Its Halloween!

I spent last night (after Kids Club) walking through the 5th scariest Haunted House in the United States. It really was scary; and so much fun!!! I went last year and had a blast and I have decided to make Haunted Houses a yearly thing. I enjoy them almost as much as I do Amusement Parks! I went with a group of friends and we all had fun laughing at one another being scared for about an hour. Why is it fun to be scared? I don't know...but it is! Actually, I don't like actually being scared, which is probably why I like Haunted Houses. Its not real fear, its just fun! The 3rd scariest Haunted House in America is right outside Philly and includes a Haunted Corn Maze. Since I think corn mazes themselves are scary (even in the daylight), it should be really fun! Can't wait for next year!

Tonight will be the first Halloween in 3 years that I am not with the girls. I'm not really upset about it, I am really looking forward to a night off! (I cancelled Prayer Pals). The girls are going to dress up as boys (wearing their brothers' clothes), which I think is really cool. On a side note, Miguel is going as an M&M which I think will be the cutest thing ever! Hopefully I will at least get to see him.

This week is a very busy week with clubs and Revolve this weekend. I'm getting a cold which I hope will be gone by Friday. I really want to be able to pour into the girls this weekend. Next week won't be nearly as busy (I hope!) so I am hoping to put off my household needs until then.

Gizmo Standing Guard

Why is Gizmo standing guard? Well, if you remember I have no ceiling in my kitchen right now. I also live next door to an abandoned house. The weather is getting colder, which means mice are indoors. They are next door. They are trying to get in my house. However, when they get to my house...there is no ceiling for them to run on so they fall to the floor!!

So far only one has made that mistake, and Gizmo took care of that one very fast. Unfortunately, I discovered this phenomenon the same time I discovered that my overflowing toilet had leaked through the bathroom floor...onto the kitchen floor. Gizmo didn't warn me of the water or the mouse...I think he enjoyed watching me slip and scream at the same time. :)

All the water has been cleaned up (thank goodness Bonita, Linda, Monique and Tasha all have their own bath and beach towels at my house!), and the mouse is taken care of as well. I have heard some rustling in the walls but, as you can see, Gizmo is standing guard to make sure no mouse gets through. I am hoping the first mouse's death will be sufficient warning for any others to stay away. We'll see... :)

Its been an interesting day!

Oh, and say what you will about Gizmo being fat and spoiled, but nothing compares to my parents' dog. :)

Busy...or boring?

It has been a VERY long time since I have written! Usually that means that I have either been very busy, or that I have nothing exciting going on. This time its a little of both. Other than the usual clubs and work I haven't had a whole lot going on.

I did head down to VA this weekend for a surprise visit with my family. I actually got the chance to surprise each of them individually and it was really fun. My mom was the only one home when I got there and it took a few seconds to register in her head who I was. The look on her face was priceless. :) Next came my dad who called to talk to my mom and I answered the phone. He thought he dialed the wrong number at first before realizing that I was in VA. I did the same thing to my brother, haha. Apparently I have a very recognizable voice since my dad and brother immediately knew it was me on the phone...they just weren't sure why I was there. :) My face is apparently less recognizable, however, since my mom didn't seem to know it was me when she first saw me. It was a fun day!

So, I spent the weekend hanging out and relaxing with the family. We did some work around the house...though honestly my mom did most of it. I did help open difficult windows and carry some heavy things after my dad left. We spent most of the weekend just hanging out, though, and it was nice. Of course, Saturday was filled with mostly football which is always fun. I had some great conversations with everyone and even got some alone time with my brother on our way to and from KFC...and then on our way back again when we realized they messed up our order. In all...a pretty boring but good weekend.

Now I am back in Philly and have hit the ground running. I have a lot of AIM work to do this week as well as my normal Cornerstone stuff. Plus, this Friday and Saturday we are taking a group of 25 teen and pre-teen girls (including Bonita and Linda!) to the Revolve Tour (basically Women of Faith for young women). I have invited all of them to spend the night at my house in Friday (since we have to be up and ready to go by 8 a.m. Saturday), which means I need to do A LOT of cleaning and rearranging of things in my house this week. I'm not sure it will all get done, but I am going to try!!!

Long Week...

This is such a long week. I can't believe its only Wednesday!! I don't know why it seems so long...it hasn't been a bad week and I haven't been overwhelmingly busy, but for some reason I feel like it should at least be Friday, if not later. Oh well. So, here is a recap of the week so far...

