Oh Bonita!

Okay, I had to share this really quick. I just got back from picking Bonita and Linda up from the skating rink. Here is a great story...

The rink is pretty small and there were a lot of people there, many of whom skate well and fast. Bonita was skating around the rink when one of the workers noticed that she was about to get run over by a really fast skater. He came up behind Bonita and picked her up to move her out of the way. Unfortunately, Bonita thought it was a strange man trying to kidnap her so she immediately flailed her entire body until he had to let her go. When he did, she punched him and then skated away. That's right; SHE PUNCHED HIM!! I'm so proud of her. :)

He explained himself to her and she apologized (he wasn't upset)...and we all got a good laugh. Still, its really nice to know that she can take care of herself. That's my girl!!

Back In Philly

I'm back in Philly now, and it feels great! I actually wasn't ready to leave NC when I did, but I am really glad to be back! I had a good, but LONG trip back on the train. The trip took about an hour longer than expected because of delays, but overall it was good. I actually have some funny stories from the ride, but I will have to add that later.

Today has been a pretty uneventful, but also somewhat busy day. Bonita and Linda went to church with me this morning and we had a good time in Sunday School. We ended up talking a lot about school and it broke my heart as we talked about what their schools are like. I started asking them to raise their hand if they had ever been cussed at by a teacher, if they had ever had a fight break out in their class, if they had ever been called a name by a teacher, if they had ever seen a teacher hit a student or vice versa, and so on. There was not a single question asked in which at least one hand wasn't raised...and most had all hands in the air. No wonder these kids struggle so much in school. I miss After-School...
After church my friends Joy and Jen came over to help me put my treadmill together. That's right, I have a treadmill!!! I've had it for almost 2 weeks and my friend Jared said he would put it together for me, but hasn't yet. I finally got tired of waiting, so we put it together today. I am so excited!!!

No, Gizmo is not running on the treadmill...although he could probably use it, haha. Notice the treadmill is pointed directly at my TV. :) Jen and I are going to run a 10K in May, so I am in training. Wait, did I just say I was going to run a 10K?!? Yes, yes I did. I can hardly believe it myself. I really want to do this though, so hopefully I can stay on track and train for it. Now that I have a treadmill in my house, I really don't have any excuses.Its a pretty sweet treadmill too!! It has different training programs, and its a cross trainer, so you can exercise your whole body. Apparently it also has a talking personal trainer that will take you through a whole body work out (with weights and an ab ball). In addition, it has speakers and a plug in for an MP3 player or an ipod (neither of which I have, but maybe someday) and it has a built in fan. I got a really good deal in it (50% off!!!), which makes it even more exciting!

I am really hoping that the fact that I spent my own money on this will help motivate me even more to use it. I'm not making this a new years resolution, though, just a life goal. I actually really enjoy running and really want to get more into it.

I just got back from dropping Bonita and Linda off. They were invited to a birthday party at a skating rink, so I took them a little while ago. Actually, they spent all afternoon hanging out with Monique and Tasha at their house. It is so exciting to see them hang out without me!! I also felt a huge sense of pride as I dropped them off at the skating rink knowing that I don't have to worry about their behavior at all. They can work my last nerve, but they are very sweet, respectful girls and I know they will be great. I'm also pretty excited that the birthday party was for one of the God's Girls. In fact, there are at least 5 or 6 God's Girls invited to the party.

So, I have about an hour. Its raining outside and cold...I think I'll go for a run. :)

My Kitchen Is Almost Complete...

Merry Christmas everyone!! It feels so good to be in North Carolina, despite the rain!! I am having a very relaxing and wonderful time at my parents' house, and I am so thankful for that.

I arrived on Christmas eve, getting home around 5:00. My mom started to get dinner ready when we all decided to go ahead and do presents then. There are only 3 of us, so it didn't take long. :) (My brother, unfortunately, had to work Christmas eve, so he was in NC for the weekend, but left the day before I came. I saw him just a few weeks ago, though, and hopefully he will be coming to Philly sometime soon!). Anyway, we had a lot of fun opening gifts and all 3 of us got exactly what we wanted!! I got a new Microwave for my kitchen (one that hangs above the stove!) and some real pots and pans! (The ones I am currently using are older than me and just a random compilation of old things other people weren't using). Now all I need is a new refrigerator and a ceiling, and my kitchen will be FINISHED! I am in no hurry for either, I love my kitchen, even unfinished. Still, its exciting to move closer to a finished product! :)

My mom got a travel bag, which will hopefully motivate her to actually come to Philly. :) My dad got some new clothes and slippers, and was very excited. My brother also got me a gift card for Amazon.com...which I can't wait to spend!!! (My wish list on the right may be changing soon!). In all, it was a really good Christmas. Oh, I almost forgot! My favorite gift...

Its Boyz II Men's newest cd! It just came out!! I am so excited! I grew up listening to Motown ALL THE TIME (thanks to my mom), and I obviously love Boyz II Men, so this is just about the greatest cd ever for me. I love it!!!

Since we opened presents on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day was pretty low key for us. We watched some movies, at some leftovers, and just hung out. It was really nice.

Today is just as low key. My dad is at work, my mom is resting and I am getting my AIM stuff done. I am going to go for a run by the water later, even if it is raining. I have been looking forward to running along the river for months, so I will not let the rain stop me! My dad will even let me go out at night here. :) Oh, and there is a sushi restaurant here, so I am going to hit that up later as well!!! I really love this town!

Tomorrow my mom and I are going to hit a few after Christmas sales, but we really don't have any plans other than that. I'm still working for AIM in the mornings, but just chillin' in the afternoons/evenings. I am heading back to Philly on Saturday, and I think that may come way too soon. :)

On the Train

I am sitting on a train headed to Wilson, NC and I decided to write a little bit to pass the time. I still have about 2 hours to go. I have been on the train for 5 hours so far and I absolutely think that the train is the way to go!! I have my laptop plugged in and have been able to watch as many episodes of Friends as I want. I have already read an entire book (Yes, I read fast) and spent some time really enjoying the east coast. It is a BEAUTIFUL day outside!! It’s pretty cool because trains drive past highways and through small towns. I even passed right by Randolph Macon College; though it was deserted. It doesn’t feel like Christmas Eve at all, but that doesn’t really bother me. I am really enjoying the ride.

I have also had some interesting experiences. My trip started at 8:30 this morning with the lady behind me discussing Tasty Cakes in great detail with someone on her cell phone. Oh, and did I mention that she didn’t have her hearing aid in? I can laugh now, but at 8:30 in the morning, when I haven’t had much sleep (I have since taken a noce cat nap), the conversation is much more annoying than amusing.

