Thirteen?!?

I can't believe it, but Pedro is 13 years old! In fact, last night he came to his first Teen Club (and thankfully, he loved it!). I am still just in shock that he is growing up so fast. Last Sunday I took him and several of his friends roller skating to celebrate his birthday. The rink played several games in throughout the time with everyone in the rink. Pedro won every single one!! It was crazy and so much fun!!


Next is Linda, who is turning thirteen on Sunday. Tomorrow night she will be having a sleepover at my house with 10 of her closest friends. I spent my day today cleaning my house and preparing for the party. Tomorrow I will stock the house with preteen girls' party supplies, and stock my bedroom with movies and books. I have promised Linda that I will stay out of her way unless something happens that I need to step in on (not all of her friends are Christians). I'm so excited for her and I really hope everyone has a lot of fun. 4 of the girls at the party are God's Girls (including Linda) and Tasha is invited as well, so almost half of the girls will be God's Girls. I am praying they will be a great witness to the other girls!! I was 12 when my friends first started telling me about Jesus, and most of our best conversations came during sleepovers.

Tomorrow morning my roommate Jen moves the last of her stuff in!! I'm so excited!! She isn't actually sleeping here yet (we figured it probably wasn't the best idea to make her first night one with a lot of giggling girls), but she will be next week. I am SO excited to have a roommate, and especially her! We have been hanging out more and more lately and she is so amazing and wonderful and already a HUGE blessing to me!!

She also brought with her some furniture, including a new living room chair...or I should say, a new Gizmo chair.

Literally, every time I come home, Giz is chillin' in the chair. Of course, if people are around, he has to sit with them. But, if he's home alone, the chair is his.

I'm So Done

Things I did today:

1) Woke up at 6:45 to drive a teen to school. She informed me she thinks she might be pregnant, and is terrified.

2) Tried to get through a day FULL of work while pondering all the possible repercussions for this 16 year old.

3) Bought a pregnancy test for the teen and waited VERY anxiously for the result (it was negative).

4) Talked at length with the teen about sex, pregnancy and God's desire for her life. Prayed with her as she seeks to follow Him, but faces a lot of pressure from her boyfriend.

5) Counseled another teen who lost her virginity and regrets that choice.

6) Counseled a third teen who was recently dumped by her boyfriend because she would not go as far physically as he wanted her to.

7) Made plans with a 9 year old and an 11 year old to visit the grave of their father...and cried with them as they miss him.

8) Cried with another teen as she shared with me her mom's recent diagnosis of cancer and her fear of losing her mom...on top of the burden she feels to help her mom with the many other kids in the family.

9) Prayed with 2 teens who cried as they expressed hurt that their parents constantly tell them they won't amount to anything and will end up failures like their older siblings.

And I'm done.

Not a Sacrifice

My life is not a sacrifice. My life is a blessing. A HUGE blessing that I do not deserve, but I desire to spend my life praising God for.

Yesterday at church the sermon was about sacrifice, and how God calls us to sacrifice for Him. I won't go into my thoughts on the sermon, but it made me think a lot about my life. I don't understand how anyone can look at my life and see sacrifice.

There are several problems with seeing my life as a sacrifice (or really any life...)
1) I want for nothing in my life...I need for nothing in my life. Where is the sacrifice in that? God has continually provided for my every need, and even above and beyond that (I have TiVo for goodness sakes!!). I don't think you can consider it a sacrifice when you have everything you need.

2) Jesus dies on the cross because of MY sin. He sacrificed Himself so that I can spent my life in a beautiful relationship with Him. In light of that, how can I consider any part of my life a sacrifice? He actually suffered for me. My "suffering" is nothing compared to that.

3) As I was listening to the sermon, I had Bonita sitting on my left. At one point I looked over at her and thought, "I definitely got the better end of this deal". I mean seriously, if this is what sacrifice is...bring it on! I don't understand how anyone can look at my life and see sacrifice. My every need is taken care of. I have people that love and support me all over the country that allow God to use them to love and take care of me. Me?!? And, I get to spend my days loving on the people that God loves. Again, where is the sacrifice?

The bible says that Jesus endured the cross "for the glory set before Him". For Him, that was heaven..that's what was next for Him. I think we too often equate that with our lives...that we endure suffering here on earth as we wait for heaven. And while that is partially true, it isn't the whole story. There is glory set before us here on earth, and we don't have to look hard to see it:



Another misused bible verse (I believe) is the: "present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable". We focus on the first part...that we must be a sacrifice. So, we focus our time on all the things that we have "sacrificed". But, this verse is not at all about what we sacrifice. The verse is about living our lives in a way that is holy, acceptable and pleasing to God. The point is not what we give up, its about how we live our lives so that we can be presented to God (this is where the sacrifice imagery comes in) for His glory.