As you see from my last post we went to Olive Garden on Sunday to celebrate Miguel's birthday. It was pretty fun, but it took 3 hours for us to get out food, eat and then get home...the service was VERY slow. Obviously, the kids kept themselves (and us) entertained.

Monday night was God Squad and it went really well! I was nervous at first because we had a lot of teens there and it was starting to feel a little crazy. It all went well though and I had a great time in my small group. Dale's brother continues to come to God Squad and Teen Club, which has been really cool.

Kids Club also continues to grow. I think we had about 75 kids this week...10 of whom turned in permission slips and 14 of whom were new visitors. It was crazy!! I felt pretty unprepared this week, so I didn't think it went as well as it could have, but everyone else seems to think its going well. It's still a lot of fun!!

Tonight was Prayer Pals and the theme of the week continues...we had a ton of kids there! It got a little crazy with only 2 leaders there and some of the kids were a little wild. Overall it was good though and I'm glad to have so many kids...attendance was low over the summer.

So, nothing exciting but that's my week so far! :) The next few weeks should have some more exciting things to report... :)

Some Pics

I know I haven't posted in a while, sorry about that. I will try and actually write something later, but for now I wanted to post some pictures from our birthday celebration for Miguel on Sunday. I can't believe he's 10!!!

Cancer

Cancer is one of the scariest diseases of all time. While we have been researching it for decades, there is still no way to 100% avoid cancer. We can 100% prevent AIDs. Even malaria is preventable and treatable and could easily be eliminated, like smallpox, if we could get the right people the right medicine and protection. With cancer we have discovered ways to lower our risk, but everything I have read always goes back to, "some cancers are unpreventable. Many are untreatable". We can avoid smoking, stay out of the sun, eat right and exercise our entire lives and still get cancer. That is scary. Every year, in America, there are approximately 1.5 million NEW cases of cancer (skin cancer is not included in that statistic...not sure why).

What is cancer? Cancer is basically a mutation of normal cells. Often mutated cells just doe of, however on occasion they do not and in fact create more mutated cells. When the mutated cells make more mutated cells eventually the mutated cells start to take over the normal cells and thus cancer. Sometimes those cells mass together in a certain body tissue and form a tumor. Other times the cells just wreak havoc in the bone marrow or blood stream. Either way, the mutated cells begin to take over the body and the normal cells have no defense.

What is the cancer in my life? The mutated crap that takes over the truth of Christ? The junk that overtakes God's goodness? The ugliness that hides Christ's goodness?

Cancer is not easy to treat. The mutated cells have to be killed off, and in the process many of good cells are killed off. It is a long, difficult and often painful process...one mutated cell isn't going to kill you, but thousands of them will. People can be cured of cancer. If they are willing to go through the process of chemo and radiation...if they are willing to get sicker before they get better, people can be completely cured of cancer.

Am I willing?

No Idea...

While cooking dinner tonight in the kitchen I kept hearing a noise above me. I didn't think much of it and continued cooking. Then, I looked up and saw this. How funny is my cat?!? He makes me smile. :)

I have no idea what else to write, so I'll go for now. Later!

Quick One

Last night was a really good night.Bonita and Linda spent the night and we had a really great time. We got home from Prayer Pals around 7:30 and they still had homework to do. We sat at the dining room table and ate dinner together while doing homework. I was able to explain their homework to them in a way that they actually understood. They both got VERY excited once they realized they could do their homework. They started out very confused saying they couldn't do their homework. After I explained how to do it, they both finished their homework on their own...and very enthusiastically!

I miss Bonita and Linda. I miss After-School.

Prayer Pals was really good last night as well with 22 kids showing up! It was a bit chaotic, but it was good. Things are a little different now. Its weird to not work with someone. I mean, I have help at things, but no one that really loves the kids and misses certain ones when they are gone...or gets really excited with me when kids come back. Wait, there is someone who is even more excited than I am...never mind. :)

Single in the City

I watch a lot of "Friends" on dvd. Recently I have also gotten into "Sex and the City" on tv. (Before you judge me...its VERY censored on network tv, and its all about single women, so I can relate). In both of those shows the main characters were well into their 30's before they ever really thought about marriage. Rachel (played by Jennifer Aniston) had her first child at 33. The first character in Sex and the City to have a child was 37.