There is also a 5 year old boy who has been watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. He doesn’t have headphones, and apparently also needs a hearing aid. The conductor has come by several times to ask him to put headphones on. He responded quite rudely to the conductor and then yelled at his mom when she asked him to turn it town. Did I mention he is only 5?!? It wasn’t long before I figured out where his attitude came from…

A few minutes ago, the conductor came by again to tell the boy to turn off the movie if he didn’t have headphones. The mom erupted in anger making it clear to him that her son was going to watch the movie whether the people around him liked it or not. Apparently he has ADHD and needs the movie to keep him calm. When the conductor mentioned that people had complained about the noise, she very sarcastically announced that anyone with a problem could come and talk to her. The conductor then threatened to escort them off the train at the next stop. The movie is now off, and the boy seems to be doing fine. I’m so thankful for how my parents raised me.

The only thing that could make this ride better would be having wireless internet. I had it for about 10 seconds while in Petersburg, but nothing since. You can even bring your own food on the train, so you can eat as healthy or as crappy as you want. And, its much cheaper!!! The train is pretty full, but the seats are so much bigger than a plane; I don’t feel cramped at all. AND, I brought a giant bag, a bookbag and a smaller bag and didn’t have to check anything. Can you tell I love the train?!?

My dad should be picking me up at the train station, and I think we only have about an hour drive to get to their house. My dad is NEVER late; in fact, he’s probably in his way to the station now, haha. Actually…he really might be. Its so nice to be so loved. Okay, I just got off the phone with my dad…he is in fact on his way to the train station. :)

So, I’m down to an hour and a half, and I am out of things to write. In about 4 Friends episodes, I will be in NC!! My dad also informs me that they have wireless internet at their house!!! (This is the first time ever for them!) So, hopefully you will be hearing from me again soon!!

Almost Home

This time tomorrow I will be in my parents' new home in North Carolina! Well, their temporary home (they are renting a house until the house in VA sells), but at least they are finally both in the same house! :) I am so ready to go. My house, however, is not. I have some cleaning to do...

Carisa is already in North Carolina with her family, so I lead Sunday School this morning. Usually I dread leading Sunday School (I love my class, just not leading it), but today it went really well. We didn't have many girls, but we had fun with the ones that were there. We finished our lap book on Christmas (don't ask me what a lap book is...I don't really know other than it is a book that you read in your lap. I just do what Carisa tells me, haha).

It was crazy trying to finish in time (lost of cutting, writing and taping), but we did it! And, we managed to have fun as well as learn something. Overall, a pretty good day. Mercedes came to church with me today, and Bonita and Linda didn't. It was actually really fun to get to know her better without the other girls, and she had a blast with Monique and Tasha after church when we all went out to lunch. I continue to daily be amazed by the wonderful kids and teens that I am so blessed to love...and be loved by. There is no reason I should get to live the life that I do...

I also had a lot of fun leading Prayer Pals tonight as well. There were only 5 kids there, but that allowed us to all have fun together. I had 2 of the girls dancing and the rest of us laughing so hard we almost cried. One of the girls apparently couldn't hold in her gas during her dance, and that sent all of us over the edge. It was really fun because one of the girls there is usually very quiet, but she joined in on the fun with us!!

I am actually writing this blog entry to procrastinate from cleaning my house; and packing. I don't have a ton to do, but I just can't make myself do anything. :) I have actually been sort of sick in the last few days. It started Thursday and I have pretty much been nauseous all the time. And no, there is NO humanly way that I am pregnant. :) I actually spent most of yesterday laying down because I was sure if I moved I was going to lose my lunch (that being a figure of speech since I didn't actually eat anything yesterday). I'm still feeling a bit nauseous today, but I can push through it. I'm a little nervous about the train tomorrow since I have been feeling motion sick for 3 days straight. Thank goodness for Dramamine! :)

Okay, before I head out, I have to share two quick things with you. First, the greatest present I have ever received:

This is a potato masher! The feet hold the potato up so you can microwave it. Then, you use the masher (which has a face!!!), to make mashed potatoes (the world's most perfect food)!!! I LOVE this gift, thank you Hinsons!!! I haven't used it yet (refer to the 3 days of nausea section of this blog), but I plan in it when I get back!!!

Finally, I have to share my outrage with you. I spent a good portion of yesterday watching VH1's "Top 100 Songs of the 90's". (Again, refer to the 3 days of nausea section...). I watch all 100 songs with great nostalgia remembering every single one of them; knowing the words to 85% of them. I definitely consider myself a child of the 90's. Although I was born in the 80's, I grew up in the 90's. The 90's encompassed ages 10-20 for me. Anyway, my outrage...NOT A SINGLE BOYZ II MEN SONG MADE THE LIST!!!!! Vanilla Ice, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, NSYNC, and Backstreet Boys all made the list. Right Said Fred's "I'm too Sexy" made the list. Sir Mix A Lot's "Baby Got Back" made the list...but not Boyz II Men?!? The greatest selling R&B group of all time, come on!!! I'm writing a letter and starting a petition, this is unacceptable!!!!!!!

3 Movies in 4 Days....

That's what happens when I'm on a break! :) I have in fact seen 3 movies (all in the theater) over the last 4 days. Tuesday night I saw "I Am Legend" (LOVED it!!). A friend actually paid for several of us to see the movie and we all had a lot of fun. It is somewhat of a scary movie, which none of us realized going into it, so I've had more lights on than usual the past few days. :)

Yesterday Joy and I decided to see the movie "Juno" (also LOVED it, but its definitely an indie film that's not for everyone). Its only playing in one theater in Philly, and that theater happens to me in Center City. We rarely venture into Center City, so we decided to make it a fun afternoon. We at lunch at Cosi (one of my favorite restaurants), saw the movie (at matinee pricing...only $5!) and then walked around the city visiting different shops. I even got some of my last minute Christmas shopping finished! We had a blast!!! In fact, we had dinner plans with a friend at PBU (Philadelphia Biblical University) at 7, and barely made it! We actually had Joy's brother (Jared) pick us up at the El stop so we wouldn't be too late...we had lost track of time we were having so much fun!

Then today I saw the movie; "National Treasure: Book of Secrets" (again, for only $5! I love matinees!). Normally this is not a movie I would pay to see in the theater, but I owed some kids in after-school a movie, and they really wanted to see it. So, Joy and I took her sister Eliza (the one I owed the movie) and her brother Zach as well as Lindsay (a last minute replacement for Joy's brother Joey who decided not to come) and met up with Pastor Andy and his wife Shannon and their 2 kids, Matt and Sarah. There weren't many people in the theater and we all loved the movie...so it was again a blast for us! The best part was that all the adults that went actually love history, and all the kids had just learned about a lot of the stuff in the movie, so that made it even more exciting. It was a great movie for us (though I am not the biggest Nicholas Cage fan...).

