Hey again! I know I have been a blog slacker, but when you read the bullet points below, you will understand why!
So, here is what is going on right now:
* Still haven't sold the house. We have about 2 or 3 people a week coming to see it (which is awesome) and at least one has expressed interest, but we haven't gotten any offers. For the most part we are patiently waiting, but the constant cleaning of the house and having to leave at random times can get a little overwhelming.
* Still don't have a car. Again, this hasn't really been too much of a problem. We are fine walking most places (although we will probably need to invest in umbrellas soon, haha) and Ashley has been very generous in picking us up when its too late for us to walk home.
* Cornerstone clubs have started up. In some ways it feels really good to be back in the routine. In others, having work to do 4 nights a week, after a full day of school/work is pretty draining. And somehow, I keep picking up more and more responsibility.
* Cyber school continues to go well, but definitely keeps us busy. The girls are still doing well, but do need help throughout the day. I still feel 100% GREAT about the decision to do cyber school, the girls are already thriving so much more than they ever have. Still, its a lot of work for all 3 of us.
* I am unfortunately experiencing some health problems, and as of right now we have no idea why. To make a long story short, I have been having very frequent episodes of being light headed for several months now. They didn't really bother me much at first, but they happen so often (several times a day), and they seem to be getting worse (lasting longer, happening even more frequently). So, I finally went to the doctor. It could be a number of things, ranging from no big deal to very serious, so we are in the process of testing for as much as we can. Because my symptoms are so general, we are basically going to test for everything and slowly eliminate things as we can. I had my first round of blood tests this morning and I have some heart tests coming up and then we will go from there! I'm not TOO worried about it, but its hard not to be at least a little nervous when they start talking about heart and brain issues. So, we'll see! (And before you ask, the doctor said these symptoms don't really sound like they could be stress related). :)
* I am continuing to exercise and train for the Philadelphia half-marathon, as long as the doctor will let me. I have had to back off a little from what I would like to do so I am behind on my training. I don't know how ready I will be for the run, but I will try to do my best.
In addition to all of that, I'm still leading Kids Club, Children's Church in Oct. and THRiVE, co-leading Prayer Pals and God's Girls, and helping out at God Squad and Teen Club. And, working 30 hours a week for AIM. Basically, I'm pretty busy. :)
Overall, I feel pretty good (health issues aside), but I have to really work to budget my time well. That's a learning process for me right now as I also want to make sure I am available for the girls when they need help, and my goal is to have an actual home cooked meal every night (mostly for financial reasons, although we have all made the commitment that we want to be healthier). So far, that part is going well. Now I want to make sure the girls and I get regular time to do something fun and stress free each week. What and when, I have no idea. But, its my next goal. :)
Now, I must go get ready for Kids Club tonight. We have a group (Child Evangelism Fellowship) coming in to lead it, and they have a camera crew following them from Good Morning America. GMA is doing a story on CEF and will film them doing their program at our church! Its exciting, but also takes some planning and work, especially since we found out about this a week ago. Whew! Hopefully it will all go well and will be a really fun kick off night for Kids Club! And who knows, maybe some of our kids will be on TV! :)
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I Moved my Ring to the Other Hand
This might seem like a silly post to a lot of you, but actually it was a pretty big deal to me.
See, I have this ring. Its a very simple ring; a white gold band, that I used to wear on my left hand, the ring finger. There is a story behind this ring...
When I moved to Philly 7 years ago, I had absolutely no idea what God had in store for me. One day while I was doing my quiet time, the Lord took me to this verse:
"Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the LORD." ~ Isaiah 54:1
The passage continues to say:
"For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth." ~ Isaiah 54:5
I was blown away (I had never read this verse before) and immediately struck by all the promise that was within those words. I would have children?? The Lord is my husband??
As I was finishing up my quiet time I felt the Lord leading me to go buy a ring. I know that sounds crazy, but I remember feeling very strongly that I needed to go buy a ring. So, I went on the down Kensington Ave, found a jewelry store and bought this ring. I think it cost about $20. The ring was a symbol of embarking on a whole new life with the Lord, knowing little more than His promise to never leave me.
The next day...I met Linda and Bonita.
At the time I first met them, I had no idea what an important role they would have in my life, nor did I know that they would bring to fulfillment the verse that had impacted me so much the day before. (Many are the children....)
