It's 8:00 in the morning and today has already been an amazing day!! I had so much fun this morning, hehe.
I told you all a few days ago that Bonita and Linda haven't been going to school and their mom and I had a plan to try and change that. So, the plan was for me to come to their house at 7:15 this morning. I talked to Dario and Luis on Saturday and told them that I was also coming to make sure they go to school too. I also had a really long talk with them about how important school is, and they really seemed to get it.
So, this morning I got up early and got to their house at 7:20. Both Dario and Luis were up and dressed and ready for school (they have to be at school earlier than the girls do), and were sitting in the couch waiting for me to come. They were so excited to see the girls' reaction to me being there (the girls did not know that I was coming, haha). I walked in the house and the boys told me that the girls were up but refusing to get ready for school. I walked up stairs, knocked on their door and then walked into their room...
The looks on their faces were priceless. There was no way to capture them for you all to see, but they will forever be etched in my mind. They knew they were busted and that there was nothing they could do. Bonita looked at me, shocked, then smiled and immediately walked to her dresser to get ready for school. Linda hid her face for a minute, tried to fight going to school for a few seconds, but they she started getting ready too.
I ended up bringing them to my house to get a shirt for Linda before dropping them off at school and was able to have a really good talk with them. They are both going through adolescence and its a really hard time for them, and it reminded me that I do need to be around more for them even though after-school is finished. The next few years are not going to be easy for any of us, haha, but I know that they will come out on the other side beautiful women of God. They are already so amazing! Their mom told me they have been really good in every other area...helping around the house, etc., but school was a struggle. I was encouraged by that and I know we can get through this year, and hopefully start next year fresh.
So, the girls are at school today and will not miss another day this year (except Friday when we go to Hershey Park). I found out Miguel hasn't been going to school either (which is really heart breaking because he is an honor roll student), so I am going to have a talk with him later today. There are only 2 weeks left of school, they can do this!!!
On a different note, our block was struck by lightening last night! Isn't that crazy?!? Around 10:30 Brooke, Jenna and I were all in the living room watching TV when we saw a VERY bright flash of light come from the kitchen (I half expected to see an Angel standing in my kitchen it was so bright!) and then heard the loudest clap of thunder that I have ever heard in my life. It set off every car alarm on the block!! I talked to my neighbor this morning and he said that sparks were flying all throughout his house!
So, in the last 2 weeks there have been 3 shootings and one lightening bolt on my block. Its looking like this is going to be an exciting summer!
Monday, June 4, 2007
Saturday, June 2, 2007
SO MUCH FUN!!!
Yesterday was one of the most fun days that I have had in a long time. The entire day was a blast!! I realized recently that I have lived in Philly for 5 years and I don't know a lot about the city. So, we all decided to spend the day out in the city yesterday! The group started with me, Brooke, Jenna, Ashley and Joy. We got on the El and decided to just pick a stop and try and find something cool from there. None of us wanted to pick a stop so we called Kirsten and just asked her to pick a number between 2 and 60. She picked 43, so we got off the El at 43rd street. Unfortunately, there wasn't anything at that stop, so we started to walk. We headed back toward 30th street, near the University of Pennsylvania. We finally stopped and asked someone where some good restaurants are and she pointed us in the right direction. (We had been walking for over an hour, but hadn't realized it because we were all having so much fun!). We found this little side street with some restaurants and coffee shops and finally picked this little Irish Pub. The food was INCREDIBLE!! After we ate we walked around a little, went in a few bookstores, stopped at a coffee shop and then headed home around 4. We had done a lot of walking, and had SO MUCH FUN!!
After we got home we had about an hour before we needed to go to the church for Jared's graduation party. Joy headed to the church to help her family set up for the party, while the rest of us grabbed a newspaper and checked out all the fun stuff going on this summer. We have made some big plans for the summer to see and do a lot of the fun Philly things that none of us have ever done.
Next, we went to the church for Jared's party and had a lot of fun. The party
ended around 7:30 and then we headed back to Center City for First Friday. Every month, on the first Friday, all of the art galleries in Center City are open for free, and they have live music and food. We only got to enjoy it for about an hour and a half, but we had a lot of fun. We saw some amazing art (even met one of the artists...she was amazing. She listens to music and then paints what she is hearing...its awesome!). We also saw a really great folk band, some belly dancers...it was just a really cool night!
ended around 7:30 and then we headed back to Center City for First Friday. Every month, on the first Friday, all of the art galleries in Center City are open for free, and they have live music and food. We only got to enjoy it for about an hour and a half, but we had a lot of fun. We saw some amazing art (even met one of the artists...she was amazing. She listens to music and then paints what she is hearing...its awesome!). We also saw a really great folk band, some belly dancers...it was just a really cool night!We finally got home around 10 p.m. and we were all pretty exhausted. We left the house at 11 a.m., and were gone for over 11 hours! We all had so much fun together! We laughed A LOT, but also had some great conversations about life and the Lord. Incredible is the only word I can find to describe the day!