Oh, and I got even more excited during the previews! The new Narnia movie is coming out in May and I'm already planning on taking the kids. Pixar has a new animated movie coming out that looks really cute, and actually appropriate for kids! And, they have made the Dr. Seuss book, "Horton Hears a Who" (an all time favorite of mine), into a movie that will be coming out in the spring as well. (I owe Paxton a movie too, and I think that might be a good one for us!). Finally, there is another Will Smith movie coming out around my birthday! In this one he is a superhero that isn't very good and the people don't really like him. It looks really funny...and continues the trend of great Will Smith movies being released for my birthday. Independence Day, Men in Black, Men in Black 2, Bad Boys 2, Wild Wild West (which wasn't actually very good) and I Robot have all come out on or very near my birthday. That's 6 of the last 11 years!! Will rarely forgets my birthday. :) In case you couldn't tell, I really like movies!

The rest of today has been spent with me doing next to nothing. I'm pretty tired from the week and I have a lot to do tomorrow and Sunday to prepare for my leaving on Monday (including more Christmas shopping!), so I decided to just relax today. I also think I might have some sort of inner ear infection or something. I started feeling a little motion sickness on the El yesterday, and Jared's driving on the way to and from PBU did not help. I chalked it up to just motion sickness, but I have been feeling waves of it today, and I haven't been moving. Its kinda weird...I don't really mind though, it gave me an excuse to lay down a lot. :)

My Favorite Day!!

This is absolutely my favorite day of the year!! It was the Prayer Pals Christmas Party!! Carisa and I spent a lot more time preparing for the party than we expected, but it was all worth it. Its the one Christmas Party that is almost no stress at all! You have to check out the pictures here!!
Watching the kids open their presents really made me think. I take an incredible amount of joy in watching the kids open their presents. I find myself wanting to see these kids blessed beyond belief. Carisa and I went shopping for a few of them (their pals sent money) and I had to hold myself back as I kept seeing things that I wanted them to have.

If it is that hard for me to hold back, how much harder must it be for God? God loves me immeasurably more than I love those kids (which is hard to imagine cause I REALLY love those kids). Not only that, but He has way more resources than I do (cause He literally owns EVERYTHING). So, if my love for these kids leads me to wanting to shower them with every gift and joy I possibly can, what does God desire for me?!? He wants to give me everything!! He DELIGHTS in lavishing me!!! But, I don't have everything...

Sometimes I think of the things I want and don't have or the prayers I pray that seem to go unanswered and wonder why God is holding back. Tonight made me realize that God has to exercise an indescribable amount of restraint to keep from giving me those things; so He must have a pretty good reason for doing so.

Its a whole different thing to no longer see God as the judge in heaven seeking to bless me occasionally, but also punish me for my wrongs and withhold things from me so I can learn lessons I am apparently too hard headed to get the first time. Instead, I am beginning to see Him for who I believe He really is: the God who loves me more than I can ever imagine and withholds things from me because apparently to give them to me would be harmful and although His hates to see me suffer, He loves me too much to harm me.
This kid can be one of the most frustrating kids I have ever known. While he is extremely smart, funny and talented, he is also argumentative, angry, and extremely stubborn (sound familiar mom and dad?). He, more than most other kids, can send me right over the edge. Many of my most frustrating interactions with a kid involve this one. However, despite all of that, I don't find him hard to love at all. I couldn't stop loving him if I tried. When his name comes to mind, a smile immediately appears on my face. I miss him when I'm not around him, even though when I am, I have a 50/50 chance of being around a very angry kid.

If I love Pedro this much; how much more does God love me?

Does it matter what they think?

Do you care more about what people think of you, or about who you really are?

That was the question I asked Linda today, and it made me really examine myself. Linda got in a fight at school today and she spent a good amount of time trying to rationalize this to me. Apparently a boy in her class took her coat and book bag and threw them both in the trash, destroying both and taking all of her school supplies. Now, I can't fault her for being mad; I was mad listening to the story. I can also completely understand why that anger might send her into a fight. Lets be honest; had someone done that to me when I was 12...Let me put it this way, no one would have tried something like that on me when I was 12; everyone was too afraid of me. Shoot, I can't remember the last time I hit or even threatened someone, or even got extremely angry, yet most people still agree that I am not someone they want to mess with. (Okay, I can remember 2 times where I caused physical harm to someone, but both instances were men trying to get something from me that they are not allowed to have...so I don't think that really counts).

Still, I don't want Linda to be the 12 year old that I was. And while I can understand the anger, the fighting is still a problem. So, we talked through the situation and it finally came out that she didn't even fight the boy out of anger. She fought him because she knew if she just let it go, "everyone would talk about me". She fought him because she was concerned about what other people would think of her.

Linda is a beautiful, sweet, smart, and funny girl who really does love the Lord. That doesn't equal cool around here and that certainly won't get her respect. So, she has to make a choice. Will she be the woman God created her to be, or will she be the woman everyone else tells her she should be?

Its a little scary to me that she is finally at the place where she has to make that decision. And its even scarier that I have no control over that decision.

I am so thankful that I finally made the choice to be who God created me to be and not what I thought I should be. Yet, actually I am still constantly faced with that choice. Is the love and acceptance of God really enough, or do I need approval from others as well? Can I follow the voice of God in my heart even when it directly contradicts the voices all around me?

Can I trust in the one who loves me unconditionally, or will I settle for trying to please one who offers me love only momentarily?

What if they all do talk about me? What if they mock me and berate me? What if I am completely alone? Will I still chose Him, or the world?

Sometimes that's a really hard decision for me now; what would it have been like when I was 12? I didn't even try to make the right decision until I was 16...and I'm still just trying.

There was a baby in my house!!!!

I had the best weekend! My friend Catherine and her 7 month old son, Ephraim, came to visit me this weekend and we had a blast! It was the first time I have ever been around a baby for any extended period of time and I can tell you two things; I am absolutely in love with Ephraim, and I am absolutely in no hurry to have a baby of my own. :)

Gizmo, however, is apparently ready for me to have a baby in the house. He spent the entire weekend keeping an eye on Ephraim for us. Seriously! He was never far from the baby. If Ephraim was on the floor, Giz perched himself in a place where he could see the baby (notice the picture). When Ephraim would cry, Gizmo would come quickly to let us know...but even then had his eye on the baby. If Ephraim was crying and we didn't tend to him, Gizmo would wander to him and stick by him until one of us picked him up. By Sunday Giz was EXHAUSTED. :)

Catherine and Ephraim got to Philly in Friday and we spent Friday night with Linda (who is Catherine's Prayer Pal). Saturday was a very cold day so we decided to stay in for most of it. We ran a few errands (including a fun experience at a Philly grocery store on a Saturday afternoon; us and the rest of the city) and then Catherine cooked me gumbo for dinner. It was delicious and I have enough food for the week! Shera came over that night as well and we had a lot of fun. Ephraim was having some trouble by the middle of the day and didn't want to be away from mommy. That was, until I picked him up!! He and I played and laughed while we watched Catherine cook and it was great! He went to bed soon after Shera came, but didn't stay there. I don't think poor Catherine slept much all weekend (I apparently have a wonderful ability to sleep through screaming babies, sorry Catherine!). Poor Ephraim had been sick, wasn't at home with his normal routine, was surrounded by strange sounds and just didn't know what to do with himself. I still thought he was wonderful, but Catherine said he's usually even better than he was. Hopefully he (and Catherine) are getting a good nights sleep tonight!!

