Cruisin!

Tomorrow morning at 4 a.m. I will head to the airport with 5 friends that I really love. We will fly to Miami where we will board a cruise ship and spend the next 5 days together traveling to the Bahamas and having an amazing time. I am SO PUMPED!!!

I realized earlier this summer that it has been 4 years since I have taken a real vacation. That is a long time! (I don't count the beach trip earlier this summer since I had 9 kids with me!). I'm ready for this one!

How can I afford such a trip?!? JESUS!! Haha, seriously though we found an incredible last minute deal that we couldn't pass up. And thanks to our rebate checks, we had the money to do it! We actually looked at some cruises leaving out of Philly, but this deal was so amazing that the cost of the cruise plus the flight to Miami was still cheaper. Thank you Jesus!

This last week has been insane. For the first time in my life, I am actually important at my job. What I mean by that is, while I used to be able to just go away and have someone cover me for a few days, now I have to actually take care of things before I leave because there isn't anyone else that can do them. So, I have spent all week basically preparing to go away...and its been crazy. But, honestly, a lot of fun too. :)

But, now I am ready to go. I have sent tons of emails, made several spreadsheets, spent hours on the phone training people to do what I do. I have also typed up several different "How To" documents and answered countless questions. If I didn't come back from this cruise, my job would still be covered. :)

I have also gotten everything ready for Kids Club. Birthdays, slide shows and even a new bulletin board are ready to go.

So, now I am ready to cruise. Did I mention that I'm really excited?!?!

I know there will be internet available on the cruise, but I am going to avoid it. I think I would be too tempted to check my work email and that wouldn't be fun. So, you will have to wait until I get back to hear all about it. :)

Alright, I need to get some sleep so I can actually get up in time for the airport run! (Thank goodness for Frank Hinson who is willing to wake up at a crazy hour to drive us all to the airport. We weren't sure we could find anyone who liked us enough to do it, haha).

Please pray for good weather!! There aren't any hurricanes on the horizon, but there is still talk of rain. We want sun!!

Also, please continue to pray for my roommate situation. A friend of mine knows that I have been struggling with having a roommate and recently mentioned to me that she actually really needs a roommate and she was wondering if my roommate would be willing to move in. I thought it sounded like a great idea (their personalities actually match better), so I mentioned it to my roommate. Well, she didn't take it well and is pretty upset right now. I really feel like this is something that God may be doing, but I need Him to come and show all of us what He is up to!

I am hoping that this time of me being away will really allow both of us to really hear what God wants to do.

Also, PLEASE be praying for Carisa and her family. She is 8 1/2 weeks pregnant and is horribly sick. She was very sick with her last pregnancy but this one is even worse (which I hope means its a girl, hehe). I even took her to the ER on Friday because she is so depleted of nutrients. Her doctor's aren't overly concerned about her health (this is actually somewhat common), but she is miserable. Please pray!

Alright, I am off to bed. If my last vacation is any indication (the "dream" vacation), I will take tons of pictures, and I will share them all when I return!!

I've Been Busy!!

Wow, I haven't blogged in forever! Did ya miss me? :) Unfortunately, this is not going to be a very long or informative blog entry. I have no real excuse for not blogging other than, I have been extremely busy! My new responsibilities at AIM are still very exciting and fun...and time consuming! Add to that my preparations for Cornerstone clubs to start up next week and I barely have time to sleep. Don't worry though, I am so tired at the end of that day that I have been sleeping plenty! Hopefully I will have more time in the near future to catch you up on things. I did get my newsletter in the mail this week, so that should help. If you don't receive my newsletter, but would like to, let me know!!

I did get to spend all day Sunday with Bonita and Linda and it was WONDERFUL! I really love those girls. Bonita was the only girl in my Sunday School class so we got a really good chance to talk, and she was very open about some things that have been going on with them. They are growing up SO fast!

Okay, I'm sorry this is so short but I really need to get to bed! Before I go, though, I would like to ask for some prayer for wisdom. I had a roommate move in about 4 months ago. My main goal in having her move in was to have someone around, someone to help take care of the house, and mainly to have someone help with the bills so I might not have to work for AIM this year. Well, I am still working for AIM and that's actually going really well (have I mentioned that, haha), so I don't really need the financial help. I have also discovered that I don't enjoy having someone else around as much as I thought it would (I NEED time alone, and she can't stand to be alone), and I am apparently pretty particular about what my house should look like, and she has differing opinions (plus, her day job is cleaning, which means when she comes home she doesn't want to clean).

