READING ROCKS!!!

I can't believe that this is basically my only Reading Rocks post of the summer. Not only has Reading Rocks consumed a lot of my time this summer, it has also been one of my absolute favorite parts of the summer. I am SO sad its over!!

We had over 70 kids participate this summer, and about 55 of them earned enough points to be invited to the party...and we had about 45 or so actually come to the party. It was so much fun!!

We started the party with the kids getting some yummy food and watching a slide show Carisa made of them throughout the summer. They really like to see themselves. :)

After we ate, we all went into the awards room where each kid received a certificate of achievement for participating and it had their overall points total. It was really exciting because this was the first year that the overall points winner wasn't a staff kid! We also handed out special fruit of the spirit awards to 6 special kids that consistently showed the fruit of the spirit throughout the summer. That was a really fun addition this year!

After receiving their awards the kids are called one by one (in order of points earned), to pick out a brand new backpack! Thanks to Shannon's amazingness there were over 80 backpacks for them to choose from!

After getting their backpack they get a bag full of school supplies, a pack of new socks and a pack of new underwear. When I say FULL of school supplies, I am not exaggerating. Each kid received: 1 binder, 1 pack of loose leaf paper, 2 spiral bound notebooks, 5 folders, 2 packs of pencils, 1 pack of colored pencils, 1 pack thin tip markers, 1 pack broad tip markers, 1 pencil sharpener, 1 white glue, 2 glue sticks, 1 ruler, 1 pack of pencil top erasers, 2 pink erasers, 1 pair of scissors, and 1 pack of index cards! They are all ready for school!!

The final part of the party is to take a group picture, and then the kids head home.

Overall, the party was an amazing success. It was exciting for me this year (and kinda sad) because I didn't have any kids participating in Reading Rocks, but both Linda and Bonita were AMAZING helpers...at the party and all summer. I continue to be so impressed with their love for kids and their willingness to serve.


Shannon did an INCREDIBLE job getting all the backpacks and supplies together, and Carisa literally took care of everything else. What did I do? Well, I was in charge of the dancing. :)

Looks like I'm going to have to try and work a little harder on my job next year, haha.

It was SO much fun to see all the kids run and show off their new things to their parents, and to see the excitement on the parents faces as well. So many of them were so proud of their kids' hard work, and so excited to have help getting their kids the things they need for school.

I especially want to thank SO many of you who continue to support me and these kids. Don't these faces just make EVERYTHING worth it??

(My Bella!!)

SO MUCH!!

There is so much going on right now, I think my head might explode. Its all stuff that I really want to share too, but I can't do it all at once, that would be overwhelming for me and for you! This is the last week of clubs for the summer and things should be winding down, but they aren't. There is still so much going on! Just this week I am starting the process of selling my house, going to NY for the day tomorrow (the girls have never been!), helping with the Reading Rocks party on Wednesday (which I have talked so little about all summer, yet has been a huge part of my summer!), our annual church picnic on Saturday and preparing for God's Girls, which will start next week (usually the hardest week of the year for me). The week after that we will be taking the teens to a camp in New York for a week (last minute invite!), then the Cornerstone Block Party and then our staff retreat! Oh, and I have to get the girls ready to start Cyber School. AHHH!!! I'm trying not to freak out, but that is clearly not working, haha. (I'm also training for a half marathon, cause I have so much free time).

Oh, and as of Sept. 1 I am the only AIM person working in Philly. We still haven't figured out exactly what that means...

Okay, I've already overwhelmed myself, haha. The cool thing is that God is most definitely doing some really exciting things right now.

I guess I will start with all the house stuff. I got a wonderful response from the people that I asked to pray about me moving and everything seems to be pointing in the direction of trying to get this other house. I felt a real peace about it (and still do, despite the stress), until last night. I started to question everything... and then my neighbors started their party, for the 3rd night in a row. I was almost at a breaking point, and I really feel like it was God reminding me of what He has already said. As I picked up the phone to call the cops for the 4th time in 3 days, I felt God tell me that He was taking me to a place of peace.