I think the minute we look at our lives in the context of all the things we have given up, we completely miss the point.

And quick side note: it appears that all of the things that people believe I have given up are in fact mostly material possessions: a nice house, yard, car, etc. Was I ever promised any of those things? No. Can you really call it a sacrifice when you don't have the things that most the world also does not have? No. I do live in a dangerous neighborhood, so I guess you could suggest that I have given up safety and security...but since God is sovereign over all, I would argue that me being here, in the center of God's will for my life, is the safest place I could be. I'm not married yet, but I don't consider that a sacrifice at all. Again, that is simply God's will for my life.

I wonder if that's why more people don't go into missions...because they see a long list of "sacrifices" they would have to make? Does anyone look at their children and think of all the "could have beens"? Do you see your children in light of all the sacrifices that you have made for them? I hope not. Any parent has sacrificed a lot for their children...time, money, convenience, etc. But, most likely, you see your children in light of the incredible blessing they are in your life; so why can't we see our entire lives that way?

The only sacrifice I see when I look at my life is the one that was made on the cross so that I can have the incredible life that I have.

Its Beautiful!!

Spring is definitely here and the weather is beautiful!! Today is a day I should have used to catch up on work and clean my house, but instead I decided to go on a picnic! So, I and several of the teens from church headed up to one of the state parks and spend the afternoon playing frisbee, picnicking, walking around and laughing a lot. We took a ton of pictures as well (they really like having their picture taken). :) I added them to my phanfare site, so check them out!

Tomorrow will be a very busy day. I have Sunday School and church in the morning. We are trying something new in Sunday School tomorrow...it appears that the weeks that I am not in the class; Bonita, Linda and Monique are very talkative. However, when I'm in there they don't talk much. So, tomorrow one of the other Sunday School teachers is going to come and ask me to help out in her class, so we can continue to test this theory. If it turns out that the girls are again very talkative, I will probably find a new Sunday School class to be a part of for a few months. So, we'll see! :)

At 2 I am taking Pedro and several of his friends roller skating to celebrate his 13th birthday! Finally, at 6 we have a talent show at church, and Bonita and Monique will be performing a dance! The last talent show was so much fun, I'm excited to see how this one goes!.

Expanding my Household

In the last few weeks or so I have been feeling like God is moving me toward something big. I had no idea what it was, but I knew something was coming. You ever get that feeling? Its the same kinda feeling I get while waiting in line for a roller coaster. Over the last few weeks, I have been waiting in line.

As I have been praying and reading the bible during this time, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on what God has called me to in my life here in Philadelphia. I have gone back through old journals and learned a lot about myself. What I have discovered is that my favorite part about my life in Philly is my "Philly Family". That includes my 9 Godchildren, but extends far beyond that. I LOVE opening my home to kids and teens and having a warm, safe and loving place for them to come. Over and over again kids and teens comment on how amazing my house is. (In reality, its nothing special. Its 2 bedrooms, 1 bath and a total of 840 square feet...not much there!)

Several things have happened in the last week to reinforce this in me. First, Bonita and Linda brought a friend to church on Sunday that ended up coming over to my house and staying for a few hours with us. She is not a believer and started the morning very resistant to the church. She only came because Linda begged her. By the end of the day, she could not stop talking about how great my house was and how she wants to come to church with us every Sunday (I'm about to need a bus, haha). Linda told me that she went home and went on and on to her mom about how wonderful my house was and how great she felt when she was here.

The second thing came with one of my favorite teens, T. Her family has been talking about moving out of the city and she doesn't want to go. She had a long conversation with her mom about how I could take care of her and that she would really love to live with me!! (I seriously doubt this will happen, but just her desire to live with me is mind blowing!)

Thirdly, Monique and Tasha are most definitely a permanent fixture in my life, mush like Bonita and Linda. They have become like Bonita and Linda's sisters and I am LOVING having them as a part of our family. They spend the night whenever Bonita and Linda do and more often than not the 4 girls are all together when they are with me. This has posed a slight problem in the house as I am running out of room to house all these girls. (Especially as they get older and taller!)

And finally, I spent time reading through my journals from 4 years ago when the kids lived with me, and I felt then that my home was becoming a huge part of my ministry. I am not talking about opening my doors to the neighborhood. I am talking about inviting people (kids and teens) into my home...where they will find love, nurturing, peace and a real place for them.

