling to call 911 and looked out the window to see a man being carried down the street toward a car. He was bleeding and gasping for air.
This is real.
I went upstairs and got Jenna and we started to pray. I heard the helicopters and sirens outside, and the neighbors talking, and I have to admit that my curiosity got the best of me. I opened the door and asked what happened.
All 4 of the victims are young, early 20’s. No one that I talked to is 100% sure why they were shot, but at least one of them was the target…he runs around with some shady people. It is believed that some of the others were just with the wrong person at the wrong time.
Several people were outside when it happened, but no one is really willing to talk about what they saw…or at least who they saw. Jenna and I stayed outside for a little while talking with the neighbors, trying to bring truth. One girl had literally just gone inside when it happened; she is now wondering if there is a God that led her inside.
My next door neighbor suddenly had to use the bathroom and heard the shots as he flushed the toilet. He asked me if I thought it was nature calling him, or someone else.
God is at work.
On Sunday as I was moving my stuff back in the house, there was quite a commotion on the block as everyone saw me coming back. Several people were very excited to have me around again and one woman couldn’t wait to invite me to her daughter’s 1st birthday party. They wave to me every time I step out of my car and help me carry my groceries into the house. Their kids are already knocking on the door asking me to come and play with them, and I can’t believe how much they have grown up in the last 2 years.
As I sat on my steps tonight talking with the neighbors I marveled at having just moved back in. One neighbor laughed and said, “Welcome Back!” I am back. I am home.
I do live on a dangerous street. There are drug dealers and some very shady people. The enemy is at work. But, there are also kids, families and people very open to the Gospel. God is at work too, and we already know who has the victory. I am on the winning team, but many people on my block are not. I want them on my team.
Tonight reminded me that my life here in Philly is not just about Cornerstone Community Church. It’s not just about the programs I run or even the people that I already know. My life here is all about Christ. Christ is doing an amazing work, but He is not finished. There is so much more that He wants to do, and I truly believe that He has called me to be an integral part of it.
I am still scared. I am still very unsure. I still have no idea what He is doing, but I know He is doing something.
People are dying here, and they don’t know Jesus. There is a song out now by LeCrae that I absolutely love called “Send Me”. It’s all about missions and the urgency of the Gospel. One line that is running through my head right now is: “If the violence doesn't cease, then at least the deceased might know Jesus as their Savior as their bodies hit the streets”.
I know those words seem harsh and the image that they create is not pretty. But I have seen that image right in front of me. It is real. The people around me know that all too well.
Jesus is real too. The people around me don’t know that truth, though. They need to know.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
I'm still here!
Hey Everyone! I am sorry that I haven't written in a while, I am still waiting for the Internet to be connected at my house. Hopefully it will be ready to go tomorrow...sometime between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. (its like Verizon thinks I have nothing better to do with my time!). Anyway, I only have a minute, but the move went GREAT and I am LOVING being back at my house!!!! I'm having a hard time motivating myself to unpack, but there really isn't any rush on that...it is my house! :) Anyway, just wanted to check in with everyone, I will write more as soon as I have time. Thanks!!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Ice Skating!
Today was the last After-School field trip for the year, and probably forever. It was a BLAST as it was the first time a lot of the kids had ever been ice skating. We actually had all 16 kids come on the field trip and everyone had so much fun. It was a bitter sweet time knowing that I probably won't be able to do after-school next year, but I had fun nonetheless. Actually, we still had to deal with some of the fighting/gossipping that has become a problem and it just reminded me how difficult After-School really can be. I have been struggling with some guilt recently realizing just how burnt out I had become with After-School by the end of the year. There were many days when all the kids had was me, and they had to deal with my short fuse and just feeling overwhelmed. I wasn't able to help the kids the way I wanted to, to love them they way I wanted to...and overall I just wasn't able to be who I wanted to be for them. That's a really hard thing for me to accept, but I am going to have to. I'm not sure what I could have done differently, but there is definitely nothing I can do about it now.
