Conspiracy

There is a conspiracy developing against me on my block. I don't want to give away too many details but it appears that there is a block wide conspiracy with the goal of driving me absolutely insane. Before you laugh off my theory, here is the evidence.

It started with the guys who like to blare their car stereos while they work on their cars. Doesn't sound too bad until you realize that their cars are parked directly in front of my house and their favorite time to work is early Saturday morning. Next came the ridiculously loud music my neighbors play in their house. I can't really hear the music, but the sub woofers make sure I can hear, and feel, the beat of the music. There is no rhyme or reason to the time the music starts or the duration it lasts. I actually prefer it at night because that's when I can wear earplugs and take NyQuil to help me sleep. However, they seem to prefer the daylight hours when I am sitting at my desk trying to work. Today I listened to the same beat for 3 hours straight. I'm pretty sure that is the same tactic the FBI uses to torture terrorists.

Then there are the hundreds of dogs that suddenly live on the block. Okay, hundreds is probably an exaggeration, but I would say that there are at least 25 pit bulls living on my block...of about 20 houses. (Tell me there is no dog fighting in the city...). Anyway, these dogs LOVE to bark at one another and whine when left alone. I am not exaggerating when I say that I see a new dog chained to a railing every day when I walk out of my house...and none of the dogs are quiet.

The music started my suspicions of a conspiracy and the dogs heightened my awareness. I wasn't 100% convinced until today...the day the rooster moved in. That's right, in the middle of Kensington in the city of Philadelphia I have a real live, early rising rooster living on my block. There is no denying it, something sinister is going on. My neighbors have banded together to slowly but surely drive me out of my mind.

Why they want me to leave, I don't know. I like most of my neighbors and they are always very nice to me. They even do a great job taking care of me; helping me carry my groceries, keeping an eye on my house when I'm away, etc. We have great conversations about life and I enjoy playing with their kids. They always smile and say hello and notice when I have been away for a while. It seems like such a great place to live. Apparently that is all just a cover for their secret plan. I'm calling it Operation Insane Asylum.

I'm trying to gear myself up for the next attack, but they are very sneaky and I have no idea what they might try next. I have considered the possibility of a counter strike in the near future.; 4 a.m. hanging of pictures? Maybe if I just let them know that I am on to them, they will back off. I don't think they scare easily though...

Hmmm...I think their tactics might be working...I may in fact be slowly going insane. :)