Today should be another really good day. I am going to pick up the girls in a little while, and I haven't seen them in a while. Its actually not going to be too fun for them, but they don't know that yet. I found out yesterday that they haven't been going to school for the last 2 weeks, and they are about to get it. Their mom and I are working together to make sure they go for the rest of the year, and they will face some serious consequences if they don't go.
After that, though, Jenna and I are heading down to South Street to get tattoos! Well, at least talk to someone and get some ideas. We both know what we want, but we aren't sure exactly what they will look like, so we're going to check things out. If we don't get them today, we're going to go back later this week, so we're both really excited. Also on South Street, they are doing some really cool art exhibits and painting at Whole Foods, so we are going to check that out too. I think Brooke is going with us too, but I'm not sure. We don't have any big plans tonight, which is fine with me...yesterday was such a busy day, I don't mind relaxing tonight.
There is an AIM group coming tonight that is going to work with Cornerstone next week and will be running a special After-School week for me. I am SO excited about it! We have 25 kids coming each day, and its going to be a blast!! The summer has definitely started, but so far so good!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
The Right Decision
The past few days have been really good, mostly because I feel even more solid in my decision to stay in Philly. The response to my last blog was overwhelming with everyone confirming what the Lord has been saying and supporting my decision. Even my parents, who constantly worry about me overworking myself, are in full support. That has to be God! :) I'm ready to start looking for a job now, but since I can't start until September, there isn't much point right now. I'm keeping an eye out though.
Memorial Day was really nice, though kind of boring. Jenna and I decided to spend the day at the park reading and getting some exercise. Our plan started out well. It was kind of an overcast day, but that actually kept it from being too hot. We headed to Fairmount Park (my favorite place in the city) and I read while Jenna went for a run. When she came back, I headed out for a run while Jenna read for a while. Not too long after I returned from my run it started to rain. Then a strange man showed up who was showing a little too much interest in Jenna so we decided to head home. We had hoped to stay longer, but it was a good time nonetheless. We came home and finished the day by doing some major cleaning. I hadn't cleaned the bathroom or the kitchen since I moved in, and I'm pretty sure the guys didn't clean them before I left. I'm not convinced that they were ever cleaned. How do I know? Well, once we started cleaning we realized that the bathtub and the kitchen floor were very different colors than they appeared to be. It was really really really gross.
Things have been going really great having Jenna around and we both commented on how we will miss it when she moves out in a few weeks. She is absolutely what I needed right now, and vice versa. We take turns cooking (she is a great cook!) and are really encouraging one another toward healthy eating and regular exercise and we have awesome conversations about God. She is actually the one that really helped me process what God was saying and put it all together to finally be able to make the decision to stay in Philly. Plus, we have a lot of fun together! Brooke, our Cornerstone summer missionary, arrives tomorrow and I really pray she is half as great as Jenna. :) My friend Ashely comes tomorrow too, although she is only staying with me for a few days. It should be a really fun few days though! In fact, I finally unpacked my room so Ashley will have a place to sleep. The only thing left for me to unpack is the kids' room, but that doesn't need to happen any time soon...so I doubt that it will, haha.
We had a membership dinner tonight at church, which pretty much means that the summer is starting. It is going to be a VERY busy summer, but I am so excited about everything that is going on. We have a group coming next week that will do a fun program for the after-school kids. Next Friday is our trip to Hershey Park (YAY!!!!) and then all of our clubs start up again. I am definitely going to miss the flexibility I have in my schedule now, but I am excited to see all that God has in store for the summer!!
Memorial Day was really nice, though kind of boring. Jenna and I decided to spend the day at the park reading and getting some exercise. Our plan started out well. It was kind of an overcast day, but that actually kept it from being too hot. We headed to Fairmount Park (my favorite place in the city) and I read while Jenna went for a run. When she came back, I headed out for a run while Jenna read for a while. Not too long after I returned from my run it started to rain. Then a strange man showed up who was showing a little too much interest in Jenna so we decided to head home. We had hoped to stay longer, but it was a good time nonetheless. We came home and finished the day by doing some major cleaning. I hadn't cleaned the bathroom or the kitchen since I moved in, and I'm pretty sure the guys didn't clean them before I left. I'm not convinced that they were ever cleaned. How do I know? Well, once we started cleaning we realized that the bathtub and the kitchen floor were very different colors than they appeared to be. It was really really really gross.
