Going to Kenya!

I am about to get in the car to drive to the airport to board a plane that will take me to London and then Kenya. I can't believe I am going! Travis was here earlier and we were talking about how weird this trip is...how it all came together and God is the only explanation for it. We don't really know what we're going to be doing (although we were asked to bring tents...), but we are seeking to be obedient.

I have packed way more than I needed to, yet I am sure I have forgotten something. When people ask me why I'm going, I honestly don't have an answer. I am hoping to have one by the time I come back, haha, but I'm not even guaranteed that. All I know is that He called me to go, so I am going to follow.

I come back late on January 17th, and I promise to update then. See you in a few weeks!

Great Christmas!

Hey Everyone! I am sorry I haven't written in a while. I am at my parents house and they still have dial up internet, so getting on line is always kind of a pain.

I have had such a wonderful break at my parents house! I left Philly on Saturday and arrived late Saturday night. I spent Sunday with my family and we traveled to Richmond to have dinner with some other family. I can't remember the last time we were all together, so it was really fun. We ended up watching some old home movies of family Christmas when I was about 9 and 10 years old, and it was hilarious! Apparently that year I received a New Kids on the Block tape, and was very excited. We also watched the old Christmas plays that my cousin made us do every year. My poor little brother was always baby Jesus (he was the only boy). It was so much fun!

Christmas day was also really great. My brother and I bought our parents a computer this year (they were still using the one that I had in college!), and seeing their faces when they opened it was all I needed! We spent the rest of the day just kind of hanging out, Christmas isn't as much fun when there aren't kids around. We did watch the Cowboys/Eagles game, which was awesome!

Yesterday I got to go to Roanoke (where I grew up) and visited with my grandmother for a while. She is so much fun! It was a really great visit. From there I went to hang out with some friends from high school while my brother went to hang out with some of his friends. It was really great to get to see my friends. We stay in pretty good contact, but its pretty rare that we actually get together. Its still kinds weird for me, though, with several of my friends married with children (or kids on the way). It was a really fun time though. After that I picked up my brother (who was hanging out with another friend of mine from high school) and then we headed back.

I'm actually heading back to Philly tonight so I can have a full day to clean, do laundry and pack before I leave for Africa on Friday. I got a lot done before I left, so I'm hoping I won't be too rushed or stressed when I get back. I have had a lot of time to read and just relax with the Lord this week, which has been incredible! So, I would love to be able to continue that tomorrow, even though I have a lot to do.

I am starting to get nervous about this trip. One of the guys that was supposed to go has apparently backed out because his family has pretty much forbidden him from going. That makes me really sad, but I guess you can't blame them for caring. I wasn't as worried until I say this guy's parents' reaction and suddenly I thought maybe I should be more nervous than I am. I know that has to be the enemy because I was at complete peace about it until then. I'm juts trying to trust in Him, and follow Him. I don't know what exactly He has planned, but I do plan on finding out! :)

The Best Night of the Year!

Okay, so I am in the middle of a bad cold and I'm still a bit doped up on Nyquil, haha, so I probably won't take too much time on this post. I had to write and post pictures, though, because last night was the most fun night of the year!! It was the Prayer Pals Christmas Party!!! The night went extremely well and was a lot of fun. We had 3 kids whose presents haven't arrived yet, and they all handled it well. Bonita was one of the kids, and I was so impresssed with how she handled it, though you could tell she was disappointed. I gave her my present last night so she would have something to open, but I didn't spoil her like I know her Prayer Pal will. She understood, though, and her present is on the way. The other 2 kids were also disappointed, and although they didn't have presents of their own to open, they helped us pass out the presents and seemed to enjoy watching the other kids. Their presents should be here today and we are going to take them straight to their house.

All of the other kids got great presents and loved them. My mom and dad have prayer pals and I am conviced that they love their pals more than they love me, haha (because presents equals love, of course). They both spoiled their pals so much and it was great to watch their pals open the many presents my parents sent them. I am really excited for the day my parents can come and visit and meet their pals!! I called my parents after the party to accuse them of loving their pals more than they love me, hehe. Unfortunately, my mom confirmed my suspicions...they have in fact replaced me and my brother with Tommy and Samantha. (Of course, I am kidding...but they really do love Tommy and Samantha a lot, which blesses me a ton as well because I love them too!)