I am very excited because at the After-School party I was able to present 8 kids with a really special prize. 8 of the kids earned over 600 points in our Points Challenge and as a reward we are taking a trip to Hershey Park (an amusement/water park)!!! I am so excited about this trip I can't stand it! I want to go right now!! :)
On a different note, I am finally finished packing and ready to move. I am moving after church and I can't wait. It will be the first time in 2 years that I will be living in MY house, and I really pray that I won't have to move again for a very long time. I get to spend the summer working on the house and really making it home. I am most definitely a homebody, so having a real home will be huge for me. Plus, there are more stairs at my house, and Gizmo could use the exercise, haha. :)
I am really looking forward to this week. We are still on our "Spring Break", meaning that all of our regular clubs (Kids Club, Teen Club, etc) are on a break, so my schedule is much less hectic. Despite the break, the past few weeks have been pretty busy for me, but this week isn't booked up yet! I will have plenty of unpacking to do, but unpacking doesn't stress me out nearly as much as packing. I don't feel like I have had a lot of time to just rest with the Lord, and I am really longing to do that. So much of my time with Him recently has felt kinda stressful with me asking a lot of questions and worrying rather than trusting. So, I am going to take some time this week to just be with Him. I'm not even going to ask Him about His plan for me or anything like that, I just want to be with Him.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Packing, UGH!
I HATE PACKING!!! Yes, I know that hate is a very strong word, but it is the only word that can describe how I truly feel about packing...I don't like it at all! For those of you who don't know, I have been living in a church building for the last 2 years while friends of mine have been renting my house from me. Now, it is time for me to move back home. I am SO ready for this move and beyond excited to be in my own home...but I hate the packing part. Its amazing how much junk 1 person can accumulate in just 2 years. I am discovering just how much like my dad I can be. I remember my entire life my dad always had change lying around everywhere. He had at least 15 different change cups and jars, and always had piles of change lying around on counters and tables. I'm still convinced that we could have paid for my college with all that change. Well, as I have been packing I have been finding change in little piles all over my house, as well as 5 separate change jars. I didn't even know I was doing it!!!!
I had actually planned on being pretty much packed already. I was hoping to spend last week packing while I was staying at Frank and Carisa's house so I wouldn't have to live in the mess. Unfortunately, sleepovers, recitals, and Kids Day; as well as getting my resume together and applying for jobs ended up taking most of my time. Not to mention, it was all emotionally and spiritually draining, so the packing was put aside.
I am hoping to move on Sunday, but I am no where near ready. My bedroom is completely packed and I am hoping to have the living room finished tomorrow. That will really only leave the kitchen and girls' room to pack up, and neither one has very much stuff. The good part about this is that no one is moving into the church building after me, its going to be empty for the summer. So, if I don't absolutely have to have everything out this weekend. My main goal is to get all the furniture and the main things moved, the rest can happen over time.
Life in general is really overwhelming right now, but I am making it through...and actually with a smile on my face, which could only be God. I am still struggling with money and seeking direction for the fall, but I still have a lot of responsibilities to keep up with. Add to that moving and trying to get things fixed on my house (with literally NO MONEY).
Things are also getting kinda crazy with the kids. On Sunday Bonita was hit by a car. She is fine, but is pretty banged up. She was riding on the back of a mini-motorcycle (which are illegal) and the motorcycle was hit by a car. She went flying and landed on concrete; it is literally a miracle that she wasn't paralyzed or killed. The police are investigating her family now, and the threat of DHS is being tossed around. (Linda and Dario are close to going to truancy court as well, which will automatically get DHS involved). If DHS gets involved again, this could be when their mom loses her kids. Their mom has also recently discovered that she will soon lose a lot of the government money she gets for her kids as they are all turning 18. One sister is already 18, another turns 18 in July, and Dario will be 18 a year later. That will take her from getting checks for 4 kids, to just getting one. So, she is now pushing hard to try and get Linda into special education classes, which will get her more money. Linda's recent behavior problems at school are only fueling her cause, though her teacher refuses to sign the necessary papers. I want to desperately to home school those girls, but I don't even know if I will be here in the fall!!!
Okay, so I think I am rambling now when I really should get back to packing (did I mention how much I really dislike packing?!?). As I look ahead and see everything on the horizon I am so overwhelmed. This week I am holding on to this scripture: "Martha, Martha [Trish, Trish]," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." ~Luke 10:41-42
I had actually planned on being pretty much packed already. I was hoping to spend last week packing while I was staying at Frank and Carisa's house so I wouldn't have to live in the mess. Unfortunately, sleepovers, recitals, and Kids Day; as well as getting my resume together and applying for jobs ended up taking most of my time. Not to mention, it was all emotionally and spiritually draining, so the packing was put aside.
