Now it's Linda's turn!!

I can't believe it, she is 13!! She had a sleepover at my house on Saturday with her and 7 of her friends, and it was so great. She had a "Superstar" party, played fun games, ate lots of food and stayed up really late. I thought I was just going to be locked in my room for the evening, which I was ready for. Instead, I had girls running in my room every 10 minutes laughing and telling me something funny that just happened. I can't complain at all, though, it made me smile.

The girls even did a really good job cleaning up, leaving me to only take out the trash. Yay!!

My favorite part of the night was the "Do you know Linda?" game. I had a list of 10 questions about Linda. For answer wrong, the girls would have to put a piece of Bubble Yum in their mouth. And, any time all of the girls got the answer right, Linda would have to put a piece in her mouth. It was hilarious and a lot of fun.

After the game, and cake, I retreated to my room and read a book while being often interrupted by smiling and laughing girls. The party was definitely a hit and Linda had a great birthday.

I let the girls use my camera for the night, so there are a lot of really great pictures. I have posted them on my Phanfare site, you definitely want to check them out!!

Thirteen?!?

I can't believe it, but Pedro is 13 years old! In fact, last night he came to his first Teen Club (and thankfully, he loved it!). I am still just in shock that he is growing up so fast. Last Sunday I took him and several of his friends roller skating to celebrate his birthday. The rink played several games in throughout the time with everyone in the rink. Pedro won every single one!! It was crazy and so much fun!!


Next is Linda, who is turning thirteen on Sunday. Tomorrow night she will be having a sleepover at my house with 10 of her closest friends. I spent my day today cleaning my house and preparing for the party. Tomorrow I will stock the house with preteen girls' party supplies, and stock my bedroom with movies and books. I have promised Linda that I will stay out of her way unless something happens that I need to step in on (not all of her friends are Christians). I'm so excited for her and I really hope everyone has a lot of fun. 4 of the girls at the party are God's Girls (including Linda) and Tasha is invited as well, so almost half of the girls will be God's Girls. I am praying they will be a great witness to the other girls!! I was 12 when my friends first started telling me about Jesus, and most of our best conversations came during sleepovers.

Tomorrow morning my roommate Jen moves the last of her stuff in!! I'm so excited!! She isn't actually sleeping here yet (we figured it probably wasn't the best idea to make her first night one with a lot of giggling girls), but she will be next week. I am SO excited to have a roommate, and especially her! We have been hanging out more and more lately and she is so amazing and wonderful and already a HUGE blessing to me!!

She also brought with her some furniture, including a new living room chair...or I should say, a new Gizmo chair.

Literally, every time I come home, Giz is chillin' in the chair. Of course, if people are around, he has to sit with them. But, if he's home alone, the chair is his.

I'm So Done

Things I did today:

1) Woke up at 6:45 to drive a teen to school. She informed me she thinks she might be pregnant, and is terrified.

2) Tried to get through a day FULL of work while pondering all the possible repercussions for this 16 year old.

3) Bought a pregnancy test for the teen and waited VERY anxiously for the result (it was negative).

4) Talked at length with the teen about sex, pregnancy and God's desire for her life. Prayed with her as she seeks to follow Him, but faces a lot of pressure from her boyfriend.

5) Counseled another teen who lost her virginity and regrets that choice.

6) Counseled a third teen who was recently dumped by her boyfriend because she would not go as far physically as he wanted her to.

7) Made plans with a 9 year old and an 11 year old to visit the grave of their father...and cried with them as they miss him.

8) Cried with another teen as she shared with me her mom's recent diagnosis of cancer and her fear of losing her mom...on top of the burden she feels to help her mom with the many other kids in the family.

9) Prayed with 2 teens who cried as they expressed hurt that their parents constantly tell them they won't amount to anything and will end up failures like their older siblings.

And I'm done.

Not a Sacrifice

My life is not a sacrifice. My life is a blessing. A HUGE blessing that I do not deserve, but I desire to spend my life praising God for.

Yesterday at church the sermon was about sacrifice, and how God calls us to sacrifice for Him. I won't go into my thoughts on the sermon, but it made me think a lot about my life. I don't understand how anyone can look at my life and see sacrifice.

