I Moved my Ring to the Other Hand

This might seem like a silly post to a lot of you, but actually it was a pretty big deal to me.

See, I have this ring. Its a very simple ring; a white gold band, that I used to wear on my left hand, the ring finger. There is a story behind this ring...

When I moved to Philly 7 years ago, I had absolutely no idea what God had in store for me. One day while I was doing my quiet time, the Lord took me to this verse:

"Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the LORD." ~ Isaiah 54:1

The passage continues to say:

"For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth." ~ Isaiah 54:5

I was blown away (I had never read this verse before) and immediately struck by all the promise that was within those words. I would have children?? The Lord is my husband??

As I was finishing up my quiet time I felt the Lord leading me to go buy a ring. I know that sounds crazy, but I remember feeling very strongly that I needed to go buy a ring. So, I went on the down Kensington Ave, found a jewelry store and bought this ring. I think it cost about $20. The ring was a symbol of embarking on a whole new life with the Lord, knowing little more than His promise to never leave me.

The next day...I met Linda and Bonita.

At the time I first met them, I had no idea what an important role they would have in my life, nor did I know that they would bring to fulfillment the verse that had impacted me so much the day before. (Many are the children....)

I wear the ring every day; all the time. In fact, I lost it for a few days several years ago and I hated being without it. Since finding it, I have literally never taken it off. Even when I swim, shower, sleep, cook...the ring is always on my finger.

Over the years, however, the meaning of the ring has morphed for me, and not in a good way. While it started out as a symbol of God's promise, I made it into a shield of protection. I would tell people that it was my reminder that I belonged to someone, although I didn't know who yet, and I needed to act and be treated in a way that recognized that. And while that was certainly true, there was also a deeper meaning for me.

Over the years it became my comfort in times of loneliness. As I watched all my friends get married, I would look down at my ring and think, "that's okay, I have the Lord as my husband". Yet, there was still a deep longing in my heart. Its not that the Lord doesn't satisfy, He more than satisfies. But I can't deny that there is a longing in my heart. The ring was a way for me to pretend that the longing wasn't there, but it didn't actually take it away.

Then a few days ago, I read this verse:
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life". ~ Proverbs 13:12

My heart was sick, so sick. I was convinced that the longing in my heart would never be fulfilled and decided that it was easier to pretend that it wasn't even there. But it is. The longing has not gone away, and I don't believe it ever will.

This doesn't mean that I am convinced that I will get married on earth. I might; I really hope I do. And if I don't, then I know my wedding day in heaven will be glorious. Either way, though, my wedding day has not come. So that ring finger, it needs to stay bare. I need to continue to hope and trust, not ignore and deny. I realized that there is A LOT of promise in that verse, and some day the longing will be fulfilled. But, it hasn't happened yet.

So, I moved the ring to my right hand. The ring still has a lot of significance to me. It represents God's plan for me long before I had any idea what He was up to. It represents my hope for my future, on earth and in heaven. When the ring was on my left hand, it was almost as if that part of my story was finished. I realize now, that its far from over.

Its hard to have hope when it seems like there is no reason to hope. My bare left ring finger reminds me to hope. The scriptures remind me why I hope.

I do get sad sometimes when I look at my bare left hand (there is still a tan line where the ring was, haha). In fact, it took me several days to actually make the switch from my left to my right hand. The first time I tried it, I moved the ring and then went to bed. I woke up the next morning with it back on my left hand! I have ignored the hope for so long, thinking that would protect me from being hurt...not realizing all this time that it was making my heart sick.

So, here is my left hand.

Empty but full of hope. I think that pretty wells describes me in general right now.

"But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love" ~ Psalm 33:18

My Bad! :)

Sorry, once again, that it has been so long! I have been traveling so much over the last few weeks that as soon as I got home from Indiana, I had to hit the ground running! Things are coming together, slowly, though and I am (again, slowly), starting to get back into the swing of life in Philly. Of course, there are some hiccups...

First, though, my time in Indiana was AMAZING! I had SO much fun catching up with April, getting to know her husband, Matt, better and especially hanging out with their 3 beautiful and FUN little girls! I would have stayed much longer if I could and I REALLY hope I get to see them more often now. A bunch of my friends from high school are trying to plan a beach vacation/reunion for next summer, and this trip really motivated me to start saving!!

