Does it matter what they think?

Do you care more about what people think of you, or about who you really are?

That was the question I asked Linda today, and it made me really examine myself. Linda got in a fight at school today and she spent a good amount of time trying to rationalize this to me. Apparently a boy in her class took her coat and book bag and threw them both in the trash, destroying both and taking all of her school supplies. Now, I can't fault her for being mad; I was mad listening to the story. I can also completely understand why that anger might send her into a fight. Lets be honest; had someone done that to me when I was 12...Let me put it this way, no one would have tried something like that on me when I was 12; everyone was too afraid of me. Shoot, I can't remember the last time I hit or even threatened someone, or even got extremely angry, yet most people still agree that I am not someone they want to mess with. (Okay, I can remember 2 times where I caused physical harm to someone, but both instances were men trying to get something from me that they are not allowed to have...so I don't think that really counts).

Still, I don't want Linda to be the 12 year old that I was. And while I can understand the anger, the fighting is still a problem. So, we talked through the situation and it finally came out that she didn't even fight the boy out of anger. She fought him because she knew if she just let it go, "everyone would talk about me". She fought him because she was concerned about what other people would think of her.

Linda is a beautiful, sweet, smart, and funny girl who really does love the Lord. That doesn't equal cool around here and that certainly won't get her respect. So, she has to make a choice. Will she be the woman God created her to be, or will she be the woman everyone else tells her she should be?

Its a little scary to me that she is finally at the place where she has to make that decision. And its even scarier that I have no control over that decision.

I am so thankful that I finally made the choice to be who God created me to be and not what I thought I should be. Yet, actually I am still constantly faced with that choice. Is the love and acceptance of God really enough, or do I need approval from others as well? Can I follow the voice of God in my heart even when it directly contradicts the voices all around me?

Can I trust in the one who loves me unconditionally, or will I settle for trying to please one who offers me love only momentarily?

What if they all do talk about me? What if they mock me and berate me? What if I am completely alone? Will I still chose Him, or the world?

Sometimes that's a really hard decision for me now; what would it have been like when I was 12? I didn't even try to make the right decision until I was 16...and I'm still just trying.