There are several problems with seeing my life as a sacrifice (or really any life...)
1) I want for nothing in my life...I need for nothing in my life. Where is the sacrifice in that? God has continually provided for my every need, and even above and beyond that (I have TiVo for goodness sakes!!). I don't think you can consider it a sacrifice when you have everything you need.

2) Jesus dies on the cross because of MY sin. He sacrificed Himself so that I can spent my life in a beautiful relationship with Him. In light of that, how can I consider any part of my life a sacrifice? He actually suffered for me. My "suffering" is nothing compared to that.

3) As I was listening to the sermon, I had Bonita sitting on my left. At one point I looked over at her and thought, "I definitely got the better end of this deal". I mean seriously, if this is what sacrifice is...bring it on! I don't understand how anyone can look at my life and see sacrifice. My every need is taken care of. I have people that love and support me all over the country that allow God to use them to love and take care of me. Me?!? And, I get to spend my days loving on the people that God loves. Again, where is the sacrifice?

The bible says that Jesus endured the cross "for the glory set before Him". For Him, that was heaven..that's what was next for Him. I think we too often equate that with our lives...that we endure suffering here on earth as we wait for heaven. And while that is partially true, it isn't the whole story. There is glory set before us here on earth, and we don't have to look hard to see it:



Another misused bible verse (I believe) is the: "present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable". We focus on the first part...that we must be a sacrifice. So, we focus our time on all the things that we have "sacrificed". But, this verse is not at all about what we sacrifice. The verse is about living our lives in a way that is holy, acceptable and pleasing to God. The point is not what we give up, its about how we live our lives so that we can be presented to God (this is where the sacrifice imagery comes in) for His glory.

I think the minute we look at our lives in the context of all the things we have given up, we completely miss the point.

And quick side note: it appears that all of the things that people believe I have given up are in fact mostly material possessions: a nice house, yard, car, etc. Was I ever promised any of those things? No. Can you really call it a sacrifice when you don't have the things that most the world also does not have? No. I do live in a dangerous neighborhood, so I guess you could suggest that I have given up safety and security...but since God is sovereign over all, I would argue that me being here, in the center of God's will for my life, is the safest place I could be. I'm not married yet, but I don't consider that a sacrifice at all. Again, that is simply God's will for my life.

I wonder if that's why more people don't go into missions...because they see a long list of "sacrifices" they would have to make? Does anyone look at their children and think of all the "could have beens"? Do you see your children in light of all the sacrifices that you have made for them? I hope not. Any parent has sacrificed a lot for their children...time, money, convenience, etc. But, most likely, you see your children in light of the incredible blessing they are in your life; so why can't we see our entire lives that way?

The only sacrifice I see when I look at my life is the one that was made on the cross so that I can have the incredible life that I have.

Its Beautiful!!

Spring is definitely here and the weather is beautiful!! Today is a day I should have used to catch up on work and clean my house, but instead I decided to go on a picnic! So, I and several of the teens from church headed up to one of the state parks and spend the afternoon playing frisbee, picnicking, walking around and laughing a lot. We took a ton of pictures as well (they really like having their picture taken). :) I added them to my phanfare site, so check them out!

Tomorrow will be a very busy day. I have Sunday School and church in the morning. We are trying something new in Sunday School tomorrow...it appears that the weeks that I am not in the class; Bonita, Linda and Monique are very talkative. However, when I'm in there they don't talk much. So, tomorrow one of the other Sunday School teachers is going to come and ask me to help out in her class, so we can continue to test this theory. If it turns out that the girls are again very talkative, I will probably find a new Sunday School class to be a part of for a few months. So, we'll see! :)

At 2 I am taking Pedro and several of his friends roller skating to celebrate his 13th birthday! Finally, at 6 we have a talent show at church, and Bonita and Monique will be performing a dance! The last talent show was so much fun, I'm excited to see how this one goes!.