I left Indiana feeling so encouraged in my walk with the Lord. We did a lot of fun things (trip to the zoo, day at the park, eating lots of ice cream), and spent a good amount of time just hanging out...and laughing a lot. April has always been someone who I can laugh with, and her husband just added to the fun. It was awesome!

I got back from Indiana on Tuesday just in time to check the girls' school work and then start to unpack. I missed one day of AIM work, and when I checked my email I realized that I had missed a lot. So, I got right to work and basically haven't stopped. It's a really busy time at AIM, so I am thankful that Cornerstone stuff is slow right now. I am praying that things at AIM will slow down in the next 2 weeks as I get ready for Cornerstone to kick into high gear. I don't remember fall being this busy before! Thankfully, fall also brings FOOTBALL SEASON!!! So, I have an outlet for my stress. :) (As long as Tech plays better than they did last weekend).

Another exciting event from this week was Ashley getting a job! She is working at a Christian Foster Care center, which will be stretching for her, but she is really excited. She has been job hunting for several months now, so this also came as a huge relief!! Yay!!

Unfortunately, my house hasn't sold yet, so we are still just praying and waiting. I have to admit, a lot of doubt has been creeping in, but I am really trying to seek the Lord in the midst of it. The girls and I are just ready to move and get settled in!

We also discovered this week that Gizmo has worms. He caught, and killed, two mice while I was away (yay Giz!), but apparently they gave him worms. I am taking him to the vet in the morning. We had to get a stool sample to bring in, so the girls and I have been keeping a close eye on him for a few days trying to catch him "in the act". (Its gross, I know. That seems to be a running theme in my life right now, haha). Finally tonight Linda saw him going and we were able to get what we need before he covered it all up. Yay for cat poop! I am looking forward to seeing the look on people's faces when I pull my 18 pound cat out at the vet. :)

In addition to the bad news about Giz, I got some REALLY bad news yesterday. I had taken my car in to get it inspected and got a phone call late in the afternoon from the mechanic. He informed me that the entire front end of the car (the part that holds the engine up) was completely rusted out and would cost over $1000 to replace (more than the car is worth). In addition to that, I needed new brakes and a few other things that would bring the total cost to over$1500. He told me that my best bet was to just have the car scrapped.

So, I no longer have a car. I MIGHT have some money to get a car if my house sells soon, and if it sells for a good price, but that is a HUGE if. I can't complain at all, the van was an EXTREMELY generous gift and has served me well for over a year. (I am kinda bummed about the $500 I put into replacing the battery and alternator about a month ago...). And, now that the girls are older, and there are only 2 of them, I can start looking into smaller cars since I don't really need as much space as before. Right now, however, my bank account is hovering near zero, so the actual buying of a car won't happen any time soon.

I'm sure the girls and I can manage most things without a car. Now that they live with me, I don't have to drive to pick them up, and its still warm enough to walk places. Ashley is getting a car in a few weeks, so we can do grocery shopping and stuff with her car. Honestly, the only reason I really drive anywhere is because we are usually coming home late at night and I don't like walking at night. (Well, actually I do, but I know it isn't safe). But, I think we can get rides home from other people if its too late, and its no problem at all to walk to the church. So, we'll adjust and do what we can! I'm very impressed with how the girls are handling it...not complaining at all and just saying, "Well, something else to ask Jesus about". I love them so much!!

Alright, I think you are now sufficiently updated on things. I am working on my newsletter tonight and tomorrow, so hopefully that will be in the mail by Monday. Its been 5 months since my last one. Whoops!! (I will definitely argue that I have been busy though, not lazy!). I also need to do some grocery shopping, but we'll have to wait and see how expensive Giz is tomorrow to find out if I can buy more than just tuna fish, haha. I am very excited to be in town, and staying for a few weeks. Hopefully I can get back on a schedule soon! I love schedule!!

Oh, and there is someone coming to see the house tomorrow. We haven't gotten any feedback so far from the few people who have come to look at it, so I don't really know what else to do but pray!

Indiana!!