Prayer Pals is becoming more and more one of my favorite programs. There are 45 kids in the program, and Carisa and I love each one of them SO much. But, there is no way we could pour into each of them as much as we would like to. Thats where the Prayer Pals come in. The pals love and pray for their kids. As Carisa and I spend time with the kids at Prayer Pals, we get to be more and more a part of their lives; while their pals let them know that I can't think of any other time we would have to really be able to pour into the kids like we do at Prayer Pals. I have really been able to see the benefits of Prayer Pals in "my kids". Bonita, Linda, Pedro, Miguel and Luis all have Prayer Pals...in fact, they all have great Prayer Pals. I spend tons of time with these kids, and sometimes feel alone in my love for them. Prayer Pals reminds me that I am not. There are 5 other people (and families) that love these kids, pray for these kids, and let these kids know that they are loved. They are blessed, and so am I!

Letters from little girls...

This past Sunday I actually taught our Sunday School class. I LOVE our class, but I'm not the best teacher, so I am usually just an added help for Carisa, who does most of the teaching. I usually think of the class as a way to continue to develop relationships with the girls, since I am much better at one on one stuff than groups. But, I really wanted to let the girls know about my upcoming trip to Africa, so I decided to teach.

It actually worked out as a really great tie in to one of the lessons in the Sunday School book we are going through. We read the passage in Luke when Jesus is 12 years old (the same age as the girls in my class) and he ends up teaching in the temple. I wanted to stress to them that they really do have a voice, and its an important one. They have things to say that people need to hear.

From there I asked them what they wanted to say to people that didn't know Christ. All of them admitted to being shy about sharing their faith because they are afraid of being rejected. So, I gave them the chance to do it in a safe environment, and their hearts were incredible. We also talked about God's Girls and the things that we had learned about ourselves a young women of God. I asked them to write a letter to some of the women in Africa that I am going to meet on my trip. I told them to write down whatever it was that they wanted these women to know about God and about their worth as women of God. I just got around to reading the letters, and they are beautiful. Here are some parts of the letters:

"Dear Precious Little Girl, Though I don't know you, God does and He wants you to believe in Him You are beautiful whether you think you are or not....It doesn't matter if you make mistakes because God will forgive you."

"Dear first girl that Trish meets, First I want you to know that God says that you are beautiful. The second thing I want you to know is what God did for you...hang on good girl because no one can stop you from going to God. I pray for you and I hope you think you are beautiful because I don't know who you are but I know you are beautiful."

"Dear person I don't know, I just wanted to say that God loves you no matter what you look like...you may not think you are beautiful but God thinks you are beautiful."

"Dear girl or woman, I don't know you but I know one thing; the Lord does and he thinks you are beautiful...beautiful in every single way...He loves you for who you are, a lot...He will always love you no matter what. God has a plan for you, just wait for it"

"Dear girl, I don't know if you think you are not beautiful, but you are. The Lord thinks you are beautiful, it says so in the bible. If you don't know what that is, ask Trish and she will tell you."

"Dear Mam, It says in the bible that God thinks you are beautiful and you are a princess...God will change your life if you let Him in your heart."

"Dear girl, Sometimes do you think that you are not beautiful? You are beautiful...God thinks you are beautiful and He says so in the bible."

Tell me these 12 year old girls don't have something important to say!!! I am so excited to take these letters and share them with the women that I meet. I am even more excited to come back and tell the girls all about the women that I met. The girls promised to pray for the women I am meeting while I am gone, so I can't wait to tell them how God heard and answered their prayers!

Our Faith Matters

Everyday we are faced with faith challenging situations, and everyday our response matters. That is what I am learning right now, and its a hard lesson to learn. Well, its a great lesson to learn; learning that you actually matter to the God of the Universe. You are noticed. I love knowing that! But, the process of learning that means that we have to go through hard times, and that isn't as much fun.

I have written a lot recently about some of the major things going on here in Philly. There is no question that many people around me are being faced with faith challenging situations, and I am included in that. For me, its very hard to watch the people around me that I love and care about struggle through hard times. They are asking a lot of questions that I want to answer, but in reality, I'm asking the same questions. My heart's cry as I pray has been for God to keep me from being like Job's friends. When Job was suffering, his friends denied God and even called on Job to curse Him. There wasn't anyone in Job's life encouraging him to stay faithful. I want to be that, the encourager...but I am finding that difficult in the face of my own struggles as well as the struggles of the people around me.