We were all exhausted by about 9:00 p.m. on Saturday and went to bed (after I took Shera home). We went to church Sunday morning but could only stay for worship before leaving to head to New Haven, CT. Ephraim was pretty fussy in the morning, until we got to church. Once he was surrounded by people, he was so happy!! He really enjoyed worship as well, which is a great sign! I have decided he is an extrovert. He was only fussy when we weren't around people. The minute he hit a crowd, he was in his element!!

The drive to New Haven took exactly 3 hours and was such an easy drive. We met Catherine's parents there and headed out to dinner with them along with her brother, John, and his girlfriend. The Siphers (Catherine's family) are my second family and are a HUGE blessing to me. It was really great to see them!! There are a handful of people in my life that really make it possible for me to be in Philly. Along with my parents, the love and support of the Sipher family keeps me going, and sane. They are the reason I am even a believer! They picked me up and drove me to church and youth group for years when I was a teenager and have supported me in everything I have done. I love them!!

After dinner we went to see John perform in his graduate recital. He is a trombone player about to graduate from Yale's Music School with a graduate degree. The recital was wonderful and he played amazingly...though I didn't understand most of the pieces he played. :) Catherine, Ephraim and I all spent the night in a hotel room (after Ephraim attended his first college party where we congratulated John and Ephraim immediately passed out, haha). I slept well (thanks to Karen Sipher's kind donation of ear plugs), but it appears Ephraim and Catherine didn't sleep as well. I really do hope they are both sleeping right now!

This morning, we pretty much got up, ate breakfast, packed and headed back to Philly. We hit some traffic on the way back, and I missed a turn in New Jersey which caused us to end up in Delaware, but we still got to the airport before Catherine's flight. We had to run into the airport with and quick goodbye and then it was back to life as usual for me. We didn't even get a picture of me with Ephraim, which is sad, but at least I have some pictures. Besides, Catherine has pictures of Ephraim's first everything, so there is no shortage of pictures from the trip. :)

It was a really fun trip, and so funny to see the differences in how our lives have turned out. Catherine and I have been friends for over 20 years (how crazy is that?!?) and I don't think either of us ever expected to be where we are now...and yet neither of us would want to be anywhere else. And, while I definitely want to have children of my own someday, for now I'm very content with being a surrogate aunt/friend to some of the greatest kids in the world (Ephraim, Paxton, Kyler...) :)

Some Great Things to Check Out...

I don't have much time to write, my best friend since first grade, Catherine, is coming tomorrow with her baby boy, Ephraim!! So, I have some cleaning to do. But, I wanted to quickly mention the 2 new links that I have added to my blog. Belle Tower belongs to my friend Shera. She is incredibly talented and is seeking to become a full time designer. She does home interiors as well as many other things. She describes her line as a "sanctuary of southern style". I think she is amazing, and her product is amazing, so I had to share it with you!!

Little Bits is run by Carisa and her mom as a way to raise support for the Hinson family. Little Bits are baby, toddler and even mommy items created, designed and hand made by Carisa's mom. They have a ton of different items to choose from and you can customize every order! I have bought several things from Little Bits for different friends who have had babies (including Catherine), and I have LOVED everything! So, check out the site...and support the Hinsons!!!

Here is an example of things you will find at Little Bits:
I'll post post an example of Belle Tower products as soon as I can get a picture from Shera. In fact, many of her items are now being sold in stores in Philadelphia! We are heading over to VIX Emporium tomorrow to take pictures of her first store sales!

And...Number Three!

Tonight was the last Kids Club Christmas party. The 5 & 6 year olds had their party and it was, of course, so much fun! Because of Prayer Pals, I was only there for the second half of the party but it was still a blast. It was fun to see a bunch of kids that will be moving up to 7-10's Kids Club soon!

Other than that, today was a pretty uneventful day. If you look to the right you will notice that I have become an Amazon.com affiliate. Basically, if you click on my "widget" and get to Amazon.com and then order anything from them, Amazon will give me part of the profits!! Its not much and I don't expect to make a ton of money from it, but I figured it can't hurt. So, if you ever order from Amazon, just get there through my blog and you can help support me!!

I actually mainly joined because I love music, books, TV and movies and I love to share the things that I love! So, you can check out some of my favorite things. My music, TV and movie tastes might be a bit different from yours, but I would HIGHLY recommend all of the books that I have on my list (except maybe "Invisible Man", its pretty intense). I'll try to keep my list updated, so if you are ever looking for a good book, you can check it out!

Number Two

Today was a day of number twos. It was kids Christmas party #2 (the preteen party) and it was my second try at a Christmas Card picture. I liked the picture we took before, but it wasn't great, and I really wanted to get Mercedes in the picture (the newest addition to my clan). So, we tried again tonight. It didn't quite work out like I hoped...Let's start with the preteen party though.This party was really fun for me because I didn't really have to do anything. I just got to sit back and watch the kids have fun. I took 5 kids; Bonita, Linda, Pedro, Monique and Mercedes. They all had fun and got the presents they wanted.

I lost a dollar to Pedro at the party. I saw a spiderman football that I was sure he would pick, so I bet him $1 that I could guess what he would get. I told Mercedes my guess so she could prove that I was right. Unfortunately, I didn't see the Megatron Transformer on the stage, which is the gift he actually chose. I should have known better!! He and I have the same taste in toys. :)

I also didn't get a picture of Linda with her gift. She picked baby dolls that she can give to her niece, but she was too embarassed to have her picture taken with the gift...in case people thought they were for her. I didn't get a picture of her though; how beautiful is she?!?

I can't believe I didn't get a picture of Mercedes with her gift!!! We saw a sewing machine in the mix when we were setting up the presents and as soon as we saw the sewing machine, we knew she would LOVE IT! She was in the later group of kids to get to pick presents because she has only been coming to Kids Club for about a month. So, we kind of hid the sewing machine behind some other gifts hoping no one would pick it. It was still visible, just not right in front. :) One other girl expressed interest in it, but decided it wasn't really worth it since she doesn't know how to sew. So, Mercedes got it and she was SO excited. She is such a sweet and wonderful girl and I am so glad she is a part of my life now!!!