In real life, celebrities are having babies well into their late 30's and even early 40's. Halle Berry is 41 and having her first child. Jennifer Anitson is 38 and not ready to think about having a child. Jennifer Garner was 34 when she had her first child. Julia Roberts had twins at 37 and just had another child at 40.

So, why do people make me feel like an old maid for not being married at 27? I am 27!!! I mean seriously!!! Not to mention, I am really happy. I LOVE being single right now!! We had 80 kids at Kids Club tonight!!! We keep getting more and more kids each week, and we aren't really losing any. That's AWESOME! And, I'm having fun at Kids Club!! In my life, I get to do all kinds of things that I would never be able to do if I was married. I went to Africa for 3 weeks last winter. I wake up and go to bed when I want. I get to hang out with the greatest kids and teens in the world. I have 8 god children that I LOVE. This is NOT to say that marriage is less desirable to being single...I'm just saying that there are benefits to being single, and I am enjoying those benefits!

For the first time in my life, I choose pop culture over Christian culture. Pop culture tells me that I can be exactly who I am, married or single. Pop culture tells me that I am just as valuable as a single woman as I would be as a married woman.

Christian culture tells me that my highest calling is as a wife and/or a mom. Christian culture tells me that I am not fulfilling my calling as a woman as long as I am neither a wife nor a mom. Christian culture views single hood as purgatory...not quite hell but not nearly as good as heaven; or marriage.

I hate that. Its not even scriptural. It is very clear in scripture that God has a plan for wives and mothers...and for the rest of us. In fact, Paul says that single hood is the most desirable. So I'm going to ignore Christian culture, and embrace Pop culture...at least in this area. Really, I'm just going to ignore people and embrace God.

Things are NOT perfect right now, but I still love my life. I started biting my nails again, I have a ridiculous eye twitch that is probably from stress and I contracted some sort of poison ivy or something on my arm that is driving me crazy. I don't have time to do much for myself throughout the week. I want to go to the gym, but I am too exhausted in the mornings; I literally drag myself out of bed to get to work. And when I get home at night...exhausted. I am working about 60 hours a week and its not all things that I love to do. I don't leave my house until after 2 p.m. everyday, which means I don't see another human being until then...and in most cases, when I do interact with people its in a ministry capacity, not a friendship one. I'm alone a lot...not necessarily lonely, but definitely alone. And, I am still missing after-school, a lot. Things are not perfect..some things in my life need to change. Marriage will not change those things. And the bottom line is...even though things are hard, I love my life. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Exactly where I want to be. And, slowly but surely, I am becoming the person I was created to be.

Should I want something else?

Emotional Day

Today was kind of a strange day full of pretty much every emotion in the book. It started with Dale's funeral. There were a ton of people at the funeral and it was truly a celebration of his life. His immediate family struggled a lot and the only way I can describe the scene is to picture what the bible talks about...people wailing and mourning. It was heartbreaking to watch the family suffer, but as we spent time in the Word and talking about Dale's life we could do nothing but rejoice and praise God for where Dale is now.

It was kind of difficult for those of us that knew Dale from Cornerstone, though. Dale sang in the choir of another church (we don't have a choir) and the funeral was held at that church. Many people that knew Dale from that church told stories about Dale, but we didn't get the chance. I hope we do something to remember Dale at our church service tomorrow.

The hardest part for me was mourning with the teens. Several months ago the father of several of our teens passes away and I struggled at the funeral seeing how deeply hurt they were. This time, they were hurt and so was I. That was really hard, and not something any of us will get over any time soon.

After the funeral (which lasted a ridiculous 2.5 hours) we got some lunch and then I went home for about an hour to rest. I was completely exhausted. Around 3:30 Brooke and I picked up several kids along with 2 of the teens to go paint pumpkins!! We had SO much fun digging the goop our of the pumpkins (not all of the kids enjoyed that part) and then painting them. Carisa came over and took a ton of great pictures and we all had a BLAST!!
After the pumpkin painting Brooke and I, along with Shera, Joy, J and Dominique headed to see the movie "Gameplan". Its a somewhat cheesy movie, but I enjoyed it...I especially appreciated that it was an appropriate movie that I would even take kids to see. It was a nice way to just escape for a little while. After the movie we got some ice cream and talked and laughed for hours. It was a really fun time with friends and a nice way to end a very emotional day.