So, I started praying specifically for my home. I have a roommate moving in with me in May, leaving me with even less room, but a wonderful partner in ministry. She is an AMAZING woman of God with the same heart that I have for the kids and teens. Her desire is also to bring people into our home. So, we both started praying about what God wants to do.

I prayed through possibly moving into a bigger home, but I have always felt called to the home I am in now. And, a lot of time and energy has been put into my home, as well as prayer. Christians have lived here for over 6 years and it is a well known light on the block. As annoyed as I get at times, I have no real desire to leave my block.

That's when God blew me away. One day as I was coming home from the gym, I looked up at the abandoned house next door to me and heard the Lord say, "That is my house". ("my" as is God's house). I stared at it a bit more and quickly began to see my house expanded. I felt the Lord saying that He is going to rebuild those walls as a sanctuary for kids and teens. So, I claimed the house in Jesus name and told God I would do whatever He called me to!

The sense that I have about this house is overwhelming, I can't seem to shake it...and believe me I have tried. This house has been abandoned since I have lived here, which means its probably a horrible disaster inside. It probably has a lot of structural problems as well...and I won't even get started on the trash in the backyard. Frank Hinson told me that I am probably looking at at least $50,000 to make the house livable. Do I have that? Not even close!! Does God have that?? He has that and SO MUCH MORE!! (And I feel very strongly that God is NOT calling me to go into debt as a result of this).

I also have NO skill when it comes to construction nor do I want to rely on the people here that do...so this is a HUGE undertaking. Thankfully, God started it, and He promises to bring it to completion. My desire is to take every step that He calls me to, and no others. This HAS to be all Him, I can't do any of it.

The first step is actually getting the house. I mailed a letter to the owners (who live in Philly and have owned the house since 1991). There are so many possibilities. If there are leans on the house, then I would be expected to pay those if I took ownership. The house isn't worth much at all in its current condition, but there are so many other factors.

So, please pray with me through this step!! God can move hearts and money...and I need Him to do both!!

From there, I need to find money and workers...permits and who knows what else. Thankfully, the Lord DOES know, and He already has a plan for those things.

So, what is my desire for this house? Well, as Jen and I have been praying, we have prayed for several things. Several bedrooms for kids to come and have beds, closets, dressers...a place that feels like home. A school room where kids can come and get help with homework, and computers to help with that. A large dining room where we can have family dinners (and I can teach table manners!). A kids area where the kids can take ownership of things. I want my home to be their home.

The house has been abandoned by its owners and seemingly almost forgotten, yet God has an amazing plan for it. I believe that His desire is for that house to be a testimony to all that He has a plan for them as well. Not matter how banged up or disgusting you are inside, God can restore you to complete beauty. And, He has never and will never abandon you.

Many of these things could be provided my just having another house, but the whole point of this is to emphasize family...that we are a family. My desire is that these kids are accepted, loved, cared for, protected, nurtured and have a place where they belong. I believe God is calling me to do that in my home...and thus He is calling me to expand my home.

I will be sharing more about this throughout the process and especially in my next newsletter, so stay tuned!!

PLEASE be praying!!! This is definitely something that ONLY God can do! I have been reading a lot in Nehemiah about the rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem. It seemed to be an impossible task, and many didn't want to be a part of it. However, God's grace through Nehemiah made the impossible happen...but only with the help of the people of Jerusalem. So, I am asking for your help! God desires AMAZING things and wants to lavish His love and power on us. Let's let Him!!!

The Abandoned House

My current home

My future Home!!

April 16, 2007

A day I will never forget. I remember exactly what I did every moment of that day. There are a handful of national events that I remember vividly. The Challenger explosion (I was in kindergarten), the OJ Bronco chase and then the OJ verdict (sophomore year in high school), September 11th (senior year in college), and now April 16th.

I fell asleep on my couch the night before and even though it was a Monday morning, I accidentally slept in. My phone rang a little after 9 and I looked at the caller id. It was my mom. Wanting to sleep a bit more, I silenced the call and told myself I would call her later. Less than a minute later, my phone rang again, and it was again my mom. Since she never does that, I decided to answer the phone. She told me to turn on the news, something had happened at Tech. No one was sure what, but it wasn't good. Rumors of a shooting, and a gunman possibly on the loose. I turned on the TV and waited.

I remember being irritated with reporters as they asked ridiculous questions about the campus. It was quickly confirmed that there was a shooting at AJ Hall(where I lived during my junior year) and one at Norris. Were they connected? Was it easy to get from AJ to Norris and go unnoticed? Grab a map people!! They are a good 10 minute walk apart, with a field the size of a football stadium in the middle. No, it was not quick or easy to get from one place to the other. Stop your yapping and tell me what's going on.