Expanding my Household

In the last few weeks or so I have been feeling like God is moving me toward something big. I had no idea what it was, but I knew something was coming. You ever get that feeling? Its the same kinda feeling I get while waiting in line for a roller coaster. Over the last few weeks, I have been waiting in line.

As I have been praying and reading the bible during this time, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on what God has called me to in my life here in Philadelphia. I have gone back through old journals and learned a lot about myself. What I have discovered is that my favorite part about my life in Philly is my "Philly Family". That includes my 9 Godchildren, but extends far beyond that. I LOVE opening my home to kids and teens and having a warm, safe and loving place for them to come. Over and over again kids and teens comment on how amazing my house is. (In reality, its nothing special. Its 2 bedrooms, 1 bath and a total of 840 square feet...not much there!)

Several things have happened in the last week to reinforce this in me. First, Bonita and Linda brought a friend to church on Sunday that ended up coming over to my house and staying for a few hours with us. She is not a believer and started the morning very resistant to the church. She only came because Linda begged her. By the end of the day, she could not stop talking about how great my house was and how she wants to come to church with us every Sunday (I'm about to need a bus, haha). Linda told me that she went home and went on and on to her mom about how wonderful my house was and how great she felt when she was here.

The second thing came with one of my favorite teens, T. Her family has been talking about moving out of the city and she doesn't want to go. She had a long conversation with her mom about how I could take care of her and that she would really love to live with me!! (I seriously doubt this will happen, but just her desire to live with me is mind blowing!)

Thirdly, Monique and Tasha are most definitely a permanent fixture in my life, mush like Bonita and Linda. They have become like Bonita and Linda's sisters and I am LOVING having them as a part of our family. They spend the night whenever Bonita and Linda do and more often than not the 4 girls are all together when they are with me. This has posed a slight problem in the house as I am running out of room to house all these girls. (Especially as they get older and taller!)

And finally, I spent time reading through my journals from 4 years ago when the kids lived with me, and I felt then that my home was becoming a huge part of my ministry. I am not talking about opening my doors to the neighborhood. I am talking about inviting people (kids and teens) into my home...where they will find love, nurturing, peace and a real place for them.

So, I started praying specifically for my home. I have a roommate moving in with me in May, leaving me with even less room, but a wonderful partner in ministry. She is an AMAZING woman of God with the same heart that I have for the kids and teens. Her desire is also to bring people into our home. So, we both started praying about what God wants to do.

I prayed through possibly moving into a bigger home, but I have always felt called to the home I am in now. And, a lot of time and energy has been put into my home, as well as prayer. Christians have lived here for over 6 years and it is a well known light on the block. As annoyed as I get at times, I have no real desire to leave my block.

That's when God blew me away. One day as I was coming home from the gym, I looked up at the abandoned house next door to me and heard the Lord say, "That is my house". ("my" as is God's house). I stared at it a bit more and quickly began to see my house expanded. I felt the Lord saying that He is going to rebuild those walls as a sanctuary for kids and teens. So, I claimed the house in Jesus name and told God I would do whatever He called me to!

The sense that I have about this house is overwhelming, I can't seem to shake it...and believe me I have tried. This house has been abandoned since I have lived here, which means its probably a horrible disaster inside. It probably has a lot of structural problems as well...and I won't even get started on the trash in the backyard. Frank Hinson told me that I am probably looking at at least $50,000 to make the house livable. Do I have that? Not even close!! Does God have that?? He has that and SO MUCH MORE!! (And I feel very strongly that God is NOT calling me to go into debt as a result of this).

I also have NO skill when it comes to construction nor do I want to rely on the people here that do...so this is a HUGE undertaking. Thankfully, God started it, and He promises to bring it to completion. My desire is to take every step that He calls me to, and no others. This HAS to be all Him, I can't do any of it.

The first step is actually getting the house. I mailed a letter to the owners (who live in Philly and have owned the house since 1991). There are so many possibilities. If there are leans on the house, then I would be expected to pay those if I took ownership. The house isn't worth much at all in its current condition, but there are so many other factors.

So, please pray with me through this step!! God can move hearts and money...and I need Him to do both!!

From there, I need to find money and workers...permits and who knows what else. Thankfully, the Lord DOES know, and He already has a plan for those things.