I wear the ring every day; all the time. In fact, I lost it for a few days several years ago and I hated being without it. Since finding it, I have literally never taken it off. Even when I swim, shower, sleep, cook...the ring is always on my finger.
Over the years, however, the meaning of the ring has morphed for me, and not in a good way. While it started out as a symbol of God's promise, I made it into a shield of protection. I would tell people that it was my reminder that I belonged to someone, although I didn't know who yet, and I needed to act and be treated in a way that recognized that. And while that was certainly true, there was also a deeper meaning for me.
Over the years it became my comfort in times of loneliness. As I watched all my friends get married, I would look down at my ring and think, "that's okay, I have the Lord as my husband". Yet, there was still a deep longing in my heart. Its not that the Lord doesn't satisfy, He more than satisfies. But I can't deny that there is a longing in my heart. The ring was a way for me to pretend that the longing wasn't there, but it didn't actually take it away.
Then a few days ago, I read this verse:
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life". ~ Proverbs 13:12
My heart was sick, so sick. I was convinced that the longing in my heart would never be fulfilled and decided that it was easier to pretend that it wasn't even there. But it is. The longing has not gone away, and I don't believe it ever will.
This doesn't mean that I am convinced that I will get married on earth. I might; I really hope I do. And if I don't, then I know my wedding day in heaven will be glorious. Either way, though, my wedding day has not come. So that ring finger, it needs to stay bare. I need to continue to hope and trust, not ignore and deny. I realized that there is A LOT of promise in that verse, and some day the longing will be fulfilled. But, it hasn't happened yet.
So, I moved the ring to my right hand. The ring still has a lot of significance to me. It represents God's plan for me long before I had any idea what He was up to. It represents my hope for my future, on earth and in heaven. When the ring was on my left hand, it was almost as if that part of my story was finished. I realize now, that its far from over.
Its hard to have hope when it seems like there is no reason to hope. My bare left ring finger reminds me to hope. The scriptures remind me why I hope.
I do get sad sometimes when I look at my bare left hand (there is still a tan line where the ring was, haha). In fact, it took me several days to actually make the switch from my left to my right hand. The first time I tried it, I moved the ring and then went to bed. I woke up the next morning with it back on my left hand! I have ignored the hope for so long, thinking that would protect me from being hurt...not realizing all this time that it was making my heart sick.
So, here is my left hand.
Empty but full of hope. I think that pretty wells describes me in general right now.
"But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love" ~ Psalm 33:18
See, I have this ring. Its a very simple ring; a white gold band, that I used to wear on my left hand, the ring finger. There is a story behind this ring...
When I moved to Philly 7 years ago, I had absolutely no idea what God had in store for me. One day while I was doing my quiet time, the Lord took me to this verse:
"Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the LORD." ~ Isaiah 54:1
The passage continues to say:
"For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth." ~ Isaiah 54:5
I was blown away (I had never read this verse before) and immediately struck by all the promise that was within those words. I would have children?? The Lord is my husband??
As I was finishing up my quiet time I felt the Lord leading me to go buy a ring. I know that sounds crazy, but I remember feeling very strongly that I needed to go buy a ring. So, I went on the down Kensington Ave, found a jewelry store and bought this ring. I think it cost about $20. The ring was a symbol of embarking on a whole new life with the Lord, knowing little more than His promise to never leave me.
The next day...I met Linda and Bonita.
At the time I first met them, I had no idea what an important role they would have in my life, nor did I know that they would bring to fulfillment the verse that had impacted me so much the day before. (Many are the children....)
I wear the ring every day; all the time. In fact, I lost it for a few days several years ago and I hated being without it. Since finding it, I have literally never taken it off. Even when I swim, shower, sleep, cook...the ring is always on my finger.
Over the years, however, the meaning of the ring has morphed for me, and not in a good way. While it started out as a symbol of God's promise, I made it into a shield of protection. I would tell people that it was my reminder that I belonged to someone, although I didn't know who yet, and I needed to act and be treated in a way that recognized that. And while that was certainly true, there was also a deeper meaning for me.
Over the years it became my comfort in times of loneliness. As I watched all my friends get married, I would look down at my ring and think, "that's okay, I have the Lord as my husband". Yet, there was still a deep longing in my heart. Its not that the Lord doesn't satisfy, He more than satisfies. But I can't deny that there is a longing in my heart. The ring was a way for me to pretend that the longing wasn't there, but it didn't actually take it away.