Things have been going really great having Jenna around and we both commented on how we will miss it when she moves out in a few weeks. She is absolutely what I needed right now, and vice versa. We take turns cooking (she is a great cook!) and are really encouraging one another toward healthy eating and regular exercise and we have awesome conversations about God. She is actually the one that really helped me process what God was saying and put it all together to finally be able to make the decision to stay in Philly. Plus, we have a lot of fun together! Brooke, our Cornerstone summer missionary, arrives tomorrow and I really pray she is half as great as Jenna. :) My friend Ashely comes tomorrow too, although she is only staying with me for a few days. It should be a really fun few days though! In fact, I finally unpacked my room so Ashley will have a place to sleep. The only thing left for me to unpack is the kids' room, but that doesn't need to happen any time soon...so I doubt that it will, haha.
We had a membership dinner tonight at church, which pretty much means that the summer is starting. It is going to be a VERY busy summer, but I am so excited about everything that is going on. We have a group coming next week that will do a fun program for the after-school kids. Next Friday is our trip to Hershey Park (YAY!!!!) and then all of our clubs start up again. I am definitely going to miss the flexibility I have in my schedule now, but I am excited to see all that God has in store for the summer!!
Monday, May 28, 2007
I am staying in Philly!
I am staying in Philly. I made the decision officially today, although you all are the first to hear about it, haha. I feel 100% confident in this decision and I am going to try and explain why in just a minute. I am still unsure of what my role will look like. Unless something major changes, I will be looking for a part-time job in the fall to help supplement my income. My prayer is that I can get an 8-12 or 9-1 type job that will leave me open for all of my afternoon and evening ministry. I will again explain my reasons in a minute.
Okay, so I don't really know how to explain all of the things that God has been speaking to me over the past few weeks, so I apologize if I get confusing for you. I'm going to do my best though! (And Carisa, I still want to hear everything that you learned on your cruise!)
Okay, so obviously I have been praying about all of this for a while. First, I read about the Israelites being led BY GOD out of Egypt. First, He led them to the Red Sea. They followed Him to that exact place. He took them from one place of suffering, and led them to the impossible. They didn't get there as a result of their sin or by accident, God absolutely led them to the Red Sea...to a place where they could do nothing for themselves but had to completely rely on Him. So, what did God do? He parted the sea, stalled their enemies while they crossed the sea on dry land, then destroyed the enemies that were pursuing them. From there He led the Israelites every day by a pillar of cloud and every night by a pillar of fire.
But, where did He lead them? Well, we all know that eventually the Israelites sinned and God's punishment on them was to wander the desert for 40 years. However, before this happened, the Lord was taking them on the path to the Promised Land. What did that path look like? Well, at first it was wandering in the desert for 3 days without any water!!! What?!? I'm serious! The Lord led them around in the desert for 3 days without water, because that was HIS PLAN. Again, they hadn't sinned or gotten lost (they were following the cloud and the fire that God placed before them), and yet they went without water for 3 days. The Lord brought them to a point of complete desperation and utter dependence on Him. After 3 days He led them to water...water that was too bitter to drink. It's almost like He was playing with the Israelites! It almost seems cruel. Until you read what happens next. The Lord had once again brought them to a place where the Israelites (God's chosen and anointed) had to completely trust in and rely on God. Was their life easy? No. Were they always happy? No. Were they thirsty? YES! And I don't think the Lord had a problem with that. They were thirsty and needed water. I think the Lord loved that they were asking Him for water. I think He rejoiced every time one of His children said, "Father, I need water and I know you are the only one that can provide it. Please, give me water!" The more they asked, the more He rejoiced in being their Father and their Provider.
What He wanted to know, however, was whether or not the Israelites would trust Him to bring the water they needed, no matter how thirsty they got...or if there was a point at which the Israelites would turn from God. According to "experts", a person can only survive in the desert without water for 3 days. During those 3 days people experience extreme nausea, headaches, cramping, dizziness and even hallucinations. The Israelites followed God into these circumstances, they were a part of His plan. Would they trust Him through those circumstances, even when no solution was coming?
How about when they thought they had found a solution, and it turned out that the water was undrinkable? (Like maybe when I thought I had a roommate for the fall, but it all fell through). Would they still trust God, or was this the final straw? They were sick and tired and literally at the point of death (they didn't just think they might die, they were actually about to die), when God turned the water from bitter to sweet and the Israelites drank. God waited until the last possible minute, but He showed up. From there He led the Israelites to Elim where there were 12 springs of fresh water and had the Israelites camp there. (This is where the story goes downhill...where the Israelites forget all that God has done and end up angering God so much that He punishes them by not allowing them into the Promised Land...except for Joshua and Caleb. Lord NEVER let me forget who you are!!). This was all from Exodus 15, fyi.
