There is a conspiracy developing against me on my block. I don't want to give away too many details but it appears that there is a block wide conspiracy with the goal of driving me absolutely insane. Before you laugh off my theory, here is the evidence.
It started with the guys who like to blare their car stereos while they work on their cars. Doesn't sound too bad until you realize that their cars are parked directly in front of my house and their favorite time to work is early Saturday morning. Next came the ridiculously loud music my neighbors play in their house. I can't really hear the music, but the sub woofers make sure I can hear, and feel, the beat of the music. There is no rhyme or reason to the time the music starts or the duration it lasts. I actually prefer it at night because that's when I can wear earplugs and take NyQuil to help me sleep. However, they seem to prefer the daylight hours when I am sitting at my desk trying to work. Today I listened to the same beat for 3 hours straight. I'm pretty sure that is the same tactic the FBI uses to torture terrorists.
Then there are the hundreds of dogs that suddenly live on the block. Okay, hundreds is probably an exaggeration, but I would say that there are at least 25 pit bulls living on my block...of about 20 houses. (Tell me there is no dog fighting in the city...). Anyway, these dogs LOVE to bark at one another and whine when left alone. I am not exaggerating when I say that I see a new dog chained to a railing every day when I walk out of my house...and none of the dogs are quiet.
The music started my suspicions of a conspiracy and the dogs heightened my awareness. I wasn't 100% convinced until today...the day the rooster moved in. That's right, in the middle of Kensington in the city of Philadelphia I have a real live, early rising rooster living on my block. There is no denying it, something sinister is going on. My neighbors have banded together to slowly but surely drive me out of my mind.
Why they want me to leave, I don't know. I like most of my neighbors and they are always very nice to me. They even do a great job taking care of me; helping me carry my groceries, keeping an eye on my house when I'm away, etc. We have great conversations about life and I enjoy playing with their kids. They always smile and say hello and notice when I have been away for a while. It seems like such a great place to live. Apparently that is all just a cover for their secret plan. I'm calling it Operation Insane Asylum.
I'm trying to gear myself up for the next attack, but they are very sneaky and I have no idea what they might try next. I have considered the possibility of a counter strike in the near future.; 4 a.m. hanging of pictures? Maybe if I just let them know that I am on to them, they will back off. I don't think they scare easily though...
Hmmm...I think their tactics might be working...I may in fact be slowly going insane. :)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Life Goes On
Things are getting very busy for me. AIM work is picking up and Cornerstone clubs are back in full swing. We had 60 kids at Kids Club last night, almost 20 of whom were brand new visitors!!! I really enjoyed Kids Club, although when I am up front I still feel like Bambi trying to walk with his legs very unsteady.
I am discovering that I really don't like doing things half way. Once I jump into something, I'm all in it. I always kinda knew this about myself, but Kids Club has made it glaringly obvious. I originally planned on just trying to come up with lessons and teaching them without passing out or throwing up. Now, I'm all in. I'm not sure what all of this means...especially since I don't know what Carisa's plans are for the future. In addition, I am EXTREMELY busy and its only going to get worse and I don't think I can last at this level for too long...and there is no sign of me being able to quit my part time job anytime soon.
I also have discovered that I HATE not having after-school. I miss the kids so badly, and as lame as it sounds, I feel like something is missing from my life without after-school. It has been my heart and passion for so long, and it didn't end because I lost my passion for it. I am really working toward starting after-school back up next fall, Lord willing. That would definitely not leave me any time for Kids Club...especially if I am still working then. As you can see, there are SO many things up in the air, and my mind races to those things WAY too often. I am trying to take things one day at a time...but as usual that is easier said than done. :)
I don't get to see Bonita and Linda nearly as much as I am used to (which I really don't like!!), but when I do see them they are so much fun! Yesterday at Kids Club Linda triumphantly announced to everyone that she is so excited to be learning to play the trombone. Unfortunately, she doesn't play the trombone, she plays the trumpet. :) They really make me laugh a lot.
My roommate from the summer, Brooke, is here visiting for the week and it has been so great having her around. Shoot, I spend 90% of my day alone in my house, so really its great to have anyone around. :) Today she and I, along with 2 of the teens, went to see another teen play volleyball. Her team won and we all had a blast at the game. One of the teens, T, is a huge answer to prayer. She is AMAZING (that word isn't even good enough to describe her) and I love spending time with her. She is quiet...or at least she used to be. She is opening up a lot. Her mom used to not like our church much, but seems to have changed her mind recently. She even allowed me to take T out of school early so she could go to the volleyball game with me. T and I also spent a lot of time together on the God Squad retreat and she helps me at Kids Club on Tuesday nights. I am so excited about the relationship we are developing!!!