A woman suddenly lost her husband, and her 12 children lost their father. A 17 year old girl lost her baby. A 15 year old girl thinks she might have breast cancer. A wife watches her husband choose drugs over her, and their children lose their father again. A 12 year old girl, feeling like the lost member of her addiction plagued family, sees no way to ease the pain other than ending her life. An 8 year old girl has her world shattered as her parents decide to stop trying at their marriage, and she is angry. A man with a 40 year addiction to heroin struggles every day to say no to the drug that has imprisoned him for more than half his life. A 12 year old girl writes to her prayer pal that she is hurting so deep inside, but no one knows because she has learned to hide it really well. These are just a few stories of what is going on...and this is just what I know about! As I pray for each of them, I find myself continually asking, why? I don't really expect an answer (I am pretty sure its way too complicated for me to understand), but I can't help but ask.

Job asked why. He asked it a lot. He never lost faith, never turned from God; but he did ask why. That makes me feel better! Its not a sin to ask why, so I'll keep asking.

I just finished writing a letter to the 17 year old girl who lost her baby, and my hope in writing it was to be able to answer the question "why?" for her. I had some reasons in my head and I thought that God wanted me to share with her what He was really doing. I planned on opening her eyes to His plan and hopefully easing her pain. However, as I wrote the letter, I found myself not answering any questions at all. I also realized that this letter was as much to me as it was to her. It was one of those situations where I wasn't really sure what I was writing, and it was only after I finished that I read it and realized that those were not my words.

This girl is at a crossroad with her faith, and it opened my eyes to when I have been in the same place. Here is a part of the letter:
"I have been in several situations in my life that have brought me to a crossroad; to either turn away from God in my anger or turn toward Him with my pain. Honestly, I think I have turned away more than I have turned toward Him. What I have realized, though, is that turning away only heightened my anger and loneliness. It was only turning toward to God that (slowly) healed my heart, dried my tears and ultimately made me stronger".

I can see the truth of that statement over and over again in my life. When I turn to God, He heals me. But, that isn't the whole story. That doesn't answer the question of why we are put in those situations in the first place. The answer I hear most often is also the one that I think is wrong. Most people assume that we go through struggles and hard times because of sin. Sin is what leads us to struggle, and its only through God's grace that we are able to survive. While the grace part is true, the sin part is not. That answer, in my opinion, completely misses the point.

First, my sin is paid for. I have been bought by the blood and as far as anyone is concerned, my sin is gone. As far as the east is from the west, it has been taken from me. It does not follow me around waiting to enact punishment on me...it is GONE! Yes, I understand that there are natural consequences to sin, we live in a fallen world. However, any struggle or hardship that I face is not the result of my sin, because my sin no longer exists.

What does exist is a battle. Sometimes we forget that, but there is a battle going on. There is a battle raging all around us...the battle between good and evil...the battle between God and Satan. The book of Job makes that clear. The book starts out with God and satan making a deal. God will allow satan to go after Job in any way he chooses (as long as he doesn't actually kill him). What is the wager? Well, God simply says, my people are faithful because they love me, not because of what I do for them...and Job will prove it. So, throughout the rest of the book we see that satan really went for it. Job was afflicted physically, financially and emotionally. He lost his entire family, all of his money and his friends. He was left to suffer, a lot...and alone. But, Job stayed faithful. It wasn't easy, and remember, he did ask "why?", but he never lost his faith. So, how does the story end? Well, God was glorified, and Job was rewarded with a healing of his body and a doubling of his wealth and his family.

Oh, and satan was DEFEATED!!! Satan tried everything he could to bring Job down, but was unable to. What does that mean for us? Well, it means that our faith actually matters. One day, God will come and destroy satan completely in the final ultimate battle and victory. In the meantime, however, we are the ones destroying him. Every act of our faithfulness is another incredible blow to satan, and another display of God's incredible glory. The truth is, I really do love God! I don't love Him because he does things for me, I just love Him! And, He loves me! He doesn't do wonderful things for me so He can make me love Him, He does them because He loves me! God and I have a very real, true and pure love relationship. How messed up would a marriage be if one person was in it only for what they could get from the other person. That's not real love at all. My faithfulness to my bridegroom when faced with trials continually proves to Him that I really do love Him...and in the process, it defeats His enemy (who also happens to be my enemy!).

I read the book "Disappointment with God" about a year ago, and its one of the few books that I remember a lot from. The author, Philip Yancey, talks a lot about this idea and he says it way better than I could. "In the end, The Wager [between God and satan] resolved decisively that the faith of a single human being counts for very much indeed. Job affirms that our response to testing matters. The history of mankind-and, in fact, my own individual history of faith-is enclosed within the great drama of the history of the universe".