So, I decided to start taking steps toward selling my house. I talked to several realtors today and am now seeking wisdom as to who to go with. One seems much more professional, but they don't sell as many houses in our neighborhood as the other realtor. I will be meeting with both this week and I'm praying that God will make the decision very clear to me.

I also met with the couple who are going to sell me their house and we went over to look at the house I am hoping to buy...mainly to make sure I remembered it the way I thought I did and to make sure it was really what I wanted. As we walked through the house, it already started to feel like home. The bedroom for the girls is twice the size of the one they are in now. The living room is twice the size of my current one, which means I can move my "office" out of my bedroom and into the living room, something I have wanted for years.

The other 2 bedrooms, mine and Ashley's, are perfect size for us as well and we will easily fit into the house. The kitchen definitely needs work, but it is totally functional as it is, so things can be fixed whenever the money/time is there. And, my dad will be VERY excited to know that the security system is totally state of the art and covers literally every inch of the house.

The block is so quiet!! As I stood on the front steps, looking at the elementary school across the street I was overwhelmed with joy thinking about inviting kids to stop by on their way home after school. I got so excited thinking about waving to them on their way to school in the mornings, getting the chance to pray for them every day. I already know probably close to 100 kids that go to that school, which means there are hundreds more to meet!! I can't just walk in the school and introduce myself, but I can hang out on my steps and start to build relationships that way! I'm so excited!!

Of course, all the details that surround selling a house and buying another one are extremely overwhelming to me. I do have several really great friends that are helping me and I am just praying that the Lord will really give me discernment as I make decisions. These are really big decisions!

I need the house to sell for a certain amount in order to afford the new house, and with the market the way that it is, its going to have to be the Lord that makes it happen. And I have to be totally honest, I am having a really hard time trusting. Its doesn't make sense at all, but I am. When I bought my current house I actually had a supporter write me a very substantial check to cover everything, and I never asked for that. If God can do THAT, why can't I trust Him to provide the money I need this time??

I guess there is a part of me that is just questioning myself. Am I really hearing the Lord right? And the question I always wrestle with: Is He really THAT good?? I can't believe that I still ask myself that question, He consistently shows me that He is always BETTER than I think, but I still struggle. A lot.

So, basically I'm taking baby steps of faith and trying really hard to focus on Him and not the GIANT waves coming all around me. I'm not doing so great at it, but I continue to walk forward, knowing that His hand is always there for me to grab as I start to sink. I am learning a lot right now, that is for sure.

Things continue to be very up and down with the girls, but I am more confirmed than ever in the decision to have them stay with me. I can see the battle that is raging for their hearts, and I am fighting hard for them...and of course, making countless mistakes along the way, and then watching God redeem them for His glory. Its still a struggle to not have a say in everything (they both recently got piercings that I would never have approved of, but I'm not their mom...), but that, like everything else right now, is a learning process. Overall we are having a lot of fun together...and we are all growing a lot. I'm excited and nervous to see what this school year will bring. Both girls see it as a fresh start for them, and I am really praying that it will be!!

Okay, that's about all I can update for now. Don't worry though, there will be plenty more to come. I'm excited to take the girls to NY for the first time. I'm going to try and sneakily make it as educational as possible as we go to Ellis Island, Ground Zero, and possibly to see a Broadway show. We'll see if they can survive all the walking. :)

Prayer and Wisdom Needed

I recently sent an email out to many of my friends and family asking for prayer and wisdom about an opportunity that has come up for me. I realized a few days after I sent the email that I have several wise friends in the blogging world, so I decided to post the email here and get more people praying!

As many of you know, I own my house here in Philly and over the years have put a lot of work into it. In fact, many of you have been a huge part of that work, whether through hands on labor, financial support and/or prayer support and encouragement. I LOVE my house!

Unfortunately, there are 2 big problems with my house. First, the block it is located on is less than desirable for me. Many of you have heard my stories of countless all night parties, loud music during the day, drunken fights and even shootings. While I understand that many of these things are common in my neighborhood, it seems to all be magnified on my block. There are a few kids on my block, but none that I have been able to develop any relationships with, and none whose parents will allow them to come to Kids Club. My desire and passion is for the kids in this neighborhood, and I would love to see my house become a welcome place for kids in the neighborhood.