I absolutely believe that I have followed the Lord every step of the way and that I am on the path that the Lord has laid out for me. I may have gotten a little off track here and there, but the Lord has always gently restored me and I believe that I am exactly where He has called me to be. I do feel like I am wandering in the desert right now, so thirsty....feeling lost, confused, dizzy...but still following His lead.
The events of the past few weeks, and especially the past few days have reminded me that there is also an enemy after me. I forget that sometimes because I know in the end he is defeated. However, that doesn't mean that he isn't out to do some damage right now. And he is relentless. As I was praying about this, the Lord led me to Joshua and Judges. In the first part of Joshua you read about all of the enemies that the Israelites fought and defeated. The Lord promised them victory over their enemies and over and over again He delivered. We see their victory over Jericho in a miraculous way, victory at Ai, victory over northern Canaan, and Edom, and so on and so on. But then you read in Joshua 15: 63 that they could not overcome the Jebusites in Jerusalem. Then again in Joshua 16:10 you read that they also could not conquer the Canaanites living in Gezer (The Canaanites over all were defeated, EXCEPT the ones living in Gezer). In fact, according to the Scripture, to this very day (meaning whenever the book of Joshua was written) the Jubusites and the Canaanites, of Gezer, live among the Israelites...they were never defeated (although the Canaanites are considered slaves). The Lord promised the Israelites victory over their enemies, why did He keep them from victory over these people?
The answer is found in the beginning of Judges. In Chapter 3 the Lord explains that the Israelites that were fighting these battles were not the Israelites that were used to battle. This was the generation of people that had come AFTER the generation that wandered the desert. This current generation had only known victory and never faced defeat. This generation needed to "be taught war" (Judges 3:2). The Lord didn't want them to become lazy or complacent in their victory, but needed them always ready for the battles they would face.
The Lord was also testing their faith. Would they "keep the way of the Lord to walk in it as their fathers did, or not"? (Judges 2:22) Every battle that we face does not result in immediate victory and rejoicing. Some battles will not be won until the day of Christ's return. Will I turn my back on Him when I face defeat? Will I continue to trust Him and follow Him as He trains me for battle?
At this point, though, in my life, I am still hurting. I am still suffering and I don't see any end in sight, and I can't help but wonder if I am doing something wrong. I hear what God is saying and I am starting to think that maybe He isn't leading me away from Philly, but I have to make sure that I haven't done something to bring this suffering on myself. Are things really supposed to be this hard, or did I mess something up along the way?
That is when the Lord led me to 1 Peter. " Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon for your testing, as though something strange were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed". (1 Peter 4:12, 13). Peter then goes on, in chapter 5 verses 8 and 9 to remind us that the enemy is prowling around like a lion seeking to destroy us! I have read plenty about suffering in the scripture and have often equated it to facing persecution or physical harm or even mockers. Here, though, Peter is talking about attacks from the enemy, that come in all shapes and sizes. Don't be surprised, Trish, when you are tested. He is making you more like Him, strengthening you everyday to fight for His glory, and ALLOWING you to share in His sufferings so you can receive even greater joy when His glory is revealed!!!
1 Peter ends with this, " And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (1 Peter 5:10). The NASB says that He will "perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish" you. He doesn't say how long the suffering will last...for the disciples and many others on this earth today, the suffering lasts their entire lifetime. However, the promise is always there...that in the end, God HIMSELF with restore me, making me strong, firm, and steadfast. That has always been my prayer...which means without realizing it, I have been asking for these trials!!!!
Here is a quote from the book "Shattered Dreams" that I am reading. "In the mystery of suffering, enter the deeper mystery of His restrained passion. As the mother holds her baby still so the doctor can deliver the needed injection, so your Lord is allowing you to suffer for reasons you do not know".
I'm not finished though, He has shown me more!!! I hope this isn't boring you all too much...I guess you can stop reading whenever you feel like it, haha. :)
The final kicker for me was where my heart is. At no point in this journey have I had any peace about leaving Philly, and my heart ached at the thought of being here but not being able to be in ministry (which would happen if I got a full time job). I truly believe that God never pushes us to His will, He draws us to it. When Jesus walked on water and called Peter out of the boat to join Him, He was already on the water. He didn't get in the boat and then push Peter onto the water, He drew Peter out onto the water where He already was. I have absolutely been feeling pushed away from Philly, not drawn somewhere else.