So, what is my desire for this house? Well, as Jen and I have been praying, we have prayed for several things. Several bedrooms for kids to come and have beds, closets, dressers...a place that feels like home. A school room where kids can come and get help with homework, and computers to help with that. A large dining room where we can have family dinners (and I can teach table manners!). A kids area where the kids can take ownership of things. I want my home to be their home.

The house has been abandoned by its owners and seemingly almost forgotten, yet God has an amazing plan for it. I believe that His desire is for that house to be a testimony to all that He has a plan for them as well. Not matter how banged up or disgusting you are inside, God can restore you to complete beauty. And, He has never and will never abandon you.

Many of these things could be provided my just having another house, but the whole point of this is to emphasize family...that we are a family. My desire is that these kids are accepted, loved, cared for, protected, nurtured and have a place where they belong. I believe God is calling me to do that in my home...and thus He is calling me to expand my home.

I will be sharing more about this throughout the process and especially in my next newsletter, so stay tuned!!

PLEASE be praying!!! This is definitely something that ONLY God can do! I have been reading a lot in Nehemiah about the rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem. It seemed to be an impossible task, and many didn't want to be a part of it. However, God's grace through Nehemiah made the impossible happen...but only with the help of the people of Jerusalem. So, I am asking for your help! God desires AMAZING things and wants to lavish His love and power on us. Let's let Him!!!

The Abandoned House

My current home

My future Home!!

April 16, 2007

A day I will never forget. I remember exactly what I did every moment of that day. There are a handful of national events that I remember vividly. The Challenger explosion (I was in kindergarten), the OJ Bronco chase and then the OJ verdict (sophomore year in high school), September 11th (senior year in college), and now April 16th.

I fell asleep on my couch the night before and even though it was a Monday morning, I accidentally slept in. My phone rang a little after 9 and I looked at the caller id. It was my mom. Wanting to sleep a bit more, I silenced the call and told myself I would call her later. Less than a minute later, my phone rang again, and it was again my mom. Since she never does that, I decided to answer the phone. She told me to turn on the news, something had happened at Tech. No one was sure what, but it wasn't good. Rumors of a shooting, and a gunman possibly on the loose. I turned on the TV and waited.

I remember being irritated with reporters as they asked ridiculous questions about the campus. It was quickly confirmed that there was a shooting at AJ Hall(where I lived during my junior year) and one at Norris. Were they connected? Was it easy to get from AJ to Norris and go unnoticed? Grab a map people!! They are a good 10 minute walk apart, with a field the size of a football stadium in the middle. No, it was not quick or easy to get from one place to the other. Stop your yapping and tell me what's going on.

How many were shot? Were any dead? 2 dead. 3 dead. Numbers are rising. At least 10 dead. 16...in the 20's...over 30...32 dead...the gunman shot himself.

What was going on?!?

Then my phone started ringing. Not with people wanting to pray. Not with people asking how I was doing. "What is going on at your school?" "Have you seen the news?" "What's wrong with the people at your school?" I stopped answering the phone, unless it was my family. They understood, no one else did.

I walked through the rest of the day in a fog, crying seemingly non stop. I cancelled after-school for the day, I knew I would be useless. I did go to God Squad that night, hoping to find encouragement and prayer. No one even mentioned it. No one understood.

Its okay, I don't know how anyone could understand. Virginia Tech alumni...well, we are a unique breed of people. Virginia Tech is so much more than the place where we got a degree. Virginia Tech runs through our blood. I am first and foremost a child God. Second only to that, I am a Hokie.

This is not a knock on my family at all, they are Hokie's as well. No, they did not attend Virginia Tech, but that isn't what makes you a Hokie. Its hard to describe what a Hokie really is, but you know one when you meet them. My mom and dad are Hokies. My brother is a Hokie. My aunt, uncle and cousin are all Hokies.

And that day, our family faced tragedy. While the world watched, listened and judged, the Hokie nation hurt. And we united. It was very difficult for me because I was alone. No candle light vigils, no prayer meetings, no one even wearing orange or maroon. My family was hurting and I couldn't be with them. I was lost, devastated and alone.