Another problem is that my house has only 2 bedrooms. This was perfect when I was living alone, or even had a roommate. However, Bonita and Linda have now been living with me for over 5 months and this seems to be a permanent arrangement. They are currently sharing a room that honestly is barely big enough for one person, much less 2 teenage girls who are VERY different from one another. :) I also have a friend, Ashley, who is staying with us for an indefinite amount of time (she is sleeping in the basement currently). She can help me pay the bills (which is a HUGE blessing now that most of my bills have more than doubled with the girls staying with me...and I don't get any financial assistance from their mom nor have I gotten a raise recently, haha), and we all love having her around so we would love to have her live with us for as long as she would like.

My parents recently came to visit me and the realities of how difficult it is for me to live on this block really came to light. I rarely get to sleep through the night because of the loud parties (I call the cops at least once a week), and I had to have the girls stay with their mom while my parents were here because there just wasn't enough room in the house for everyone.. In the 4 days that my parents were here I had to call the cops twice because of drunken fights happening in the street. (My parents were here for the 4th of July, so that made things a little crazier than usual, but only a little).

While my parents and I had a GREAT visit, my dad asked me to seriously consider/pray about moving. Not out of Philly or even Kensington, just away from my block. He was able to see something I couldn't; how worn down I am physically and emotionally from not having a sanctuary in the midst of the chaos. It was very eye opening to me.

I told him I would pray, but I honestly didn't see any solution. I don't make a ton of money, and the idea of finding a decent house at a decent price that didn't need a lot of work (I'm way too tired to start from scratch again with a house!!) didn't seem possible. In fact, as I started looking around, I became more convinced that I wouldn't find anything. The only houses in my price range were shells in need of full rehab. The cheapest "move in" condition house I could find within 5 miles of my church was over $100,000 (ahhh living in the city!).

Then, out of nowhere, an opportunity came. There is a family in my church here in Philly that recently moved into a new house and are looking to sell their old one. It is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house on a MUCH quieter block (although its only 2 blocks from my current house). Each bedroom is big enough that the girls can still share a room but actually have space of their own, and Ashley could stay living with us, and continue to help with the bills. If and when Ashley ever decided to move, the girls could then have their own rooms.

The house also has about 200 more sq. feet than my current house, giving us all more space in general. Plus, the basement could eventually be finished as well. The house actually on the same block as several members of the church as well as many Kids Club kids. It does need some work done (like a new kitchen, haha. At least I've already done that once!), but its all cosmetic. The electric, plumbing, structure, etc. are all great. Oh, and it is right across the street from Willard Elementary school, where almost all of my Kids Club kids attend. I LOVE the idea of seeing the kids every day as they go to and from school and all the opportunities that will open up to meet new kids. All of this, and, they are willing to sell it to me for a very reasonable price....which is incredible.

PLEASE know that I am not writing this asking for any financial support. I simply need prayer and wisdom as to whether or not this move is from the Lord.

I would HAVE to sell my house, and at a decent price, in order to afford this new one, and the idea of having to do that terrifies me (I don't know anyone looking to buy a house currently). Plus, I would have to qualify for a mortgage (again, I don't make much money, haha). I KNOW that God can take care of all of these things, but all of these things really stress me out and cause me to doubt. I want to make sure this is from Him, otherwise, I will move forward and fall flat on my face!

So, I am asking you to pray with me and share any wisdom the Lord may give you. I don't have any kind of timeline, right now I am just seeking and listening...and I'm asking you to help me in that..

I can't even begin to express to you what a joy it is to have the support and encouragement that each of you have provided. I can't say enough how lost (and NOT in Philly) I would be without the amazing support team that God has provided in you.

I will keep you updated, and PLEASE share with me anything on your heart!!

Thank you all so much!

He hears me

Wow, I'm sorry its been so long since I have updated on here. Life has been BUSY! Having Bonita and Linda around is full of endless blessings, but leaves very little blog time in the day. I will update a lot more soon, but I wanted to share a fun story with you.

On Wednesday, the girls and I spent the day at Dorney Park with several of our friends (including my current roommate Ashley and one of my favorite kids in the world, I will call her Bella...spanish for beautiful). :) They were calling for rain on Wednesday and so on our way to the park we decided to have a conversation with Jesus about the weather.

