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Weekly Wrap Up

Well, its been a very busy week for me with many ups and downs...and VERY little sleep. Here is a quick run down of the highlights. (I will be writing more philosophical thoughts soon, but I need to catch up on my sleep first)

First, VBS with the AIM group. J painted Tasha's fingernails for her...

On Wednesday night at our Girls' Prayer Night we decorated our own prayer journals...

Thursday I went to the Jones vs. Conwell softball game. We had God's Girls on both sides and I LOVED watching them support and encourage each other. Last year these 2 teams weren't allowed to play each other because it always ended in a brawl. God is awesome!


Tonight I went prom dress shopping with one of the teens. We didn't find the perfect dress yet, but we are on our way...


And finally, I got another piercing!! This time it was my tragus. Yes, that is the correct name for it, I looked it up. :)

No, it didn't hurt and yes, I love it! The piercing place that I went to has a buy 4 piercings, get the 5th free...so stay tuned to see what I pierce next! (Don't worry...I'm pretty sure I'll stick with parts of the ear. Although I do think lip rings are cool...)

I'm really hoping to get some good sleep tonight, but we'll see. I think I'm getting a cold. The weather is changing and my body doesn't like it...and my extreme lack of sleep (I averaged less than 4 hours a night all this week) doesn't help. I have eaten plenty of oranges though! :)

I am meeting a group at the Hope House early tomorrow morning to get them started on cleaning. My plan is to tell them what to do and then head home to rest some more. Tomorrow night I am speaking at a college group along with my roommate Jen. My next several weekends are pretty booked with Pedro's birthday celebration, the church talent show (which includes a performance by many of my kids), Kiara's birthday celebration, Jen's college graduation, Kids Day at Philadelphia Biblical University and then a kids day at our church. In fact, my next free weekend isn't until May 23rd!! So, hopefully I will get some really good rest tomorrow!!

Its late...or early...

Yes, you are reading the time correctly...its 2 a.m. and I am still up. Actually, I am going to bed soon but I wanted to write a little bit. This week has been SO busy and there has been so much going on. My blog is often my place to debrief and reflect on things and I find that the busier the week, the more I need to debrief.

Unfortunately, so much has been going on, spiritually I feel all over the place. Okay, honestly, I am struggling. A lot. I had to make a really tough decision this week, and I am still not sure if I made the right one. I definitely sought the Lord in it and made the decision that I believe is right. But, only time will tell. More on that later...

I've also been battling with the Lord a lot this week, through my own failures and heartache as well as those around me. I promise to share more on that later as well...I just need time to process, and since its 2 a.m. and this is my first chance to sit down...well, the processing hasn't happened yet.

Activity wise this week has been really great. I have worked a ridiculous amount of hours (I'm already over 40 hours), but its all been so good. Elizabeth and I are splitting the responsibility of leading the AIM group and its been working well with my schedule. I am still able to do my normal AIM work from 9-2 each day (Elizabeth is with the group in the mornings). Then I head to the VBS that they are leading from 3-5. I have been able to take some kids with me as well, which is always fun. After VBS I head to my Cornerstone evening ministry. After that is over I head back to the AIM group for evening debrief and worship. It has been GREAT to end every day with worship!!!

Monday was also full of a lot of turmoil as I faced a really tough decision (the one I alluded to earlier). My heart was heavy all day and just really took its toll on me, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Tuesday brought a few surprises. First, I decided at the last minute to change my Kids Club lesson. I got the lesson prepared in time, but after I finished teaching it I thought it was the worst lesson I have ever done. I don't know if that's really true, but that's how it felt. As I was finishing my lesson prep, I got a phone call from one of the kids (9 years old) saying that she had come home from school and no one was home. So, I went and picked her up and spent the afternoon with her. Well, she really just tagged along wherever I went, but we had fun together. We got to go see one of the teens (and God's Girl), T, play in a softball game, which was great. Actually, another teen, P, is in her team as well. They are both God's Girls and I love them! It was really cool because T was the pitcher and P was the catcher. I was REALLY proud of T as I watched her really step up as a leader on the team. She is by far the best player on the team, but doesn't act like it, and she spent the entire game encouraging the rest of the team. It was obvious that her entire team loves and respects her, which is amazing. I didn't stay for the whole game, so when I saw her later I asked if they won the game. She said, "No, but I don't think thats important. Whats important is that we played well, and we did that, so I was proud of my team". Isn't she amazing?!?