I am hoping to move on Sunday, but I am no where near ready. My bedroom is completely packed and I am hoping to have the living room finished tomorrow. That will really only leave the kitchen and girls' room to pack up, and neither one has very much stuff. The good part about this is that no one is moving into the church building after me, its going to be empty for the summer. So, if I don't absolutely have to have everything out this weekend. My main goal is to get all the furniture and the main things moved, the rest can happen over time.
Life in general is really overwhelming right now, but I am making it through...and actually with a smile on my face, which could only be God. I am still struggling with money and seeking direction for the fall, but I still have a lot of responsibilities to keep up with. Add to that moving and trying to get things fixed on my house (with literally NO MONEY).
Things are also getting kinda crazy with the kids. On Sunday Bonita was hit by a car. She is fine, but is pretty banged up. She was riding on the back of a mini-motorcycle (which are illegal) and the motorcycle was hit by a car. She went flying and landed on concrete; it is literally a miracle that she wasn't paralyzed or killed. The police are investigating her family now, and the threat of DHS is being tossed around. (Linda and Dario are close to going to truancy court as well, which will automatically get DHS involved). If DHS gets involved again, this could be when their mom loses her kids. Their mom has also recently discovered that she will soon lose a lot of the government money she gets for her kids as they are all turning 18. One sister is already 18, another turns 18 in July, and Dario will be 18 a year later. That will take her from getting checks for 4 kids, to just getting one. So, she is now pushing hard to try and get Linda into special education classes, which will get her more money. Linda's recent behavior problems at school are only fueling her cause, though her teacher refuses to sign the necessary papers. I want to desperately to home school those girls, but I don't even know if I will be here in the fall!!!
Okay, so I think I am rambling now when I really should get back to packing (did I mention how much I really dislike packing?!?). As I look ahead and see everything on the horizon I am so overwhelmed. This week I am holding on to this scripture: "Martha, Martha [Trish, Trish]," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." ~Luke 10:41-42
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Welcome to the world Ephraim!!
Yay!! On may 11th, 2007 at 1:52p.m. Ephraim James Aday was born to my friends Scott and Catherine (Catherine has been my best friend since first grade). Isn't he cute?!? He came a few weeks early, but the Aday's were ready (as ready as they could be I suppose, hehe). We weighed 6 lbs and 14 ounces.
I haven't talked to Catherine yet, but I am really excited to hear how she enjoys being a mom, she's going to be great at it!!! Now I just have to get to Florida to meet him...
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Kids Day!!!!
Today was absolutely one of my most favorite days of the year! Kids Day at PBU!!!! Next to the Prayer Pals and Kids Club Christmas parties, Kids Day is my favorite day. We always have SO MUCH FUN, and today was no exception.PBU stands for Philadelphia Biblical University and every year around this time they hold a mission conference for junior high youth groups. The conference ends with a Kids Day, which the junior high kids run and we just get to attend. I think that's part of the reason I enjoy the day so much...I don't have to set up or clean up, or make and keep a schedule, I just get to play with the kids!
This year we took 40 kids, so we got the nice bus to come pick us up (PBU even provides our transportation!). The kids really loved the bus ride, and that was only the beginning! The day always starts with a puppet show that I am never impressed with, but I know its good experience for the junior highers. This year was especially interesting since all the songs in the puppet show were country songs...and the day is geared toward inner city kids. I don't know many
inner city kids that listen to country music...For some reason they split our group of 40 in half and paired each half with another church, so I didn't get to see all the kids all day. That made me kinda sad, but I really enjoyed my time with the kids that I did get to hang out with. I tried to pair myself with a lot of the kids that aren't as involved with the church so I could hopefully get them more involved.