She is not a bad person at all and has an amazing heart. However, she is just out of college and going through a lot as she transitions, and I don't think I have the energy to counsel her through that. I need to be able to come home to peace and calm, and that isn't what happens right now. Not even close.

Also, with her moving in I have moved Bonita and Linda's room into the basement. It has been way too hot for them to sleep there, so they haven't been over as much in the last few months and I have discovered that I HATE that. Linda asked me yesterday if I sometimes wished that they still lived with me...and I could honestly answer, yes. They may be wild and crazy at times, but I always felt at peace when they were living with me. My house is not at peace right now.

So, I need wisdom. I certainly don't want to leave my roommate with nowhere to go, but I don't want things to stay the way they are.

Please pray with me, and PLEASE feel free to share any wisdom or insights you might have!

Thanks, and good night!

Purity is Hard

Because women are generally emotionally stimulated, while men are generally visually stimulated, then physical purity should be easier for women to accomplish. We actually don't have to fight temptation, because we are generally not tempted sexually. All we need to do is protect ourselves from men who are much more tempted than we are. In general, we only fall into temptation when we are trying to please a guy who is pressuring us.

I know the statement I just made is ridiculous, but when I think about "sex education", and even purity talks that I have heard, is, that's the general message.

If we learned nothing else from the 60's, I think we should have figured out that sexual temptation is certainly not limited to men.

The world has figured this out. A lot of "love" songs out today are really about a guy seducing a woman into bed. The key point here, though, is that she goes willingly; not to please him, but to have her own desires fulfilled.

I know this is a weird blog topic, but as I am openly exploring life as a single woman, I must talk about this. And honestly, I think its the secret that we don't really want to talk about (mostly because the purity talks I have heard are given in mixed company, and talking about women's desires is just uncomfortable!). Bit the truth is, for women:

ITS NOT EASY TO STAY PURE! YOU HAVE TO WORK AT IT!

And let me just be honest, the older you get...the more difficult it becomes. You get to a certain age, and its no longer scary or gross (or at least, less scary and gross, haha). And the older you get, the more in the minority you are. I can only think of one other person I know that is my age (or older) who is still a virgin. Many of my friends were virgins when they were married, but now they're married...so they're not virgins anymore.

Okay, back to the topic at hand. (Incidentally, I'm not being as completely forthcoming as I could be...although I'm not hiding anything...with my thoughts and feelings, because my dad reads this blog, haha).

I have a friend (the only one that is a virgin) who entered into a relationship that seemed to be heading toward marriage. Things got hard and it seemed like the best solution was for the two to go their separate ways, but she didn't want to break up. I asked her why. She told me, "I just don't want to die a virgin".

Purity is hard.

It takes a lot of faith to stay pure. People tell you, "trust me, it will be worth the wait". Really?
How long did you have to wait? How many years did you spend wondering if you would ever get the chance, or if you would actually die a virgin?

So many of the people telling me to wait are people who either 1) didn't wait themselves and regret that decision (which means they also have no clue how difficult it is to actually wait), or 2) waited, but also got married before the age of 25 (which for me, was the age that I really started to wonder if I would ever get married, taking the whole idea of "saving myself form marriage" to a whole different place).

So, that line has not convinced me to stay pure. I need something else.

The bible says I am supposed to stay pure.

Does it tell me how to fight the temptation?

Nope.

Okay, but there are plenty of things the bible tells me not to do that I do anyway. Paul did too: "I do what I don't want to do and I don't do what I do want to do"

Hmmmm....

This is where I am right now. I know I'm SUPPOSED to stay pure, but there are plenty of things that I'm not supposed to do that I do anyway. And no one ever told me that staying pure would be this hard. So, why should I stay pure?

Cause I could get pregnant? Actually, that's not scary to me at 28.
Cause I could get a disease? If I pick the right guy, that likely hood is very small.