In other good news, my dad gets to keep all of his finger!! He went to the doctor and the reattachment worked and his finger is healing well. Yay!! I also just found out that my friend Catherine might come and visit me with her new baby!!! I have been so excited to meet her son I can hardly stand it and it looks like they might come in December. Catherine and I have been friends since 1st grade and I always love seeing her; I am SO excited!!! Catherine is also Linda's Prayer Pal, so Linda is pretty excited too.
In the midst of my busy schedule I have not made much time for sleep, and even less time for exercise...both of which are things that I LOVE to do (I still manage to get some TV in though, haha. I HIGHLY recommend the new show Pushing Daisies!!). I am going to try and work on that...which means I should probably go now. Good Night!
I am discovering that I really don't like doing things half way. Once I jump into something, I'm all in it. I always kinda knew this about myself, but Kids Club has made it glaringly obvious. I originally planned on just trying to come up with lessons and teaching them without passing out or throwing up. Now, I'm all in. I'm not sure what all of this means...especially since I don't know what Carisa's plans are for the future. In addition, I am EXTREMELY busy and its only going to get worse and I don't think I can last at this level for too long...and there is no sign of me being able to quit my part time job anytime soon.
I also have discovered that I HATE not having after-school. I miss the kids so badly, and as lame as it sounds, I feel like something is missing from my life without after-school. It has been my heart and passion for so long, and it didn't end because I lost my passion for it. I am really working toward starting after-school back up next fall, Lord willing. That would definitely not leave me any time for Kids Club...especially if I am still working then. As you can see, there are SO many things up in the air, and my mind races to those things WAY too often. I am trying to take things one day at a time...but as usual that is easier said than done. :)
I don't get to see Bonita and Linda nearly as much as I am used to (which I really don't like!!), but when I do see them they are so much fun! Yesterday at Kids Club Linda triumphantly announced to everyone that she is so excited to be learning to play the trombone. Unfortunately, she doesn't play the trombone, she plays the trumpet. :) They really make me laugh a lot.
My roommate from the summer, Brooke, is here visiting for the week and it has been so great having her around. Shoot, I spend 90% of my day alone in my house, so really its great to have anyone around. :) Today she and I, along with 2 of the teens, went to see another teen play volleyball. Her team won and we all had a blast at the game. One of the teens, T, is a huge answer to prayer. She is AMAZING (that word isn't even good enough to describe her) and I love spending time with her. She is quiet...or at least she used to be. She is opening up a lot. Her mom used to not like our church much, but seems to have changed her mind recently. She even allowed me to take T out of school early so she could go to the volleyball game with me. T and I also spent a lot of time together on the God Squad retreat and she helps me at Kids Club on Tuesday nights. I am so excited about the relationship we are developing!!!
In other good news, my dad gets to keep all of his finger!! He went to the doctor and the reattachment worked and his finger is healing well. Yay!! I also just found out that my friend Catherine might come and visit me with her new baby!!! I have been so excited to meet her son I can hardly stand it and it looks like they might come in December. Catherine and I have been friends since 1st grade and I always love seeing her; I am SO excited!!! Catherine is also Linda's Prayer Pal, so Linda is pretty excited too.
In the midst of my busy schedule I have not made much time for sleep, and even less time for exercise...both of which are things that I LOVE to do (I still manage to get some TV in though, haha. I HIGHLY recommend the new show Pushing Daisies!!). I am going to try and work on that...which means I should probably go now. Good Night!
Monday, October 8, 2007
In Shock
I just returned from our God Squad retreat and we had a great time. I wish I could write all about that, but my heart is heavy and I am in shock. We found out today that one of our teens, Dale, was killed yesterday. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but apparently his mom and brother got into a fight and he stepped in. His brother ended up stabbing him and his mother, killing Dale and seriously injuring his mom.We got the news while we were at the retreat and immediately shared it with the teens. Everyone was...is...in shock. Dale has been around for years. He participated in our first teen mission trip to North Carolina in 2005 and then went with us to Mississippi on our Katrina relief trip a few months later. I still have wonderful pictures and videos of the night we were stuck in the Dallas airport on our way to Mississippi. We couldn't sleep so a group of us, including Dale, stayed up all night having fun as we ran free in the almost deserted airport.