Then today after church I was talking with Kareem about his plans for the future. He has made some mistakes this year that have left him a little behind on his track toward graduating. He will be able to graduate on time next year, but only if he takes extra classes after school, which means he is going to have to work extra hard all year. I want so badly to help him with that. With no after-school program in the fall, I am free to be available to tutor teens as well as help them with any projects that they have. I really do feel like I have a lot to offer the teens to help them realize their potential and get on the path toward what God has for them. My biggest thing with the kids and the teens is helping them seek the path that God has for them, but also preparing them for the work required to get there. God may have given the Israelites victory in battle, but they still had to fight, and I want to give these teens the tools as well as the motivation that they need to stay on the path God has for them. I know several people who are in their late teens and early twenties that still don't understand what it means to push through when things get hard. I have learned a lot about hard work and steadfastness in every area of my life, and I want to help these teens find that for themselves. I think I can actually do it too...though obviously not on my own strength. :)
All of this, however, still leaves me with the practical to deal with. I literally don't have enough money to live off of, and I don't believe that the Lord is leading me to a place of debt. So, where do I go from here? I don't know, but I know He will show me in His time. Maybe working a part time job as well as my work at the church is what the teens need to see...that I trust completely in the Lord, but that doesn't equal laziness. Or, maybe God is ready to make my bitter water sweet and I just have to wait for that timing. Either way, I have complete trust that His plan is perfect and I will follow wherever He leads me.
'Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today" ~Ruth 3:18
Okay, so I don't really know how to explain all of the things that God has been speaking to me over the past few weeks, so I apologize if I get confusing for you. I'm going to do my best though! (And Carisa, I still want to hear everything that you learned on your cruise!)
Okay, so obviously I have been praying about all of this for a while. First, I read about the Israelites being led BY GOD out of Egypt. First, He led them to the Red Sea. They followed Him to that exact place. He took them from one place of suffering, and led them to the impossible. They didn't get there as a result of their sin or by accident, God absolutely led them to the Red Sea...to a place where they could do nothing for themselves but had to completely rely on Him. So, what did God do? He parted the sea, stalled their enemies while they crossed the sea on dry land, then destroyed the enemies that were pursuing them. From there He led the Israelites every day by a pillar of cloud and every night by a pillar of fire.
But, where did He lead them? Well, we all know that eventually the Israelites sinned and God's punishment on them was to wander the desert for 40 years. However, before this happened, the Lord was taking them on the path to the Promised Land. What did that path look like? Well, at first it was wandering in the desert for 3 days without any water!!! What?!? I'm serious! The Lord led them around in the desert for 3 days without water, because that was HIS PLAN. Again, they hadn't sinned or gotten lost (they were following the cloud and the fire that God placed before them), and yet they went without water for 3 days. The Lord brought them to a point of complete desperation and utter dependence on Him. After 3 days He led them to water...water that was too bitter to drink. It's almost like He was playing with the Israelites! It almost seems cruel. Until you read what happens next. The Lord had once again brought them to a place where the Israelites (God's chosen and anointed) had to completely trust in and rely on God. Was their life easy? No. Were they always happy? No. Were they thirsty? YES! And I don't think the Lord had a problem with that. They were thirsty and needed water. I think the Lord loved that they were asking Him for water. I think He rejoiced every time one of His children said, "Father, I need water and I know you are the only one that can provide it. Please, give me water!" The more they asked, the more He rejoiced in being their Father and their Provider.
What He wanted to know, however, was whether or not the Israelites would trust Him to bring the water they needed, no matter how thirsty they got...or if there was a point at which the Israelites would turn from God. According to "experts", a person can only survive in the desert without water for 3 days. During those 3 days people experience extreme nausea, headaches, cramping, dizziness and even hallucinations. The Israelites followed God into these circumstances, they were a part of His plan. Would they trust Him through those circumstances, even when no solution was coming?
How about when they thought they had found a solution, and it turned out that the water was undrinkable? (Like maybe when I thought I had a roommate for the fall, but it all fell through). Would they still trust God, or was this the final straw? They were sick and tired and literally at the point of death (they didn't just think they might die, they were actually about to die), when God turned the water from bitter to sweet and the Israelites drank. God waited until the last possible minute, but He showed up. From there He led the Israelites to Elim where there were 12 springs of fresh water and had the Israelites camp there. (This is where the story goes downhill...where the Israelites forget all that God has done and end up angering God so much that He punishes them by not allowing them into the Promised Land...except for Joshua and Caleb. Lord NEVER let me forget who you are!!). This was all from Exodus 15, fyi.
I absolutely believe that I have followed the Lord every step of the way and that I am on the path that the Lord has laid out for me. I may have gotten a little off track here and there, but the Lord has always gently restored me and I believe that I am exactly where He has called me to be. I do feel like I am wandering in the desert right now, so thirsty....feeling lost, confused, dizzy...but still following His lead.
