PLEASE PRAY!!!!!

I am writing this at 11:30 on Wednesday night, but I probably won’t be able to post this until sometime tomorrow, whenever my Internet is fixed.

This is one of those blog entries that I don’t really want to write, and I’m not 100% sure I should, but somehow I feel like I have to. I always want to be honest about what is going on in Philly, the highs and the lows, and I always want to have people praying. Plus, this blog has become somewhat therapeutic for me to be able process everything I experience and knowing that people read it reminds me that I am not alone, no matter what the enemy tries to tell me. So, as much as many of you (mom and dad) would probably rather not hear this, I am going to tell it.

Less than an hour ago was a major shooting on my block and 4 people were shot. They are all at the hospital and I have no idea how they are doing. At least one of them looked pretty bad, though all were alive when they left for the hospital. It was not a random shooting, and judging by the massive amounts of police cars and helicopters still circling the area, the shooters have not been found.

I am scared.

My friend Shera came over tonight and we watched the American Idol finale. I have a friend, Jenna, staying with me for about a month, so we all enjoyed eating dinner together and watching TV. When the finale was over I left to drive Shera home while Jenna stayed and got ready for bed. I came back and wasn’t really tired, so I decided to see how much of the Lost season finale I could get through before falling asleep. I lay down on the couch by the window and started watching TV. About 15 minutes into the show I heard the gun shots.

Gun shots are not uncommon around here, but neither are fire works and sometimes it is difficult to tell which sound you are hearing. However, when the gun shots are right outside your window, they are unmistakable…especially when there are 7 of them…one right after the other in a very controlled fashion.

This was not a random shooting.

I immediately paused the TV and sat quietly, praying that God would protect us. His angels surround my house, but I wanted assurance that they were there. The block was quiet for a few minutes, long enough to make me question what I heard. Then I heard people yelling to call 911 and looked out the window to see a man being carried down the street toward a car. He was bleeding and gasping for air.

This is real.

I went upstairs and got Jenna and we started to pray. I heard the helicopters and sirens outside, and the neighbors talking, and I have to admit that my curiosity got the best of me. I opened the door and asked what happened.
All 4 of the victims are young, early 20’s. No one that I talked to is 100% sure why they were shot, but at least one of them was the target…he runs around with some shady people. It is believed that some of the others were just with the wrong person at the wrong time.

Several people were outside when it happened, but no one is really willing to talk about what they saw…or at least who they saw. Jenna and I stayed outside for a little while talking with the neighbors, trying to bring truth. One girl had literally just gone inside when it happened; she is now wondering if there is a God that led her inside.

My next door neighbor suddenly had to use the bathroom and heard the shots as he flushed the toilet. He asked me if I thought it was nature calling him, or someone else.

God is at work.

On Sunday as I was moving my stuff back in the house, there was quite a commotion on the block as everyone saw me coming back. Several people were very excited to have me around again and one woman couldn’t wait to invite me to her daughter’s 1st birthday party. They wave to me every time I step out of my car and help me carry my groceries into the house. Their kids are already knocking on the door asking me to come and play with them, and I can’t believe how much they have grown up in the last 2 years.

As I sat on my steps tonight talking with the neighbors I marveled at having just moved back in. One neighbor laughed and said, “Welcome Back!” I am back. I am home.

I do live on a dangerous street. There are drug dealers and some very shady people. The enemy is at work. But, there are also kids, families and people very open to the Gospel. God is at work too, and we already know who has the victory. I am on the winning team, but many people on my block are not. I want them on my team.

Tonight reminded me that my life here in Philly is not just about Cornerstone Community Church. It’s not just about the programs I run or even the people that I already know. My life here is all about Christ. Christ is doing an amazing work, but He is not finished. There is so much more that He wants to do, and I truly believe that He has called me to be an integral part of it.

I am still scared. I am still very unsure. I still have no idea what He is doing, but I know He is doing something.

People are dying here, and they don’t know Jesus. There is a song out now by LeCrae that I absolutely love called “Send Me”. It’s all about missions and the urgency of the Gospel. One line that is running through my head right now is: “If the violence doesn't cease, then at least the deceased might know Jesus as their Savior as their bodies hit the streets”.

I know those words seem harsh and the image that they create is not pretty. But I have seen that image right in front of me. It is real. The people around me know that all too well.

Jesus is real too. The people around me don’t know that truth, though. They need to know.

I'm still here!