I didn't write all of this to the girl, I mostly told her how much God loves her and is pursuing her. But, out of that letter I realized something huge. My life really matters. Not because I am a missionary, not because I have the opportunity to affect people's lives for Christ...but because the greatest love of my life is engaged in a huge battle, and I have a direct affect of the win/loss ratio from that battle. I know how the war will end, I just never knew I was as much of a part of the battle as I am. My love fights for me every day. I will fight for Him.

Lonely Road

Do you ever feel like no one really has time for you? Like, you exist and people don't even really mind having you around, but they really just don't have time for you. Other than the quick "Hello" or "Hey, would you mind...", there isn't much time for you.

I have felt like that recently, and I know I'm not the only one. Christmas is a very busy time of year, and its a really busy time in ministry. Everyone around me has been extremely busy, including me. No one has time to hang out or even just talk...we're all just too busy. I have gotten a lot of phone calls asking for favors, but that's about it.

I wonder if this happens in other cultures? I am convinced that it doesn't. Well, it does in some cultures. In First world countries, I am sure this happens all the time. Think about how many phone calls you don't answer because you don't have time to talk. Or how many times you change your route when walking to avoid running into that "friend" that you don't have time for. When was the last time you had a full day planned, but instead took time to just talk to someone? Not even necessarily a "needy" person, maybe just a friend you have known forever but haven't talked to in a while...or even your spouse, whom you see every day but rarely get to really talk to. No real purpose in the conversation, other than to let them know that you care. (Believe me, I have asked myself these questions as well, and I don't like my answers).

I haven't traveled a lot, but the little amount of traveling I have done tells me that 2nd and 3rd world countries aren't as busy as we are. (Side note: who came up with those labels? Is Kenya really in a different world than America...and how did we get to be the first world? Okay, that's a whole other topic...). Wait, I take that back, they are just as busy, they are just busy caring for one another. Have you ever been to Ghana? The live in actual communities!! Not neighborhoods that call themselves communities, but real communities. They know the names of everyone around them. They share food, clothing, responsibilities. Unlike us, they actually spend most of their day in fellowship with one another. Whether they are working, cooking, cleaning, playing, etc...they tend to be in groups. People are important, and they know it.

What are we so busy doing anyway? Work? Ministry? Eating? Sleeping? Are there as many suicides in areas with real community as there are here? I am in full time ministry here in Philadelphia, and my heart and passion is for people. I bet if you took a poll of Americans about their biggest struggle, you would find that the #1 struggle that we all have in common is loneliness. You know its true...as you are reading this, you understand everything that I am saying. We all get lonely. Ironically, I think the way we deal with loneliness is to busy ourselves. The busier we get, the less lonely we feel. However, the busier we get the more lonely the people around us feel. Its not a pretty cycle, and it goes against everything that Jesus did.

I was trying to think of times when Jesus was really busy. I mean, of all the people in the world to have been too busy, it should have been Him. Yet, I don't find a single instance in scripture of Jesus being too busy for someone. In fact, you can read in Mark 5 that even when Jesus was in a hurry, He stopped to talk with people; to make sure they were known, heard...and they were healed.

I want to learn from His example. You see in the passage that Jesus was on His way to heal a little girl who was dying. As He was walking, another women (an outcast of society) came and touched His robe, and she was healed. Jesus could have kept walking and ignored her...He had to get to the little girl before she died. But, He didn't. He stopped and talked to the woman. He let her know that He felt her touch, He saw her, and He healed her. Soon after, though, people came to let Him know that the girl He was on His way to heal had died. Jesus was too late. If only He hadn't taken time to talk to that woman, then the little girl would still be alive! Jesus had a plan, and He should have stuck to it!

Haha, okay, so you know that isn't true. Yes, to everyone else it appeared that the little girl had died, but Jesus knew better. He wasn't too late. He got to the girl's house, told her to get up, and she did! The little girl came back to life!!

Okay, now lets see this story for what it is...a simple lesson in obedience. Had Jesus kept with His original plan, the girl would have been healed and people would have been happy. In fact, no one ever would have known what they missed out on...except maybe the woman who had been sick for 12 years. She would still be sick, outcasted, and completely unnoticed by the world. But Jesus didn't keep with His original plan, He followed His Father. Instead of one miracle, we have two...and the second one was even greater than if He had simply healed her.