The events of the past few weeks, and especially the past few days have reminded me that there is also an enemy after me. I forget that sometimes because I know in the end he is defeated. However, that doesn't mean that he isn't out to do some damage right now. And he is relentless. As I was praying about this, the Lord led me to Joshua and Judges. In the first part of Joshua you read about all of the enemies that the Israelites fought and defeated. The Lord promised them victory over their enemies and over and over again He delivered. We see their victory over Jericho in a miraculous way, victory at Ai, victory over northern Canaan, and Edom, and so on and so on. But then you read in Joshua 15: 63 that they could not overcome the Jebusites in Jerusalem. Then again in Joshua 16:10 you read that they also could not conquer the Canaanites living in Gezer (The Canaanites over all were defeated, EXCEPT the ones living in Gezer). In fact, according to the Scripture, to this very day (meaning whenever the book of Joshua was written) the Jubusites and the Canaanites, of Gezer, live among the Israelites...they were never defeated (although the Canaanites are considered slaves). The Lord promised the Israelites victory over their enemies, why did He keep them from victory over these people?
The answer is found in the beginning of Judges. In Chapter 3 the Lord explains that the Israelites that were fighting these battles were not the Israelites that were used to battle. This was the generation of people that had come AFTER the generation that wandered the desert. This current generation had only known victory and never faced defeat. This generation needed to "be taught war" (Judges 3:2). The Lord didn't want them to become lazy or complacent in their victory, but needed them always ready for the battles they would face.
The Lord was also testing their faith. Would they "keep the way of the Lord to walk in it as their fathers did, or not"? (Judges 2:22) Every battle that we face does not result in immediate victory and rejoicing. Some battles will not be won until the day of Christ's return. Will I turn my back on Him when I face defeat? Will I continue to trust Him and follow Him as He trains me for battle?
At this point, though, in my life, I am still hurting. I am still suffering and I don't see any end in sight, and I can't help but wonder if I am doing something wrong. I hear what God is saying and I am starting to think that maybe He isn't leading me away from Philly, but I have to make sure that I haven't done something to bring this suffering on myself. Are things really supposed to be this hard, or did I mess something up along the way?
That is when the Lord led me to 1 Peter. " Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon for your testing, as though something strange were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed". (1 Peter 4:12, 13). Peter then goes on, in chapter 5 verses 8 and 9 to remind us that the enemy is prowling around like a lion seeking to destroy us! I have read plenty about suffering in the scripture and have often equated it to facing persecution or physical harm or even mockers. Here, though, Peter is talking about attacks from the enemy, that come in all shapes and sizes. Don't be surprised, Trish, when you are tested. He is making you more like Him, strengthening you everyday to fight for His glory, and ALLOWING you to share in His sufferings so you can receive even greater joy when His glory is revealed!!!
1 Peter ends with this, " And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (1 Peter 5:10). The NASB says that He will "perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish" you. He doesn't say how long the suffering will last...for the disciples and many others on this earth today, the suffering lasts their entire lifetime. However, the promise is always there...that in the end, God HIMSELF with restore me, making me strong, firm, and steadfast. That has always been my prayer...which means without realizing it, I have been asking for these trials!!!!
Here is a quote from the book "Shattered Dreams" that I am reading. "In the mystery of suffering, enter the deeper mystery of His restrained passion. As the mother holds her baby still so the doctor can deliver the needed injection, so your Lord is allowing you to suffer for reasons you do not know".
I'm not finished though, He has shown me more!!! I hope this isn't boring you all too much...I guess you can stop reading whenever you feel like it, haha. :)
The final kicker for me was where my heart is. At no point in this journey have I had any peace about leaving Philly, and my heart ached at the thought of being here but not being able to be in ministry (which would happen if I got a full time job). I truly believe that God never pushes us to His will, He draws us to it. When Jesus walked on water and called Peter out of the boat to join Him, He was already on the water. He didn't get in the boat and then push Peter onto the water, He drew Peter out onto the water where He already was. I have absolutely been feeling pushed away from Philly, not drawn somewhere else.