Well, we are back in Philly and I am packing to leave again! Tomorrow morning I am flying to Indiana for a long weekend to visit my friend April and her family. April and I have been friends for 17 years!! I haven't seen her at all in several years, and the few times I have seen her in the last 10 years have been for very short periods of time. I had promised to come and visit her soon after she had her first child. Well, that child just entered 1st grade and she has since had 2 more!! I'm SO excited I can finally make the trip and I am really looking forward to catching up!

April actually had a lot to do with me coming to know the Lord and has been a constant encouragement and wonderful friend. I have gotten to know April's husband over the last few years as well and he and I get along really well, so I'm excited to hang out with both of them for a few days. They also have 3 BEAUTIFUL girls that I am REALLY excited to hang out with. My only fear is that they won't like me, haha.

I am also looking at this as an actual vacation, so I am not taking my computer! Whenever I have my computer I am way too tempted to answer email and work when I shouldn't be. So, when I'm not hanging out with the family, I will be reading or hanging out with Jesus. I'm SO excited! I basically get to spend the weekend with several of my favorite people in the world!!!

Linda and Bonita will be spending the weekend with their mom (they don't have school on Monday), which is very good for them. They haven't really seen her in a few weeks since we have been traveling.

So, you won't hear from me for a few days but you can be sure I will be having an amazing time! Hopefully I won't spend too much time thinking about the forever long to-do list waiting for me when I return (like my newsletter that needs to go out by next weekend!!).

Oh well, off to Indiana!!

First Day of School!

This year, the first day of school did not include waking up early, getting dressed in new uniforms and taking brand new backpacks off to school before the sun even comes up. No, this is what the first day of school looked like (notice the "uniforms", haha):



Overall it was a great day! We are all on a learning curve as we figure out how to work virtual classes, pace the self-paced classes, and just generally figure out how each girl learns best. So far we have discovered that Linda and Bonita do not like reading. :) I'm keep reminding the girls that we are still figuring this whole thing out, just give it time!

They seemed to like their first day and while they are nervous about the amount of work they have (I am actually going to make them do their homework AND schoolwork! gasp!), they so enjoy having a lot of free time during the day and only being in "class" for an hour at a time. They are actually excited about tomorrow!

I am VERY pleased with how the day went. All of the girls worked hard and did all of their work with no complaining. I think Linda is going to need more help and attention than Bonita, but I kind of expected that. Both girls have just kind of coasted through school barely passing, so they have some catching up to do. I know they can do it though!!

We also discovered today that Linda and Cupcake are taking the same Health class!! So, they worked together for a while today, which was fun for both of them! Unfortunately, Linda misunderstood an assignment and turned it in and got a low grade. It was only a 10 point assignment (out of 900 points for the whole semester, so its not really a big deal at all), but its amazing how defeated she already feels!! (At least I know she didn't cheat off of Cupcake's quiz, haha). I'm praying that she will shake that off quickly.

The self-paced courses will take some getting used to, mainly because the girls are used to being told what to do instead of figuring it our themselves. You can definitely pray for me as I learn the balance of helping them but also letting them learn on their own. I don't have any idea what I am doing!

(This pic of Bonita working on her self-paced science class makes me laugh. She is reading the end of the book, making the pic look staged, haha. Its not! Her class is apparently starting at the end and working backwards...).

We are still having a lot of fun in NC and none of us want to go back to Philly (Bonita says it at least 10 times a day!). The girls are enjoying the backyard; wrestling and laughing a lot.


My parents' neighbor has a trampoline and she invited the girls over whenever they wanted to. They used it as a stress reliever all day and would go jump for a while to get energy out between classes. It seemed to work well!

Its been pretty hot most days, so we have stayed inside a lot, although we did go out for a nice dinner by the water last night.

(I know this isn't a great pic with the sun right in the background. However, a storm was coming and the sky was literally BLACK had they stood opposite of the sun. So, I went with the annoying glare...the water and the boats are cool though!)

As wonderful as each day has been, the highlight of the trip came on Saturday night when we all went to see my dad perform in Washington, NC's "Dancing with Our Stars". It was SO fun, and my dad was AWESOME! Seriously!!