Jesus realized that it wasn't all about Him and what He wanted, or even what He thought needed to happen. He was on His way to perform a miracle, which is a really good thing, so of course it was what God wanted Him to do, right? Wrong! If Jesus had checked out at that point and continued with His plan, He would have missed out on what His Father really wanted to do. Jesus had plan, but He wasn't too busy to listen to His Father.

I want to be available for whatever miracles God wants to do through me! I don't want to have my schedule so packed that I don't have time to let people know that they are important. I want people to call me when they need to hear words of comfort and peace...and know that I will pick up the phone.

So, I have been contemplating what all of this means for me practically. I am not giving up my responsibilities, but I am asking for Him to change my mindset. First, I do need to cut out the responsibilities that I have that He has not called me to. I want to rid myself of the busyness that I have accumulated. My friend Elizabeth describes it really well. She uses the analogy of a plate. If I put 10 things on my plate, it will be full. If I am to live the life God has called me to, the things on my plate when I wake up in the morning will ONLY be the things that He has called me to put there. Also, my plate should not be full when I wake up in the morning. I should only have 5 or 6 things on it, so there is room for the things that just come up...because inevitably things will always come up. (By the way, the numbers are just examples...). Finally, when I am on the way to do one of the things on my plate, I don't want to be so focused on my goal that I miss the people in need along the way. Now, there were times when Jesus chose not to heal people, if His Father wasn't calling Him to. However, He was never too busy to heal. He was so in tune with His Father, the activity wasn't the goal, His Father was. When Jesus planned on healing the little girl, His goal was not for the girl to be okay (as weird as that sounds), His goal was to see God's glory. Because His focus was on His Father, He didn't miss what His Father was doing.

Its kind of late, and I have been rambling a lot, so I apologize if any (or all, haha) didn't make much sense. My heart has been really burdened recently by all the hurting people around me, and that heart has lead me to think all the things I just wrote about. There is a girl in our ministry that just found 3 lumps in her breast and is terrified she might have cancer. Another girl just lost her baby and doesn't know where to turn with her grief. My heart grieves for them to a point of desperation. I want to see them healed, and yet I have been too busy recently to be a part of that healing. I don't want that to happen anymore! Its just sad that I had to wallow in my own loneliness to realize this...

Why I'm here

Tonight was such a fun night! Bonita and Linda had their first music recital, and they were great! It was literally the first time the girls have ever performed on stage, and although they were really nervous, they absolutely loved it. Their mom went with me to the concert, which was so wonderful. She seemed to have a lot of fun and was very proud of her daughters. I was so excited that she came!

I am realizing more and more how special those girls really are, and how unique my relationship is with them. They consider me a second mom and love me SO much, but they still call me Ms. Trish, which I take as a sign of respect. They are polite, well mannered, sweet, gentle, loving and literally are never a problem. They never talk back to me (anymore, haha) and are always willing to do what I ask, even if they don't really want to. I'm still working on some attitude issues with them, but they are so much better than they were, and are getting better every day. They don't do as well in school as I know they can, but they are getting better, and are starting to realize that they may just be as smart as I have been telling them they are. :) I enjoy being around them SO much, and miss them a lot when they aren't with me. I used to have to bribe them to come to church, but now they want to go even when I am out of town. They are becoming their own people, and the women they are becoming are astounding. I am so in awe of God and the incredible work He is doing in them. I feel so privileged to be a part of their lives!!!

Last night was really fun too as I got to go to the Preteen Christmas Party. We have Kids Club every Tuesday night and we separate the kids into 3 different groups: 5-6 year olds, 7-10 year olds, and the Preteens (11-12 year olds). This is the first year that I have ever gone to the Preteen party, but Linda and Pedro are now both Preteens, so I wanted to see them get their presents. It was SO fun! They had tons of help, so I didn't really have any responsibilities other than being excited about kids' presents...which I must say, I am quite good at. Linda didn't pick the present that I thought she would (I guessed Pedro, Miguel and Linda's presents all correctly), but she did look at every possible gift before picking hers. Pedro actually did the same thing, it was killing me to watch them! I'm still getting used to the fact that they are Preteens! This time next year I will be getting ready for them to join God Squad. I don't think I am ready for that!

This week has been pretty busy, and I didn't handle it well at first. I have been running all over the place trying to get stuff done for after-school, the Christmas parties, preparations for Africa, etc. and I haven't taken a lot of time to spend with the Lord. In the mean time I managed to get myself all worked up about things that weren't a big deal at all, which led to a lot of stress. Thank the Lord for good friends! I got to hang out with my friend Elizabeth today and we spent some good time in prayer, where God really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I have been focusing my time and energy on things that either I think need to be done or things that I feel like other people want me to do and not spending as much time on the things that I feel like God has called me to do.