I'm going to write a book!!!!

After a long and very interesting conversation tonight with several of my friends; I have decided to write a book. It is clear that there are things the world needs to know, and of course, I need to be the one telling them. Since I have recently unearthed the governmental plot to drive me insane (that's right, this apparently goes much higher than just my block...how else can you explain being summoned to jury duty twice in the same month), I figure I have nothing to lose with this book. It is still in the planning stages, but here are the first few chapters:

Chapter 1: The Masses Got Dumber
-this chapter will discuss how many of the greatest novels of all time (To Kill a Mockingbird, anything by Alice Walker), have been replaced by ridiculous stories that are sometimes told well, but have no real value. What was the last great (non Harry Potter) novel written? Who is today's great writer that will leave a mark for tomorrow? What happened to all the great African American writers that inspired an entire generation of blacks and whites toward something greater than themselves?

Chapter 2: We give 'em crap
-this will be a chapter about music and how it has become crap. Music used to be a means of expression and often bringing about social change. Even the gangsta rap era at least exposed the culture to the realities of inner city life. Music today is not only pointless in lyrics, but seriously devoid of musicality.

Chapter 3: The Whorification of the American Woman
-the title pretty much speaks for itself. We have gone from asking to be treated as equals to demanding to be treated as sex objects. That just doesn't make sense.

Chapter 4: How "Bratz" ruined the world.
-I was on the debate team in high school and I am pretty sure I can link the Bratz dolls to global warming as well as the genocide in Darfur. If nothing else, this chapter will discuss how we have quite literally thrown our daughters to the wolves in the name of modernization and feminism. Its disgusting.

Chapter 5: Guns kill, stop denying it...it makes you look stupid.
-Look into the eyes of a child who has been shot and explain to me why you should be allowed to buy a semi automatic assault rifle for deer hunting. The constitution protects your right to own a gun, when you are PROTECTING the people of your country. If you aren't doing that, you don't need a gun.

Chapter 6: F*** is not an adjective
-you can tell me you are smart until you're blue in the face but if you can't finish a sentence without using an expletive, I'm not going to listen.

That's as far as I have gotten. I will keep you updated as the book develops and I promise to inform you of any new chapters that I add. I know for sure that I want to cover the embarrassment that is most reality television (way to take a great idea and turn it to utter filth in less than a decade), the lack of integrity and considerable self seeking in most politicians, and of course, "why roosters should only be allowed to live on farms".

Oh, and the Epilogue will be titled: "Operation Insane Asylum". The world has to know. :)

Conspiracy

There is a conspiracy developing against me on my block. I don't want to give away too many details but it appears that there is a block wide conspiracy with the goal of driving me absolutely insane. Before you laugh off my theory, here is the evidence.

It started with the guys who like to blare their car stereos while they work on their cars. Doesn't sound too bad until you realize that their cars are parked directly in front of my house and their favorite time to work is early Saturday morning. Next came the ridiculously loud music my neighbors play in their house. I can't really hear the music, but the sub woofers make sure I can hear, and feel, the beat of the music. There is no rhyme or reason to the time the music starts or the duration it lasts. I actually prefer it at night because that's when I can wear earplugs and take NyQuil to help me sleep. However, they seem to prefer the daylight hours when I am sitting at my desk trying to work. Today I listened to the same beat for 3 hours straight. I'm pretty sure that is the same tactic the FBI uses to torture terrorists.

Then there are the hundreds of dogs that suddenly live on the block. Okay, hundreds is probably an exaggeration, but I would say that there are at least 25 pit bulls living on my block...of about 20 houses. (Tell me there is no dog fighting in the city...). Anyway, these dogs LOVE to bark at one another and whine when left alone. I am not exaggerating when I say that I see a new dog chained to a railing every day when I walk out of my house...and none of the dogs are quiet.

The music started my suspicions of a conspiracy and the dogs heightened my awareness. I wasn't 100% convinced until today...the day the rooster moved in. That's right, in the middle of Kensington in the city of Philadelphia I have a real live, early rising rooster living on my block. There is no denying it, something sinister is going on. My neighbors have banded together to slowly but surely drive me out of my mind.