Hey Everyone! I am sorry that I haven't written in a while, I am still waiting for the Internet to be connected at my house. Hopefully it will be ready to go tomorrow...sometime between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. (its like Verizon thinks I have nothing better to do with my time!). Anyway, I only have a minute, but the move went GREAT and I am LOVING being back at my house!!!! I'm having a hard time motivating myself to unpack, but there really isn't any rush on that...it is my house! :) Anyway, just wanted to check in with everyone, I will write more as soon as I have time. Thanks!!

Ice Skating!

Today was the last After-School field trip for the year, and probably forever. It was a BLAST as it was the first time a lot of the kids had ever been ice skating. We actually had all 16 kids come on the field trip and everyone had so much fun. It was a bitter sweet time knowing that I probably won't be able to do after-school next year, but I had fun nonetheless. Actually, we still had to deal with some of the fighting/gossipping that has become a problem and it just reminded me how difficult After-School really can be.

I have been struggling with some guilt recently realizing just how burnt out I had become with After-School by the end of the year. There were many days when all the kids had was me, and they had to deal with my short fuse and just feeling overwhelmed. I wasn't able to help the kids the way I wanted to, to love them they way I wanted to...and overall I just wasn't able to be who I wanted to be for them. That's a really hard thing for me to accept, but I am going to have to. I'm not sure what I could have done differently, but there is definitely nothing I can do about it now.

I am very excited because at the After-School party I was able to present 8 kids with a really special prize. 8 of the kids earned over 600 points in our Points Challenge and as a reward we are taking a trip to Hershey Park (an amusement/water park)!!! I am so excited about this trip I can't stand it! I want to go right now!! :)

On a different note, I am finally finished packing and ready to move. I am moving after church and I can't wait. It will be the first time in 2 years that I will be living in MY house, and I really pray that I won't have to move again for a very long time. I get to spend the summer working on the house and really making it home. I am most definitely a homebody, so having a real home will be huge for me. Plus, there are more stairs at my house, and Gizmo could use the exercise, haha. :)

I am really looking forward to this week. We are still on our "Spring Break", meaning that all of our regular clubs (Kids Club, Teen Club, etc) are on a break, so my schedule is much less hectic. Despite the break, the past few weeks have been pretty busy for me, but this week isn't booked up yet! I will have plenty of unpacking to do, but unpacking doesn't stress me out nearly as much as packing. I don't feel like I have had a lot of time to just rest with the Lord, and I am really longing to do that. So much of my time with Him recently has felt kinda stressful with me asking a lot of questions and worrying rather than trusting. So, I am going to take some time this week to just be with Him. I'm not even going to ask Him about His plan for me or anything like that, I just want to be with Him.

Packing, UGH!

I HATE PACKING!!! Yes, I know that hate is a very strong word, but it is the only word that can describe how I truly feel about packing...I don't like it at all! For those of you who don't know, I have been living in a church building for the last 2 years while friends of mine have been renting my house from me. Now, it is time for me to move back home. I am SO ready for this move and beyond excited to be in my own home...but I hate the packing part. Its amazing how much junk 1 person can accumulate in just 2 years. I am discovering just how much like my dad I can be. I remember my entire life my dad always had change lying around everywhere. He had at least 15 different change cups and jars, and always had piles of change lying around on counters and tables. I'm still convinced that we could have paid for my college with all that change. Well, as I have been packing I have been finding change in little piles all over my house, as well as 5 separate change jars. I didn't even know I was doing it!!!!

I had actually planned on being pretty much packed already. I was hoping to spend last week packing while I was staying at Frank and Carisa's house so I wouldn't have to live in the mess. Unfortunately, sleepovers, recitals, and Kids Day; as well as getting my resume together and applying for jobs ended up taking most of my time. Not to mention, it was all emotionally and spiritually draining, so the packing was put aside.

I am hoping to move on Sunday, but I am no where near ready. My bedroom is completely packed and I am hoping to have the living room finished tomorrow. That will really only leave the kitchen and girls' room to pack up, and neither one has very much stuff. The good part about this is that no one is moving into the church building after me, its going to be empty for the summer. So, if I don't absolutely have to have everything out this weekend. My main goal is to get all the furniture and the main things moved, the rest can happen over time.

Life in general is really overwhelming right now, but I am making it through...and actually with a smile on my face, which could only be God. I am still struggling with money and seeking direction for the fall, but I still have a lot of responsibilities to keep up with. Add to that moving and trying to get things fixed on my house (with literally NO MONEY).