Then a few days ago, I read this verse:
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life". ~ Proverbs 13:12
My heart was sick, so sick. I was convinced that the longing in my heart would never be fulfilled and decided that it was easier to pretend that it wasn't even there. But it is. The longing has not gone away, and I don't believe it ever will.
This doesn't mean that I am convinced that I will get married on earth. I might; I really hope I do. And if I don't, then I know my wedding day in heaven will be glorious. Either way, though, my wedding day has not come. So that ring finger, it needs to stay bare. I need to continue to hope and trust, not ignore and deny. I realized that there is A LOT of promise in that verse, and some day the longing will be fulfilled. But, it hasn't happened yet.
So, I moved the ring to my right hand. The ring still has a lot of significance to me. It represents God's plan for me long before I had any idea what He was up to. It represents my hope for my future, on earth and in heaven. When the ring was on my left hand, it was almost as if that part of my story was finished. I realize now, that its far from over.
Its hard to have hope when it seems like there is no reason to hope. My bare left ring finger reminds me to hope. The scriptures remind me why I hope.
I do get sad sometimes when I look at my bare left hand (there is still a tan line where the ring was, haha). In fact, it took me several days to actually make the switch from my left to my right hand. The first time I tried it, I moved the ring and then went to bed. I woke up the next morning with it back on my left hand! I have ignored the hope for so long, thinking that would protect me from being hurt...not realizing all this time that it was making my heart sick.
So, here is my left hand.
Empty but full of hope. I think that pretty wells describes me in general right now. "But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love" ~ Psalm 33:18
Friday, September 11, 2009
My Bad! :)
Sorry, once again, that it has been so long! I have been traveling so much over the last few weeks that as soon as I got home from Indiana, I had to hit the ground running! Things are coming together, slowly, though and I am (again, slowly), starting to get back into the swing of life in Philly. Of course, there are some hiccups...
First, though, my time in Indiana was AMAZING! I had SO much fun catching up with April, getting to know her husband, Matt, better and especially hanging out with their 3 beautiful and FUN little girls! I would have stayed much longer if I could and I REALLY hope I get to see them more often now. A bunch of my friends from high school are trying to plan a beach vacation/reunion for next summer, and this trip really motivated me to start saving!!
I left Indiana feeling so encouraged in my walk with the Lord. We did a lot of fun things (trip to the zoo, day at the park, eating lots of ice cream), and spent a good amount of time just hanging out...and laughing a lot. April has always been someone who I can laugh with, and her husband just added to the fun. It was awesome!
I got back from Indiana on Tuesday just in time to check the girls' school work and then start to unpack. I missed one day of AIM work, and when I checked my email I realized that I had missed a lot. So, I got right to work and basically haven't stopped. It's a really busy time at AIM, so I am thankful that Cornerstone stuff is slow right now. I am praying that things at AIM will slow down in the next 2 weeks as I get ready for Cornerstone to kick into high gear. I don't remember fall being this busy before! Thankfully, fall also brings FOOTBALL SEASON!!! So, I have an outlet for my stress. :) (As long as Tech plays better than they did last weekend).
Another exciting event from this week was Ashley getting a job! She is working at a Christian Foster Care center, which will be stretching for her, but she is really excited. She has been job hunting for several months now, so this also came as a huge relief!! Yay!!
Unfortunately, my house hasn't sold yet, so we are still just praying and waiting. I have to admit, a lot of doubt has been creeping in, but I am really trying to seek the Lord in the midst of it. The girls and I are just ready to move and get settled in!
We also discovered this week that Gizmo has worms. He caught, and killed, two mice while I was away (yay Giz!), but apparently they gave him worms. I am taking him to the vet in the morning. We had to get a stool sample to bring in, so the girls and I have been keeping a close eye on him for a few days trying to catch him "in the act". (Its gross, I know. That seems to be a running theme in my life right now, haha). Finally tonight Linda saw him going and we were able to get what we need before he covered it all up. Yay for cat poop! I am looking forward to seeing the look on people's faces when I pull my 18 pound cat out at the vet. :)
In addition to the bad news about Giz, I got some REALLY bad news yesterday. I had taken my car in to get it inspected and got a phone call late in the afternoon from the mechanic. He informed me that the entire front end of the car (the part that holds the engine up) was completely rusted out and would cost over $1000 to replace (more than the car is worth). In addition to that, I needed new brakes and a few other things that would bring the total cost to over$1500. He told me that my best bet was to just have the car scrapped.