Why they want me to leave, I don't know. I like most of my neighbors and they are always very nice to me. They even do a great job taking care of me; helping me carry my groceries, keeping an eye on my house when I'm away, etc. We have great conversations about life and I enjoy playing with their kids. They always smile and say hello and notice when I have been away for a while. It seems like such a great place to live. Apparently that is all just a cover for their secret plan. I'm calling it Operation Insane Asylum.

I'm trying to gear myself up for the next attack, but they are very sneaky and I have no idea what they might try next. I have considered the possibility of a counter strike in the near future.; 4 a.m. hanging of pictures? Maybe if I just let them know that I am on to them, they will back off. I don't think they scare easily though...

Hmmm...I think their tactics might be working...I may in fact be slowly going insane. :)

Life Goes On

Things are getting very busy for me. AIM work is picking up and Cornerstone clubs are back in full swing. We had 60 kids at Kids Club last night, almost 20 of whom were brand new visitors!!! I really enjoyed Kids Club, although when I am up front I still feel like Bambi trying to walk with his legs very unsteady.

I am discovering that I really don't like doing things half way. Once I jump into something, I'm all in it. I always kinda knew this about myself, but Kids Club has made it glaringly obvious. I originally planned on just trying to come up with lessons and teaching them without passing out or throwing up. Now, I'm all in. I'm not sure what all of this means...especially since I don't know what Carisa's plans are for the future. In addition, I am EXTREMELY busy and its only going to get worse and I don't think I can last at this level for too long...and there is no sign of me being able to quit my part time job anytime soon.

I also have discovered that I HATE not having after-school. I miss the kids so badly, and as lame as it sounds, I feel like something is missing from my life without after-school. It has been my heart and passion for so long, and it didn't end because I lost my passion for it. I am really working toward starting after-school back up next fall, Lord willing. That would definitely not leave me any time for Kids Club...especially if I am still working then. As you can see, there are SO many things up in the air, and my mind races to those things WAY too often. I am trying to take things one day at a time...but as usual that is easier said than done. :)

I don't get to see Bonita and Linda nearly as much as I am used to (which I really don't like!!), but when I do see them they are so much fun! Yesterday at Kids Club Linda triumphantly announced to everyone that she is so excited to be learning to play the trombone. Unfortunately, she doesn't play the trombone, she plays the trumpet. :) They really make me laugh a lot.

My roommate from the summer, Brooke, is here visiting for the week and it has been so great having her around. Shoot, I spend 90% of my day alone in my house, so really its great to have anyone around. :) Today she and I, along with 2 of the teens, went to see another teen play volleyball. Her team won and we all had a blast at the game. One of the teens, T, is a huge answer to prayer. She is AMAZING (that word isn't even good enough to describe her) and I love spending time with her. She is quiet...or at least she used to be. She is opening up a lot. Her mom used to not like our church much, but seems to have changed her mind recently. She even allowed me to take T out of school early so she could go to the volleyball game with me. T and I also spent a lot of time together on the God Squad retreat and she helps me at Kids Club on Tuesday nights. I am so excited about the relationship we are developing!!!

In other good news, my dad gets to keep all of his finger!! He went to the doctor and the reattachment worked and his finger is healing well. Yay!! I also just found out that my friend Catherine might come and visit me with her new baby!!! I have been so excited to meet her son I can hardly stand it and it looks like they might come in December. Catherine and I have been friends since 1st grade and I always love seeing her; I am SO excited!!! Catherine is also Linda's Prayer Pal, so Linda is pretty excited too.

In the midst of my busy schedule I have not made much time for sleep, and even less time for exercise...both of which are things that I LOVE to do (I still manage to get some TV in though, haha. I HIGHLY recommend the new show Pushing Daisies!!). I am going to try and work on that...which means I should probably go now. Good Night!

In Shock

I just returned from our God Squad retreat and we had a great time. I wish I could write all about that, but my heart is heavy and I am in shock. We found out today that one of our teens, Dale, was killed yesterday. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but apparently his mom and brother got into a fight and he stepped in. His brother ended up stabbing him and his mother, killing Dale and seriously injuring his mom.