Several of our teens and leaders were very close to Dale and his death is very hard to take. This is a first for me. I know many of our kids and teens who have relatives that have been killed, I have never known a murder victim personally. It hit home and hit hard. As I heard the news I looked around at all the other teens that I love and I just cried. I can't be sad for Dale, he is exactly where I desperately wish I was. I am sad for us, though, the people who miss him and missed out on what God could do through Him. And I admit I'm a little scared. I love the kids and teens here more than I ever thought I could...and this could very easily happen again.Jesus, we miss Dale but we get it, you couldn't stand to be apart from him any longer. Thank you for sharing him with us, especially for the laughter he brought. Hold him in your arms and enjoy your son.
Here is an article written about what happened:
In Philly: Brother is held in fatal stabbing of NE man
By CHRISTINE OLLEY
A family squabble over money turned deadly yesterday in Northeast Philadelphia when a man stabbed his 19-year-old brother to death and wounded their mother.
Police said Dale Wilson was stabbed in the chest, back and an arm at about 12:15 p.m. yesterday inside his home on Greeby Street near Summerdale Avenue. He died at Albert Einstein Medical Center shortly before 1 p.m.
Wilson's mother, identified by neighbors as Barbara, was stabbed in the right thigh during the argument, police said. She also was taken to Einstein, where she remained in stable condition last night.
"When she wakes up from this nightmare, she's going to be devastated," said one neighbor, who declined to give her name.
Homicide Sgt. Bob Wilkins, said Wilson's brother was in police custody last night but that no charges had been filed.
The slaying was one of two this weekend that followed arguments. The other involved 21-year-old Davey Guzman, who died at Temple University Hospital at 10:30 p.m. Friday shortly after being shot in the head at F Street and Allegheny Avenue in North Philadelphia. (This happened 2 blocks from my house)
Yesterday, on Greeby Street, Wilson's house was dark and no one answered the door.
Neighbors said Wilson was a college freshman, but they didn't know where he attended school. They said Wilson's brother sporadically came to his mother's Northeast Philadelphia home with his 1-year-old son.
"It's awful. I mean people sometimes have arguments and such but to take it that far over some money, that's a bit much," said a man who declined to give his name.
The slaying marked the third tragedy the block has seen in less than a year
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Block Party and the Loss of part of a Finger...
Today was the biggest outreach of the year for us, and as far as I can tell it was a huge success!! My day started with a trip to the gym where I walked for about 4 miles on the treadmill. I had a lot on my mind and just walked as I processed it. I would have run, but I haven't gotten to the point where I can run without a lot of effort, and if I was having to worry about the effort I was putting out, I wouldn't have been able to think. Make sense? Haha, so I didn't run, I walked...and walked and walked. At least I wasn't sitting on the couch!
After my walk I headed home to get ready for the block party. Originally I was going to pick up Bonita and Linda but they decided they didn't want to go, so I took Pedro and Miguel instead. I worked the whole time at the block party, so I didn't see them much, but they had a good time. We got to the block party early to help set up and then I spent my entire day at the giant inflatable obstacle course. I really loved watching the kids laugh as they tried to maneuver through the obstacle course and didn't even notice the time until almost 6. We had 2 inflatables, pizza, hot dogs, sno cones, popcorn, carnival games, music, a basketball tournament...so much stuff! We even had a raffle for an ipod giveaway!! I didn't get to see much besides the inflatable, but everyone I saw seemed to be smiling, so that's a good sign.
At 6:00 we had a concert where Da Truth, a christian hip hop artist, performed. He was amazing and everyone really enjoyed him, especially the teens!! Pedro, Miguel and I stayed around for a while to help clean up but had to head out around 7:30. Walking 4 miles in the morning and then standing for 5 hours straight just about did me in, so I headed home. Well, first I went to the grocery store because I literally have next to nothing to eat in my house.
The entire time at the block party the gospel was being proclaimed over the speakers as well as in one on one conversations. I'm not really sure how to judge the success of a block party, but I know the truth and love of Christ was spoken and shared, so that has to make it a success!!
So, now I am at my house sitting down and trying to prepare for Kids Club on Tuesday. I am leaving tomorrow morning for the God Squad retreat and won't be back until Monday night...and I have to work on Tuesday so I don't know when I will have time to get my lesson done. As usual, I have no idea what I am going to say or how I am going to say it...but I am at least starting with prayer this time. We'll see how it goes.
Oh, and as for the "Loss of part of a Finger"; when I got home tonight I called my parents to check on the Tech game and my mom informed me that my dad had an accident earlier in which he lost part of his pinkie finger. They managed to reattach it, but there is only 50/50 chance that the reattachment will take. My mom didn't seem overly concerned and I didn't get to talk to my dad, so I guess everything is okay. Things have been difficult for my parents over the last few months...my dad in NC with my mom in VA, not being able to sell the house, and now this. Please pray for them. Its times like this that I feel really guilty living in Philadelphia...