After the Christmas party we decided to attempt the Christmas picture again. Shera came along to take the picture for us. I piled everyone into my little Jetta and headed to Bonita and Linda's house. (I REALLY need a van!! Please pray with me that God would provide one! I regularly pile 6-9 people in a very small car meant to seat 5). It took us a while to locate Miguel, and we all actually had fun in the car in the meantime. We finally got everyone and lined up for the picture. We did get one picture in which everyone was looking at the camera and smiling...

I'm pretty sure I'm still going to use it...Miguel with his finger in his nose is pretty appropriate...that's just Miguel. Plus, I really like that you can see how tall Dario has gotten in this picture with him standing next to Linda (who is the same height as me).

I was completely exhausted today (that crazy party took a lot out of me), so I didn't get nearly as many errands done as I planned. My friend Catherine and her baby Ephraim are coming on Friday and I need to clean my house to at least make it presentable for them; as well as get the oil changed in my car, drop clothes off at the dry cleaners, pick up some Christmas presents, look up my 3rd great grandfather at the archives (for my mom), meet with Bill...and so on. I also have to figure out how to get a copy of my 2004 tax return. Virginia is claiming that I owe them taxes from that year, but I lived and worked (and paid taxes) in Pennsylvania that year. In fact, I haven't lived or worked in Virginia since 2002. Not only that, but VA is claiming that I owe almost $700 in taxes. I have never earned enough money to owe that much. Oh Virginia...

I have also decided that I want to take Dario, Luis, Bonita and Linda to my parents' house this summer. The boys ask about my dad all the time and I just think it would be a really fun trip. Especially since they are all older and much less high maintenance for me. Its months away, but I'm already excited about the trip!!! :)

It really IS the most wonderful time of the year!!!

Tonight was the Kids Club Christmas Party...and it was so wonderful!! I worked forever on the party, planning and stressing (and I had a ton of help!). In addition to organizing the evening, we also had a ton of set up to do, and some shopping. Yesterday we spent close to 4 hours setting up all the gifts, school supplies, etc. Praise the Lord for Shera, Denise and Patsy!! (And Pastor Andy who can pretty much do everything!) We bought our final gifts this morning and got the final touches done around noon. I was up pretty late last night getting things done (including my AIM stuff), so I decided to take a nap this afternoon. I ended up having a nightmare that the party went horribly and I had to leave it 3 times crying because things were so bad!! It was one of those dreams where I woke up and had to convince myself that it hadn't actually happened. Thankfully, the party went very well; nothing like my dream. I felt better after the party when Carisa and Bill (the Kids Club leaders before me) told me that tonight was the most stressful night of the year for them as well. The planning was absolutely worth it, though, everyone (including me!) had so much fun!!!

We had 93 kids in attendance!! Every one of them got to pick a toy...

a ton of school supplies...

a box of Frosted Flakes, some Handi Snacks and chap stik (we have some random stuff at our church!) :) Oh, and they all got a new sweatshirts. Aren't they cute?!?

I think most of the kids were very happy with their gifts. They got to pick their gift one at a time, the order was based on attendance. So, the kids who came the most went first, and on down. Even the kids that went at the end got really great gifts!

It was a much easier night for me in terms of kids tagging along. Usually I have 7 kids with me on a Tuesday night. However, 5 of them are preteens so I only had Miguel and Tasha with me tonight. Next year Miguel will be a preteen too, so it will just be me and Tasha! It did make things a lot easier to not have to keep up with as many kids before or after the party. I will be taking the other 5 to the preteen party tomorrow night, but I don't have any responsibilities at that party.

Finally, I have to share this with you. While we were setting up all the gifts I found one that perfectly describes my life...Its a bride...she comes with a ring bearer and flower girl ready to go...but no groom. :)

(If you want to see the rest of the pictures from the party, click here)

Slumber Party!

As I write this there is a very intense game of Hide and Seek going on...the older girls (Bonita and Monique) verses the younger girls (Eliza and Tasha). The younger girls are winning by a landslide. :)

Linda is at her dad's house and Mercedes was out with her family, so they missed out on the fun. This is the first time Eliza (she is Pastor Joe's daughter) has spent the night, and its been so much fun!!

We started the evening making our own pizzas. I got the kind with wheat crust, so Tasha and I were the only ones that really enjoyed the food. :) I then made them watch 3 separate Christmas movies and pick which one I should show at the Kids Club Christmas party. I chose "The Crippled Lamb", but the girls unanimously selected "The Birth of Jesus", so that's what we are going to go with.

After dinner and the movies they went to the basement and played and danced for a long time. I have been hearing giggles for hours. The only problem we have had has been a little struggle with Bonita. She spent all day with her Prayer Pal, where she was the center of attention and the whole focus was on her (her Prayer Pal even bought her all her Christmas presents...and then Bonita wrapped them herself, haha). Once arriving at my house, she struggled with sharing and the fact that things were no longer all about her. She threw a small temper tantrum at one point, but we had a little talk and she seems to be doing much better. Tonight was the first time I have ever seen her or Linda become possessive about "their" room. I squashed that pretty fast, making it very clear that it is MY room. She has a right to privacy and to be respected, but she has no rights over the room. She responded well to our talk, which made me very proud of her.

Our evening started out very interesting actually. I picked up the girls (except Eliza, she came over later) and as I was driving back to my house there were tons of people and cars lining the street to my house...and even blocking my street so I couldn't drive down it. It actually made me very nervous as it looked like a fight was about to start...and you never know how far those will go. Turns out, however, that the people were there for a candlelight vigil. Apparently someone recently passed away on that block...I don't really know any details though. No one else on my block did either. The girls and I were just so relieved that it was a peaceful gathering, we aren't used to those!

Santa!!!

We just got back from taking our pictures with Santa...and I just have to show them all to you!! They are (in order), Tasha, Monique, Joey, Eliza, Raheem and Jared. We had a blast! Stay tuned for more pictures later...tonight I'm having a slumber party! :)

My Friends...the Drug Dealers

I had a very interesting experience today. First, let me give you a little background. In the last few months a few new people have moved onto my block, and frankly they scared me a little. Its not easy to scare me, but they succeeded. The spend almost all day every day standing on the corner...so I'm pretty sure I know what they are doing. They also own dogs...a lot of dogs. I have had my suspicion that they are involved with dog fighting. They always seemed distant and somewhat ominous...and basically a little scary.