Also on Tuesday I got a phone call from one of the teens who had the electricity turned off in her house (a mistake of the electric company, and its already back on). She asked if she and her 3 year old sister could spend the night, and I said yes. My house is not really equipped for 3 year olds, but we survived and managed to have fun! The 3 year old was born addicted to crack (she is adopted) and it was very interesting spending time with her and watching her developmental issues. I don't know a lot about toddlers, but I know that she is different. It really made me think about the possibility of becoming a foster parent to crack babies...they need so much love and attention that few people actually give them, especially in a hospital. Don't worry, I haven't signed up yet, but it got me thinking. She was wild, but I really enjoyed her!

The bright side of Kids Club was that we had a ton of leaders there and they were all awesome! I have always heard it said that you can't grow until you have the leaders in place to deal with the growth. Well, we definitely have the leaders, so I am praying for the growth! We have a lot of teen leaders, and sometimes they are more teenagers than they are leaders. This week, though, they were all amazing and so helpful! I really enjoyed them!! And, I always enjoy the kids. :)

I didn't take the teen and her sister home until after noon today, and then had to spend some time cleaning up (although much more cleaning will be necessary this weekend. Let's pray I can get motivated to actually do it!). I went to VBS again and this time took Bonita, Monique and Tasha. We laughed a lot!! Prayer Pals was also a BLAST tonight! We only had 5 kids there, and that turned out to be a blessing. All of the kids had their letters finished by around 6:30, so we went outside (it was warm!) and played a group game (with me and the other leader, Harry) for the rest of the time. We all laughed a lot and had a really good time!!

After Prayer Pals I headed to our Girls' Prayer Night and that continues to blow me away with how amazing its going. Tonight we decorated our own prayer journals (I will post pictures on Phanfare this weekend!) and in the coming weeks we will be sharing things that we write in them. We already had a huge prayer request answered this week and were all so excited to thank God for it! We spend the first part of the night doing an activity (we alternate weekly between crafty things and exercise things...next week is Tae Bo!). After that we spend some time in prayer. I am seeing the girls grow so much! They are becoming more open with each other, and with the Lord. Its draining to be out so late so many nights of the week, but its totally worth it!!

To top all of that off, the AIM trip is going really well. The team is working hard, growing and learning a lot and really blessing me as they share how God is changing their hearts. And, they are a really really fun group! So, while I don't like getting home after midnight EVERY night, I'm at least spending that time with people that I really enjoy. :)

Tomorrow will be another busy day, but its the last day of the AIM group. Tomorrow afternoon I am going to watch the Jones vs. Conwell girls softball game. Jones and Conwell are both middle schools in the area, and are huge rivals. The cool thing is that we have teens (and former God's Girls) on both teams! Normally, that would mean we should be ready for a fight (seriously, these schools hate each other). But, our amazing girls are excited to have God's Girls on both sides and are already encouraging one another. I'm so excited to go to the game!

Friday will be a MUCH more low key day with just my normal AIM stuff (the group will be leaving early in the morning). I am taking one of the teens shopping for her prom dress, but that should be a lot of fun. Saturday will be low key as well. Jen (my future roommate) and I are speaking to her church's college group Saturday night, and we are taking T with us. Jen is using it as a support raising time, and I am going to support her and share more about what God's doing in Kensington. And, we both just want to hang out with T. :) So, I plan on sleeping until I wake up Saturday and then just getting things done from there. At this rate, it will probably be waking up just in time to leave for the church. As wonderful as this week is, I miss sleeping!!

What I've been doing

I know it has been a while since I updated. Part of that was because I have been very busy, but mostly its because I really haven't had much to write. I don't really have much today either, but I thought I would write a little something.

There is an AIM group in town right now that I am helping lead. They have been to Philly 2 times before, and went on a trip to New Orleans 2 years ago (that I also helped lead). This is a group that I really enjoy and is always a blessing...and so far this year is no different!

They arrived on Saturday and have already been blown away by God. Yesterday they held a cookout on Kensington Ave. and afterwards went on and on about all the incredible things that God has shown them. We were up very late because the students just wouldn't stop talking about the Lord!

I also really enjoy the leadership team every year, and again this year does not disappoint. I stayed up even later having wonderful and fun conversations with the leaders about the Lord, the presidential election, and all of our embarrassing moments. We pretty much solved all the world's problems, prepared ourselves for the return of Christ, and laughed a lot. It was wonderful.