So, I no longer have a car. I MIGHT have some money to get a car if my house sells soon, and if it sells for a good price, but that is a HUGE if. I can't complain at all, the van was an EXTREMELY generous gift and has served me well for over a year. (I am kinda bummed about the $500 I put into replacing the battery and alternator about a month ago...). And, now that the girls are older, and there are only 2 of them, I can start looking into smaller cars since I don't really need as much space as before. Right now, however, my bank account is hovering near zero, so the actual buying of a car won't happen any time soon.
I'm sure the girls and I can manage most things without a car. Now that they live with me, I don't have to drive to pick them up, and its still warm enough to walk places. Ashley is getting a car in a few weeks, so we can do grocery shopping and stuff with her car. Honestly, the only reason I really drive anywhere is because we are usually coming home late at night and I don't like walking at night. (Well, actually I do, but I know it isn't safe). But, I think we can get rides home from other people if its too late, and its no problem at all to walk to the church. So, we'll adjust and do what we can! I'm very impressed with how the girls are handling it...not complaining at all and just saying, "Well, something else to ask Jesus about". I love them so much!!
Alright, I think you are now sufficiently updated on things. I am working on my newsletter tonight and tomorrow, so hopefully that will be in the mail by Monday. Its been 5 months since my last one. Whoops!! (I will definitely argue that I have been busy though, not lazy!). I also need to do some grocery shopping, but we'll have to wait and see how expensive Giz is tomorrow to find out if I can buy more than just tuna fish, haha. I am very excited to be in town, and staying for a few weeks. Hopefully I can get back on a schedule soon! I love schedule!!
Oh, and there is someone coming to see the house tomorrow. We haven't gotten any feedback so far from the few people who have come to look at it, so I don't really know what else to do but pray!
First, though, my time in Indiana was AMAZING! I had SO much fun catching up with April, getting to know her husband, Matt, better and especially hanging out with their 3 beautiful and FUN little girls! I would have stayed much longer if I could and I REALLY hope I get to see them more often now. A bunch of my friends from high school are trying to plan a beach vacation/reunion for next summer, and this trip really motivated me to start saving!!
I left Indiana feeling so encouraged in my walk with the Lord. We did a lot of fun things (trip to the zoo, day at the park, eating lots of ice cream), and spent a good amount of time just hanging out...and laughing a lot. April has always been someone who I can laugh with, and her husband just added to the fun. It was awesome!
I got back from Indiana on Tuesday just in time to check the girls' school work and then start to unpack. I missed one day of AIM work, and when I checked my email I realized that I had missed a lot. So, I got right to work and basically haven't stopped. It's a really busy time at AIM, so I am thankful that Cornerstone stuff is slow right now. I am praying that things at AIM will slow down in the next 2 weeks as I get ready for Cornerstone to kick into high gear. I don't remember fall being this busy before! Thankfully, fall also brings FOOTBALL SEASON!!! So, I have an outlet for my stress. :) (As long as Tech plays better than they did last weekend).
Another exciting event from this week was Ashley getting a job! She is working at a Christian Foster Care center, which will be stretching for her, but she is really excited. She has been job hunting for several months now, so this also came as a huge relief!! Yay!!
Unfortunately, my house hasn't sold yet, so we are still just praying and waiting. I have to admit, a lot of doubt has been creeping in, but I am really trying to seek the Lord in the midst of it. The girls and I are just ready to move and get settled in!
We also discovered this week that Gizmo has worms. He caught, and killed, two mice while I was away (yay Giz!), but apparently they gave him worms. I am taking him to the vet in the morning. We had to get a stool sample to bring in, so the girls and I have been keeping a close eye on him for a few days trying to catch him "in the act". (Its gross, I know. That seems to be a running theme in my life right now, haha). Finally tonight Linda saw him going and we were able to get what we need before he covered it all up. Yay for cat poop! I am looking forward to seeing the look on people's faces when I pull my 18 pound cat out at the vet. :)
In addition to the bad news about Giz, I got some REALLY bad news yesterday. I had taken my car in to get it inspected and got a phone call late in the afternoon from the mechanic. He informed me that the entire front end of the car (the part that holds the engine up) was completely rusted out and would cost over $1000 to replace (more than the car is worth). In addition to that, I needed new brakes and a few other things that would bring the total cost to over$1500. He told me that my best bet was to just have the car scrapped.