Alright, I'm off to do my laundry and then hopefully get to sleep early. Carisa has been sick for the last few days and I may have to teach Sunday School in the morning. No idea what I will talk about there either, but that's apparently how I work. :)
After my walk I headed home to get ready for the block party. Originally I was going to pick up Bonita and Linda but they decided they didn't want to go, so I took Pedro and Miguel instead. I worked the whole time at the block party, so I didn't see them much, but they had a good time. We got to the block party early to help set up and then I spent my entire day at the giant inflatable obstacle course. I really loved watching the kids laugh as they tried to maneuver through the obstacle course and didn't even notice the time until almost 6. We had 2 inflatables, pizza, hot dogs, sno cones, popcorn, carnival games, music, a basketball tournament...so much stuff! We even had a raffle for an ipod giveaway!! I didn't get to see much besides the inflatable, but everyone I saw seemed to be smiling, so that's a good sign.
At 6:00 we had a concert where Da Truth, a christian hip hop artist, performed. He was amazing and everyone really enjoyed him, especially the teens!! Pedro, Miguel and I stayed around for a while to help clean up but had to head out around 7:30. Walking 4 miles in the morning and then standing for 5 hours straight just about did me in, so I headed home. Well, first I went to the grocery store because I literally have next to nothing to eat in my house.
The entire time at the block party the gospel was being proclaimed over the speakers as well as in one on one conversations. I'm not really sure how to judge the success of a block party, but I know the truth and love of Christ was spoken and shared, so that has to make it a success!!
So, now I am at my house sitting down and trying to prepare for Kids Club on Tuesday. I am leaving tomorrow morning for the God Squad retreat and won't be back until Monday night...and I have to work on Tuesday so I don't know when I will have time to get my lesson done. As usual, I have no idea what I am going to say or how I am going to say it...but I am at least starting with prayer this time. We'll see how it goes.
Oh, and as for the "Loss of part of a Finger"; when I got home tonight I called my parents to check on the Tech game and my mom informed me that my dad had an accident earlier in which he lost part of his pinkie finger. They managed to reattach it, but there is only 50/50 chance that the reattachment will take. My mom didn't seem overly concerned and I didn't get to talk to my dad, so I guess everything is okay. Things have been difficult for my parents over the last few months...my dad in NC with my mom in VA, not being able to sell the house, and now this. Please pray for them. Its times like this that I feel really guilty living in Philadelphia...
Alright, I'm off to do my laundry and then hopefully get to sleep early. Carisa has been sick for the last few days and I may have to teach Sunday School in the morning. No idea what I will talk about there either, but that's apparently how I work. :)
Friday, October 5, 2007
A laugh
First thing this morning, Gizmo fell in the toilet while trying to jump onto the sink. Its going to be a good day...
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
The Romance
I feel like I am living in a never ending romantic drama, and I'm tired of it. Let me explain:
We've all seen romantic dramas (I love them). Titanic and The Notebook are examples. Two people meet and at some point (usually pretty quickly) we realize that they are meant to be together. However, soon after we realize their destiny, obstacles get in the way. Things start out great, but then they get complicated. The lovers go through ups and downs and as the viewer we get frustrated, and a little nervous. Are they going to end up together? We watch as pride gets in the way of one admitting they are wrong or the other letting go of the hurt. We watch the lovers make ridiculous decisions and wonder (out loud if you are me, haha); "what are you thinking?!?" (Of course, many of us have made the same mistakes they have).
(Romantic Comedies are very similar except that the obstacles are funny and seem less intense to us. While at times I feel like I am the butt of cosmic jokes and enjoy laughing at the things going on in my life, there is way too much drama in my life for this to be a romantic comedy)
I enjoy watching the drama for a while, but eventually I long for the ending. The roller coaster gets old and I want to get to the end...hopefully, a happily ever after.
That is exactly where I am...longing to get to my ending...my happily ever after. Not with a man...with my bridegroom. I know I am guaranteed a happily ever after- an ending to the roller coaster and an entrance to a life of never ending and completely fulfilling love. No more obstacles coming between me and my great love- no more silly decisions, hurtful words or devastating actions (all of which, by the way, come from me). While I don't wonder what the end of my story will be, I am desperately longing to get there. Its not the suspense or the not knowing that's killing me, its the drama...the drama is getting old.
I want to be with Him so desperately I can barely stand it. My heart doesn't always match up with my actions-which is why the drama continues. I am ready for my lover to say "enough" and to come and get me. That's how most romantic dramas end...and how the book of revelation tells me my story will end as well. At some point my lover will get tired of the drama. He won't be able to stand being apart from me any longer and will come and get me.