Carisa is reexamining her ministry priorities and making some changes, and I think I am going to do the same. Thankfully, she and I are very different and we tend to be a great balance to one another (though we are both pretty organized people, which is very nice). We are both seeking the Lord for what adjustments to make, but I am pretty confident that those adjustments will compliment one another. I am not going to make any decisions until I know what Carisa's decisions are, but I am really seeking the Lord for where my heart and gifts really are, as well as where our needs are. For example, I love administrative things, and it appears that our church treasurer may need some time off...so is the Lord leading me to do that? I LOVE working with the teen girls and very soon we will lose most of the female teen leaders...so is the Lord wanting me to pour more into that? I have found myself enjoying Kids Club more and more every time I go...so is the Lord wanting me to focus more on Kids Club? I absolutely love my Sunday School class and I love the relationships I have with the girls in that class...so is the Lord leading me more towards that? The good thing is, I don't feel like God is wanting me to narrow my ministry focus at this point; I really like having a lot of variety in my schedule. However, I don't want to get to the point where I am stretched too thin, so I really need to constantly seek the Lord for what He wants me to do. I don't necessarily think these changes will make much of a change in my day to day life, but knowing where my heart is and where God has called me will really help me know where to pour out my heart. For now, though, I'm just going to seek Him and try and listen.

My Turn to try...

Okay, Carisa recently switched her on line journals to a blog, so I thought I would try it. I am not really nervous about people in our ministry reading my journals, but I think it would be better if they didn't. So, I'm going to see how this blog works out. I am still definitley trying to figure out how it works, and I am not the most computer literate person in the world, so we will see how this goes. :)

The last few days have continued to be up and down. Yesterday was a really good day at After-school. I had originally planned on teaching the kids about Africa, but decided instead to talk to them about what Jesus says about our words. I have really noticed recently how powerful words are, especially in a child's life. Obviously, I have always known that words have a lot of power, but I don't think I realized the full extent of that power. You can really make or break a person with what you say, and even how you say it. As a person who talks A LOT, this has been a huge eye opener for me. At the same time, I have watched the after-school kids daily tear one another down with their words and I really wanted to challenge them with that. So, we talked about how important our words are and what Jesus says about what words should come out of our mouths. Only time will tell if they really got it, but the talk went well.

Last night was also the Kids Club Christmas party for the 7-10 year olds, and it was a blast! Next to the Prayer Pals Christmas party, its one of my favorite nights of the year. The kids each got to go home with a brand new present (that they got to pick) as well as a new hat, school supplies and a new book...as well as tons of snacks. I got to lead a group by myself (Carisa is crazy!) and it was a group of kids that don't come as often. I had so much fun with them and I am hoping I have convinced at least some of them to come more often next semester. Bonita and Miguel both got presents that they love, which made the night even more fun.

At the same time, I have realized that the saying "when it rains, it pours" is a very true statement. I wrote last week about everything going on, from a funeral to one of the girls I am very close to going into the hospital. Well, last night was another night of pouring. I found out that one of our teens, who was pregnant, lost her baby last night and another teen, whom I absolutley love and adore, found 3 lumps in her breast and has to go in for a mammogram and a biopsy. There is a 17 year old girl dealing with the loss of her unborn child, and a 15 year old girl wondering if she has cancer and if she will be able to keep her breasts. I can't imagine how difficult that is for each of them! My heart is absolutley broken for the pain they are each enduring. Am I sad that an unwed 17 year old high school senior will not be having a baby? Of course not, but I am sad that she has to endure the heartache that comes along with losing a child. I can't even begin to imagine what that must feel like.

I personally am actually doing very well, and the Lord and I are great. I spent a lot of time reading this weekend and was really challenged by the Lord in a lot of areas of my life. At the same time, there are a lot of changes and things happening around me that I am having a hard time trusting in Him with. I find myself being very affected by what is going on in other people's lives, and I would really like that to change. Scripture promises me peace that passes all understanding and tells me that no matter what is going on around me, God is always in control. I wnt my house to continue to be solid and on the firm foundation of Jesus, so when the wind and the waves come, I don't fear my house falling down, I know it's strong enough to withstand anything. I don't think I am there yet, but I'm praying that I will get there!