In the last few weeks I have started saying hello and trying to develop a rep or with them. I started praying that God would give me wisdom about how to handle them...whether I should try and become friends, or keep an eye out for them or even possibly call the cops. I felt Him leading me in the friend direction. Of course, I didn't want to do anything to lead them on or make them think anything more than friendship, so I just stuck with hellos. The slowly responded and I even started to get smiles and laughs. I started to feel less and less afraid of them and found myself enjoying them and praying for them more and more.

Tonight as I was leaving my house I ran into one of the guys and of course said hello. Then, for the first time, he took the conversation farther. He asked me about my work (he sees me with kids all the time), asked about my house remodel (he saw all the people doing the work on my kitchen). Then he proceeded to tell me that he was Alan's cousin (I'm changing the names). Alan lived on my block a few years ago, when he was a teen, and we always got along really well. He was on the block when the kids lived with me and had fun with all of us. Anyway, Alan apparently told this cousin all about me and how nice and fun I was and that I really loved kids. So, John just wanted me to know that he has my back. He lives 2 doors down (the house in between us is abandoned) and said that he will be keeping an eye out for me, and that he was there for anything I need. Then his friend, the other "scary" guy came by and said hello to me and told me that he has my back as well. He lives on the other side of me...

They both told me that they really appreciated how nice I am and how I take care of kids and they wanted to let me know that they are here if I need anything.

What an answer to prayer!!! They are absolutely the most influential people on my block, and they think I'm great! :) I'm excited to continue to talk to them...stay tuned for the say they come to church!!!! :)

That whole conversation brightened my day and got me ready for my evening. Tonight was the church adult Christmas Party and I was in charge of helping with the kids. I had 3 other babysitters, and I was kind of overseeing everything. There were only 7 kids signed up, but with 130 adults coming, we were pretty sure we would have more than 7 kids. We were right...there were 30. Thankfully, they were 30 of my favorite kids in the church and we had a lot of fun!! We had almost 0 discipline problems, which is pretty much a miracle. We had a blast and kept the kids pretty much under control for the first 3 hours. Unfortunately, the party went on for 4 hours. Had the evening ended after the first 3 hours, I would be raving about all the fun I had tonight. However, right now all I can think is, I am not going to do that again. 4 babysitters with 30 kids for 4 hours. That's a lot. Thankfully, I have a year before the next Christmas party, so there is plenty of time to come up with a new game plan for the kids...one that will likely not include much of me; at least as long as the party lasts 4 hours and we only serve them grilled cheese sandwiches to eat. :)

Now I must get to bed. I am going to see Santa tomorrow. :)

Another Fun Day

Today was a pretty fun day. I ended up staying up pretty late last night, so I had a hard time waking up this morning. I was pretty busy with AIM, which is kind of nice...I didn't get bored. :) After the kids got home from school I took Bonita and Miguel shopping for school uniforms. Both of their Prayer Pals sent me money to take them shopping, so off we went! Our first stop, though was the Rite Aid, where we found out that they are doing FREE pictures with Santa on Saturday! Bonita and Miguel weren't too excited about it, but I called Natasha and she said she wants to go. So, we're going to see Santa on Saturday!

It took us close to 2 hours to find uniforms for Bonita and Miguel. Forman Mills only had boys uniforms (well, they had skirts and dresses for girls, but Bonita would not wear either). Unfortunately, Miguel is very hard to size, and their uniform section was extremely disorganized, so it took us a while. Linda had come with us, though she didn't get anything, and was extremely helpful. Bonita was as well and they were actually the ones that tracked down pants that would fit Miguel. Apparently Miguel only likes the dress shirts (he is a funny kid) and the only ones we found came with ties. The ties are removable so he can still wear the shirts to school. He can also wear them with the ties, "when I want to be fancy" (his words!).
Since Forman Mills didn't have anything for Bonita, we headed to Target for her. Unfortunately, we only had about 30 minutes before I needed to get to Teen Club, so we had to rush a bit for her. We found some really cute pants though and a shirt she loved, so in all it was a successful trip. I had hoped we might be able to find something for Linda, but we ran out of time. Maybe next week.
I am finding that even though Kids Club has only been down for a week (other than the Christmas party), I already have more time to spend with the kids...and I am loving it. Its not even just that I have more time, but I'm not so tired on the weekends, so instead of just wanting to sleep, I want to be with them!! In addition to taking Tasha to see Santa on Saturday morning, I am having Bonita, Linda, Monique, Tasha and Mercedes spend the night on Saturday. We are going to make our own pizzas!! I also have to pick the Kids Club movie...or should I say, the girls have to watch 3 movies and pick which one I should show. :)

Most of Sunday and Monday will be taken up with Christmas party preparations. I have most of the "administrative" stuff finished...name tags, the schedule, etc. Sunday and Monday will be shopping and setting up. I will probably take Bonita and Linda with me when I go on Sunday, they are very helpful, and can carry things. :)

Let it Snow!!!

I finally did it!!! I have been trying for weeks to get a picture of me with all my god children, and tonight we finally took it!! I want the picture to be my Christmas card this year, so you will be getting one in the mail soon! (I have some non-crazy faced pictures to choose from as well). :) We had fun taking the picture though, and I even got Dario to pose with me!!

Can you believe how tall he is?!? He just turned 17 and I still can't believe how grown up he looks!!!

I had originally want to take the picture outside, but I couldn't get everyone together until 5:00, and by then it was too dark.

Today was also our first snow of the year! Yay!! It was just enough snow to put a beautiful white coat over things, but not enough to get black and yucky. It was so nice! The kids enjoyed throwing snowballs at each other, so not only was it beautiful but it provided a lot of laughter. I'm not usually a big fan of snow, but this was a great snow day!!

I also meant to write last night...that I love Family Night!!! We had huge Family Night at church last night and it was wonderful! Last month we had a big Family Night, but we were giving away free food, so we kind of expected it. Last night was just as big as last month, but no free food giveaway. I spend Family Night with the kids, and I had a blast last night. There were a few kids that felt it necessary to run and show me every individual ticket they earned while playing games. It made me smile every time. :)

Wednesday is my early night, so I am looking forward to eating oranges (my mom sent me a huge box full of oranges!!), drinking tea, watching Criminal Minds and getting ready for the Kids Club Christmas party. That's pretty close to a perfect night for me. :)

Is it nap time?

I am exhausted!! Its almost like I didn't just get back from a break!! I find myself taking naps during the day, and always ready to sleep. I have been able to get things done fine and feel fine once I'm doing things. But, the minute I have any down time, I'm out! I actually decided today that I am ready for a snow day. I would love a day where I didn't have to leave my house and I could just curl up with Gizmo and watch movies, eat grilled cheese and tomato soup and drink hot chai. Its so ridiculous for me to feel this way, I just got back from Thanksgiving break!!