The girls and I asked Jesus to have it rain around 5:30 or 6, but have it only last about 15 minutes or so. We figured this would probably be late enough that most people would just decide to go on home. Then, when the rain stopped, the rides could open again and we would get to ride them all without many lines thanks to everyone going home.

We got there as soon as it opened and spend the morning in the water park, and had a BLAST. Around 2 or so we had lunch and went back in to ride all the roller coasters. Then, at 5:35 a sudden down pour hit and all the rides were shut down. We watched as a massive number of people left the park and went home. The parking lot emptied pretty quickly.

After about 15 minutes, the rain stopped and the rides opened again. We spent the rest of the day (we stayed until closing at 10!) riding all the rides we wanted to, as many times as we wanted to because there were no lines anywhere. It was AWESOME!!

If God hears, and answers, the silly requests I throw at Him, how much more does He hear and answer to the deep desires of my heart?!?

Learning from Andrew Jackson

I really like history. I especially like American History. I don't know why, but history just fascinates me. I am horrible at memorization, but for some reason learning History was never about memorization to me. I learned it, was fascinated by it, so it just stuck. AP American History was my favorite class in high school, and it came pretty easily to me. I thought about majoring in history in college, but I didn't see much of a future for me with a History degree (unless I went into teaching or on to graduate school, neither of which I desired). I did get a history minor in college, and most of my history classes were my favorites.

The late 1700's through the 1800's is the most interesting time period to me. The people that make up that part of American History are endlessly fascinating to me and I feel like I can learn so much from them. Actually, the people are what make history most interesting to me. I like learning about events, but the people are what I like the most. (I think this is why I enjoy the bible so much as well. Its a historical account that focuses not just on the events, but the people as well. Its always interesting to me!). For some reason, Andrew Jackson, is one historical figure that continues to fascinate me. I have read a lot about him, and still want to know more. Maybe its because I prosecuted him in a mock trial we had in 11th grade (and won). He's also a pretty controversial figure and I just can't decide if I really like him or not, which makes him really interesting to me. (My favorite athletes tend to be like that as well...you don't want to like them but you can't deny that they're good...its weird, I know).

Anyway, my interest in Andrew Jackson brought me to a revelation recently. And yes, you are about to get a history lesson. Feel free to skip to the end of this bores you. :)

Andrew Jackson has been described in many ways. His nickname was "Old Hickory" because he was so tough (he never backed down from anything). He was a war hero in the war of 1812, VERY popular among the American people (actually won the popular vote in the 1824 presidential election but lost because of electoral votes. Why we STILL haven't changed that system, I will never understand, but anyway...). He loved his wife more than anything and was incredibly loyal to those he supported. If he didn't like you, however, you were in trouble. Jackson also owned over 140 slaves and is responsible for the horrific "Trail of Tears" in which the Cherokee Indians were forced out of their home in Georgia and moved out west, a journey that killed 1 in 4 along the way.

I would describe Jackson in one word: bitter. Bitterness surrounds almost everything he did, good and bad.

Andrew Jackson was captured by the British and tortured as a prisoner of war. Not long after, he fought against a tribe of Indians who were attacking (at the command of the British) whites along the Georgia/Florida border. I believe it was his bitterness toward the British, and the Indians who did what they said, that lead to him forcing the Cherokee out of Georgia, in direct violation of the Supreme Court.

Jackson won the popular vote in the presidential election in 1824, but the electoral votes were tied. That meant that the vote went to the House. The Speaker of the House (Henry Clay) gave his support to Adams and Adams was declared the winner. He then nominated Clay as his Secretary of State (back then the Secretary of State was basically next in line to become President). Jackson was convinced that Adams and Clay were corrupt and never forgave either of them.

