Ruth and Me

Today was my day off, and I actually took a day off! Other than driving the girls to their first ice skating lesson, I didn't do anything for anyone today. I just did what I wanted. I hope its okay that I liked that. :)

So, I have been reading the book of Ruth and I have learned SO much! Its a short book, but I can't seem to get all the way through it. I have read it before, and I still have a lot of questions about her and Boaz and how it all happened, but that's not the point right now. I started reading the book and found myself identifying with Ruth in so many ways. In fact, I kind of started envisioning myself as Ruth. All of the circumstances of her life are different from mine, but I think Ruth is a lot like me. At least, I want to be like her.

The book of Ruth doesn't tell us a whole lot about Ruth, so a lot of what I am going to say comes from what I think as I read about her. I am also reading the book "Unshaken" by Francine Rivers. "Unshaken" is the book of Ruth told as a story. It is based completely on scripture, but extra dialogue and characters are added to make it more of a story. That book is also helping me a lot in really learning about Ruth.

Ruth was a Moabite, not an Israelite. She was not one of God's chosen, and knew very little about the God of Israel. What she did know came from Naomi, her mother-in-law. For some reason, Ruth believed all the stories she heard about God. She trusted in "Naomi's God" without questions...she knew He was everything she had heard He was. At a very young age, Ruth's husband died. This was after her father-in-law and brother-in-law had also passed away, leaving 3 grieving widows in one family, with no husbands or sons to care for them. The easiest thing for Ruth to do at this point would have been to go back to her father's house, find another husband and live a good life. She was still young and able to have children, and logic said that in order for her to ever marry and have children, she needed to go back to her father. Her sister-in-law was in the same position as Ruth, and she chose to go back.

That was not an option for Ruth though. Not only did she feel incredible loyalty to her mother-in-law, she knew that she had to follow the God of Israel. Naomi was heading back to her home, Bethlehem, where they worshipped the one true God. Ruth wanted to go. She had to go. She knew it would be hard and she was giving up a lot, but she just had to go.

I can't count the number of times that people have suggested that I leave full time ministry in order to find a husband. If I'm not willing to leave ministry, I should at least leave inner city Philly since it isn't exactly a mecca for young Christian men. Logic apparently tells most people that in order for me to find a husband and get married, I need to make myself more available and attractive to men, which won't happen in inner-city Philadelphia. While I disagree with this idea, I will admit that the number of young, single, Christian men in Kensington is less that the number of fingers on my right hand. I have also found few men seeking to live the life of an inner city missionary. However, like Ruth, I can't fully explain it, but I have to follow the God of Israel. I know that He is the one true God, and while logic says one thing, I know that I would never be fully happy if I didn't follow Him where He called. I also know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am called to inner city Philadelphia.

I don't know how long it took Ruth and Naomi to get to Bethlehem, but I can't even imagine what was going through Ruth's mind along the journey. She has lost her husband and just left her entire family behind to follow this God that she only knew from stories. It doesn't say it in scripture, but my guess is that Ruth cried a lot. I mean, she was a woman. :) Her situation was desperate to say the least, and she had no idea what the future held. She didn't really even know this God she was trusting in. She had heard no promises from Him, never seen Him. She hadn't grown up knowing Him; in fact she had grown up serving and worshipping other gods. She couldn't explain how, but she knew that the God of Israel was the one true God...but that didn't make the lonely nights any less lonely. There had to be so many unanswered questions running through her mind. How would she provide for herself? Could she care for her mother-in-law alone? Is there any possibility that she would ever marry? Would she ever bear children? Her mother-in-law was getting old and wouldn't live forever. What would she do when Naomi died? Could she survive alone?

I don't know what the future holds for me. I don't know if I will ever marry, or have children though both are huge desires of my heart. There are many times when I wonder how I will be able to provide for myself. I wonder all the time if I am just going to be left alone, and if I am, I wonder if I will really be able to survive that. My situation is not nearly as desperate as Ruth's, but I have the same questions and fears in my mind. I also trust in, and love the same God she does. The difference is that I do know that God that I am trusting in. In fact, it wouldn't take me long to come up with a long list of the ways that He has been faithful to me throughout my entire life. Not to mention, I have an entire book full of stories of His faithfulness to His people, and His promises for their, and my, future.

I have noticed a lot of incredible characteristics in Ruth. She is an incredibly strong woman, enduring indescribable hardship yet not falling apart. I used to think that the mark of strength was being able to endure without anyone knowing that you are struggling. My guess is, Ruth couldn't hide her sorrow or her struggles. I have come to realize that strength has nothing to do with what other people see (or perceive). It has nothing to do with whether or not people know that you are struggling. Instead, strength, to me, has to do with where you place your struggles. Do you place them in the hands of God, trusting in Him that no matter what the circumstance, or the feelings that go along with that circumstance? Websters dictionary describes strength as the "power to endure". I don't know what emotions or inner struggles Ruth was facing during this time, because in the end all of that is irrelevant. Ruth trusted in her God and she endured, that is strength. I don't care what I look like when I struggle, or how people perceive how I'm handling a certain situation...I just want to trust in my God and endure. I want to be strong.

Ruth was loyal. Under no circumstances was she going to leave her mother-in-law, least of all to take care of herself. Her loyalty to Naomi also showed her loyalty and faithfulness to God. She wasn't seeking her own way. She wasn't looking to herself or any person to take care of her, she trusted in God to do all of that. Ruth stood by Naomi in the most difficult times, and never lost her faith in God. I would like to be known as loyal. Loyal to my family, to my friends, and above all to my God.

There are so many other things that I see in Ruth that I am processing through. This is as far as I have gotten in the story. I am excited to read the rest, though I know how it ends. I haven't yet read exactly how it happens, but I know God provides a Redeemer for Ruth; a man who fights for her, marrys her and gives her children. I know how my story end too, though the middle part is still unsure. I know that I have a Redeemer, who has chosen to marry me and will take every hardship I have endured and redeem it for the glory of the God of Israel. I will read the rest of the book of Ruth, and I am excited to see what else I can learn about myself, and about the God I love so much. For me, however, that part hasn't been written...or maybe it has and He just hasn't read it to me yet. Either way, I'm still waiting to hear/read the rest! :)

*This is a side note, but something that's cool that I wanted to share. I am really into the meaning of names, and I believe that God has a purpose for every one's name, even though our parents technically gave them to us. Ruth means "Companion or Friend". That fits the story quite well, don't you think?

Well, my name, Patricia, means "Noble". When I looked it up, a synonym that was listed was "princess"!!! An antonym that was listed was "unimpressive". Take that one satan! :)