Don't hear anything suicidal or depressing in this, I don't want to die...I just want to be with my lover. "How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" (Psalm 13:1-2).
I like my life, I like the people in my life...but I love Him. I love Him desperately and with all that I am. I HATE being apart from Him. I have intimate moments with Him, but they simply leave me longing for more...because I know there is so much more. And then there are the days that I don't feel close to Him...the days when the drama continues and I feel empty and alone; and longing for Him.
I have come to the point in my life where nothing comes close to Him. He is so good...and nothing can compare. Don't get me wrong, I still settle for less than Him far too often. At times, I still seek comfort in things that are not Him, I sometimes desire simplicity and comfort over Him. That's more of the drama that I am so tired of, yet still participate in.
I wish my life was TiVoed. In fact, my TiVo remote has a button that I can push that will take me directly to the end. I would absolutely push that right now. I am not saying that I don't enjoy life...I just know I will enjoy my next life so much more.
Since I can't push the button, I sit and wait for the ending. I will try enjoy the experiences that make up my love story...the ups and the downs that come together to make my life. Truth be told, the drama only makes me fall more and more in love with Him, which I'm sure is why He allows the story to continue. He will get tired of it some day, though. He will get to the point where He can't stand being away from me anymore, and He will come get me. "Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready." (Revelation 19:7). I long for that day...with all of my heart, I long for that day.
We've all seen romantic dramas (I love them). Titanic and The Notebook are examples. Two people meet and at some point (usually pretty quickly) we realize that they are meant to be together. However, soon after we realize their destiny, obstacles get in the way. Things start out great, but then they get complicated. The lovers go through ups and downs and as the viewer we get frustrated, and a little nervous. Are they going to end up together? We watch as pride gets in the way of one admitting they are wrong or the other letting go of the hurt. We watch the lovers make ridiculous decisions and wonder (out loud if you are me, haha); "what are you thinking?!?" (Of course, many of us have made the same mistakes they have).
(Romantic Comedies are very similar except that the obstacles are funny and seem less intense to us. While at times I feel like I am the butt of cosmic jokes and enjoy laughing at the things going on in my life, there is way too much drama in my life for this to be a romantic comedy)
I enjoy watching the drama for a while, but eventually I long for the ending. The roller coaster gets old and I want to get to the end...hopefully, a happily ever after.
That is exactly where I am...longing to get to my ending...my happily ever after. Not with a man...with my bridegroom. I know I am guaranteed a happily ever after- an ending to the roller coaster and an entrance to a life of never ending and completely fulfilling love. No more obstacles coming between me and my great love- no more silly decisions, hurtful words or devastating actions (all of which, by the way, come from me). While I don't wonder what the end of my story will be, I am desperately longing to get there. Its not the suspense or the not knowing that's killing me, its the drama...the drama is getting old.
I want to be with Him so desperately I can barely stand it. My heart doesn't always match up with my actions-which is why the drama continues. I am ready for my lover to say "enough" and to come and get me. That's how most romantic dramas end...and how the book of revelation tells me my story will end as well. At some point my lover will get tired of the drama. He won't be able to stand being apart from me any longer and will come and get me.
Don't hear anything suicidal or depressing in this, I don't want to die...I just want to be with my lover. "How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" (Psalm 13:1-2).
I like my life, I like the people in my life...but I love Him. I love Him desperately and with all that I am. I HATE being apart from Him. I have intimate moments with Him, but they simply leave me longing for more...because I know there is so much more. And then there are the days that I don't feel close to Him...the days when the drama continues and I feel empty and alone; and longing for Him.
I have come to the point in my life where nothing comes close to Him. He is so good...and nothing can compare. Don't get me wrong, I still settle for less than Him far too often. At times, I still seek comfort in things that are not Him, I sometimes desire simplicity and comfort over Him. That's more of the drama that I am so tired of, yet still participate in.
I wish my life was TiVoed. In fact, my TiVo remote has a button that I can push that will take me directly to the end. I would absolutely push that right now. I am not saying that I don't enjoy life...I just know I will enjoy my next life so much more.
Since I can't push the button, I sit and wait for the ending. I will try enjoy the experiences that make up my love story...the ups and the downs that come together to make my life. Truth be told, the drama only makes me fall more and more in love with Him, which I'm sure is why He allows the story to continue. He will get tired of it some day, though. He will get to the point where He can't stand being away from me anymore, and He will come get me. "Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready." (Revelation 19:7). I long for that day...with all of my heart, I long for that day.
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