We got the news while we were at the retreat and immediately shared it with the teens. Everyone was...is...in shock. Dale has been around for years. He participated in our first teen mission trip to North Carolina in 2005 and then went with us to Mississippi on our Katrina relief trip a few months later. I still have wonderful pictures and videos of the night we were stuck in the Dallas airport on our way to Mississippi. We couldn't sleep so a group of us, including Dale, stayed up all night having fun as we ran free in the almost deserted airport.Several of our teens and leaders were very close to Dale and his death is very hard to take. This is a first for me. I know many of our kids and teens who have relatives that have been killed, I have never known a murder victim personally. It hit home and hit hard. As I heard the news I looked around at all the other teens that I love and I just cried. I can't be sad for Dale, he is exactly where I desperately wish I was. I am sad for us, though, the people who miss him and missed out on what God could do through Him. And I admit I'm a little scared. I love the kids and teens here more than I ever thought I could...and this could very easily happen again.

Jesus, we miss Dale but we get it, you couldn't stand to be apart from him any longer. Thank you for sharing him with us, especially for the laughter he brought. Hold him in your arms and enjoy your son.
Here is an article written about what happened:

In Philly: Brother is held in fatal stabbing of NE man
By CHRISTINE OLLEY

A family squabble over money turned deadly yesterday in Northeast Philadelphia when a man stabbed his 19-year-old brother to death and wounded their mother.

Police said Dale Wilson was stabbed in the chest, back and an arm at about 12:15 p.m. yesterday inside his home on Greeby Street near Summerdale Avenue. He died at Albert Einstein Medical Center shortly before 1 p.m.

Wilson's mother, identified by neighbors as Barbara, was stabbed in the right thigh during the argument, police said. She also was taken to Einstein, where she remained in stable condition last night.

"When she wakes up from this nightmare, she's going to be devastated," said one neighbor, who declined to give her name.

Homicide Sgt. Bob Wilkins, said Wilson's brother was in police custody last night but that no charges had been filed.

The slaying was one of two this weekend that followed arguments. The other involved 21-year-old Davey Guzman, who died at Temple University Hospital at 10:30 p.m. Friday shortly after being shot in the head at F Street and Allegheny Avenue in North Philadelphia. (This happened 2 blocks from my house)

Yesterday, on Greeby Street, Wilson's house was dark and no one answered the door.

Neighbors said Wilson was a college freshman, but they didn't know where he attended school. They said Wilson's brother sporadically came to his mother's Northeast Philadelphia home with his 1-year-old son.

"It's awful. I mean people sometimes have arguments and such but to take it that far over some money, that's a bit much," said a man who declined to give his name.

The slaying marked the third tragedy the block has seen in less than a year

Block Party and the Loss of part of a Finger...

Today was the biggest outreach of the year for us, and as far as I can tell it was a huge success!! My day started with a trip to the gym where I walked for about 4 miles on the treadmill. I had a lot on my mind and just walked as I processed it. I would have run, but I haven't gotten to the point where I can run without a lot of effort, and if I was having to worry about the effort I was putting out, I wouldn't have been able to think. Make sense? Haha, so I didn't run, I walked...and walked and walked. At least I wasn't sitting on the couch!

After my walk I headed home to get ready for the block party. Originally I was going to pick up Bonita and Linda but they decided they didn't want to go, so I took Pedro and Miguel instead. I worked the whole time at the block party, so I didn't see them much, but they had a good time. We got to the block party early to help set up and then I spent my entire day at the giant inflatable obstacle course. I really loved watching the kids laugh as they tried to maneuver through the obstacle course and didn't even notice the time until almost 6. We had 2 inflatables, pizza, hot dogs, sno cones, popcorn, carnival games, music, a basketball tournament...so much stuff! We even had a raffle for an ipod giveaway!! I didn't get to see much besides the inflatable, but everyone I saw seemed to be smiling, so that's a good sign.

At 6:00 we had a concert where Da Truth, a christian hip hop artist, performed. He was amazing and everyone really enjoyed him, especially the teens!! Pedro, Miguel and I stayed around for a while to help clean up but had to head out around 7:30. Walking 4 miles in the morning and then standing for 5 hours straight just about did me in, so I headed home. Well, first I went to the grocery store because I literally have next to nothing to eat in my house.

The entire time at the block party the gospel was being proclaimed over the speakers as well as in one on one conversations. I'm not really sure how to judge the success of a block party, but I know the truth and love of Christ was spoken and shared, so that has to make it a success!!