Things are also getting kinda crazy with the kids. On Sunday Bonita was hit by a car. She is fine, but is pretty banged up. She was riding on the back of a mini-motorcycle (which are illegal) and the motorcycle was hit by a car. She went flying and landed on concrete; it is literally a miracle that she wasn't paralyzed or killed. The police are investigating her family now, and the threat of DHS is being tossed around. (Linda and Dario are close to going to truancy court as well, which will automatically get DHS involved). If DHS gets involved again, this could be when their mom loses her kids. Their mom has also recently discovered that she will soon lose a lot of the government money she gets for her kids as they are all turning 18. One sister is already 18, another turns 18 in July, and Dario will be 18 a year later. That will take her from getting checks for 4 kids, to just getting one. So, she is now pushing hard to try and get Linda into special education classes, which will get her more money. Linda's recent behavior problems at school are only fueling her cause, though her teacher refuses to sign the necessary papers. I want to desperately to home school those girls, but I don't even know if I will be here in the fall!!!

Okay, so I think I am rambling now when I really should get back to packing (did I mention how much I really dislike packing?!?). As I look ahead and see everything on the horizon I am so overwhelmed. This week I am holding on to this scripture: "Martha, Martha [Trish, Trish]," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." ~Luke 10:41-42

Welcome to the world Ephraim!!

Yay!! On may 11th, 2007 at 1:52p.m. Ephraim James Aday was born to my friends Scott and Catherine (Catherine has been my best friend since first grade). Isn't he cute?!? He came a few weeks early, but the Aday's were ready (as ready as they could be I suppose, hehe). We weighed 6 lbs and 14 ounces.

I haven't talked to Catherine yet, but I am really excited to hear how she enjoys being a mom, she's going to be great at it!!! Now I just have to get to Florida to meet him...

Kids Day!!!!

Today was absolutely one of my most favorite days of the year! Kids Day at PBU!!!! Next to the Prayer Pals and Kids Club Christmas parties, Kids Day is my favorite day. We always have SO MUCH FUN, and today was no exception.

PBU stands for Philadelphia Biblical University and every year around this time they hold a mission conference for junior high youth groups. The conference ends with a Kids Day, which the junior high kids run and we just get to attend. I think that's part of the reason I enjoy the day so much...I don't have to set up or clean up, or make and keep a schedule, I just get to play with the kids!

This year we took 40 kids, so we got the nice bus to come pick us up (PBU even provides our transportation!). The kids really loved the bus ride, and that was only the beginning! The day always starts with a puppet show that I am never impressed with, but I know its good experience for the junior highers. This year was especially interesting since all the songs in the puppet show were country songs...and the day is geared toward inner city kids. I don't know many inner city kids that listen to country music...

For some reason they split our group of 40 in half and paired each half with another church, so I didn't get to see all the kids all day. That made me kinda sad, but I really enjoyed my time with the kids that I did get to hang out with. I tried to pair myself with a lot of the kids that aren't as involved with the church so I could hopefully get them more involved.

So, after the puppet show we all got to eat some lunch and then head to the fun. The kids spent the day at a petting zoo, jumping on inflatables, making crafts, winning prizes at bingo, playing outdoor games, and finally talking one on one with a junior higher about the Gospel. I was excited because this year I was pretty sure we had several kids that weren't Christians, or at least didn't fully understand the Gospel. It was so great to talk to those kids on the way home and hear everything they learned. They were all SO excited!

The day lasted 6 hours, and we were all pretty exhausted by the time we got on the most. Most of the kids (and leaders, haha) fell asleep on the bus ride home. In all it was an amazingly fun and successful day. I'm kinda sad its over.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I am missing my mom. With everything going on in my life right now, I wish I had some stability around me, which is what she is for me. Frank and Carisa have been out of town for the last 10 days and I have been staying at the house with Kirsten. Its been really fun to have someone around and to not eat dinner alone. Frank and Carisa come back on Monday, so Kirsten and I are going to try and clean the house really well tomorrow. I'm still feeling really overwhelmed with everything...planning after-school trips and parties and ALL the summer stuff while still trying to figure out if I am going to even be here in the fall. I'm trying to take things one day at a time, but I get a little worried that things are going to catch up to me. This verse in Matthew is what I am trying to hold on to..."Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew 6:34