The following weekend I traveled to Virginia Tech and discovered that I was not alone. I talked to many people who had felt the same way I did; alone with no one who understood. We all understood, though, and there was healing in that.

Its now one year later, and on this anniversary the same feelings of loneliness and loss have not gone away. Time has begun to heal, but the scars will always remain.

In the year since the tragedy, I have been constantly reminded why I am so proud to be a Hokie. As the nation, and even the world, came down with accusations and criticism, the Virginia Tech family came together, stood by one another and put the world to shame. I listened to news reporters trying to get students to talk about how disappointed they are in how the school handled the shootings. Instead, what they got was unity and a resolve to overcome. While the media wanted to focus on what should have been, Virginia Tech focused on what was next. The world waited for us to fall apart, but we only got stronger.

Applications to Virginia Tech shy rocketed this year, and incoming freshmen could not stop talking about the incredible Hokie Nation that they now desired to be a part of. We showed the world that we are something special. We have something that few people have, and everyone should want to be a part of it.

This has really made me think about Christians. Do we have the unity of the Hokies? Are we quick to love and encourage and stand by one another...or are we quick to point fingers, place blame and tun our backs on our brothers? Are we strong enough to overcome tragedy and unite together when faced with condemnation...or will we crumble under the pressure?

As a body, do we show the world that we have something to be desired? Are we a family that people would want to belong to...where people will feel loved, encouraged, and not alone?

I am so blessed and honored to be a Hokie. And as a believer, I think I have a lot to learn from my Virginia Tech family.

Incidentally, I knew things would happen this way. Here is what I wrote at 11 p.m. on April 16th, 2007:

I don't really know what to say. I don't have many friends left at Virginia Tech, so it’s probable that I don't know any of the people who were killed. However, I am absolutely affected. My heart is broken for the victims and their families. My heart is broken for the current students and faculty who will have to put the pieces back together and go on with their lives.

This is so much more than a crazy story to me, it hits home. From now on when I tell people I graduated from Virginia Tech they will no longer respond, "Isn't that where Michael Vick went?" Instead they will say, "Isn't that where that big shooting happened?".

The attention of the nation is on Virginia Tech and everyone is waiting to see how the Hokie's will respond. What people will find, I believe, is an incredible response.

After 9/11 the country of the United States came together to support and encourage one another, and we stood united as one nation. We came together to fight against the attackers and keep our country safe. However, when things started to look difficult and didn't go the way we wanted them to, we turned against one another and have become a divided nation. The terrorists succeeded.

That is not what you will see happen at Virginia Tech. Through this tragedy you will get to truly see what an incredible University Tech is, and the amazing caliber of people it employs, educates and graduates. You will see Hokies unite all over the country and stand by the students, the faculty, the administration, and the police department. As hard as the media might try, you will not see Hokie's turning against one another. We will not be divided. The attacker will not win.

Every year when the Virginia Tech football team goes to a bowl game everyone asks, "What is a Hokie". Now we have an answer.

The nation is about to see what the Hokie's are really made of.

Hokies

Watch This

Weekly Wrap Up

Well, its been a very busy week for me with many ups and downs...and VERY little sleep. Here is a quick run down of the highlights. (I will be writing more philosophical thoughts soon, but I need to catch up on my sleep first)

First, VBS with the AIM group. J painted Tasha's fingernails for her...

On Wednesday night at our Girls' Prayer Night we decorated our own prayer journals...

Thursday I went to the Jones vs. Conwell softball game. We had God's Girls on both sides and I LOVED watching them support and encourage each other. Last year these 2 teams weren't allowed to play each other because it always ended in a brawl. God is awesome!


Tonight I went prom dress shopping with one of the teens. We didn't find the perfect dress yet, but we are on our way...


And finally, I got another piercing!! This time it was my tragus. Yes, that is the correct name for it, I looked it up. :)

No, it didn't hurt and yes, I love it! The piercing place that I went to has a buy 4 piercings, get the 5th free...so stay tuned to see what I pierce next! (Don't worry...I'm pretty sure I'll stick with parts of the ear. Although I do think lip rings are cool...)