The Washington, NC version is a little different from the TV version. You can do any style of dance and it doesn't have to be just partners. So, my dad performed with several of his officers to a medley of songs from cop shows. It was GREAT! The girls and I were shocked by how good he was, and how much fun he had!

The whole evening was a fund-raiser for a local charity called Eagles Wings that provides food for the people of Washington. I have no idea how much money they raised, but this is what the line looked like an hour before the show started:
I'm pretty sure the whole town was there!

The winner was not based on dancing but on how much money each performer raised. Since my dad and his officers were not allowed to raise money while on duty (which makes sense...a little intimidating, haha), they didn't raise as much as many of the local businessmen and women. The girls and I agree, however, that my dad was the best dancer. (I am being totally serious too. The girls are still in shock over how good he really was!).

Tomorrow is our last full day in NC, although we don't fly out until Wednesday night; so we still have 2 school days here. We are trying not to focus on having to go back to Philly and instead enjoy the next few days of space, peace and fun!

Still Loving It Here!

Today was a very laid back, very fun day. This is where we spent most of it:

So relaxing and fun!!

I did stay up pretty late last night getting my AIM work finished, so I slept in a little this morning (although I'm still pretty tired and will be going to sleep as soon as I finish this post!).

We had a lazy morning; eating breakfast and hanging around the house until around noon. We actually contemplated not going anywhere today, but we weren't sure how hurricane Dan was going to affect the beaches and he is supposed to hit tomorrow. It isn't very strong, so it will most likely just bring rain, but we didn't want to miss a day at the beach because we are lazy. :)

So, we packed up the car and headed to Goose Creek State Park. Its technically not the beach, but has a free swimming area right on the Pamlico Sound (a river; we were near where it meets the Atlantic Ocean), which was perfect because we didn't really want to drive far and its only 15 minutes from my parents house.

It turned out to be EXACTLY what we wanted!! There was not a single other person there, so we had a blast being ridiculous together. The water was incredibly warm, so we spent hours playing and not getting cold. Plus, the winds from hurricane Dan started coming through, which brought fun waves for us to play in. They had an area roped off where you can swim, and it was a pretty big area. The best part, though, was that even when we went out as far as they would let us, we could all still stand up! And we were far from shore!!

I stood on the shore and took a picture of the girls. They are standing up, as far out as we were allowed to go. Can you see them?


Can you see them now??

This is as close as I can zoom the picture in:

It was SO far away!!

The state park is on a camp ground, which none of us were too excited about, especially with all the bugs. They weren't a problem when we were in the water, but out of the water...we started to have flashbacks of all the bugs in NY and the bees at staff retreat so we ran to and from the car, haha. I asked the girls if they wanted to try and borrow a tent and go camping there (I was joking), and I thought they were going to kill me. After a week at camp in NY and then heading straight into 3 more days at a camp for staff retreat, we are all VERY much enjoying comfy beds, air conditioning and no bugs!

We got home from the beach around dinner and took turns taking showers. It went a lot faster with 2 showers, which got me even more excited about possibly moving to a house with two bathrooms!!

After showering we all ate dinner and then the girls spent hours running around the house and the backyard laughing, wrestling, and doing I'm not sure what else. They seem to really be enjoying all the space! I just hung out with my parents, which was fun for me!

Not a very exciting day, but a really good one for all of us. Right now the girls are spread into different rooms doing all different things. Linda is on the phone in one room, Bonita is in another room downloading worship songs (and singing along to them), and Cupcake is in a third room writing and (in her words) "enjoying the quiet. I like quiet and I never get quiet".

Peace is the word I would use to describe our lives right now. And we are all loving it.

We love NC!

I know I owe you an update on the Cornerstone Block Party AND our staff retreat, and I will get to that really soon. But, right now I'm too tired to think back that far, haha. For now, I will go with what's going on now. I have to prepare you though, this begins with a really gross story.