I think the last few months are catching up to me. It has been an incredibly busy time, coupled with stress that I don't think I realized until recently. I took on a lot of new responsibilities this fall and while I didn't feel really overwhelmed by it all, the pressure that was suddenly on me has taken its toll. That and months of uncertainty as I tried all these new things. I feel like I have been feeling my way through the dark both with AIM and with Kids Club...and that is tiring. I'm excited for our winter break from clubs, which will be here soon!!

In the meantime, I am also excited about everything else that is going on. We found out today that we will get gift cards for the Kids Club gifts next Sunday, giving us 2 days to shop for 200 kids. We actually went out today and bought a few things that were on sale (the sale ends this weekend) and we are hoping for some great sales to start on Sunday. Its going to be a busy few days, but I had fun shopping today so next weekend should be cool too. There are so many details that I am just now figuring out...so this party is going to be interesting. :)

The Kids Club Christmas party and the Prayer Pals Christmas party are 2 of my favorite days of the year, so the work ahead of time will be totally worth it. I have to pick a movie for the kids to watch at the Kids Club Christmas party, and I have 3 options. So, I am going to have Bonita and Linda spend the night on Saturday and will make them watch all 3 and pick the one I should show. :)

Tonight was the God Squad Christmas party and it was a lot of fun. We don't do gifts or anything, but we do decorate the church and spend a lot of time in worship. Sometimes the teens can be so challenging, but that's really because they constantly make me look at myself and see my own sinfulness. Its easy to forget sometimes, but I really do think we have some of the most amazing teens in our ministry.

Tomorrow night is family night, which I always enjoy. This Friday is the Adult Christmas party, which should be really fun and apparently huge this year (I heard we have over 100 adults signed up). I think I will be spending most of my time helping babysit the kids, but its guaranteed to be a fun night for everyone. I did make it to the grocery store this past Saturday, so I will hopefully not have too many errands to run this weekend and can sleep in on Saturday morning. I am loving the sleep!!

And on a completely random note, the man I have always known as my father is in fact my father!! :) I had a blood test done on Friday to find out what my blood type was. My mom and dad are both A positive, so if the blood test came back as anything other than A positive, my mom was going to have some explaining to do, hehe (forget the fact that I look EXACTLY like my dad). :) I got the results today, and I am A positive!!! Whew! :)

I have Lost My mind

There are SO many reasons for the title of this blog. :) I will go through some of them, haha.

I got back to Philly on Tuesday around 2:30. Denise, my Kids Club co-leader called me around 10 (while we were on the road) to tell me that she had been called into work and wasn't going to be able to do the lesson for Kids Club that night. Not a problem, we have several movies we can show, and I have no problem doing that. However, I suddenly had the idea of playing a game to review things from the last semester with the kids. So, I spent a good part of the rest of the ride preparing the game...which included needing a wheel (kinda like wheel of fortune). Thankfully, we had one at the church that just needed some modifications!! But, the prep for Kids Club took me from the time I got home until right as Kids Club started. The game went well and everyone seemed to have a lot of fun, and it was a really good review for the kids. In fact, I think I will do it again at the end of next semester. Still...the movie would have been much easier. :)

When I finally got home on Tuesday night I checked my email to discover that I was WAY behind on my AIM work (like 57 emails and many phone calls behind). Now, because of my personality, waiting until Wednesday to do my work would have been very difficult. So, I proceeded to respond to all the emails I could and saved only the phone calls until Wednesday. That took me until about 7 a.m. I got completely caught up though!!! I took a quick nap and then headed to staff prayer at 9.

Thankfully, because I got caught on Tuesday night, I didn't have to work extra on Wednesday and when my AIM hours were over a 2 p.m., I immediately took a 3 hour nap. That had me rested and ready to go for Prayer Pals. I also pretty much went straight to bed after Prayer Pals, so now I am caught up on my work and my sleep!!

I know the staying up until 7 wasn't the best idea I have ever had...which means it continues with my theme of losing my mind. :)

I am really glad that I got caught up though because the rest of this week and on through about the middle of December will be extremely busy. Here is the quick run down:

Doctor's appt. tmw
Grocery shopping and house cleaning this weekend

Next week will be a "normal" week (which is still pretty busy).
Next Friday is the Cornerstone Adult Christmas Party

The following Monday is the Kids Club Christmas Party (which I will be planning for most of next week).

*** Something to pray for with that...the church that usually donates the presents for the party is talking about giving us gift cards to shop with...they will have the gift cards to us on Dec. 10th. The Christmas party is Dec. 10th. PRAY THEY SEND US MONEY INSTEAD!! Either way, we have to shop for about 200 Christmas gifts OURSELVES this year!! (Hopefully we don't have to do it the day of the party!)

Tuesday is the Pre-Teen Christmas Party (which I normally don't attend, but this year 5 of the kids that I drive to kids club are all in pre-teens! So, I will be going this year).

Wednesday is "normal"

Thursday is the Teen Club Christmas party.

My friend Catherine comes to visit on Friday. We will be driving to see her family in CT on Sunday, coming back on Monday.

That Wednesday is the Prayer Pals Christmas party (which also requires planning and probably shopping).

That should be the end of the chaos. I will head home to visit my parents in the 23rd or 24th, coming back to Philly on the 27th or 28th, depending on ticket prices.

Somewhere in there I also have to fit in a movie date with Paxton, a skating date with several kids, a shopping trip with Miguel and Bonita, a separate one with Tasha as well as my own Christmas shopping. Oh, and I am trying to keep going to the gym regularly and I work 9-2 everyday. Whew!!

I hope it doesn't sound like I am complaining, cause I'm not. This is always a busy time of year, so I am prepared for it. We don't start clubs back up until the end of January, so I will get some good rest time as well as prep time in there.

Still, the next few weeks are going to be interesting...especially if my mind stays gone. :)

I'm still here!?!?

I can't believe its Saturday, and I still have 2 more FULL days in Virginia!! Usually I would be on my way back to Philly, or packing to leave early in the morning. I am so excited to get to stick around!!

The last few days have been pretty uneventful (which I LOVE!), which is part of the reason I haven't posted. The other part is that my parents have dial up Internet, and its about to drive me insane. :) I didn't have Internet at my house until about a year ago, but there is no turning back!!

Anyway, Thanksgiving Day was a really nice day. We went out to eat for the meal (there are only 5 of us) and ate a ton. The rest of the day we just spent time together talking and relaxing. Friday turned out to be just as relaxing with very little activity. Everyone in my family hates crowds and none of us are fond of shopping either, so the idea of going anywhere on Black Friday was not appealing to anyone. My dad and I did have a few errands to run, but neither CVS nor Lowes was very crowded. :) I did have some shopping to do, but all the sales I wanted to hit were still going on today, so I decided to wait.