I'm really hoping to get some good sleep tonight, but we'll see. I think I'm getting a cold. The weather is changing and my body doesn't like it...and my extreme lack of sleep (I averaged less than 4 hours a night all this week) doesn't help. I have eaten plenty of oranges though! :)

I am meeting a group at the Hope House early tomorrow morning to get them started on cleaning. My plan is to tell them what to do and then head home to rest some more. Tomorrow night I am speaking at a college group along with my roommate Jen. My next several weekends are pretty booked with Pedro's birthday celebration, the church talent show (which includes a performance by many of my kids), Kiara's birthday celebration, Jen's college graduation, Kids Day at Philadelphia Biblical University and then a kids day at our church. In fact, my next free weekend isn't until May 23rd!! So, hopefully I will get some really good rest tomorrow!!

Its late...or early...

Yes, you are reading the time correctly...its 2 a.m. and I am still up. Actually, I am going to bed soon but I wanted to write a little bit. This week has been SO busy and there has been so much going on. My blog is often my place to debrief and reflect on things and I find that the busier the week, the more I need to debrief.

Unfortunately, so much has been going on, spiritually I feel all over the place. Okay, honestly, I am struggling. A lot. I had to make a really tough decision this week, and I am still not sure if I made the right one. I definitely sought the Lord in it and made the decision that I believe is right. But, only time will tell. More on that later...

I've also been battling with the Lord a lot this week, through my own failures and heartache as well as those around me. I promise to share more on that later as well...I just need time to process, and since its 2 a.m. and this is my first chance to sit down...well, the processing hasn't happened yet.

Activity wise this week has been really great. I have worked a ridiculous amount of hours (I'm already over 40 hours), but its all been so good. Elizabeth and I are splitting the responsibility of leading the AIM group and its been working well with my schedule. I am still able to do my normal AIM work from 9-2 each day (Elizabeth is with the group in the mornings). Then I head to the VBS that they are leading from 3-5. I have been able to take some kids with me as well, which is always fun. After VBS I head to my Cornerstone evening ministry. After that is over I head back to the AIM group for evening debrief and worship. It has been GREAT to end every day with worship!!!

Monday was also full of a lot of turmoil as I faced a really tough decision (the one I alluded to earlier). My heart was heavy all day and just really took its toll on me, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Tuesday brought a few surprises. First, I decided at the last minute to change my Kids Club lesson. I got the lesson prepared in time, but after I finished teaching it I thought it was the worst lesson I have ever done. I don't know if that's really true, but that's how it felt. As I was finishing my lesson prep, I got a phone call from one of the kids (9 years old) saying that she had come home from school and no one was home. So, I went and picked her up and spent the afternoon with her. Well, she really just tagged along wherever I went, but we had fun together. We got to go see one of the teens (and God's Girl), T, play in a softball game, which was great. Actually, another teen, P, is in her team as well. They are both God's Girls and I love them! It was really cool because T was the pitcher and P was the catcher. I was REALLY proud of T as I watched her really step up as a leader on the team. She is by far the best player on the team, but doesn't act like it, and she spent the entire game encouraging the rest of the team. It was obvious that her entire team loves and respects her, which is amazing. I didn't stay for the whole game, so when I saw her later I asked if they won the game. She said, "No, but I don't think thats important. Whats important is that we played well, and we did that, so I was proud of my team". Isn't she amazing?!?

Also on Tuesday I got a phone call from one of the teens who had the electricity turned off in her house (a mistake of the electric company, and its already back on). She asked if she and her 3 year old sister could spend the night, and I said yes. My house is not really equipped for 3 year olds, but we survived and managed to have fun! The 3 year old was born addicted to crack (she is adopted) and it was very interesting spending time with her and watching her developmental issues. I don't know a lot about toddlers, but I know that she is different. It really made me think about the possibility of becoming a foster parent to crack babies...they need so much love and attention that few people actually give them, especially in a hospital. Don't worry, I haven't signed up yet, but it got me thinking. She was wild, but I really enjoyed her!