In college, surrounded by believers with the same convictions as me made staying pure pretty simple. And, with my (and theirs) mindset being that I would almost certainly be married soon, it wasn't THAT hard to wait.

But, I got older. They all got married. I didn't. I'm still waiting. And its getting harder.

'If you love me, you will obey my commands". Thus verse keeps me out of trouble sometimes, but there are plenty of times when I just don't love him enough. I choose myself over Him all too often. So, how do I not choose myself when it comes to purity?

I wish I had some grand spiritual answer, but I really don't. The reason I work SO hard to stay pure is very simple:

I know Jesus should be enough, but if I'm honest (and I'm trying to be), sometimes He isn't. Incidentally, I'm working on changing that. I think He sometimes isn't enough for me because I have no concept of just how wonderful He really is. I am slowly discovering Him, and someday maybe He will be enough for me.

So, in my discussions of purity, I want to emphasize to young women that staying pure is hard. In fact, it just gets harder and harder. I can't tell them that waiting will be worth it, I don't know that it will be. I can tell them that God tells us to stay pure. And while I may not completely understand it (or Him), I know that He is trustworthy. He has never lied to me, nor failed me. So, I will seek to follow His commands.

My sinful nature, though, makes it very clear that I, in myself, can not overcome temptation. While He calls me to obey His commands, His word makes it clear that I need Him in order to overcome temptation.

As I look at the picture above, I believe He has given me everything I need in order to fight.

Yes, I am alive!!

Wow, the last few weeks have been a crazy whirlwind, and there is no slowing down in sight!!

To catch you all up...I am currently in North Carolina hanging out with my parents. Well, I'm working a lot more than visiting, but that keeps me from being too lazy. :) I got here on Sunday and will be leaving this coming Monday.

Oh, but wait..I need to back up a little bit more and share about Cornerstone and AIMs staff retreats!

After we got back from the New York mission trip (which actually went VERY well, but was exhausting), all the Cornerstone staff headed to Camp Men-o-Lan for a few days of rest, planning and fellowship. I have to admit, I wasn't too excited; last year at staff retreat my entire ministry/job kinda got flipped upside down...plus, I REALLY don't like camping. However, this year turned out to be a very pleasant time. Our times together in reflecting and planning were very enjoyable, and we had a lot of fun together in the free times. I went into the retreat feeling more disconnected from the staff than ever before (mostly because of the busyness of the summer), but left feeling more connected than ever. What a blessing!!

I had a little less than a week in Philly before I packed my bags again and headed to Atlanta, GA for AIM's staff conference. I didn't know what to expect of this week, which turned out to be a good thing, because I got lots of surprises.

It was a really wonderful time of sharing, praying and worshipping with people that I work with year round but usually only get to see once a year. We also had some great times planning as well. AIM is a pretty big organization, split into 3 different parts: The Edge (short term trips), Next Step (1-12 month long trips for college aged students), and the World Race (the Christian Missions version of the Amazing Race). I work for The Edge, and this staff conference was only for staff of The Edge. I feel its important to mention; of the 40 staff members that were there, I was the ONLY one who is single.

Anyway...the shake up for me this year came at AIM's staff conference. Without going into all the boring details, I have been given much more responsibility at AIM. I have been around the longest (of the people in my department), and once word got out that I have a business degree (not sure why that took 6 years, haha), my job changed. I have been moved into a management position, which requires me to crunch numbers as well as work with people...both of which I enjoy.

I am also taking over College Break Trips; getting people signed up and actually on the trips. I will even have the opportunity to lead some, depending on my availability. Yay!

I am actually VERY excited about this, and so far the change has been a lot of fun. Challenging, but fun.

And before you ask, yes, I will be working more hours for AIM. I am increasing my hours from 23 to 30 hours a week. Don't worry, I haven't lost my mind...

Just before all of this happened, I really felt the Lord leading me to change a few things at Cornerstone in a few different ways. I have been praying for a while about where to focus myself. I am often very torn between working with the kids and working with the teens and this summer opened my eyes for my need to pick one and slowly back away from the other. I wasn't giving my all to either, and the ministry and I were both suffering because of that.