Instead, over my first 2 days here I read 2 novels and started a third. I LOVE to read, so this has been a GREAT vacation for me! Today turned out to be the most eventful day thus far. I slept in (which I also love to do!) and got up in time for the Tech/UVA game. This is always a big game, as I have mentioned before, and we were not necessarily favored to win. Thankfully, WE DID WIN!!!! It was a really fun game to watch, especially with my family who loves Tech football as much as I do. GO HOKIES!!!

After the game my brother and I headed out for some shopping. The closest shopping to South Boston is an hour away, but we had a good time in the car. My brother and I have the exact same sense of humor, so we laugh together a lot. We ended up visiting several different stores looking for the best deal...but neither of us are impulse buyers, so we didn't buy anything. We both think we found what we are looking for, so we will keep an eye out for the best price (nothing was on an extreme sale). The one thing I am looking to buy ASAP is a treadmill. In fact, I found a good one at a good price, but I wasn't sure if I could get it back to Philly. So, I will wait until I get back to Philly and hope to find the same one at a good price there. (It was on sale, but not a Thanksgiving Day sale, so the store people were pretty sure I could find it just as easily in Philly). I am REALLY excited to get one! :)

I still can't believe I have 2 more full days here! My dad will head back to NC tomorrow, so it will just be me and my mom. I do have to work for AIM on Monday (provided I can find some wireless Internet somewhere in this town!) and I have some Kids Club things to get ready for (invitations to the Christmas party...which I just realized need to be handed out as soon as I get back on Tuesday!). None of that is really stressful though. I do miss everyone back in Philly, but I have definitely enjoyed the rest.

Dear Michael Vick...

Dear Michael Vick,

My name is Trish and I am a graduate of Virginia Tech. In fact, I graduated in 2002, the same year you would have graduated had you not already gone pro. I was at every home game you played at Virginia Tech and even traveled to the Sugar Bowl in 2000 and to the University of Miami later that same year (you were injured and didn't play in the game). I have never actually met you, although I did see you from a distance a few times in West End during lunch. I never heard a bad word spoken about you as a person while I was at Tech. Of course, people had plenty to say about your performance on the field (funny how people in the stands can tell you exactly how you should have played a game...all the while not facing down a line of defenders whose only goal is to take you out), but I heard nothing bad about your character. I was a Michael Vick fan from the first Spring Game you ever played...and for the record, I am still a fan.

I continued my allegiance as you entered the NFL and became an Atlanta Falcons fan on draft day. In the fall of 2002 I moved to Philadelphia, and despite intense pressure from EVERYONE around me, rooted for the Falcons every time the two teams met. 5 years later I consider myself an avid Eagles fan now (growing up in VA left me with no real allegiance to a pro team...the Carolina Panthers were too little too late for true Virginians...besides, who needs a pro team when you have the Hokies?!?). However, no matter how my allegiance to the Eagles grows, I have never been able to root against you. I still can't.

Since the news of this dog fighting has come out, I have heard a lot of negative things being said about you. I find it interesting. In the almost 10 years that you have been in the spotlight, not a single person who has ever really known you has had a single negative thing to say about you. Even now in the midst of this scandal...the people who really know you can't say anything bad about you. Its only the people who have never met you that have a lot to say. That tells me something about who you really are. I hope you see that too.

I was watching the show Kid Nation tonight and a 10 year old boy looked the camera straight on and said, "Its not how many times you fall that matters. Its how many times you get up". I wanted you to know that I have watched you stand tall, I have watched you fall, and I am watching you get back up. I work with inner city youth in Philadelphia and you are one of the few celebrities that I WILL tell my kids to look up to. Why? Because you are one of the few celebrities...one of the few people in this world, who has made a mistake, owned up to it and faced the consequences; no excuses and no whining. There aren't many people like that left in this world. That is integrity. That is a role model. Too many celebrities exploit women, exploit their sexuality, and especially exploit urban culture to get rich and take no responsibility for how their actions affect so many people. You are not like that. Thank you.

I don't know where you are with your faith, and I don't want to sound like I am preaching at all. I hope you see this as an encouragement. When I think of you, I think of King David from the Old Testament. David was a man after God's own heart and was very blessed by God. But, David made a mistake. And then to cover up that mistake, he made an even bigger mistake. David's mistake was WAY worse than yours...he impregnated a woman and then KILLED that woman's husband to cover up what he had done. THEN, he kept all of that a secret. One day, though, David's secret was revealed...and he was disgraced. I think you kinda know that the feels like?

David's response was immediate repentance. That is what I saw from you as well. David still had to face consequences. The child that he bore with the married woman, died...and that tore David apart. I imagine right now, you are experiencing a lot of sorrow from your choices. Please know that because of David's repentance and trust in the Lord, he was restored. David became one of the greatest kings of Israel, is immortalized as "a man after God's own heart" and is in the blood line of Jesus. David's sin is not what defines him today; his heart for God is.

I can envision so many great things for your life. I don't have any idea what God's plan for you is, but I pray that you are seeking it...because I am positive that restoration is part of it. God is the restorer of broken walls, and right now I know you are broken. There are so many kids that could benefit from your life, your struggles...and yes, your talent.

I am so very tired of judging people, and even more tired of being judged. I struggle with judging people, I will be the first to admit that. In fact, that is one of the MANY things that the Lord is working with me on. There are a lot of people out there that think they are better than you. I find that simply hilarious. I know it sounds cliche, but Jesus said it so its not only true, but not something to be taken lightly; "He who is without sin, cast the first stone". It is SO hard for me to hear the voice of God over the voice of judgement and condemnation. I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you right now.

So, I am praying for you. I am praying that you will hear the voice of truth speaking to your heart. The voice telling you that you are NOT defined by your actions, nor by what other people think of you. You are defined by your heart. By who rules your heart. There are plenty of people who claim to know you...to know exactly the "kind of person you are". Not a single one of those people knows your heart. "The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." ~1 Samuel 16:7.

I have to admit that I am writing this letter just as much for myself as I am for you. See, for me, the reason it is so much easier to hear the condemnation rather than the truth is because I believe the judgements myself. I believe that I am too overweight to ever been truly loved. I believe that mistakes that I have made make it impossible for me to be redeemed. I believe that other people are right and I am not worth much, if anything to this world. I believe the lies. Its so hard not to. That is, until I read the truth. The truth is, I am a treasure. The truth is, I am already loved, worthy and redeemed. The truth is, "Those who look to Him [God] are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." ~Psalm 34:5.

Do not be ashamed. You are redeemed. You are worthy. You are loved. Your heart is good, beautiful and pure.

And, if it matters...I am still a Michael Vick fan. Michael Vick the Hokie, Michael Vick the Falcon...Michael Vick the man...and Michael Vick the redeemed.

Sincerely,
Trish ...a Hokie, a woman, a treasure, redeemed and unashamed.