The bright side of Kids Club was that we had a ton of leaders there and they were all awesome! I have always heard it said that you can't grow until you have the leaders in place to deal with the growth. Well, we definitely have the leaders, so I am praying for the growth! We have a lot of teen leaders, and sometimes they are more teenagers than they are leaders. This week, though, they were all amazing and so helpful! I really enjoyed them!! And, I always enjoy the kids. :)

I didn't take the teen and her sister home until after noon today, and then had to spend some time cleaning up (although much more cleaning will be necessary this weekend. Let's pray I can get motivated to actually do it!). I went to VBS again and this time took Bonita, Monique and Tasha. We laughed a lot!! Prayer Pals was also a BLAST tonight! We only had 5 kids there, and that turned out to be a blessing. All of the kids had their letters finished by around 6:30, so we went outside (it was warm!) and played a group game (with me and the other leader, Harry) for the rest of the time. We all laughed a lot and had a really good time!!

After Prayer Pals I headed to our Girls' Prayer Night and that continues to blow me away with how amazing its going. Tonight we decorated our own prayer journals (I will post pictures on Phanfare this weekend!) and in the coming weeks we will be sharing things that we write in them. We already had a huge prayer request answered this week and were all so excited to thank God for it! We spend the first part of the night doing an activity (we alternate weekly between crafty things and exercise things...next week is Tae Bo!). After that we spend some time in prayer. I am seeing the girls grow so much! They are becoming more open with each other, and with the Lord. Its draining to be out so late so many nights of the week, but its totally worth it!!

To top all of that off, the AIM trip is going really well. The team is working hard, growing and learning a lot and really blessing me as they share how God is changing their hearts. And, they are a really really fun group! So, while I don't like getting home after midnight EVERY night, I'm at least spending that time with people that I really enjoy. :)

Tomorrow will be another busy day, but its the last day of the AIM group. Tomorrow afternoon I am going to watch the Jones vs. Conwell girls softball game. Jones and Conwell are both middle schools in the area, and are huge rivals. The cool thing is that we have teens (and former God's Girls) on both teams! Normally, that would mean we should be ready for a fight (seriously, these schools hate each other). But, our amazing girls are excited to have God's Girls on both sides and are already encouraging one another. I'm so excited to go to the game!

Friday will be a MUCH more low key day with just my normal AIM stuff (the group will be leaving early in the morning). I am taking one of the teens shopping for her prom dress, but that should be a lot of fun. Saturday will be low key as well. Jen (my future roommate) and I are speaking to her church's college group Saturday night, and we are taking T with us. Jen is using it as a support raising time, and I am going to support her and share more about what God's doing in Kensington. And, we both just want to hang out with T. :) So, I plan on sleeping until I wake up Saturday and then just getting things done from there. At this rate, it will probably be waking up just in time to leave for the church. As wonderful as this week is, I miss sleeping!!

What I've been doing

I know it has been a while since I updated. Part of that was because I have been very busy, but mostly its because I really haven't had much to write. I don't really have much today either, but I thought I would write a little something.

There is an AIM group in town right now that I am helping lead. They have been to Philly 2 times before, and went on a trip to New Orleans 2 years ago (that I also helped lead). This is a group that I really enjoy and is always a blessing...and so far this year is no different!

They arrived on Saturday and have already been blown away by God. Yesterday they held a cookout on Kensington Ave. and afterwards went on and on about all the incredible things that God has shown them. We were up very late because the students just wouldn't stop talking about the Lord!

I also really enjoy the leadership team every year, and again this year does not disappoint. I stayed up even later having wonderful and fun conversations with the leaders about the Lord, the presidential election, and all of our embarrassing moments. We pretty much solved all the world's problems, prepared ourselves for the return of Christ, and laughed a lot. It was wonderful.

I am really excited about this week with the group. It is going to be incredibly busy as I continue my normal AIM responsibilities, my normal Cornerstone responsibilities, AND add on project leading responsibilities. But, as weired as it sounds, I really need this week. Aside from a more full schedule, this project also brings a lot of fun, a group passionate about the Lord, and corporate worship EVERY NIGHT! Its also a change from the norm and an opportunity for me to be challenged, and blessed in new ways. So, I'm really excited!!