So, now I am at my house sitting down and trying to prepare for Kids Club on Tuesday. I am leaving tomorrow morning for the God Squad retreat and won't be back until Monday night...and I have to work on Tuesday so I don't know when I will have time to get my lesson done. As usual, I have no idea what I am going to say or how I am going to say it...but I am at least starting with prayer this time. We'll see how it goes.

Oh, and as for the "Loss of part of a Finger"; when I got home tonight I called my parents to check on the Tech game and my mom informed me that my dad had an accident earlier in which he lost part of his pinkie finger. They managed to reattach it, but there is only 50/50 chance that the reattachment will take. My mom didn't seem overly concerned and I didn't get to talk to my dad, so I guess everything is okay. Things have been difficult for my parents over the last few months...my dad in NC with my mom in VA, not being able to sell the house, and now this. Please pray for them. Its times like this that I feel really guilty living in Philadelphia...

Alright, I'm off to do my laundry and then hopefully get to sleep early. Carisa has been sick for the last few days and I may have to teach Sunday School in the morning. No idea what I will talk about there either, but that's apparently how I work. :)

A laugh

First thing this morning, Gizmo fell in the toilet while trying to jump onto the sink. Its going to be a good day...

The Romance

I feel like I am living in a never ending romantic drama, and I'm tired of it. Let me explain:

We've all seen romantic dramas (I love them). Titanic and The Notebook are examples. Two people meet and at some point (usually pretty quickly) we realize that they are meant to be together. However, soon after we realize their destiny, obstacles get in the way. Things start out great, but then they get complicated. The lovers go through ups and downs and as the viewer we get frustrated, and a little nervous. Are they going to end up together? We watch as pride gets in the way of one admitting they are wrong or the other letting go of the hurt. We watch the lovers make ridiculous decisions and wonder (out loud if you are me, haha); "what are you thinking?!?" (Of course, many of us have made the same mistakes they have).

(Romantic Comedies are very similar except that the obstacles are funny and seem less intense to us. While at times I feel like I am the butt of cosmic jokes and enjoy laughing at the things going on in my life, there is way too much drama in my life for this to be a romantic comedy)

I enjoy watching the drama for a while, but eventually I long for the ending. The roller coaster gets old and I want to get to the end...hopefully, a happily ever after.

That is exactly where I am...longing to get to my ending...my happily ever after. Not with a man...with my bridegroom. I know I am guaranteed a happily ever after- an ending to the roller coaster and an entrance to a life of never ending and completely fulfilling love. No more obstacles coming between me and my great love- no more silly decisions, hurtful words or devastating actions (all of which, by the way, come from me). While I don't wonder what the end of my story will be, I am desperately longing to get there. Its not the suspense or the not knowing that's killing me, its the drama...the drama is getting old.

I want to be with Him so desperately I can barely stand it. My heart doesn't always match up with my actions-which is why the drama continues. I am ready for my lover to say "enough" and to come and get me. That's how most romantic dramas end...and how the book of revelation tells me my story will end as well. At some point my lover will get tired of the drama. He won't be able to stand being apart from me any longer and will come and get me.

Don't hear anything suicidal or depressing in this, I don't want to die...I just want to be with my lover. "How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" (Psalm 13:1-2).

I like my life, I like the people in my life...but I love Him. I love Him desperately and with all that I am. I HATE being apart from Him. I have intimate moments with Him, but they simply leave me longing for more...because I know there is so much more. And then there are the days that I don't feel close to Him...the days when the drama continues and I feel empty and alone; and longing for Him.

I have come to the point in my life where nothing comes close to Him. He is so good...and nothing can compare. Don't get me wrong, I still settle for less than Him far too often. At times, I still seek comfort in things that are not Him, I sometimes desire simplicity and comfort over Him. That's more of the drama that I am so tired of, yet still participate in.

I wish my life was TiVoed. In fact, my TiVo remote has a button that I can push that will take me directly to the end. I would absolutely push that right now. I am not saying that I don't enjoy life...I just know I will enjoy my next life so much more.

Since I can't push the button, I sit and wait for the ending. I will try enjoy the experiences that make up my love story...the ups and the downs that come together to make my life. Truth be told, the drama only makes me fall more and more in love with Him, which I'm sure is why He allows the story to continue. He will get tired of it some day, though. He will get to the point where He can't stand being away from me anymore, and He will come get me. "Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready." (Revelation 19:7). I long for that day...with all of my heart, I long for that day.