The girls and I came home from staff retreat yesterday around 5 and immediately had to wash clothes, repack and get the house ready for us to leave at 9:30 this morning. I also had A TON of AIM work to catch up on, so we were in high gear as soon as we got home. The girls also wanted to see their mom before we left, so after they went to her house for a little while I started to cleaning up our stuff from staff retreat, with Ashley's help. As I went to put the cereal away, I discovered that a mouse had chewed through one of the bags of cereal (most of my cereal is kept in plastic containers, but we had one bag that didn't fit, so we just put it in the cabinet. Bad idea..). There was raisin bran everywhere, which was frustrating but not a big deal. Well, until I started to clean up the raisin bran and a tiny mouse fell out!!! It looked like a little mouse fetus! It was TINY (smaller than my pinkie) and squeaking and GROSSING me out!! I screamed, Ashley screamed and we immediately started asking Jesus to send our husbands quickly! (We also had a very unfortunate run in with some disgusting, and extremely heavy trash earlier in the week).

After running through the house screaming I realized that the mess still needed to be cleaned up, so I took care of the baby mouse and started cleaning the rest of the cereal, only to discover another squeaking baby mouse. SICK!!!! I was almost at a breaking point, but pushed through the clean up the rest. Unfortunately, it got worse. I looked at the electric socket at the back of the cabinet (where the microwave is plugged in) and discovered a smelly, rotting mouse carcass. A mouse had been electrocuted and was rotting away in my cabinet.

AHHHHH!!! I was completely grossed out at this point and just closed the cabinet. I then called/facebook messaged/twitterred several of my guy friends until I found one willing to come and remove the mouse for me. I cleaned up all the rest of the mess, made sure the baby mice were no longer alive, and then my friend came and scraped the mouse out of the socket (it was SO SO gross!). He also discovered another mouse baby and a bunch of maggots. I didn't mind cleaning up the maggots, that was nothing compared to the rest of the disgustingness.

Finally, around 10:00 p.m. it was all cleaned up and Gizmo was on guard in the kitchen to make sure no other mice showed up. If I wasn't ready to get to my parents' house before....

I was up pretty late cleaning, packing, and catching up on AIM stuff, but I managed to get it all finished. (Well, at least get to a good point with AIM...its a REALLY busy time for me right now!!). I think I finally went to bed around 3 or 4, and was up at 8:30 to be ready to leave by 9:30. I was SO excited!!

It is SO wonderful, sometimes, to have teenage girls around. They did their own laundry, packed all their own clothes and even made sure they had all the stuff they needed for school (they start on Monday!). We left on time, picked Cupcake up on time and got to the airport by 10:15 (our flight left at 11:50). Going through security was hilarious with all 4 of us having laptops to take out of our bags, belts, sneakers, cell phones, and on and on. Thankfully it wasn't too busy, otherwise we might have had some mad travelers behind us! We made it through pretty quickly (and very organized actually!) and were sitting at the gate by 10:30. We were all SO excited!!!

The flight is only about an hour long, and it wasn't a full flight, so it was great. My dad was at the airport to pick us up and drove us the 2 hours home. We actually slept most of the car ride, haha, which was nice. Then, we were HOME!! :)

I was so excited to see my parents and the girls immediately fell in love with their house. We all love it SO MUCH here!! The girls are all sleeping in one room together, but have another room to store their stuff. We have 2.5 bathrooms, and we have all already commented on how nice it is to have another bathroom (please sell my house soon, Jesus!).

We arrived at my parents around 4, and about an hour later all the girls were bored, haha. In fact, they were so bored they ALL decided to take the scantron tests that PA Cyber requires them to take. They knew they had to do it and decided to get it out of the way so we can just enjoy the long weekend before school starts. I was proud of that decisions, that is a really good sign!!!! :)

Each girl found her own space to work, and they all worked SO well! The tests took almost 3 hours total (including a stop for dinner) and there was no complaining at all. That is a really good sign!!!





After the tests were finished we went to the grocery store to get food for the week. By the time we got home (around 10), we were all actually pretty tired. So, the girls got ready for bed and are in their room laughing and talking.

Linda and Cupcake's pajamas are just too cute!!

I will be up pretty late tonight because I want to get ALL of my AIM work for the week finished. We are going to the beach for the day tomorrow (hopefully before Hurricane Dan shows up) and I don't want to have anything on my mind while we are there. Hopefully I can do it!!

We only left Philly 12 hours ago, but we have already decided we want to stay here. Tomorrow we will drive about 30 minutes, hop on a ferry and then spend the day at the beach!!!! I can't wait!