So, after the puppet show we all got to eat some lunch and then head to the fun. The kids spent the day at a petting zoo, jumping on inflatables, making crafts, winning prizes at bingo, playing outdoor games, and finally talking one on one wi
th a junior higher about the Gospel. I was excited because this year I was pretty sure we had several kids that weren't Christians, or at least didn't fully understand the Gospel. It was so great to talk to those kids on the way home and hear everything they learned. They were all SO excited!The day lasted 6 hours, and we were all pretty exhausted by the time we got on the most. Most of the kids (and leaders, haha) fell asleep on the bus ride home. In all it was an amazingly fun and successful day. I'm kinda sad its over.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I am missing my mom. With everything going on in my life right now, I wish I had some stability around me, which is what she is for me. Frank and Carisa have been out of town for the last 10 days and I have been staying at the house with Kirsten. Its been really fun to have someone around and to not eat dinner alone. Frank and Carisa come back on Monday, so Kirsten and I are going to try and clean the house really well tomorrow. I'm still feeling really overwhelmed with everything...planning after-school trips and parties and ALL the summer stuff while still trying to figure out if I am going to even be here in the fall. I'm trying to take things one day at a time, but I get a little worried that things are going to catch up to me. This verse in Matthew is what I am trying to hold on to..."Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew 6:34
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Field Trip!
I am so proud of Linda!! We had a wonderful time on the field trip today and I was reminded just how wonderful and special she really is.Our day started by getting up at 5:30 a.m. to be at the school at 6:15. We were at school on time, but the buses weren't. In fact, we didn't leave the school until almost 8:30!! All of the kids handled the delay really well, which I was very impressed with. It took about 3 hours to get to DC, and everyone had fun on the bus and was pretty well behaved. Linda and I were pretty tired so we actually both slept a bit on the ride down.
When we arrived in DC we drove past the Capitol building and then headed to the White House. From there we visited the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. All of the kids were fascinated that Martin Luther King Jr. has once stood at the Lincoln Memorial. We ate lunch at the Lincoln Memorial and then headed back to the buses to go to the Air and Space Museum. We spent about 2 hours there, and that was when I was most impressed with Linda.
It was
pretty hot outside, and we had to walk A LOT, but she didn't complain at all (and I'm pretty sure she was the only one...seriously). Then, while we were in the museum she was actually very interested in everything! All of the other girls in our group (I had 5 girls total with me, all from Linda's class) were trying to get through as fast as possible so they could buy ice cream. Linda, however, wanted to stop at every exhibit and learn as much as she could. She was like a kid in a candy store, but she was in a museum! I was SO IMPRESSED!!! I had a blast walking around and learning with her. I was so impressed, in fact, that I am trying to figure out a way to make another trip to DC with her so we can see more things and she will actually have the time to see the things that she wants to see without having to listen to the complaining of her classmates.After we finished at the museum we all headed to a buffet for dinner, and from there headed home. In all, we didn't get to see a whole lot, but its a hard trip to do in a day, especially when you have an entire 6th grade to take care of. Linda and I had a blast though, and that's all that really matters to me.
I was actually a bit heartbroken as we were driving home and I started thinking about how excited Linda was to learn. I really wish I could home school her, or get her in
to a Christian school that would take her away from a lot of the negative influences around her. Linda is VERY affected by her environment and I really wonder how different things would be for her if she didn't have to go to a Philadelphia public school. As much fun as she and I had today, I can't count the number of times I heard attitude given to authority or vulgar language coming out of a kid's mouth. It really broke my heart to think about how difficult it mush be for her to grow into the woman she was created to be when most of the time she is surrounded by that. Its not any better at home for her either. That is making the idea of leaving Philly, or even stepping back from ministry even harder and harder to grasp.On that subject, I finally have my resume finished and have applied for a few jobs. All of this is feeling VERY overwhelming to me, but I'm still pursuing it, until God tells me otherwise. More than anything I am continuing to seek His wisdom and direction. Honestly, I still feel pretty lost, but I don't feel like He has abandoned me, so even if I am walking in the wrong direction, I know He will gently place me on the path that He has for me. Please keep praying though, its just so much!!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Music Recital
Last night was Bonita and Linda's final music recital, and they both were AMAZING!! I was so surprised by how awesome they were, especially since they don't practice much. Linda played a trumpet solo and Bonita played piano. There were several other Cornerstone kids there, and they all did really well...but of course Bonita and Linda were my favorites. :)
I'm really excited about tomorrow because I am going on an all day field trip with Linda to Washington, DC!!! It is going to be so much fun! I really enjoy Linda's teacher (she's about my age) and I have already met a lot of the students in her class, so it really should be a great trip. We have to be at school at 6 a.m., though, which I am not too excited about. It will be great to spend the whole day with Linda, and she has never been to DC.