By the time we got to Cornerstone's staff retreat, I felt very clearly from the Lord that my focus should be on the kids. I originally came on staff to work with kids and only got involved with the teens because I thought there was a need. In the last few years, God has provided other people to fulfill that need with the teens, while at the same time taking away some of the people that had worked with the kids. So, I am shifting my focus back to the kids.

What does all of this mean? It means that instead of being at the church 5 nights a week, I will be there 3 nights a week. I will still be involved with God Squad (our teen discipleship) as I really love that part. However, I will no longer be involved in the outreach to our neighborhood teens. My heart has always been with discipleship anyway, and God has brought some amazing evangelists to work with our teens.

Really, the struggle has always been with my heart and mind being torn. I constantly felt like I was having to shift gears between kids and teens. The number of hours I work is much less of a struggle than my focus constantly having to shift. My renewed focus on the kids should really help. I have a million ideas running around in my head for Kids Club, and our new tutoring program (that I will tell you more about soon!).

This time last year, as I was facing a lot of changes, I was terrified and kinda angry about it. This year, I feel 100% the opposite! I am feeling challenged and encouraged...excited, and really feeling like I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be. That is a good feeling. :)

I am also, finally, taking better care of myself personally. :) Some friends and I found a GREAT last minute deal on a cruise, we we're heading to the Bahamas at the end of this month!! I am SO excited!! A few weeks later I am flying to Chicago to spend the weekend with Brooke, Ashley and Jenna. We all lived together for a while last summer and it was AWESOME!! We are going to see the So You Think You Can Dance tour...which is pretty much the most awesome thing ever.

Now, somewhere in there I need to fit in writing/mailing my newsletter and a support raising trip to Roanoke, but I'm not too worried. I think I might even take the girls with me, we always have fun traveling together.

Okay, this has been a long enough/boring enough update...hopefully I will post some fun pictures of NC soon. If I ever get to leave the house... :)

Change of Plans

Well, my travel plans have been altered a bit. I got a phone call on Thursday from my friend Shera that she was having a hard time breathing and needed to go to the ER. I was in Georgia, so I called my roommate, Jen, and she took her. It turns out that Shera has several blood clots in her lungs, a very serious and life threatening condition. Since the clots have been caught, she is being treated and though it will take a while for it to completely clear up (approximately 3 months), she is expected to fully recover.

In light of this news, I made some calls and changed my flights and came back to Philly early today, immediately went to the hospital and spent the day with Shera. She is in a lot of pain and discomfort and was very thankful to have someone around.

Her mom is coming up on Monday, so I will be flying to NC on Sunday night. My original plan was to stay in NC until next weekend and then drive back to Philly, making a stop in Roanoke along the way. I have decided to stay in NC until the following Monday or Tuesday and make a separate trip to Roanoke sometime in October or November (I didn't really have a car to drive anyway, haha).

When I get some time I will update you on how AIM's Staff Conference went. It was a really good time, ,but it resulted in a lot of changes for me that we are still working out and I am still processing through. So, stay tuned for that update!

It actually worked out pretty well for me to not be in NC right now. My dad is extremely busy preparing for Hurricane Hanna's arrival, so I wouldn't get to see him much anyway, and this way I will miss her completely as I travel.

Shera will hopefully be released tomorrow and I will stay with her til I head to NC (the blood clots make breathing very difficult for her, and she has another one in her leg that makes walking difficult). She actually has to give herself shots (to thin out her blood) for the next few days while at home. She is too squeamish to do them, so the nurse taught me how to give them. I gave her one today! I never thought I would be able to do that, but I didn't have any problems. Maybe I should go back to school to be a nurse? :)

Okay, I need to get some rest and get to the hospital in the morning. Please be praying for Shera!!!

More traveling

I know I haven't been my usual blogging self, and I apologize for that. I have been in and out of Philly so much its been hard to keep up. In fact, this is going to be a really short one.

I am leaving early tomorrow morning to fly to Georgia for a few days for AIM's Staff Conference. On Friday, I will fly from Georgia to North Carolina to spend a week at my parent's house (I am SO READY for that!!). I will leave NC the following weekend to head back to Philly, driving through Roanoke, VA along the way to speak at my home church.

Its much traveling, but should be good! I will try to keep blogging. Talk to you all soon!