How many were shot? Were any dead? 2 dead. 3 dead. Numbers are rising. At least 10 dead. 16...in the 20's...over 30...32 dead...the gunman shot himself.

What was going on?!?

Then my phone started ringing. Not with people wanting to pray. Not with people asking how I was doing. "What is going on at your school?" "Have you seen the news?" "What's wrong with the people at your school?" I stopped answering the phone, unless it was my family. They understood, no one else did.

I walked through the rest of the day in a fog, crying seemingly non stop. I cancelled after-school for the day, I knew I would be useless. I did go to God Squad that night, hoping to find encouragement and prayer. No one even mentioned it. No one understood.

Its okay, I don't know how anyone could understand. Virginia Tech alumni...well, we are a unique breed of people. Virginia Tech is so much more than the place where we got a degree. Virginia Tech runs through our blood. I am first and foremost a child God. Second only to that, I am a Hokie.

This is not a knock on my family at all, they are Hokie's as well. No, they did not attend Virginia Tech, but that isn't what makes you a Hokie. Its hard to describe what a Hokie really is, but you know one when you meet them. My mom and dad are Hokies. My brother is a Hokie. My aunt, uncle and cousin are all Hokies.

And that day, our family faced tragedy. While the world watched, listened and judged, the Hokie nation hurt. And we united. It was very difficult for me because I was alone. No candle light vigils, no prayer meetings, no one even wearing orange or maroon. My family was hurting and I couldn't be with them. I was lost, devastated and alone.

The following weekend I traveled to Virginia Tech and discovered that I was not alone. I talked to many people who had felt the same way I did; alone with no one who understood. We all understood, though, and there was healing in that.

Its now one year later, and on this anniversary the same feelings of loneliness and loss have not gone away. Time has begun to heal, but the scars will always remain.

In the year since the tragedy, I have been constantly reminded why I am so proud to be a Hokie. As the nation, and even the world, came down with accusations and criticism, the Virginia Tech family came together, stood by one another and put the world to shame. I listened to news reporters trying to get students to talk about how disappointed they are in how the school handled the shootings. Instead, what they got was unity and a resolve to overcome. While the media wanted to focus on what should have been, Virginia Tech focused on what was next. The world waited for us to fall apart, but we only got stronger.

Applications to Virginia Tech shy rocketed this year, and incoming freshmen could not stop talking about the incredible Hokie Nation that they now desired to be a part of. We showed the world that we are something special. We have something that few people have, and everyone should want to be a part of it.

This has really made me think about Christians. Do we have the unity of the Hokies? Are we quick to love and encourage and stand by one another...or are we quick to point fingers, place blame and tun our backs on our brothers? Are we strong enough to overcome tragedy and unite together when faced with condemnation...or will we crumble under the pressure?

As a body, do we show the world that we have something to be desired? Are we a family that people would want to belong to...where people will feel loved, encouraged, and not alone?

I am so blessed and honored to be a Hokie. And as a believer, I think I have a lot to learn from my Virginia Tech family.

Incidentally, I knew things would happen this way. Here is what I wrote at 11 p.m. on April 16th, 2007:

I don't really know what to say. I don't have many friends left at Virginia Tech, so it’s probable that I don't know any of the people who were killed. However, I am absolutely affected. My heart is broken for the victims and their families. My heart is broken for the current students and faculty who will have to put the pieces back together and go on with their lives.

This is so much more than a crazy story to me, it hits home. From now on when I tell people I graduated from Virginia Tech they will no longer respond, "Isn't that where Michael Vick went?" Instead they will say, "Isn't that where that big shooting happened?".

The attention of the nation is on Virginia Tech and everyone is waiting to see how the Hokie's will respond. What people will find, I believe, is an incredible response.

After 9/11 the country of the United States came together to support and encourage one another, and we stood united as one nation. We came together to fight against the attackers and keep our country safe. However, when things started to look difficult and didn't go the way we wanted them to, we turned against one another and have become a divided nation. The terrorists succeeded.

That is not what you will see happen at Virginia Tech. Through this tragedy you will get to truly see what an incredible University Tech is, and the amazing caliber of people it employs, educates and graduates. You will see Hokies unite all over the country and stand by the students, the faculty, the administration, and the police department. As hard as the media might try, you will not see Hokie's turning against one another. We will not be divided. The attacker will not win.

Every year when the Virginia Tech football team goes to a bowl game everyone asks, "What is a Hokie". Now we have an answer.

The nation is about to see what the Hokie's are really made of.