In 1828 Jackson ran for President again and ran a very dirty campaign against Adams. Adams fired back, often slandering Jackson's wife in the press. When she and Jackson met, she was in an unhappy marriage. Her 1st husband petitioned for, and was granted permission to divorce her. She and Jackson mistakenly thought that meant that the divorce was final, and they married one another soon after. A few years later they discovered that the divorce had not been final and they were therefore living in sin. The divorce was quickly taken care of, and Jackson and his wife remarried one another, but the gossip continued. Adams often attacked Jackson's wife's "bigamy", which angered Jackson a lot (The marriage/divorce mishap happened 31 years BEFORE the 1828 election). Incidentally, Jackson also fought in at least 13 duels in his life, most of which were because of people talking about his wife. Jackson won the election of 1828 by a land-slide, but his wife died before he was inaugurated. Jackson blamed John Quincy Adams for the death of his wife because he said the stress from the accusations of the campaign killed her. Jackson spent the rest of his life trying to make Adams miserable (and succeeded).

That is just the tip of the ice berg about Jackson. He held so much anger and resentment inside of him for every real and perceived wrong that he faced. And it appears that he never let it go.

In many ways, Jackson was a good president...fighting for the common man and against the elite that had been running things. He was the first to support term limits, hated the electoral college and is still the only president to have $0 federal debt during his term (although it didn't last long). However, his anger and resentment often clouded his otherwise good judgment and led to a fight with the congress over the national bank, directly disobeying the Supreme Court and being responsible for the deaths of thousands of Indians, firing his entire cabinet because he didn't like the way their wives were acting and almost losing South Carolina as a part of the US because he refused to compromise.

I truly believe that Jackson could have been one of our greatest presidents had he been able to push aside his pride and bitterness.

But, he wasn't. So, instead of having a great president, we have a pretty good one that could have been so much more, and in some instances did way more harm than good.

I don't ever want to look at my life and think it could have been so much more.

Yet, I feel like at this point, there is a lot of pride and bitterness holding me back.

I realized that I have lost love for my neighbors and instead harbor incredible frustration and even bitterness toward some of them. I have held on to this frustration under the guise of "righteous anger", but that's not what it is. Its me not loving.

I should be able to sleep at night without music blaring right outside me window. The fact that I can't is not the fault of my neighbors. Its the fault of the selfishness they struggle with. The same selfishness that I struggle with, it just comes out in a different way.

I want to love my neighbors, but right now I don't. And honestly, that fact didn't really bother me much, until I saw myself in Andrew Jackson. Bitter and angry. Not pretty.

I'm fascinated by Andrew Jackson, but I don't want to be like him.

I want to love, Jesus. I need your help.

Oh How I Need You, Lord

I am currently sitting in a windowsill on the 17^th floor of hotel room overlooking the city, listening to a 9 month old little girl babble to herself while fighting the sleep that will (hopefully) soon win. The girls (Linda, Bonita, and Cupcake) are downstairs playing in the indoor pool. It’s the first time in a while that I feel really relaxed. (The 9 month old is Cupcake’s niece).

This last week has been insane. I led an AIM trip in Philly (that consisted of 2 churches), and part of that trip included running a VBS at Cornerstone. I also did all of my normal Cornerstone activities (Reading Rocks, Kids Club, etc). My car spent the week in New Jersey, which meant I couldn’t travel back and forth to my house like I am used to. Unfortunately, that meant that I would leave the house at 8 a.m. every morning and got home around 11 or later every night. Needless to say, by Friday I was exhausted. The girls were with me for almost all of that, and unlike me, they were AMAZING!

For the last several weeks I have been spending my times with the Lord trying to rekindle my desire for Him. This week reminded me that even when I don’t desire Him, I NEED Him. I had forgotten how desperate that need is. I literally had nothing to offer anyone, and every night in worship fell before Him crying out for…Him.

I got spiritually beat up pretty bad this week. I battled with feelings of uselessness and utter failure almost every moment of every day. I am more aware than ever that anything good that came out of this week could not have come from me, it is ALL Him. I can’t really describe how worn out, bruised and battered I felt by Friday.

We survived the week, and by everyone else’s accounts, it was a great trip. The VBS was amazing and the students talked every night about how God was moving in their lives. (You can check out the video blogs on the trip at http://philadelphia.myadventures.org/). They even spent several hours washing people’s feet on Kensington Ave. It was amazing. The girls were incredible. They had their moments (they are fighting with one another a lot lately, I wish I could give them each their own room), but overall they were wonderful. They didn’t complain at all despite the long hours(they were with me everywhere…from 8 a.m.-11 p.m.), and were always willing to jump in and serve.