I am really excited about this week with the group. It is going to be incredibly busy as I continue my normal AIM responsibilities, my normal Cornerstone responsibilities, AND add on project leading responsibilities. But, as weired as it sounds, I really need this week. Aside from a more full schedule, this project also brings a lot of fun, a group passionate about the Lord, and corporate worship EVERY NIGHT! Its also a change from the norm and an opportunity for me to be challenged, and blessed in new ways. So, I'm really excited!!

I have also been learning A LOT and challenged A LOT in my relationship with the Lord. Basically, what I am learning is that intimacy is HARD. REALLY HARD. The deeper I go, the harder it gets. It doesn't make sense, but its true. The deeper I go with Him, the more He asks of me and the more He changes me. And, while I can always look back and see His incredible goodness every step of the way...the fear of going deeper is still there.

I will write more about this when I have time...and when I actually have something to write. At this point, the only major realization that I have come to is: Intimacy is hard. Profound, I know. :)

And one final note. I have been joking all weekend that my guy friends are continually giving me reason after reason to not get married. As they fart constantly and talk about things I never need to hear, I start to think that maybe marriage isn't for me. Then, today I read a very interesting article. Here is an excerpt:

"Having a husband creates an extra seven hours of housework each week for women, according to a new study. For men, tying the knot saves an hour of weekly chores."

Considering that the study goes on to say that single women in their 20's and 30's actually do the least amount of housework of all women, while single men do the most housework among men...I'm building quite a case for staying single. :)

Very Busy

I have been extremely busy this week, working 36 hours already (in 3 days!). This is a really busy week with AIM stuff, so I work from the time I get up until I leave the house for church and then I work a little more when I come home before I go to bed. I'm not overwhelmed, but I am tired!

Of course, I have taken all of my limited free time to continue to add pictures to my Phanfare site, so definitely check it out!! It has been very bittersweet to go through all of my pictures of the last almost 6 years. (You can tell I got a digital camera in 2006...the number of pictures picks up quite a bit, haha). I can't believe all the things I have been allowed to do and the incredible memories I have accumulated. I miss a lot of those times, but I am SO thankful to have had them.

It has also really brought me to my knees as I watch some of the kids struggling to find themselves...to find their way on their own. Things were so much easier for all of us when they were small and innocent. They aren't so small anymore, and their innocence is fading. My role in each of their lives is constantly changing, which is harder for me than anyone else, haha. But, its never been about me, and it never will be. Its all about God's amazing plan for them. They are His and NO ONE can snatch them away from Him. These pictures are a constant reminder how incredibly blessed I am to be a part of that plan.

True Love

In Sunday School this week we talked a bit about anger (ironic, I know). Carisa talked with the girls about how we often get the most angry at those we love the most. She talked to us about how she loves her husband very much, but sometimes she really doesn't like him at all.

As she was talking, I started thinking about my treadmill. I know that sounds funny, and it is. Nonetheless, I have a very deep love/hate relationship with my treadmill.

When I first got the treadmill, I was in love. I was so excited to spend time with it. It was work at times, but that didn't matter, I just loved my treadmill. I especially loved having it around all the time. I didn't have to leave to go to the gym, my treadmill was right there. Whenever I had the urge or desire to run, I could just hop right on my treadmill. I ran almost every day.

Slowly, though, the realities of how difficult a relationship with a treadmill mill really is have set in. I am often more annoyed with my treadmill than I am enamored with it. While I used to be excited to have it right here with me, I now find it in the way at times. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I look at it with a smile on my face ready to go for a run. Other times, I growl at it and wish it would go away.

My treadmill and I have some really good times together, but we have some really hard times. Its not easy to stick it out with my treadmill, but I know its worth it. My treadmill has made me a better person and it constantly challenges me beyond what I think I can do. I have to constantly depend on the Lord in my relationship with my treadmill. If left to my own devices, I would have given up long ago and divorced it without a second thought. I know its hard to imagine just throwing away love like that, but I am a sinful person in desperate need of Jesus.

In the long run, sticking it out with my treadmill will be completely worth it. I am being molded into the woman that God created me to be through my relationship with my treadmill. That has always been my prayer...that whatever love comes into my life is there to challenge me, sharpen me, make me more like Him, and lead me to fall more and more in love with Him.

My treadmill does that. This isn't just a fling...I think I have found the one. Let's pray I don't get scared and bail. I really want to stick this one out...