As for everything else, its still very much up in the air. I put my resume together and have been looking around for jobs in Philly that I might be interested/qualified for, but I'm still taking it slow. I'll keep you updated though! :)
I'm really excited about tomorrow because I am going on an all day field trip with Linda to Washington, DC!!! It is going to be so much fun! I really enjoy Linda's teacher (she's about my age) and I have already met a lot of the students in her class, so it really should be a great trip. We have to be at school at 6 a.m., though, which I am not too excited about. It will be great to spend the whole day with Linda, and she has never been to DC.
As for everything else, its still very much up in the air. I put my resume together and have been looking around for jobs in Philly that I might be interested/qualified for, but I'm still taking it slow. I'll keep you updated though! :)
Monday, May 7, 2007
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Picnic and Sleepover
Last night was another really fun night with some wonderful girls!! I invited 6 girls, M, T, J and C, (I'm trying to do better about keeping the kids' privacy as much as possible...) along with Bonita and Linda, to come to a sleepover at my house. Kirsten came for most of the night, but she is allergic to Gizmo so she didn't stay the night. 2 of the girls, J and C, have been wanting to spend the night for a long time and I decided to finally do it. J has been struggling a lot over the last few months and I have been wanting to spend some time with her. Honestly, I didn't think I could relate a lot to her struggles (she is pretty boy crazy), but the more I get to know her the more I do see myself in her.Unfortunately, J got in trouble at school on Friday...she was actually suspended...so her mom didn't let her come to the sleepover. Her mom and I were both very sad about this, but I am going to try and spend some one on one time with her next week. And actually, it was nice to get to spend time with C without J being around. C is the youngest child in the house and is often overlooked. Plus, I am starting to see a lot of characteristics in C that are very much like J, and I don't want her to face the same stuggles that J does, so I want to try and spend some good time with her as well.
Our night started with a picnic at the park. Kirsten made us an awesome picnic basket with sandwiches, fruit, chips and drinks. We all ate until we were full and then played for hours. We even took Bower (The Hinson's dog...they are on vacation) with us! He was really fun, at least for me. He didn't want to behave with any of the kids, but he and 
I had a really good time walking around and getting some good exercise! The girls ran around playing on the swings, walking on rocks, and overall just being really silly. There was a lot of laughter, and a ton of fun. It was so great!Once it got dark we decided to head home. At home the girls literally ran through the house for over an hour, laughing hysterically and having so much fun. They also wrote a rap that they performed for us, and it was really good! I made them all "go to bed" around 11, but they stayed up much later than that. I heard laughter for over an hour after I put them to bed, which was fine with me. They all had a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the night as well.
Overall it was an amazing night that I am hoping to repeat as often a possible. Nights like last night really remind me of how much I really love what I do. And, I begin to wonder what will happen to these girls if I leave. I still haven't made any decisions, but I have been seeking the Lord A LOT. I will probably write more about that later, but I still don't have any answers yet. I trust Him completley though...with my life and theirs.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Answered Prayer!
I only have a few minutes to write, and I promise to add on to this post later tonight, but I had to share this incredible news with you! God is AMAZING!!
There is a family in our church that I, and many others, are extremely close to. It is a family of 6 kids (actually 8, but 2 are out of the house). This family has been through a lot over the last few months. Their father passed away suddenly a few months ago, and I am not sure any of them...least of all the mom...have recovered. In recent months the mom has gone into a deep depression, leaving the kids to fend for themselves in many ways. The kids have struggled in school, and often have chosen to not even go. The oldest of the kids just turned 18, while the youngest is 8. The 2 youngest, ages 11 and 8, are the only girls and have had a really hard time as they are so young.
Just last week things got worse when they were evicted from their house. The kids have been split up, staying with their 2 older sisters in different houses. This has made going to school even more difficult, and life has just been really hard for them. Just last night all the boys were at a prayer time at church crying out to God for a house.
Well, today God answered their cries. THEY GOT A HOUSE!!!! Its absolutely a miracle of God that this house is available to them, but that's what God does! Some members of our staff have been working with the family and the kids are all back in school and going regularly. When they went to apply for the house, the man told them that every red flag that he could possibly look for was coming up and that there really was no reason for him to let them move in...but he just felt like he couldn't say no. So, he is renting them the house!!!