By Friday we were completely exhausted and really needing a day off (I worked over 80 hours this week between Cornerstone and AIM). The girls spent the day with their mom, so I planned to go to NJ to pick up my car, hang out there for a while and then come home to just chill. That was not exactly what happened.

First, we left Philly about 2 hours later than we planned (my friend Ashley kindly drove me the hour and a half to Ocean City to get my car). We hit some traffic as well, so we didn’t get to the mechanic until around 12:45 (we had hoped to be there by 10 at the latest). My car was ready to go though, and it started right up when I got in, I was so excited!

Ashley headed home and I headed to a movie theater. I VERY much enjoyed the movie (mostly because I was by myself), although I was one of only about 5 people in the theater yet I somehow had people sitting right behind me. That kinda made me mad, but I got over it. J

After the movie I started back toward Philly so I could take a shower, relax and sleep (I was SO tired!). I made it about 30 minutes down the road when my car radio cut off (exactly what happened the week before). Then my power windows wouldn’t go down (again, happened before). I realized immediately that I didn’t have much time before my car was going to die again so I quickly got off the interstate and made it to a parking lot before it quit on me. It was about 4:30 by this time, and I was pretty frustrated. When my car broke down a week ago I told the mechanic I thought it was the alternator since it started with the radio cutting off (the alternator is what distributes power throughout the car. A battery recharges itself, so it shouldn’t cut off while driving, but an alternator will). Anyway, the mechanics said that the battery was the problem, so that’s all they replaced. They were only half right.

I called a tow truck and about an hour later was again sitting at Pep Boys waiting to hear the news. I was right, it was the alternator. Apparently, the problem had been a bad battery and a bad alternator. The other Pep Boys didn’t test the alternator once they saw the bad battery, so they didn’t catch the problem. Thankfully, since it was their fault, I didn’t have to pay for the towing or the second tests. Unfortunately, I did have to pay for the alternator and the labor to install it, which came to a little under $350. That, plus the $150 I spent on the new battery has bankrupted me for a while.

Thankfully, this Pep Boys was able to fix my car that day, so by 8:00, I was on my way home. I got back to Philly, picked up the girls and was finally in my bed by around 9:30…and I was DONE, completely wiped. My neighbors, however, were just getting started. They were having some sort of party that started before I got there, and was still going as of 5:00 this evening, when the girls and I left. I didn’t sleep well last night.

My house was a disaster from all 3 of us just running in and out of the house all week (and we didn’t clean anything up from our beach trip), so we spent the first part of today cleaning. The girls did a great job with their chores and my house actually looks livable. Unfortunately, around 2:00 this afternoon I had a mini breakdown. I was SO tired and wanting a nap, but the music was SO loud outside. I literally couldn’t take it anymore. So, despite the fact that my car completely bankrupted me, I went to priceline.com and prayed we could find a decent hotel at a decent price so I could get away and at least get some rest. The girls were pretty frustrated as well, they had a really long week too!

Let me just say that I LOVE the “Name Your Own Price” thing on priceline. I decided to get a room for two nights so we would really have some time to relax, and we ended up getting a 4 star hotel (with an indoor pool!) in the heart of center city for 60% off. We were packed and out of the house by 5:00! And, thanks to a wonderful gift card I got for my birthday, we had a really yummy Olive Garden dinner (only 2 blocks from the hotel!) once we checked in. You could literally see the stress and frustration wash off as we laughed and splashed in the pool.

I hadn’t been able to spend much time with Cupcake this week, and the girls both consider her their best friend, so we were VERY excited she could come too. She helps her parents take care of her niece a lot, and tonight she was in charge of her. I really wanted to help ease that load (she is only 17 and has to help raise a baby that she didn’t give birth to. She loves her niece, and her parents are great, but its hard…), so I told her to bring the baby. I have enjoyed every moment of playing with the baby and am loving watching her sleep right now. I don’t want to go back home. I have no desire to leave Philly, or even Kensington. I also have no desire to return to my block.