Then today after church I was talking with Kareem about his plans for the future. He has made some mistakes this year that have left him a little behind on his track toward graduating. He will be able to graduate on time next year, but only if he takes extra classes after school, which means he is going to have to work extra hard all year. I want so badly to help him with that. With no after-school program in the fall, I am free to be available to tutor teens as well as help them with any projects that they have. I really do feel like I have a lot to offer the teens to help them realize their potential and get on the path toward what God has for them. My biggest thing with the kids and the teens is helping them seek the path that God has for them, but also preparing them for the work required to get there. God may have given the Israelites victory in battle, but they still had to fight, and I want to give these teens the tools as well as the motivation that they need to stay on the path God has for them. I know several people who are in their late teens and early twenties that still don't understand what it means to push through when things get hard. I have learned a lot about hard work and steadfastness in every area of my life, and I want to help these teens find that for themselves. I think I can actually do it too...though obviously not on my own strength. :)
All of this, however, still leaves me with the practical to deal with. I literally don't have enough money to live off of, and I don't believe that the Lord is leading me to a place of debt. So, where do I go from here? I don't know, but I know He will show me in His time. Maybe working a part time job as well as my work at the church is what the teens need to see...that I trust completely in the Lord, but that doesn't equal laziness. Or, maybe God is ready to make my bitter water sweet and I just have to wait for that timing. Either way, I have complete trust that His plan is perfect and I will follow wherever He leads me.
'Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today" ~Ruth 3:18
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Fun with Kids
This was the scene I came onto Friday night when I went to the Curry's house. Kareem was going to prom that night and the family invited me to come and see him in his tux. He looked SO HANDSOME!! They told me to come around 6, but it turns out that they weren't leaving until 8, so I ended up sticking around for 2 hours and playing with all the kids in the neighborhood (okay, maybe not ALL of them, but it sure felt like it!). There are a lot of kids from the church on that block (Jonerik's family lives right next door to the Currys), but there are also a lot of other kids that I had never met before. I had fun doing puzzles, watching races and getting my hair done by the kids. 
There were a ton of friends and family members at the house to see Kareem off and it was so much fun. They made me feel like part of the family! I still can't believe these guys are growing up so much, I can't wait to see all the plans that God has for them! (Doesn't he look so handsome?!?)
Today was a very uneventful day, other than another shooting on the block next to mine. I spent most of the day hanging out with Shera helping her get errands and things done, and getting a few things on my to-do list crossed off as well. It was a beautiful day for most of the day and I loved listening to all the kids on my block playing outside. A huge thunderstorm hit around 8 and I heard them all collectively singing "rain, rain go away", which made me smile. Less than an hour later we heard the gun shots and Jenna and I immediately thanked God for the rain because it kept most people inside, away from the shots. No one was hurt in this shooting. I still don't know how the guys on my block are doing, no one has really heard anything. I think that's a good sign though, I think we would know if any of them had passed away.
Tomorrow and Monday should continue to be uneventful days. I am really enjoying the flexibility in my schedule and I am honestly not looking forward to the upcoming busyness. I'm going to try and enjoy the peace while I can though!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Full Update
I still can't believe that I am back in my own house. It feels SO SO good!! Its very different, living farther away from the church, and not in a church building. I am feeling a bit disconnected, but its worth it because I also finally feel like I am home.
To catch you all up on everything, the move went really great. I had several teens help me which made it go pretty quickly, and I only had to buy them pizza as payment. :) So far the only thing that has been lost in the move is all the bolts for my huge bookshelf that I had to take apart...whoops. Hopefully I will find them somewhere...
On Sunday night my friend Jenna arrived. She came to Philly last summer on a week long trip with AIM and fell in love with the city. She is working with AIM for the summer, but doesn't start until June 20th. She couldn't wait that long to get here so she came a month early to do an internship at a hospital and get to know the city. She is young (just finished her freshman year of college), and getting used to life "On her own", but it has been really nice having her around.
Next Wednesday Brook arrives, our Cornerstone summer missionary. She will be living with me until August and working with the church, mostly with the teens. I am really excited to have her come as well. She has been to Philly before, but I don't remember meeting her. It will be nice to have roommates around for the summer. I am also babysitting a friend's dog for a month in July, so I am going to have a full house! Yay!
I haven't even come close to completely unpacking, but that is mostly due to my lack of motivation. I hope to have it all finished by the end of the weekend. Its pretty hot outside, so staying in the air conditioning is pretty appealing. :)
Things are still very up in the air with me in terms of the fall. I go back and forth everyday and I don't feel like I have a clear direction at all. I do know one thing, though, Satan is on the attack. I almost feel like Wednesday night was God's wake up call to me not only about the neighborhood that I live in, but of the war that I am a part of. I have been seeking God's direction but not really trying to battle again the forces trying to keep me from His will. I temporarily forgot that God is NOT the God of confusion, that all comes from the enemy and I need to battle against that!
Unfortunately, that still hasn't left me with any clear answers. Despite our "break" from programs, everyone around me is still very busy (or on vacation) and so I haven't really been able to talk to people much. I am still keeping my eyes open for jobs and just talking to God a lot.