So, I no longer have a car. I MIGHT have some money to get a car if my house sells soon, and if it sells for a good price, but that is a HUGE if. I can't complain at all, the van was an EXTREMELY generous gift and has served me well for over a year. (I am kinda bummed about the $500 I put into replacing the battery and alternator about a month ago...). And, now that the girls are older, and there are only 2 of them, I can start looking into smaller cars since I don't really need as much space as before. Right now, however, my bank account is hovering near zero, so the actual buying of a car won't happen any time soon.
I'm sure the girls and I can manage most things without a car. Now that they live with me, I don't have to drive to pick them up, and its still warm enough to walk places. Ashley is getting a car in a few weeks, so we can do grocery shopping and stuff with her car. Honestly, the only reason I really drive anywhere is because we are usually coming home late at night and I don't like walking at night. (Well, actually I do, but I know it isn't safe). But, I think we can get rides home from other people if its too late, and its no problem at all to walk to the church. So, we'll adjust and do what we can! I'm very impressed with how the girls are handling it...not complaining at all and just saying, "Well, something else to ask Jesus about". I love them so much!!
Alright, I think you are now sufficiently updated on things. I am working on my newsletter tonight and tomorrow, so hopefully that will be in the mail by Monday. Its been 5 months since my last one. Whoops!! (I will definitely argue that I have been busy though, not lazy!). I also need to do some grocery shopping, but we'll have to wait and see how expensive Giz is tomorrow to find out if I can buy more than just tuna fish, haha. I am very excited to be in town, and staying for a few weeks. Hopefully I can get back on a schedule soon! I love schedule!!
Oh, and there is someone coming to see the house tomorrow. We haven't gotten any feedback so far from the few people who have come to look at it, so I don't really know what else to do but pray!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Indiana!!
Well, we are back in Philly and I am packing to leave again! Tomorrow morning I am flying to Indiana for a long weekend to visit my friend April and her family. April and I have been friends for 17 years!! I haven't seen her at all in several years, and the few times I have seen her in the last 10 years have been for very short periods of time. I had promised to come and visit her soon after she had her first child. Well, that child just entered 1st grade and she has since had 2 more!! I'm SO excited I can finally make the trip and I am really looking forward to catching up!
April actually had a lot to do with me coming to know the Lord and has been a constant encouragement and wonderful friend. I have gotten to know April's husband over the last few years as well and he and I get along really well, so I'm excited to hang out with both of them for a few days. They also have 3 BEAUTIFUL girls that I am REALLY excited to hang out with. My only fear is that they won't like me, haha.
I am also looking at this as an actual vacation, so I am not taking my computer! Whenever I have my computer I am way too tempted to answer email and work when I shouldn't be. So, when I'm not hanging out with the family, I will be reading or hanging out with Jesus. I'm SO excited! I basically get to spend the weekend with several of my favorite people in the world!!!
Linda and Bonita will be spending the weekend with their mom (they don't have school on Monday), which is very good for them. They haven't really seen her in a few weeks since we have been traveling.
So, you won't hear from me for a few days but you can be sure I will be having an amazing time! Hopefully I won't spend too much time thinking about the forever long to-do list waiting for me when I return (like my newsletter that needs to go out by next weekend!!).
Oh well, off to Indiana!!
April actually had a lot to do with me coming to know the Lord and has been a constant encouragement and wonderful friend. I have gotten to know April's husband over the last few years as well and he and I get along really well, so I'm excited to hang out with both of them for a few days. They also have 3 BEAUTIFUL girls that I am REALLY excited to hang out with. My only fear is that they won't like me, haha.
I am also looking at this as an actual vacation, so I am not taking my computer! Whenever I have my computer I am way too tempted to answer email and work when I shouldn't be. So, when I'm not hanging out with the family, I will be reading or hanging out with Jesus. I'm SO excited! I basically get to spend the weekend with several of my favorite people in the world!!!
Linda and Bonita will be spending the weekend with their mom (they don't have school on Monday), which is very good for them. They haven't really seen her in a few weeks since we have been traveling.
So, you won't hear from me for a few days but you can be sure I will be having an amazing time! Hopefully I won't spend too much time thinking about the forever long to-do list waiting for me when I return (like my newsletter that needs to go out by next weekend!!).
Oh well, off to Indiana!!
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