I have also been learning A LOT and challenged A LOT in my relationship with the Lord. Basically, what I am learning is that intimacy is HARD. REALLY HARD. The deeper I go, the harder it gets. It doesn't make sense, but its true. The deeper I go with Him, the more He asks of me and the more He changes me. And, while I can always look back and see His incredible goodness every step of the way...the fear of going deeper is still there.

I will write more about this when I have time...and when I actually have something to write. At this point, the only major realization that I have come to is: Intimacy is hard. Profound, I know. :)

And one final note. I have been joking all weekend that my guy friends are continually giving me reason after reason to not get married. As they fart constantly and talk about things I never need to hear, I start to think that maybe marriage isn't for me. Then, today I read a very interesting article. Here is an excerpt:

"Having a husband creates an extra seven hours of housework each week for women, according to a new study. For men, tying the knot saves an hour of weekly chores."

Considering that the study goes on to say that single women in their 20's and 30's actually do the least amount of housework of all women, while single men do the most housework among men...I'm building quite a case for staying single. :)

Very Busy

I have been extremely busy this week, working 36 hours already (in 3 days!). This is a really busy week with AIM stuff, so I work from the time I get up until I leave the house for church and then I work a little more when I come home before I go to bed. I'm not overwhelmed, but I am tired!

Of course, I have taken all of my limited free time to continue to add pictures to my Phanfare site, so definitely check it out!! It has been very bittersweet to go through all of my pictures of the last almost 6 years. (You can tell I got a digital camera in 2006...the number of pictures picks up quite a bit, haha). I can't believe all the things I have been allowed to do and the incredible memories I have accumulated. I miss a lot of those times, but I am SO thankful to have had them.

It has also really brought me to my knees as I watch some of the kids struggling to find themselves...to find their way on their own. Things were so much easier for all of us when they were small and innocent. They aren't so small anymore, and their innocence is fading. My role in each of their lives is constantly changing, which is harder for me than anyone else, haha. But, its never been about me, and it never will be. Its all about God's amazing plan for them. They are His and NO ONE can snatch them away from Him. These pictures are a constant reminder how incredibly blessed I am to be a part of that plan.

True Love

In Sunday School this week we talked a bit about anger (ironic, I know). Carisa talked with the girls about how we often get the most angry at those we love the most. She talked to us about how she loves her husband very much, but sometimes she really doesn't like him at all.

As she was talking, I started thinking about my treadmill. I know that sounds funny, and it is. Nonetheless, I have a very deep love/hate relationship with my treadmill.

When I first got the treadmill, I was in love. I was so excited to spend time with it. It was work at times, but that didn't matter, I just loved my treadmill. I especially loved having it around all the time. I didn't have to leave to go to the gym, my treadmill was right there. Whenever I had the urge or desire to run, I could just hop right on my treadmill. I ran almost every day.

Slowly, though, the realities of how difficult a relationship with a treadmill mill really is have set in. I am often more annoyed with my treadmill than I am enamored with it. While I used to be excited to have it right here with me, I now find it in the way at times. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I look at it with a smile on my face ready to go for a run. Other times, I growl at it and wish it would go away.

My treadmill and I have some really good times together, but we have some really hard times. Its not easy to stick it out with my treadmill, but I know its worth it. My treadmill has made me a better person and it constantly challenges me beyond what I think I can do. I have to constantly depend on the Lord in my relationship with my treadmill. If left to my own devices, I would have given up long ago and divorced it without a second thought. I know its hard to imagine just throwing away love like that, but I am a sinful person in desperate need of Jesus.

In the long run, sticking it out with my treadmill will be completely worth it. I am being molded into the woman that God created me to be through my relationship with my treadmill. That has always been my prayer...that whatever love comes into my life is there to challenge me, sharpen me, make me more like Him, and lead me to fall more and more in love with Him.

My treadmill does that. This isn't just a fling...I think I have found the one. Let's pray I don't get scared and bail. I really want to stick this one out...