In the meantime, summer is almost here and there is SO much to do! We have Extreme Team for the teens, Reading Rocks for the kids, missions groups coming, our mission trip that is going, plus all of our regular activities...including Kids Club in which I am supposed to be planning a weekly activity for the Reading Room. I forgot about that until just now...hehe. I don't feel overwhelmed by all of it, I just need to really get on it! First, though, I have a college group coming to work with us for the first week in June and we are going to do a special after-school week with them. I haven't even started to think about that yet. I don't usually procrastinate, but I think my mind is just kind of overloaded with life.
Things have been pretty calm on my block since the shooting. I have talked to everyone in my family and they have been amazing! I was fully expecting to see my dad and brother drive up to my house, throw me in a car and speed off never to return me to Philly, haha. My dad admitted that he would like to do that, but actually wasn't too freaked out about what happened. He was more worried about my heart and how I was handling the scare than about my safety...he told me he trusts God to take care of me, he just wants to make sure I am emotionally okay as well. I LOVE MY FAMILY!!! My brother is planning on getting me a dog to make himself feel better, but other than that he wasn't too freaked out either. Its really awesome to see my family become more and more trusting of God and supportive of me being here.
Please keep praying for the people that were shot though, 2 of them are still in critical condition.
Okay, I think everyone is officially updated on my life. Don't you all feel better now? Haha, well I think now I might go out and enjoy the nice weather. Or...take a nap. :)
To catch you all up on everything, the move went really great. I had several teens help me which made it go pretty quickly, and I only had to buy them pizza as payment. :) So far the only thing that has been lost in the move is all the bolts for my huge bookshelf that I had to take apart...whoops. Hopefully I will find them somewhere...
On Sunday night my friend Jenna arrived. She came to Philly last summer on a week long trip with AIM and fell in love with the city. She is working with AIM for the summer, but doesn't start until June 20th. She couldn't wait that long to get here so she came a month early to do an internship at a hospital and get to know the city. She is young (just finished her freshman year of college), and getting used to life "On her own", but it has been really nice having her around.
Next Wednesday Brook arrives, our Cornerstone summer missionary. She will be living with me until August and working with the church, mostly with the teens. I am really excited to have her come as well. She has been to Philly before, but I don't remember meeting her. It will be nice to have roommates around for the summer. I am also babysitting a friend's dog for a month in July, so I am going to have a full house! Yay!
I haven't even come close to completely unpacking, but that is mostly due to my lack of motivation. I hope to have it all finished by the end of the weekend. Its pretty hot outside, so staying in the air conditioning is pretty appealing. :)
Things are still very up in the air with me in terms of the fall. I go back and forth everyday and I don't feel like I have a clear direction at all. I do know one thing, though, Satan is on the attack. I almost feel like Wednesday night was God's wake up call to me not only about the neighborhood that I live in, but of the war that I am a part of. I have been seeking God's direction but not really trying to battle again the forces trying to keep me from His will. I temporarily forgot that God is NOT the God of confusion, that all comes from the enemy and I need to battle against that!
Unfortunately, that still hasn't left me with any clear answers. Despite our "break" from programs, everyone around me is still very busy (or on vacation) and so I haven't really been able to talk to people much. I am still keeping my eyes open for jobs and just talking to God a lot.
In the meantime, summer is almost here and there is SO much to do! We have Extreme Team for the teens, Reading Rocks for the kids, missions groups coming, our mission trip that is going, plus all of our regular activities...including Kids Club in which I am supposed to be planning a weekly activity for the Reading Room. I forgot about that until just now...hehe. I don't feel overwhelmed by all of it, I just need to really get on it! First, though, I have a college group coming to work with us for the first week in June and we are going to do a special after-school week with them. I haven't even started to think about that yet. I don't usually procrastinate, but I think my mind is just kind of overloaded with life.
Things have been pretty calm on my block since the shooting. I have talked to everyone in my family and they have been amazing! I was fully expecting to see my dad and brother drive up to my house, throw me in a car and speed off never to return me to Philly, haha. My dad admitted that he would like to do that, but actually wasn't too freaked out about what happened. He was more worried about my heart and how I was handling the scare than about my safety...he told me he trusts God to take care of me, he just wants to make sure I am emotionally okay as well. I LOVE MY FAMILY!!! My brother is planning on getting me a dog to make himself feel better, but other than that he wasn't too freaked out either. Its really awesome to see my family become more and more trusting of God and supportive of me being here.
Please keep praying for the people that were shot though, 2 of them are still in critical condition.
Okay, I think everyone is officially updated on my life. Don't you all feel better now? Haha, well I think now I might go out and enjoy the nice weather. Or...take a nap. :)
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