This house is bigger than their old one, with more bedrooms and a finished basement. Their old house had 4 teenage boys sharing one small room, but not anymore!! It looks like they may even be able to move in this weekend! PRAISE GOD!!
We are working on getting beds and furniture for them (which I can actually help out a lot with considering all the extra furniture I got when Dario, Luis, Bonita and Linda moved in) and its all coming together so much better than we could have ever dreamed. (Which again is just who God is!). I am in awe of how much He loves this family and is taking care of them. Each one of the kids in incredible and I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they hear the incredible news!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!
There is a family in our church that I, and many others, are extremely close to. It is a family of 6 kids (actually 8, but 2 are out of the house). This family has been through a lot over the last few months. Their father passed away suddenly a few months ago, and I am not sure any of them...least of all the mom...have recovered. In recent months the mom has gone into a deep depression, leaving the kids to fend for themselves in many ways. The kids have struggled in school, and often have chosen to not even go. The oldest of the kids just turned 18, while the youngest is 8. The 2 youngest, ages 11 and 8, are the only girls and have had a really hard time as they are so young.
Just last week things got worse when they were evicted from their house. The kids have been split up, staying with their 2 older sisters in different houses. This has made going to school even more difficult, and life has just been really hard for them. Just last night all the boys were at a prayer time at church crying out to God for a house.
Well, today God answered their cries. THEY GOT A HOUSE!!!! Its absolutely a miracle of God that this house is available to them, but that's what God does! Some members of our staff have been working with the family and the kids are all back in school and going regularly. When they went to apply for the house, the man told them that every red flag that he could possibly look for was coming up and that there really was no reason for him to let them move in...but he just felt like he couldn't say no. So, he is renting them the house!!!
This house is bigger than their old one, with more bedrooms and a finished basement. Their old house had 4 teenage boys sharing one small room, but not anymore!! It looks like they may even be able to move in this weekend! PRAISE GOD!!
We are working on getting beds and furniture for them (which I can actually help out a lot with considering all the extra furniture I got when Dario, Luis, Bonita and Linda moved in) and its all coming together so much better than we could have ever dreamed. (Which again is just who God is!). I am in awe of how much He loves this family and is taking care of them. Each one of the kids in incredible and I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they hear the incredible news!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Job Search
I am looking for a job. That's right, for the first time ever (unless you count summer jobs), I am doing a job hunt. After talking with some mentors and other people I have decided to at least pursue a "real" job. I haven't made any decisions yet...whether I am going to seek a part-time job or a full-time one, but I am at least starting the process. The more people I talked to the more it seems that God may in fact be leading me away from full time support raised ministry.
Obviously, if I do actually decide to leave full time ministry, a lot will change in my life, so I am not taking this decision lightly. I am not 100% convinced that this is where God is leading me, but it does appear to be a good possibility. So, I am going with it for now and continually seeking Him and His direction.
I honestly don't know how I feel about all of this yet. The idea of having to cut back on what I do now is not appealing to me, but will be necessary if I decide to get a job. I don't even know how to decide what I would cut back on, but that's for a later time. I am pretty set on staying in Philly, although that is not in stone either. I do have a lot tying me to the city (my house, the girls, etc) but I want to follow wherever God leads me.
I wanted to write this quickly to update you on where I am, but as you can see, I am still very up in the air with things. Just keep praying that I will clearly hear Him and follow Him! If I am completely honest, I really want to stay in full time ministry, but that may not be the season that God has me in right now. We'll see...
Obviously, if I do actually decide to leave full time ministry, a lot will change in my life, so I am not taking this decision lightly. I am not 100% convinced that this is where God is leading me, but it does appear to be a good possibility. So, I am going with it for now and continually seeking Him and His direction.
I honestly don't know how I feel about all of this yet. The idea of having to cut back on what I do now is not appealing to me, but will be necessary if I decide to get a job. I don't even know how to decide what I would cut back on, but that's for a later time. I am pretty set on staying in Philly, although that is not in stone either. I do have a lot tying me to the city (my house, the girls, etc) but I want to follow wherever God leads me.
I wanted to write this quickly to update you on where I am, but as you can see, I am still very up in the air with things. Just keep praying that I will clearly hear Him and follow Him! If I am completely honest, I really want to stay in full time ministry, but that may not be the season that God has me in right now. We'll see...
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